I Must Compliment You. You Have Worked Hard To Get Where You Are. You Are Respected In Your Field Of Endeavor. You Are Fired.

At present, we are being told that it is inappropriate for a man to compliment a woman on her appearance while at work.

I made up the life story below...Or did I?

His Life in Bullet Points...

Ø He was born into a very poor family.

Ø From an early age he proved to be an industrious person.

Ø He studied hard in every school he attended.

Ø To help support his struggling parents and his 3 siblings he held many jobs throughout his life starting at the age of 8.

Ø He was always first in his class in every school he attended all the way through Medical School.

Ø He rose quickly to become the leading brain surgeon in the country.

Ø By the time he was 50 years of age he was credited with saving the lives of 984 patients with life threatening brain diseases and injuries.

To sum up him and his life... He was loved and respected and at the age of 50 he was in perfect health. This meant there were many more surgeries in his future and many more lives he was destined to save.

Then, one day he was taking a coffee break in the Doctors Lounge, and he said to a fellow female doctor, “You sure look good today, Sally”.

He was immediately ushered out of the lounge and out of the hospital and he walked to his car hearing his former medical colleagues shouting to him, “You are a terrible person! You will never practice medicine again! You should know better than to compliment a woman on her appearance!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The Mystery Is Solved But His Struggle Along The Road To Recovery Looks Like It’s Going To Be Long And Slow

For several weeks reporters covering the U.S. Senate have been grappling with a strange and unexplained happening going on with Senator Chuck Schumer and his Eyeglasses.

It all started during an interview with Wolfe Blitzkrieg on CCN. The Senator was making one brilliant political point after another and was moving on from brilliant point #32 to brilliant point #33 when his eyeglasses fell from his face bounced off his tie and careened onto the floor.

Wolfe was taken aback and tried to make light of the shocking thing that had just happened but it was evident to all political observers that something was seriously wrong with the Senator and the Senator’s Eyeglasses.

In the weeks that followed one Investigative Reporter after another tried to get to the bottom of what was wrong with the Senator and the Senator’s Eyeglasses and what was finally uncovered was a shock to all working Inside the Beltway.

The truth finally came, thanks to Google, when it was revealed that in 1808 a Bulgarian Doctor named Hector Herwitz revealed (after extensive research) the existence of Vitamin Deficiency in Brilliant People where the Cartilage at the juncture of the nose where it joins with the forehead starts to slowly shrink.

Doctor Herwitz's research revealed that this Cartilage Retraction Syndrome resulted in the nose itself becoming shorter. Heaven knows we have all wondered about how far Senator Schumer wears his glasses down his nose. We have collectively thought to ourselves, “If his nose were a quarter of an inch shorter his eyeglasses would fall from his face bounce off his tie and go careening onto the floor”.

That’s what has happened to our Senator Schumer. His nose has shrunk that one quarter of an inch and there is nowhere for his glasses to go but to the floor in front of him.

Doctor Herwitz was far ahead of his time as evidenced by the fact that he published his findings in the New England Journal of Medicine 4 years before the Journal’s first edition.

The most obvious fix has turned out to be a non-starter for the Senator. He tried a little dab of Super Glue but he has had to look elsewhere for the solution to his problem because he developed an allergic reaction to that little dab.

We all wish him well as he consults with his doctors to find a remedy for this most unsettling shortcoming and until that remedy is found, as is so often said within the Beltway, we feel his pain. 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Coronavirus Tidbits

The Way to Kill Germs Is Antibacterial Soap! ... Or is it?

For many years now we have been going out of our way to buy Antibacterial Soap because we wanted to get rid of Germs. Today I saw this on the Center for Disease Control...

“When washing hands, you can use plain soap or antibacterial soap. Plain soap is as effective as antibacterial soap at removing germs.”

************

Using Hydroxychloroquine and Azithromycin To Cure Coronavirus Is Dangerous.

Reported Danger Example #1...

Major medical organizations including the American Heart Association have issued warnings about the drug’s potential to trigger heart arrhythmia in some patients.

A 32-year-old woman, who had recently been diagnosed with Myocarditis (an inflammation of the heart muscle), was given a prescription for Hydroxychloroquine and Azithromycin by a Telemed Doctor (What the heck is a Telemed Doctor?). The Telemed Doctor had never seen her in person and he asked no questions about her underlying health conditions.

