Winston Churchill Politically Corrected

If Winston Churchill were still with us, do ya think he would be forced to be Politically Correct? If so it would probably look like this.

The Actual Directive...
Churchill's Directive to General Alexander Commander-in-Chief in the Middle East
1. Your prime and main duty will be to take or destroy at the earliest opportunity the German-Italian Army commanded by Field Marshal Rommel together with all its supplies and establishments in Egypt and Libya.
2. You will discharge or cause to be discharged such other duties as pertain to your command without prejudice to the task described at paragraph 1 which must be considered paramount in His Majesty’s interests.
WSC, 10 Aug 1942

Winston Churchill Politically Corrected...
1. Your prime and main duty will be to take or destroy at the earliest opportunity the terrorist throughout Afghanistan and Iraq commanded by Osama Bin Laden together with all their supplies and establishments in both countries.
2. You will discharge or cause to be discharged such other duties as pertain to your command without prejudice to the task described at paragraph 1 which must be considered paramount in Her Majesty’s interests.
3. It is of paramount importance you must not make anyone mad at us.
WSC, 29 June 2007

Would I kid u?

Quick Border Fence

Wanna know how the Border Fence could be built in a heart beat? It would be easy. Allow me to explain…

If the Mexican/U.S. Border were being crossed in huge numbers by Mexican Congressmen and Mexican Senators who were taking the positions in our Congress of our sitting Congressmen and Senators and our sitting Congressmen and Senators were losing their jobs, the Border Fence could be built darn near overnight.

Use your mind’s eye to picture with me for a moment...

• Members of Congress climbing all over the fence as it was being built.
• They are all sweaty but are refusing to take breaks as they work at a feverish pace.
• They all have Home Depot Aprons on their sweaty bodies.
• They have power tools in hand and other tools stored in their golf bags nearby ready for quick access.
• They have nails in their mouths ready for pounding.
• Diane Feinstein is standing guard holding a Tommy Gun and has two 357 Magnum Pistols strapped to her hips.
• They are chanting, “Hell no, we won’t press one for English!”

What a sight!

Would I kid u?

Pet Peeves

One of my pet peeves is I hate change for the sake of simplification or cute...especially Cute. Here are some old examples of such nonsense...

• Christmas changed to Xmas.
• Thanksgiving Day changed to Turkey Day.

Today I read in the newspaper about the latest and maybe the worst...

• The Fourth of July changed to Weenie Day.

Would I kid u?