The National Geographic Society has long contended...
“It is Settled Geography that, no matter from where you start on Planet Earth, New Zealand is a long way away”.
After bringing up this fact, I pose this question...
That being the case, why are gaggles of tourist flocking to go walk around New Zealand?
The simple answer is...
Because they have a burning desire to walk where all those things did not happen.
Now that I have explained why, I can see by the look on your faces that you are confused. Please allow me to help you understand.
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This is the first three paragraphs of an article in the Wall Street Journal about the Invasion of Flip-Flopping Footed Tourist in New Zealand...
“QUEENSTOWN, New Zealand—Towering mountain ranges, forests and glacier-fed rivers made New Zealand the perfect stand-in for Middle Earth in “The Lord of the Rings” movie series and a cinematic billboard for the country’s natural beauty.
Today, jet boats rip down rivers seeking the mythical Isengard, where the wizard Gandalf was imprisoned. “Freedom campers” in rented vans leave trails of waste. Tens of thousands of helicopter trips annually deposit visitors, some in flip-flops, on New Zealand glaciers that were once the realm of expert climbers.
One tour group had to be rescued after trying to walk barefoot to Mount Ngauruhoe, in apparent homage to J.R.R. Tolkien’s Mount Doom.”
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Time for Fella to come clean... I do not know diddly squat about the Lord of the Rings Movie Series. I have never read J.R.R. Tolkien’s books and have seen only small pieces of his highly-acclaimed movies.
This may place me in the small group of people who have not read or seen his stuff but I intend to persist in my “ignorance” because I have been told that J.R.R. Tolkien’s has not read any of my Foolishness and I have no movies for him not to have seen.
The more important point is, J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings series is a work of fiction! It did not happen! I find it silly that so many people want to go stand in the exact spot where something never was.
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All of this Foolishness should not surprise me because years ago on a trip to London I found out that every day of the week tourist pay money to walk through 221b Baker Street. I’m sure you all know (Or am I sure?) that this is where Sherlock Holmes did not live.
Think I made this up? Click here: http://www.sherlock-holmes.co.uk. This is Sherlock’s Official Home. If you did not click the link, I’ll tell you that the price of an Adult Ticket is 15 Pounds. As of today, 15 Pounds convert to $20.09.
Maybe I could turn this Silliness into a windfall for Fella. I could rent space in a strip mall and set up a Book Store for the sale of my Little-Read Green Book, Foolishness...Or Is It? I could charge people a fee to have them walk through the shop. I could draw them in by advertising in all the Tourist Magazines offering the opportunity to walk through Fella’s Book Store where thousands of book buyers did not come to buy his book.
If you can’t make it to my book store because you are in New Zealand, you can buy my Little-Read Green Book direct from Amazon by clicking here: https://www.amazon.com/Foolishness-Alexander-J-Ortolano-ebook/dp/B00AJ3IYI8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1527169334&sr=8-1&keywords=Foolishness...Or+Is+It%3F
You can then read my book at night in New Zealand when you have nothing else to so because it appears that New Zealandite Elected Officials are so desperate to cut down on the Flip-Flopping Footed Tourist walking all over their former seclusion that they are contemplating cutting off Nighttime Wi-Fi to the Tourist Invaders.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
Lagniappe: In case you think I made up the New Zealand foolishness, click below:
Lagniappe: In the interest of Full Disclosure, the only thing I made up in this Blog Posting was the word “Zealandite”.