Thankfully the Prescription was not filled but the husband of the patient (victim) was on his way to the pharmacy when he was called and told to turn around.

Does not sound like sound like a Drug Problem. It sounds more like a Doctor Stupid Problem.

Reported Danger Example #2...

It is dangerous to take more than the Recommended Dosage.

No Chit Sherlock. Is that not the case with all drugs including Aspirin?

I have a Fix for this Dangerous Danger...

Always take the Recommended Dosage.

************

The Most Powerful Germ

All the Sanitizers we use advertise that they kill 99.9% of Harmful Bacteria.

That .1% Germ must be Really Powerful!

The company that comes up with a Sanitizer that advertises, “Our Sanitizer Only Kills That Pesky .1% of Harmful Bacteria” is going to make a lot of money!

************

Did I Make This Up?

The Number 6 is the key to everything Coronavirus.

Staying 6 Feet Away from other people will keep us safe.

Is it true that Driving 6 Car Lengths away from other cars is now being recommended?

************

People Who Don’t Wanna Smile

The National Association of People Who Don’t Like to Smile are really happy about all these Corona Masks because they no longer feel Social Pressure to Smile because other people no longer can tell when they are Smiling or Not Smiling.

************

Face Masks

The Face Mask has passed through many different iterations during the Age of Coronavirus...

Ø Masks are silly.

Ø Masks are unnecessary.

Ø Masks only protected an infected person from passing the Coronavirus to an uninfected person but they do not prevent an uninfected person from becoming infected.

Ø Masks should be worn by everyone (they skipped over explaining why everyone now had to wear one including everyone who was not infected).

Ø Masks had to be N-95 Masks or they were useless.

Ø Masks were made out of Handkerchiefs.

Ø Masks were made out of Doo Rags.

Ø Masks were made out of Paper Napkins.

Ø Masks started to appear that were made out of one half of a Brassiere. People who wore masks made out of extra large Brassieres started appearing in emergency rooms all over the Good Ole USofA because they were bumping into things, falling off of things and driving their cars into things because they could not see where they were going.

It is no wonder that some people gave up on this Mask Confusion and simply started holding their breath for extended periods of time.

************

Places You Can and Can’t Go

In my home state of Georgia we are being told we cannot go to Church but we are being give the green light to go to Massage and Tattoo Parlors.

************

American Medical Association Is Barking Up the Wrong Tree

My sources tell me that the AMA is asking for Stimulus Money for their General Practitioners because it says they are losing money.

I vote no because too many of them are not trying to help get us out of our dire predicament. Instead they are practicing Patient Avoidance as evidenced by the fact that they have placed Flashing Neon Signs in their windows that read, “If You Are Sick, Stay Out!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

In This Corner We Have God and In the Opposite Corner We Have the Big Bang and Over There We Have the Oyster

The above Subject Headline sure is jam-packed with Big Guys.

God is certainly a Big Guy.

The Big Bang is certainly Big otherwise it would have been called the Bang.

Read on to find out why the lowly Oyster rightfully deserves to be up there with the Big Guys.

************

If you are like me, you woke up today thinking that you did not know enough about the Oyster. Thank your lucky starts that you have me in your Sheltered in Place Life because I am going to tell you all about Oysters and how Complicated They Really Are... 

Oysters are filter feeders, drawing water in over their gills through the beating of cilia. Suspended plankton and particles are trapped in the mucus of a gill, and from there are transported to the mouth, where they are eaten, digested, and expelled as feces or pseudofeces. Oysters feed most actively at temperatures above 10 °C (50 °F). An oyster can filter up to 5 L (1.3 US gal) of water per hour. Chesapeake Bay's once-flourishing oyster population historically filtered excess nutrients from the estuary's entire water volume every three to four days. Today, it would take nearly a year.^[8] Excess sediment, nutrients, and algae can result in the eutrophication of a body of water. Oyster filtration can mitigate these pollutants.

In addition to their gills, oysters can also exchange gases across their mantles, which are lined with many small, thin-walled blood vessels. A small, three-chambered heart, lying under the adductor muscle, pumps colorless blood to all parts of the body. At the same time, two kidneys, located on the underside of the muscle, remove waste products from the blood. Their nervous system includes two pairs of nerve cords and three pairs of ganglia.

While some oysters have two sexes (European oyster and Olympia oyster), their reproductive organs contain both eggs and sperm. Because of this, it is technically possible for an oyster to fertilize its own eggs. The gonads surround the digestive organs, and are made up of sex cells, branching tubules, and connective tissue.

