I Am A Firm Believer That Talking Heads Can Talk

I will readily accept the fact that Talking Heads can talk but can they think? Allow me to prove to you that they definitely cannot think.

I was on my way to Home Depot and listening to the car radio. It was then that I realized two things…

First… We are into the second phase of the Japan Earthquake and Tsunami Disaster.
Second… Talking Heads have 3X5 index cards in their hands at all times and, no matter what the person being interviewed says, they are going to read the next question on their 3X5 index card.

Phase One…Everything Is Awful & We are All Going To Die: Japan’s Earthquake and Tsunami was an absolute feeding frenzy for our news media. It has allowed them to panic and to demand that we panic right along with them. They enjoy doing this kind of thing to us…

• We are all going to die and, if we don’t, we are going to wish we had.
• California was going to be under water.
• We were all about to start glowing with radioactivity.
• A Federal Directive was reported to be imminent that we were not going to ever be able to eat anything that begins with the letter “J” (Japan).

Phase Two…It Is Not So Bad After All: In this phase they explain to us that all the terrible things we have come to fear are not going to happen after all. The strangest thing is the media, who told us all those terrible things, are now acting as if they have no idea who told us all those terrible things.

Today’s interview I heard with the Talking Head proves that I know about what I am pecking out to you.

The All-Knowing Expert being interviewed said that the danger from eating any food imported from Japan was very low. To prove her point she said the following…

• If we were to eat contaminated spinach that had been grown in a field next to the nuclear power plant that blew up and melted down and looks really bad on TV, we would not be harmed.
• If we would eat that spinach every day for an entire year we would receive the same radiation we would receive from a single MRI.

The All-Knowing Talking Head then said, “Well that is a relief! That isn't anything to worry about. Let’s go to happy hour!”

That is not what out All-Knowing Talking Head said. True to the Code of Heads she asked the next question on the 3X5 index card. She asked, “Are you advising that Americans not eat any food imported from Japan?”

Because some of you persist in thinking that I make everything up I again feel compelled to say the following…

The Interview I Related To You Above

Is Not Made Up!

(OK, I did make up the part before the interview about not being able to eat anything that begins with the letter “J”.)

Would I kid u?