I did it again in church yesterday. I allowed my mind to wonder while it should have been praying for you, my dear readers.
Those of you who have been reading my stuff for awhile may recall I did this once before when I became fixated on Blue Jeans, Shorts and Flip Flops in church. Click below to revive an old chuckle or two…
http://forii.blogspot.com/search?q=jeans
This time I got to looking at people’s feet. To be perfectly blunt, Feet Are Ugly. Why is it that people want to walk around any place at all, much less in church, with their feet exposed is beyond me.
The worst part of feet is toes. They go all directions when people walk. They are bent left and right. Some are so long they hang off the end of the flip flop. Some point up at about a 75 degree angle and then flop down as the foot hits the ground. Quite simply stated, feet are a mess.
Somewhere back in the past Mr. Revlon convinced women that their toes ought to be painted, so Mr. Revlon could build a big mansion to live in. The lady in the pew with me yesterday had selected Putrid Green for her little piggy's. They kept me awake during the homily. I kept peaking at them to see if they were still there and still Green.
Some of the feet that I saw had closed end shoes so that the toes were not visible. I also analyzed this phenomena and drew the inescapable conclusion that people with good looking toes must not be allowed to show off their toes.
Given enough time all toes deteriorate. Eventually they all become ugly and by federal law, once ugly, they are required to be exposed. The agents of the Federal Department of Ugliness (FDU) are probably roaming our streets and byways with their handheld x-ray machines on the lookout for ugly toes still hidden by shoe coverings. Once FDU determines that your toes are ugly enough, the person who is connected to the toes is required to wear open toed sandals or flip flops. If they can’t afford to buy their new foot gear, taxpayer dollars are used to give them what the law requires that they wear. It’s the only fair thing to do.
Some of you are probably thinking I have really stepped into it this time because I have offended all those out there who like sandals and flip flops. Actually this is not the case. All such people think that they are the exception to the rule and that their ugly feet are pretty feet and, therefore, I am not talking about them and their pretty feet. In this misguided belief they are pretty wrong.
If feet came without toes, I might not be this riled up but they do and so I am.
Would I kid u?