Once the female is fertilized, she discharges millions of eggs into the water. The larvae develop in about six hours and exist suspended in the water column as veliger larvae for two to three weeks before settling on a bed and maturing to sexual adulthood within a year.

************

Now you know that the Oyster has 2 Kidneys. If you do not know this, you skimmed over the above extremely interesting information about one of the great wonders of the world you live in.

Go back and read it again and don’t skim this time. I’ll wait...

************

Are you wondering if this Blog Posting is going anywhere? It certainly is and you are about to see where it is going.

Back in 1966 Time Magazine published its first cover ever that was made up of Only Words and I’m sorry to say the words were...

************

Think back to how complicated the Oyster is and ask yourself this question...

Do you really think the Oyster was created by the Chaos and Mayhem and Violence of the Big Bang Explosion?

Oh my gosh! All is truly lost. I just heard one of you say, “Of course not, Fella. The Oyster required 2 Big Bangs.”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

 

Let Us Not Confuse Change with Progress

Maybe no one ever said the above Subject Words except me but I have said them many times. I don’t always believe what I say but this is one of those times where I know I am dead right and at my age I don’t throw the word “dead” around without thinking to myself, “Do I really want to throw the word “dead” around?”.

Merriam-Webster has a lot to say about the word “change”. Here is a very incomplete list of some of what Merriam and Webster has to say…

Ø To make radically different.

Ø To replace with another.

Ø To make a shift from one to another.

***************

Enter the “Wisdom” of YouTube…

“If you want to cut off a leg or an arm, you’re mentally ill, but if you want to cut off healthy breasts or a penis, you’re transgender.”

Those are the words of Dr. Michelle Cretella said in a video published in 2017. She is a Pediatrician with many years’ experience in her field. She is also the Executive Director of the American College of Pediatricians.

Fast forward to November 2019 and this video of Dr. Cretella has been removed from YouTube. In its place, YouTube displays this message: “This video has been removed for violating YouTube’s policy on Hate Speech.”

***************

Enter the words “Hate Speech”…

The use of the term Hate Speech appears to be here to stay and its use is growing with every passing day.

This is the kind of thing we are now being subjected to in the Good Ole USofA…

Ø A person used to kill another person because the other person deserved to be killed or simply because they disliked the another person.

Ø Today disliking another person is not sufficient.

Ø The fact that you killed the another person in absolutely conclusive proof that you hated the another person.

Ø When you are sentenced for your crime you will be sentenced for Killing the another person and you will get more time for Hating the another person.

Ø If you only disliked the another person, you would have simply slapped or punched the another person.

Ø Slapping and punching has modern expanded implications also…
èA Slap is now classified as a Hate Slap and punishable by 8 years in prison.
èA Punch is now classified as a Hate Punch and is punishable by 17 years in prison.

(Yea, I made the above bullet point up…Or did I?)

Imagine how many years John Wayne would have spent in prison because he was always punching someone. (He never slapped anyone.)

If you don’t know who John Wayne was, don’t tell me. Just quietly Google him.

***************

Now to further your Foolish Education of the Silliness of all of this we now have a new Term of Confusion to fog our minds…

It seems some of us are suffering from Body Integrity Identity Disorder but fear not because we have a remedy and that remedy is to Amputate Limbs.

I can’t bring myself to say again which limbs so I will refer you to the Bolded Paragraph Above which follows the words, “Enter the “Wisdom” of YouTube…”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Am I allowed to ask this question?

If the Amputated Limb was healthy when it was removed, can the Amputated Limbed Person have it reattached if they later changed their minds or would that be considered Amputation Reversal Confusion Disorder?

Lagniappe Another: If you want to see John Wayne punching someone click here: If an ad appears, click Skip Ad... https://youtu.be/o3343LUHNb4

Abortion Has Always Been Objected To On The Basis Of Moral Outrage...Or has it?

Follow the money...

Abortion itself only became a serious Criminal Offense in the period between 1860 and 1880.

Ø The criminalization of abortion did not result from Moral Outrage.

Ø The roots of the new law came from the newly established physicians’ trade organization, the American Medical Association.

Ø Doctors decided that abortion practitioners were Unwanted Competition and went about Eliminating That Competition.

