What’s Up With Names?

Many in our society (but not the Smartfella?) are infatuated with what we name ourselves. A “mature” adult who changes his name to “Bow Wow” (I did not make this one up) bears his own responsibility for being laughed at. The sad part is we are not laughing. We say things like, “Dat’s cool”, “Whatever floats your boat”, “Everyone is entitled to do their own thing”.

What is even worse is modern “mature” adults are naming their newborn offspring using name creation thinking that results in some strange monikers…

• Taking well-known names and misspelling them and coming up with…
  o Regena instead of Regina.
  o Dawnn instead of Dawn.
  o Martellus instead of Marcellus.
  o Billye instead of Billy.
  o Parisa instead of Paris.
• Some geniuses have taken to inserting an Apostrophe in the middle of names and coming up with the likes of, “Nu’Keese”.
• We also have the holdover from ancient times where we try to keep alive Roman Names and come up with such gems as, “DeQuayvious”.
• Many years ago President Reagan put his tongue into his cheek and wrote a commentary about the phenomena developing at the time for hyphenating names by combining the bride and the groom’s names into one name. He noted that if this practice were to go on through just a few generations we might end up with…
  o John Smith-Halloran-Schwamm-Morningside-Lacarelli-Sherman-Bukowski-Krenwinkle-Roget.
  o Can you imagine the difficulty this would present to John Madden if John Hyphenating was a running back for the Chicago Bears?
• I read an article a few years ago that told me that people were naming their children after automobiles. A quote from this article is shown below…
  o “There are kids named after cars: Corvette, Acura, Camry, Celica and Infiniti.”
  

It will be a sure sign that a modern mother-to-be went into labor in Walgreen’s Drug Store if you see “Neutrogena” on her little fellow’s soccer shirt.

Would I kid u?