Recently I decided I wanted to get a better understanding of the Unemployment & Homicide Rates in the Good Ole USofA. I went to U.S. Government Statisticians Lunch Room & made like I was one of them.
At first, since I was not recognized, I was treated with some skepticism but once I spouted off a sentence that was too long, full of buzz words, which made no sense & chock full of numbers that were unrelated to each other, I was accepted.
After lunch we went back to an office that had a sign over the door that read “Conjureification Department” (that’s where they conjure up numbers to confuse us).
Unemployment Rate...
I was shown a monthly chart that went back to the beginning of reported history of the U.S. Domestic Unemployment Rate. It was quite interesting.
Something caught my eye on the right side of the chart. It was identified as the “Unreported Domestic Unemployment Rate”. Each of these rates had an asterisk next to it that referred to a footnote that simply said, “Ignore This Rate”.
The Domestic Unreported Rate was always much higher that the Domestic Unemployment Rate. When I inquired about this rate, I was told that this was the Unemployment Rate after adding in all the people who had stopped looking for work.
I asked how it was determined that a person had stopped looking for work. The explanation I got was so convoluted, long & complicated that I can’t possible repeat it to you. I did try & get a better understanding so as to educate you as best I could but I must have pressed too hard because I was told to shut up.
I then asked if a person who had stopped looking for work still unemployed? The answer was yes but I was then told that the Folks Back Home did need to know about this. I pressed again & I again I must have pressed too hard because I was told to shut up.
I have always been told, You Can’t Beat a Dead Horse. At about this point I came to the realization that I had gone about as far as I could go on the Domestic Unemployment Rate & decided, If The Horse Is Dead, Get Off The Horse, so I moved on the Homicide Rate.
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Homicide Rate...
A few years ago the Homicide Rate in Honduras was reported by the United Nations as being 91 Killings for every 100,000 people (highest in the world at that time). At the same time the comparable Homicide Rate in the Good Ole USofA was Fewer Than 5.
While looking at the U.S. figures, I took note that the figures for Chicago’s Homicide Rate were set off to the side. When I asked what was going on with the Chicago Statistics they said that Chicago was not included in the Fewer Than 5 U.S. Homicide Rate.
At first the statisticians tried to change the subject but I really thought I was onto something, so I continued to ask why Chicago was not included in the U.S. Homicide Rate. Again I must have pressed too hard because I was again told to shut up.
I did not give up on this one. I continued to press them. All of them became very uneasy & started to sweat a lot & eventually they saw that I was not going to be deterred.
Finally the Chief Statistician lowered head & in a very soft voice said, “If we included Chicago, we would be higher than Honduras”.
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In the future if you want the unvarnished truth & getting that truth would require me to contact the U.S. Government’s Statisticians, you are going to have to seek that truth in someone else’s blog because they won’t let me in the front door anymore. I have been told to never come back.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