There’s nothing funny here. I’m just furthering your knowledge of the world around us.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: If you think I made this up or you want to read more about this from the site where I got this, click this link to the History Channel...https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/roe-v-wade

Close Enough...Or is it?

I’ll tell you upfront that I am going to make up a lot of this Blog Posting but I will still make my Brilliant Point...Or will I?

I was in Starbucks today (I told you I was going to make things up). You knew I was making things up as soon as I said, “I was in Starbuck today”. I don’t know for sure if there are people in Starbucks today because I am not allowed to go to Starbucks to see if there is anyone in Starbucks because I can’t leave my house to go to Starbucks.

The above paragraph really sidetracked me. I’m going to start over...

I was in Starbucks today spewing germs at everyone within Spewing Distance of my Spewing Germ-Infested Mouth. I was surfing the Internet on my Filthy Germ-Infested iPhone and, since I am who I am, I noticed that a Prestigious Institute of Higher Education had spent a lot of time publishing Useless Information.

I immediately thought of you, my Dear Readers, and said to myself, “Self, I just know that my Dear Readers, who are seekers of Useful Information about publishers of Useless Information, are just waiting to get this Useless Information from me”.

Now that I have your undivided attention...

The unnamed Prestigious Institute of Higher Education has been compiling information about the Coronavirus for us to worry about because they are concerned that we do not have enough information about Coronavirus to worry about.  

In the article the Prestigious Institute of Higher Education said, “Our data imply that, by April 1 between 48,000 and 81,000 people had been infected in Santa Clara County”.

Allow me to give you a more precise quote that Prestigious Institute of Higher Education should have published, “Our data imply that, by April 1 between 48,000 and 48,500 people had been infected in Santa Clara County”.

Does the Prestigious Institute of Higher Education really think that a range between 48,000 and 81,000 is a precise enough range to get anyone’s attention? That’s a spread of 33,000! I think that any survey worth its salt (whatever that means) could have come up with that imprecise a number without bothering to do a survey!

They could have gone to the nearest English Pub (actually they could have gone to a Hungarian Pub or a Brazilian Pub) drank a bunch of beers, thrown darts at a dart board and come up with this kind of spread. This is known in the Survey World as a Wild-Ass Guess.

I wonder how the Survey Compilers at this Prestigious Institute of Higher Education would like a text message from the President of their Prestigious Institute of Higher Education that read as follows...

We appreciate all you do for our Prestigious Institute of Higher Education. To show how much we appreciate all your hard work, we have revised our payroll brackets and you are hereby advised that you next paycheck will be somewhere between $48,000 and $81,000. Have a nice day.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

No Chit Sherlock!

A Waste of Time Headline...

White House Guidelines for Reopening the Economy Garner Mixed Reviews

************

Of course, there are Mixed Reviews.

Don’t think you will ever see a headline that reads... 

White House Guidelines Are Without Exception Welcomed and Praised By Everyone In The Country!

************

If a Thousand Dollar Bill was sent to every man, woman and child in the Good Ole USofA, we would hear this kind of Mixed Reviews coming back from an awful lot of the Thousand Dollar Bill Recipients...

Ø The mailman’s delivery route always delivers mail to the people across the street before he delivers to my side of the street. Why should the people who live on the other side of the street get their money before I get my money?!

Ø Every night on TV I see Congress throwing money at everything you can imagine and all I get is a measly $1,000!

Ø Yes I got a check for each of my 3 children but I don’t understand why families that have more children than I have receive more checks than I do!

Ø Money is free to our government. It has lots of printing presses. It should have printed more $1,000 bills!

Ø My bill had a corner that was bent! I demand an unbent bill!

************

Do you think I went too far this time? OK, I’ll concede that may be the case. I hereby pledge I will stop going too far when I no longer hear people call up radio talk shows and saying things like this...

Of Course, I Know What Roe vs. Wade Was All About. It Was The Very Difficult Decision That General George Washington Had To Make Before He Crossed The Delaware River.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Don’t Get Excited. This Is Not A New Blog Posting.

I’m sure many of you have not noticed that my Blog can be translated into many different languages. All one has to do is do some clicking in the Left Column of any Blog Posting where it says, “Translate Into Your Own language” and, before you know it, you can be reading my Blog in a language you can’t understand. (Does it make sense to say, “reading my Blog in a language you can’t understand”?)

