Have you ever thought to yourself, Self, that’s a problem that needs to be addressed! I’m going to run for political office so I can fix that problem! It is my civic duty!
If you are ever on the verge of throwing your hat into the ring, I’m here to tell you ForGetAboutIt!
What I am about to peck out in this Blog Posting will demonstrate what I am talking about. As usual, I will not mention the Political Affiliation of the real-life politicians involved here because it might activate your own Political Leanings and you will get mad at me.
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First Unnamed Politician
In this current crazy election year there is a politician who is running for re-election as governor of his state and he appears to be in great jeopardy of losing his re-election bid. Here is a short bullet point list of his record as governor since he took over a state that was an Ongoing Unmitigated Disaster...
Ø His state’s economy is now booming.
Ø His State’s Unemployment Rate has been 3% or below for eight months.
Ø His State’s Unemployment Rate has not been this low since at least 1976.
Ø Year to year average hourly wages in his State are up 5% when compared to the 2.9% Nationwide increase.
Ø Manufacturing employment has grown 12% since he first took office in January 2011.
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Second Unnamed Politician
This president saw the handwriting on the wall (whatever that means) and decided to not run for re-election because he knew he could not win.
Ø The United States government under him ran fiscal surpluses.
Ø The unemployment rate went down (from 3.9% to 3.1% during the last 4 years).
Ø The labor-force participation rate went up (from 57.2% to 58.9%).
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We’re getting near the Bottom Line so here is my Bottom Line...
Ø It sometimes does not make any difference how well you have performed in office.
Ø Some crazy unrelated event is going to happen (like your brother-in-law, who you have not talked to in 12 years, getting caught with his hand deep into the school board’s cookie jar in Buzzard’s Breath, WY) and you are going to be thrown out of office.
Ø The voters never seem to learn that next guy in that office has the same brother-in-law, only he has a different name.
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This Blog Posting could end right here and all of you would agree that I have made my point very well...Or would all of you?
However, it does get even crazier when you consider this...
There is a race going on in the Good Ole USofA this year where a political new-comer appears to have a very good chance of being elected with this as his past history...
Ø He’s been arrested nine times.
Ø The charges against him included...
>Operating a vehicle under the influence of alcohol.
>Driving with a suspended license.
>Unlawfully protesting.
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I’m going to contact my Congressman (if I can find him) and implore him to propose a New Tax called the You Gotta Be Crazy Tax. The money generated by this new tax is to be placed in a Lock Box to only be used to Examine the Heads of Anyone Foolish Enough to Have Ever Considered Running for Political Office in the Good Ole USofA.
If I got my Congressman (whoever he is) on the phone and asked him if he wants to be on my Blog Notification List, he would probably tell me he is too busy to talk to me because he is having his head examined.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
Lagniappe:
Above I was silly enough to use the term, “Lock Box That Cannot Be Broken Into”.
I looked this term up in the Congressional Dictionary and found the definition to be, “There is no such thing as a Lock Box That Cannot Be Broken Into but it is sure-fire way to get votes because the voters fall for this promise every time”.
It hurt me to see that there was actually a Smiley Face at the end of the definition but, what hurt me the most was the message behind the Smiley Face which read, “I am your Congressman and I approve this Smiley Face”.
