The above Subject is a good one for what you are about to read in this Blog Posting. Another title I could have used is…
“You Are Going To Think I Made This One Up”
On December 16, 2017 I received an email from the company who installed my new Water Heater on December 1, 2017. Here is what they told me about the safety inspection that is required of all Water Heater Installations performed in our County…
Call our Office at (xxx)xxx-xxxx as soon as possible so we can schedule your inspection. (Yes, it was written in Red.) Our County strives to perform each inspection on the date requested. To establish a set time range for the inspection please contact the inspectors directly, the day prior to the Inspection, by calling xxx-xxx-xxxx between 7:00 – 7:30 AM. You must speak directly with the inspector to confirm a preferred time range. Due to the high volume of inspection requests, some inspections may be delayed one or two business days. Please plan accordingly.
Notice the Words Of Urgency… “as soon as possible”, “contact the inspectors directly” and “You must speak directly with the inspector”.
This is obviously an Important Letter about an Important Inspection that must be complied with because of the Very Serious Consequence that could attack me if my Gas Water Heater has been installed incorrectly.
I was a bit nervous as I started to do what I had to do to comply with the Safety Requirements as laid out by my County Government.
Here is how it played out…
Ø I called immediately as directed to do by my installation company.
Ø The nice lady at the installation company did not seem near as nervous as I was but I attributed that to the fact that the whole process had become routine because of the many times she has had to handle these Very Important Inspection Setup Procedures.
Ø We agreed that my Very Important Safety Inspection was going to be conducted on Thursday the 28th.
Ø I put into my iCloud Calendar a notation (with alarm) that I was going to have to call and speak to my Safety Inspector on Wednesday the 27th about my Safety Inspection on Thursday the 28th.
Ø I chose 7:05am as the time my alarm was going to alarm me on Wednesday the 27th because I did not want to miss complying with the very short window of opportunity that had been given to me to call and speak to my Safety Inspector about his arrival at my house to perform my Very Important Safety Inspection.
Ø At 7:05am my alarm alarmed me but, to be honest with you, I was nervously watching, waiting and looking at my iPhone starting about 2 minutes before my alarm was set to alarm me.
Ø I dialed the important phone number and it was answered on the second ring.
Ø I remember thinking that the important answerer was standing by waiting for the phone to ring because he was fully aware about how important these incoming calls were.
Ø I blurted out my information (I had rehearsed)…My Name, Street Address, My County Permit Number and I waited for instructions.
Ø He said, “You need to phone back tomorrow (Thursday) between 7 and 7:30am which is the actual day of your safety inspection”.
Ø I said I had been told to call the day before the inspection.
Ø He said, “You need to phone back tomorrow (Thursday) between 7 and 7:30am which is the actual day of your safety inspection”.
Ø I told him I would comply with his instructions and call back tomorrow (Thursday).
Ø I put into my iCloud Calendar a notation (with alarm) that I was going to have to call back the next day (Thursday) and speak to my Safety Inspector.
Ø At 7:05am the next day (Thursday) my alarm alarmed me.
Ø I dialed the important phone number and it was answered on the second ring.
Ø I blurted out my information (I had again rehearsed)…My Name and Street Address but I left out my County Permit Number (I guess I was on edge) and I waited for instructions.
Ø The Safety Inspector who had answered my important call said, “We can’t schedule you till next Tuesday”.
Ø I quickly went through all of what you have read above and then the Safety Inspector Scheduler said, “What is your County Permit Number?”
Ø I gave it to him and he said, “Your Safety Inspection is setup to be performed tomorrow (Friday)”.
Ø I asked what time tomorrow (Friday)?
Ø He said, “You need to phone back tomorrow (Friday) between 7 and 7:30am which is the actual day of your safety inspection”.
Ø I asked if he could give it to me now and save me having to phone back tomorrow (Friday).
Ø He said, “You need to phone back tomorrow (Friday) between 7 and 7:30am which is the actual day of your safety inspection”.
Ø I told him I would comply with his instructions and call back on tomorrow (Friday).
Ø Then a strange thing happened. He said that my Safety Inspector was not available on tomorrow (Friday).
Ø I asked if he was sick or just not available on tomorrow (Friday) and, if he were not available on tomorrow (Friday), how could he do my Important Safety Inspection tomorrow (Friday).
Ø He completely ignored my question and said, “You need to phone back tomorrow (Friday) between 7 and 7:30am which is the actual day of your safety inspection”.
Ø I told him I would comply with his instructions and call back tomorrow (Friday).
Ø I put into my iCloud Calendar a notation (with alarm) that I was going to have to call back tomorrow (Friday) and speak to my Safety Inspector who would not be available to speak to me.
Ø At 10:30am (about 2 hours later) my doorbell rang.
Ø When I opened the door, there stood my Safety Inspector ready for action.
Ø I came to attention and said that I was surprised to see him today because my inspection was set up for tomorrow (Friday) not today (Thursday).
Ø He did not seem at all interested in what I had just said to him.
Ø I opened the garage so he could inspect my water heater which lives in the garage.
Ø If he had had a 10 Foot Pole, he could have used it to touch my Water Heater because that is about how close he got to my Water Heater.
Ø If the inventor of the 10 Foot Pole had invented the 11 Foot Pole instead of the 10 Foot Pole, he could probably have used that to touch my Water Heater because that is probably how close he actually got to my Water Heater.
Ø He said, “That looks good. I’ll tell the computer that your Water Heater is safe”.
Ø If my garage door had been set to start closing as soon as it reached fully open, he probably could have made it back out of the garage without bumping his head.
I feel so much better because I now know My Water Heater Is Safe … Or Is It Has Been Inspected for Safety? … Or Is It Has Been Safely Inspected From A Safe Distance? … Or Is It It Has Been Checked Off In the County Computer?
------------------------
For those of you who are still with me on this one, I would like to bring you my thinking from my…
Stop and Think About It Department
Ø This County Inspection Requirement is setup because of safety concerns for county residents.
Ø If there were a safety problem with the installation of my New Water Heater, it would probably have raised its ugly head right after the installer had finished the installation.
Ø What I mean is my garage would have blown up during the first night after installation as we slept while our newly installed but Uninspected Water Heater was heating our water in our garage.
Ø Our Yet-To-Be-Certified-As-Safe Water Heater was installed on December 1st.
Ø It was certified as Safe on December 29th.
Ø Does it not seem logical to you that the Safety Inspector should have done his Safety Inspection on the Day of Installation before I laid me down to sleep?
This looks like a cushy job to me. I’m going to apply for employment as a County Water Heater Safety Inspector.
I bet the County would even furnish me with my very own 10 to 11 Foot Inspection Pole.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