 

During the Coronavirus Attack I know you are busy doing nothing so I went to the trouble to set up today’s Blog Posting into Chinese (Simplified) but it did not work because every blog I ever posted became Chinese (Simplified).

 

I’m now going to turn you loose to do the Translation Conversion on your own:

Ø Open my last Blog Posting: https://forii.blogspot.com/2020/04/question-why-do-you-dislike-that-guy-so.html

Ø In the left column click on, “Translate Into Your Own language”.

Ø Then click on, “Chinese (Simplified)”.

After you are done not reading Chinese, be sure to reverse the process and get back into English or you will find yourself in Night School taking Chinese (Simplified).

If you want to see it in Chinese (Traditional) have at it but, I warn you, you may not be able to understand it either (unless you are Chinese).

Simplified is not as Simple as it used to be (unless you are Chinese).

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Question: Why Do You Dislike That Guy So Much? Answer: At first I Liked Him But Then I Found Out He Was From Another State And That's When I Knew He Was Evil.

BC...Before Coronavirus

On August 26, 2007 I wrote a Blog Posting about the Chaos that existed before the Chinese invented Coronavirus. It was a long Blog Posting and, even though it was Well Written, I won’t repeat the whole Blog Posting in this Blog Posting but I will give you 3 of its Well Written Bullet Points to set the stage for this Well Written Blog Posting...

Before our Founding Fathers came up with the Constitution, Chaos was having its way with the Good Ole USofA…

Ø The cooperation among the states, forged in the 1770s and sustained during the war, had vanished with independence.
Ø Competition and exploitation reigned, and the revival of a fierce localism pitted Virginian against Marylander, New Yorker against New Jerseyite, Georgian against South Carolinian.
Ø Connecticut and New Jersey were rumored to be planning a joint assault on New York.

************

What Goes Around Comes Around.

AC...After Coronavirus

Pennsylvania’s Liquor Control Board announced March 16 that liquor stores would close the next day...

Ø The state was hoping to keep residents at home.

Ø Instead Pennsylvania Residents flocked to buy booze while they still could buy booze.

Ø Lines stretched around the block.

Ø Sales spiked to $29.9 million in a single day.

Denver saw a similar rush when Mayor Michael Hancock announced that liquor stores would not be considered Essential Businesses...

Ø The mayor told his minions not to panic buy.

Ø The minions panicked.

Ø Within hours the Governor reversed course.

Ø The liquor stores stayed open.

You are probably wondering why Colorado is smarter than Pennsylvania. I know why and you are about to know why because I am going to tell you why...

It’s because they are all smoking Marijuana and they are able to think clearly.

...Or is it?

Back in Pennsylvania the closures continued…

Ø Many residents are now driving to neighboring states to buy alcohol.

Ø West Virginia is refusing to sell liquor to anyone without a West Virginia ID.

Ø Delaware police are pulling over out-of-state drivers and instructing them to go home.

Ø Pennsylvania’s Liquor Control Board resumed limited Online Sales but it restricts orders to six bottles per transaction.

Ø The number of Online Orders immediately overwhelmed the site.

Ø The state now rations access to the Online Store.

Black markets thrive when the government refuses to let supply match demand, so expect to see rum runners make a comeback.

************

I’ve got an idea. Let’s bring back Prohibition.

Did you just say we tried that before and it did not work?

I was ready for you to say that and I will give you the Socialism Perfect Answer…

Prohibition Did Not Work Because It Was Not Done Right. We Will Do It Right This Time Because We Are Smarter Than We Used To Be.

Above is the Socialism Perfect Answer for having another crack at Prohibition. To use the Socialism Perfect Answer to advocate another crack at Socialism the Socialism Perfect Answer must be modified to read...

Socialism Did Not Work Because It Was Not Done Right All Those Other Times It Was Tried. We Will Do It Right This Time Because We Are Smarter Than We Used To Be.

...Or are we?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

What Me Worry?

Are you worried? Did I just hear you say, “Worry about what?”

Pardon me. I thought it was obvious. I’m, of course, talking, about the United States National Debt.

Are you wondering what started me pecking out this confusion? It was because I was just sitting here reading the November 15, 2004 issue of Business Week. I know you are familiar with that issue…Or are you?

Here’s what caught my eye…

“With a $7.7 Trillion Budget Deficit, It’s Time to Cut Spending!”

