Today is the day our Mayan Friends told us was going to be the end of the world. I took them to heart because, up until now, I have never had a Mayan lie to me. I acted on their forecast and had a wonderful breakfast.
I have said to myself many times, “Self, if you are ever told that you don’t have long to live, go to the Bacon Grease”. I did just that. I had a breakfast of Five Eggs Cooked in Bacon Grease. It was wonderful!
What really drove me to the Bacon Grease was an unconfirmed report from an anonymous source that said that Sasquatch had confirmed the rumors about the world ending today. 
Sasquatch has never lied to me before either. Wow! That’s two people I have always trusted sending me a bum steer in close proximity one to the other!
The final blow is going to be if I find out that the 24 Hours News Cycle was somehow involved in this hoax. Everyone knows it always tells us the truth. 
I have to stop now. I think my heart is starting to twitch a bit.
Would I kid u?
