One of my Young Dear Readers who is a College Freshman just sent me an email. In it he told me a horrifying story about what has happened to him at his University. I am so glad he did it in Bullet Point Format because it will greatly help me to put together this Blog Posting...
Ø Up until the Wuhan Virus attacked us several months ago he thought all was going well in his new college life.
Ø He was pleased with how he was progressing and had accumulated a very acceptable Grade Point Average in the courses he had already completed.
Ø In March all of his courses were changed to Online Courses Instruction.
Ø As time went on he had become comfortable with learning via the Internet.
Ø Recently he was surprised to receive a phone call from the Dean of his school of instruction.
Ø The Dean told him he wanted to conduct a Sheltering in Place Progression Interview.
Ø There were no difficult questions during the Sheltering in Place Progression Interview phone call but it seemed to my Young Dear Reader that the interview was more of a chit chat than an actual interview.
Ø After about 4 minutes the Dean’s voice changed from one of pleasant conversation to tense agitation, and as my Young Dear Reader was in the middle of what he thought was a rather insightful and intelligent answer to the latest question, the Dean interrupted him and said, “I’ve heard enough!” and hung up without even saying good bye.
My Young Dear Reader told me he just sat there in stunned silence for a few minutes. He did not know what had just happened but two days later he found out the awful truth of what had just happened.
************
His answer came in the form of a Snail Mail Letter from his University. It read as follows...
“Dear Young Dear Reader,
We have been growing increasingly concerned about the written papers you have been submitting for you class assignments, therefore, we decided to conduct an Interview to Check You Out. We could not have been more shocked at your performance during this Interview!
Our suspicions were aroused because
of the antiquated practices you employed in these written assignments. The use
of capitalizations and punctuation is something we have not seen at this
university for many years.
The phone call was necessary to
verify our suspicions. We now know for certain that you, my good man, are Using Proper Grammar! This is
unacceptable and will not be tolerated at this University now or at any time in
the future!
As a result of this transgression of
yours, you are barred from any further participation in all courses that you
are presently enrolled in and your College Record will officially show the
awarded grades as Withdrawn Failure.
In addition, all courses which you
have already completed will have the Incorrect
Grade of Record changed to “F Minus”, which, of course, stands for Failure Really Bad!
If you decide you
want to force the issue and continue your course of instruction at our
University simply because you feel entitled since you have already paid our Exorbitant
and Unjustifiable Tuition, you
cannot expect any higher Grade than “F Minus” until we have been convinced that
you are screwing up the English Language as completely as every one of your Fellow
More Enlightened Students.
Two
Bits! Four Bits! Six Bits a Dollar! All for Rutgers Stand Up and Holler!
Sincerely,
Dean I. M. Silly”
************
If you wanna read all about it, click the link below...
Rutgers University has declared Use of Proper Grammar Racist
https://pjmedia.com/culture/rick-moran/2020/07/26/rutgers-university-declares-grammar-racist-n706569
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