As I usually do, I will now remind you about just how much money we are talking about…

A Trillion is a Thousand Billion and a Billion is a Thousand Million and a Million is a Thousand Thousand and, being as Smart As I Know You Are, You Immediately Grasped That $7.7 Trillion Is 7 Thousand 700 Billion Dollars.

But we have nothing to worry about because Business Week caught our Congress’ Attention back in November 2004 and Congress Cut Spending … Or did it?

The Current U.S. National Debt is More Than $24 Trillion and Growing Bigger Each Second That Passes!

Since I already showed you how much money we are talking about I won’t do it again but maybe you ought to start worrying. On the other hand, why should you be the only one?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Why Are You In Here?

I Don’t Normally Burden My Dear Readers with Two Blog Postings in One Day but This Is an Emergency

The finely dressed new inmate is roughly shoved into his new cell. He looks ill at ease. Already in the cell is the inmate who somehow looks right at home in the new inmate’s new cell.

They both want to be friendly so they strike up a conversation…

Ø Hi, my name is Howard. What’s your name?

Ø My name is Randolph but everyone calls me by my nickname, Killer.

Ø Hi, Killer.

Ø Hi, Howard.

Ø Tell me, Killer, have you been in here a long time?

Ø You might say that, Howard, I’ve been here since 1987.

Ø Wow, Killer, that is a long time.

Ø Killer, may I call you Killer?

Ø Sure, everyone else calls me Killer, why should you be an exception?

Ø Why are you in here, Killer?

Ø Well, as you probably have guessed from my nickname, I have killed people. Actually I killed a lot of people. I killed my wife. I killed her boyfriend. I guess I should qualify that. I killed a guy who I thought was her boyfriend but he just turned out to be someone she sat next to on the bus. I killed my neighbor’s dog because he barked after 9 o’clock at night. Then I had to kill my neighbor because he objected to my killing his dog for barking after 9 o’clock at night. Since I have been in here, I killed 3 cellmates, but I think I am reformed, because I have not killed a cellmate in the last 7 years.

Ø Howard was speechless.

Ø Killer felt obligated to keep the conversation going so he asked why Howard was in jail.

Ø Howard told him he has violated the Coronavirus State Mandate to Shelter In Place and he had gone to Good Friday Services at his Church.

Ø Killer’s eyes got big as saucers. All of a sudden he looked downright frightened. He jumped up and ran and grabbed the bars of their cell and started shouting, “Guard, get me outta here! Get me outta here!” Then he turned to face Howard keeping his back up against the bars and while grasping the bars over his head with his clenched hands he continued shouting, “Be quick about it! And send someone to help me move my stuff!”

In these uncertain times we all have our own fears and some of those fears are not only new but they are downright overwhelming.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Corona Beer Is Going Out Of Business…Or is it?

Attention Grabbing Headlines are created to get us to read News Articles.

Very often Attention Grabbing Headlines are created to get us to read News Articles that we might not have bothered to read if that Attention Grabbing Headline had not been specifically designed to deceive us into thinking that there was some juicy news in that News Article that is actually not in that News Article.

A good example of what the above confusing paragraph tried to say is this Deceptive Attention Grabbing Headline…

Corona Beer Stops Production

What does this imply?

• Corona Beer Sales have fallen like a rock.
• Corona Beer is going to go out of business.
• Congress needs to step in and pass a Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security Act (number next) for Corona Beer.
  ➽I had to put in the word “next” instead of an actual number because there is no telling how many Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security Acts will have been passed by the time Congress gets around to saving Corona Beer.

At the bottom of this Blog Posting you will find the link to the News Article that inspired this Blog Posting. You can read it, if you want to, but you might not want to read it because I am about to peck out the gist of what it says. (Many of you will likely read it to see if I was lying when I pecked out the gist)…

• Corona’s coincidental name with the Coronavirus has not dented sales.
• Corona Beer Sales have not fallen like a rock.
• Corona Beer is not going out of business.
• Grupo Modelo, the company that makes several different beers including Corona Beer, said its sales have actually accelerated 24% in the first three weeks of March compared to a year ago with Modelo and Corona being its top sellers.

Are you asking yourself, if all of the above is true and Fella is not lying, why has Corona halted production? The reason is because the…

Mexican Government Has Shuttered Non-Essential Businesses.

