I
am spending too much of my life on the phone on hold waiting for online "help".
These
people are paid to keep me to be happy, are they not? I know what they are
doing instead of picking up their end of the phone & helping me. They are sitting
around drinking their Fruity Drinks With
Little Umbrellas in them. That's exactly what they are doing!
I think
deep down they really do want to help me because they went to all the trouble
to make a recording that tells me over & over that my call is important to
them.
What
I don't understand is, if the above paragraph is true, why do they play such Awful Music Awfully Loud at me while I
patiently wait?
I
have been persecuted by this assault on my hearing & sanity for a long time
now but was not prompted to blog about it until recently because I started
noticing a significant number of people running out of their houses screaming
things like... "I can't take it any
longer" or "Why do they do
this to me?!" or "Aghaaaaaaaaa!".
I
assigned the responsibility of finding out why these people are acting this way
to one of my best Investigative Investigators
& it was not long before I had the answer...
"Sir, the reason the
Awful Music is played Awfully Loud is that they are hoping you will hang up the
phone & run out into the street screaming things like... "I can't take
it any longer" or "Why do they do this to me?!" or
"Aghaaaaaaaaa!".
If you do hang up, then they
can keep sipping their Fruity Umbrella Drinks.
Also, their assigned quota
is only 2 calls handled per day &, since a disconnection is counted as a
call completion, they have probably already reached their assigned quotas
&, therefore, they have no vested interest in taking your call."
I
make my Investigative Investigators
address me as "Sir" because I pay them well & they are afraid of me
because they need the job since the Major News Networks stopped investigating
anything & started reporting everything.
(I've
spent hours trying to get the link below to work. If it does not work, Plan B
is I am going to send an ordinary old fashioned email to each of you with the
mp3 file attached. Plan C is, if Plan B does not work, take my word for it the Awful Music Is Awful!)
Click
here to hear the Awful Music Played
Awfully Loud for yourself...
If
you are a masochist & want to experience what I am gripping about, you can call
the Social Security Administration (800 772 1213) & experience the Awful Music Played Awfully Loud up
close & personal.
After
being asked a bunch of questions & threatened a couple of times, you can
ask to speak to a Representative & THEN YOU WILL BE PUT ON HOLD. I don't
think there is any chance that you will not be put on hold because they always
put you on hold because they are sitting around drinking Fruity Umbrella Drinks.
If
you really want to make the SSA call, you do so your own peril but, please
remember to look both ways before you run out in the street screaming.
Would
I kid u?
Smartfella
(563)
