Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Can You Hear Me Now?

Throughout history we have had Ages...Bronze Age, Iron Age, Industrial Age, Middle Ages, Age of Discovery, Age of Enlightenment, Machine Age, Atomic Age, Information Age, etc. Even if you were not as observant as I am, (there is a darn good chance that you are not) you must have noticed that America is deep into The Talking Age.

Cell phone talking people are all around us. They talk while walking. They talk on exercise machine in the gym. They talk on nature trails as they walk along ignoring nature. They talk while at stoplights. They talk while driving down streets, highways & interstates giving a new resurgence to the fear created by Ralph Nader's 1965 book, "Unsafe At Any Speed"...

However, there is a fly in this ointment (whatever that means). The talking people are running out of people to talk to.

It is simply a matter of Supply & Demand. The people they want to talk to are already talking to other people. We are seeing evidence of this growing phenomena every day...

  • More & more rescue squads are being sent into the Nature Tails referred to above to bring out stranded walkers who ran out of people to talk to while they were walking. As a society we are finding out that many of us have lost the ability to walk without talking. The rescuers are finding the walkers just standing out there with a look on their faces akin to somewhere between confusion and downright fear. Many times they are found in a severe state of dehydration.
  • Some of us find we are unable to push down on the accelerator pedal without first making phone contact with another talking person. Many people have stayed in their garages for hours while the franticly dial every phone number in their address books. Husbands have come home from work only to find their wives weeping uncontrollably with the car in reverse but without the ability to back out of the garage.
  • One of the strangest cases of this phenomena happened recently in Altoona, PA. A driver finished a call & had overcome the initial urge to panic between calls & continued to navigate down the road. In an unthinking moment the driver put its phone hand on the steering wheel. The shock of seeing both hands on the steering wheel at the same time cause a panic reflex action & the driver swerved the car off the road. Thankfully the two walking talkers on the sidewalk were not hit but they were very shook up as the car careened past them into a weeping willow tree.

Actually the sainted Steve Jobs saw this unsettling situation coming before he went up to take over God’s Information Technology Department. After his death one of his minions found the plans on his drawing board for a Conversational Siri.

This next generation Siri will be able to hold conversations with the Walking Driving Talking People around the world who find themselves without a listener.

When a talker runs out of people to talk to, for a small fee the panicked talker can call 1-800-SiriYou (800-747-4968) & be connected with Conversational Siri & chat to their heart's content.

Actually, although I did not see it at the time, I was shown a glimpse of Steve Job's genius on my first contact with Siri. I was not sure what the word for Siri was & I mistakenly started my question by saying Sorry instead of Siri. Siri came right back at me & said, "No need to apologize...".

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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Lagniappe: Steve Jobs in the Apple...

Design created by Jonathan Mak is a student at Hong Kong’s Polytechnic University School of Design

(At last count two other "creators" of the logo are lawyering up.)