Now you know why Mexico has not conquered the world. A country that has a government that is so misguided that it actually thinks the Production of Beer is a Non-Essential Business is not too smart and it will never become a world power.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Here’s the link… https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/03/business/corona-beer-production/?iid=ob_article_organicsidebar_expansion

In The Age Of Coronavirus I Am Discombobulated About Lots Of Things And One Of The Most Befuddling Is China.

There is a lot that I don’t understand and you, Dear Readers, can help me. Please read through this series of bullet points and enlighten me about the last one…

Ø First Day News Report: The Chinese Government says that there are a few cases of the Coronavirus in a few parts of China but everything is under control.

Ø Second Day News Report: The Chinese Government reports that hospitals in Wuhan are handling a very light increase in cases comfortably but unnamed sources are telling international news agencies inside the country that hospitals all over Wuhan are bursting at the seams.

Ø Third Day News Report: The Chinese Government reported today that Ventilators and N-95 Face Mask Supplies are to the point where any day now China will begin sharing their abundant surplus with other countries across the globe but videos have come across the Internet of doctors, nurses and patients wrestling for control of ventilators and ripping face masks off of each other in the hallways of Wuhan General Hospital.

Ø Fourth Day News Report: The Chinese Government reported today that New Cases of the Coronavirus have fallen to the point where the Curve Has Definitely Been Flattened but Mr. Anonymous (disguised as a potted plant) has reported from his balcony that the streets below his hotel room are crowded with throngs of people desperate to get out of Wuhan and they are trampling each other to death as they flee the city in all directions.

Ø Fifth Day News Report: A Wuhan doctor who attempted to warn the public about a potential Coronavirus outbreak died on Friday from the Coronavirus Infection. The doctor who was widely hailed as a hero after it emerged had been targeted by police for spreading "rumors" about the virus, when he was in fact sharing accurate information to try and raise the alarm. Government officials labeled this as Fake News saying that the Doctor was actually on vacation at a resort on the South China Sea with his family.

Ø Sixth Day News Report: The world is now absolutely certain that the Chinese Government is not to be trusted when it comes to any information about the Coronavirus.

Ø Seventh Day News Report: The United States Government Reports that it has had 3,251 people die of the Coronavirus. A short while later the Chinese Government Reports that it has had 3,250 people die of the Coronavirus and our News Media goes bonkers with these Headlines…
>>> What the heck is wrong with us?
>>> It is unconscionable that the United States should have more deaths from the Coronavirus than China!
>>> Our Government has been telling us about all that it is doing for us to fight the Coronavirus and now we find out that China has fewer deaths than we do!
>>>All Is Lost!

Would China kid us?

Smartfella

Are We Obsessed With All Things Coronavirus?

Have you noticed that you can’t get any news coverage about anything except Coronavirus? I have and you probably have not but that’s because I am a Noticer and you are not.

Did I hear you just say, “Fella, I think you are exaggerating! This is one of those times when you are dead wrong!”

I can’t believe you just said what you just said to me. If the scenario am about to peck out below comes to pass, you will be apologizing to me for what you just said to me.

The day has come where the Coronavirus is a thing of the past and you hear your TV say to you…

Today the CDC and all equivalent such organizations on Earth have published a joint communication announcing that the Coronavirus has been removed from every country on Mother Earth. The Coronavirus was brought down by a microbe that was discovered inside of the holes of Cheerios Cereal. Once the Coronavirus Killing Properties of this microbe was confirmed it was only a matter of time before a Vaccine was Developed, Produced and Injected into every human being on Earth. The Coronavirus Is A Thing Of The Past!

And now we can catch up on News Items that we just could not get to while Coronavirus was having its way with us. First on our Catching Up On The News List is…

Six weeks ago the People’s Republic of China in cahoots with the Russian Federation dropped five Atomic Bombs on the City of Los Angeles. All Angelenos are dead and the city itself is no more.

OK, I got carried away with this Blog Posting. There is no way this could have happened…Or could it not have?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Don’t Worry About Social Security Going Broke. It Has A Bag Full Of Tricks That You Won’t Believe.

Not only am I a Noticer (Ludwig, let me know if this is a word) but I also am Persnickety.

If you just thought to yourself that I am again making you look up words, I’ll save you the trouble…  

Persnickety…Overly attentive to detail and trivia.

I was looking at my Social Security Benefit Letter for 2020 and I was overcome with relief when it dawned on me that I did not have to worry about Social Security running out of money while I am still around to worry about it running out of money.

