Here are many examples of Dumb Run Amuck...
The Worst Offenders
- Vermont
Governor Phil Scott announced that no one may gather with anyone from
another household—even outdoors. He justified the ban because
“you don’t know what your neighbor has done.” (He later amended the
order to allow socially distanced walks with one other person.)
- Villages
in New York banned the use of leaf-blowers. According to the mayor of
Sleepy Hollow, because of the COVID pandemic, blowing dust into the air
“creates a HAZMAT situation.” And in Croton-on-Hudson, the Village
manager expressed “concern that the use of leaf blowers may be
contributing to the spread of the virus although there is no scientific
proof of this.”
- Massachusetts
Governor Charlie Baker imposed a “no exceptions” mask mandate requiring
everyone age 5 and older to wear masks in public, even when outdoors and
socially distanced (or, presumably, alone).
- Los
Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti banned all travel other than for essential
activities, including “travel on foot, bicycle, scooter, motorcycle,
automobile, or public transit.” In other words, no unnecessary
walking.
- The
mayor of Louisville, Kentucky, banned drive-in church services
for Easter. Fortunately, a federal judge put a stop to the ban,
writing that the mayor’s order was something “this court never expected to
see outside the pages of a dystopian novel, or perhaps the pages of The
Onion.”
But it wasn’t just the measures themselves that were
troublesome. The enforcement of these new laws was also overzealous and absurd.
- Police
in Encinitas, California, cited 22 people for “watching the
sunset” and “having picnics near the beach.” Violations carry fines of up
to $1,000 and up to six months in jail.
- A
19-year-old woman in Pennsylvania was stopped by police and
given a $200 ticket when she went for a drive—alone—“just to get out of
the house.”
- In
California, police chased down and arrested paddleboarders and surfers who
went out in the ocean socially distanced from anyone.
- A man
in Brighton, Colorado, was arrested for playing catch with his
6-year-old daughter on a near-empty softball field.
************
Fella Made This One Up...Or did he?
The Mayor of Palooka, Illinois personally arrested a man in
the Palooka’s City Park who was throwing a football to no one. The Mayor was cruising
the park while he was Masked, Gloved and Wearing Plastic Wrap Covered Galoshes
when he observed the offending offender throwing the ball and running to pick
it up only to throw it again and running to pick it up to throw it again over
and over. When the mayor questioned the Thrower to Nobody Football Thrower as
to why he was throwing the ball to nobody the Thrower to Nobody Football Thrower
said he wanted to get some exercise but everyone else was afraid to come out of
their houses for fear that COVID-19 might be outside their houses. The Mayor
said he had to act because the Thrower to Nobody Football Thrower might have encouraged
another exercise seeker to come out of his house to seek exercise and the Mayor
feared that the two of them might have caused a crescendo of other Thrower to Nobody
Football Throwers to come out of their COVID Safe houses to seek exercise. The
Mayor said he was further concerned because he knew his entire police force was
unavailable to make the arrest in his stead because they were afraid to come
out of their houses because the Mayor had told them not to come out of their
houses.
I’m going to stop now because I am beginning to sound
Foolish and you know I never want to sound Foolish...Or do I never want to?
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