Here is the money trick that caught my Noticing Eye today…

1. My (yours does to) letter told me that my Total Social Security Benefit for 2020 was $x,xxx.xx.

2. It then told me (yours does to) that the Social Security Administration (SSA) was deducting from my Total Benefit the amount that I have to pay for Medicare Part B (you do too).

>>>I wonder how many of our fellow citizens don’t know that they pay for Medicare.

3. Then it says my Monthly Social Security Payment is the remainder after subtracting Medicare Part B from my Total Benefit.

Here is one of the points in this saga where my Persnickety Self raised its curious head.

4. I looked at my deposited benefit in my checking account and saw that Actual Monthly Social Security Payment was less than what the letter said was my Monthly Social Security Payment was supposed to be.

5. Here is where I panicked. I saw that I was getting $23.30 less in my checking account than what the SSA said my Monthly Social Security Payment was supposed to be. This meant I would have to call the SSA Office and wait on the phone for an hour while I listened to the worst music you or I have ever heard in our entire lives (they do this on purpose hoping you will give up and hang up). Then a crack SSA Agent who does not care a whit about what your problem is and who sounds like she was hired 20 minutes before she accepted your call and who is mad at you because you did not get mad at the terrible music and hung up the phone says, “May I help you?”.

6. The good news is I was so traumatized by the fear of having to call the SSA that I kept working the numbers and I figured out the $23.30 mystery.

7. What they don’t tell you is the Monthly Social Security Payment they tell you is your Monthly Social Security Payment is not your Monthly Social Security Payment because before they get to the Actual Monthly Social Security Payment they have to deduct your Medicare Part D Payment which, in my case, is $23.30.

>>>I wonder if there is an App that can tell me how many Persnickety Man Hours are wasted each year by people like me trying to figure out why their payment is not what the SSA says their payment is.

I bet you are thinking to yourself, what does this have to with have to do with the SSA using tricks to not run out of money?

Here is the trick…

 There is a line in the letter where it says, “Your Regular Monthly Social Security Benefit is $x,xxx.xx”.

 Right below that line is the Trick in parentheses which reads, (We must round down to the whole dollar”.)

 Don’t ya like where they say they must round down. 

>>>It’s like they are saying, it’s not us it’s them.

 They don’t must round up if over $0.50 and round down if $0.50 and under.

 This means if a Monthly Social Security Payment is $0.01 they round down and if it is $0.99 they round down and they round down for all numbers in between.

Are you saying to yourself, “Self, why is Fella being so Persnickety? What difference, at this point, does it make?” 

I’ll tell you what difference it makes. If we use the average Round-Down Number of $0.50 (in my case it was $0.60) it means the SSA saves $32 Million A Month!

I told you your SSA was Tricky!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The CaronaWorldWeLiveInVirus Is In Control! ... Part 2

More from My Park…

Children’s Playground

We are all in mortal danger!

As you know from my earlier Blog Posting the Playground at my park has been closed and Police Tape had been attached to trees along its perimeter to let all of us know that entering was forbidden.

Since then the Banned Children have been coming up to their Forbidden Playground and staring longingly at where they used to have fun. I have seen many a tear shed during these staring sessions.

Yesterday as I was walking past the Empty Playground a Forbidden Child went up to the Banned Playground so he could stare and be unhappy and he saw that the Safety Tape was no longer making the Playground Safe because it had fallen down to the ground.

I was shocked as the little fellow turned and ran towards his Mother screaming, “Get back! We are in danger! The Police Tape fell down and the germs are getting out!”

Yes, I made up the Terrified Child and his Terrified Terror and what he said to his Mother…Or did I?

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Pavilion

The Park Pavilion has been made safe for all of us by putting up Police Tape and then they removed the 10 to 12 Picnic Tables where we used to sit and spew germs at each other. 

Now if you go inside the Police Tape you are subject to Arrest, Imprisonment (up to 60 days) and a Fine (up to $1,000).

It must’ve been a real chore to move all those picnic benches. They were all one piece with the table and the seats on each side connected and they were extra long and very heavy.

I think they could’ve probably gotten the same result by smearing Jell-O all over the tables and benches and leaving them in place.

I apologize. The Jell-O came out of my Self-Isolated Bored Mind. I admit it is not practical…Or is it not?

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This picture below is an add on that has nothing to do with my Keep-My-Heart-From-Attacking-Me Park. I did it because I was concerned that you might not have gotten your money’s worth out of this Blog Posting…