I’m sorry (not really) but I think People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals should not spend their time getting agitated about Silly Issues if they want to be thought of as Not Silly.
PETA now is demanding that the Commissioner of Baseball change the name of Bullpen to the Arm Barn. I (an acknowledged expert on Silliness) am here to tell you that this is Silliness of the Highest Order.
The first recorded use
of the term Bullpen was in 1877...
Ø These people way back then were not Evil People just because they started calling the Bullpen the Bullpen.
Ø They were not deliberately being disrespectful of Bulls.
Ø They were not the least bit uncaring about the feelings of Pens.
Lucky for them they happened to be living in a time when they were allowed to say things without being always on guard that each and every word they used would be analyzed for inner meaning knowing that a wrong word at the wrong time could jeopardize their livelihoods.
What’s next?...
Ø The word “Strike” needs to be banned from baseball because it implies violence. It would be better if we called it a “Centered Placement of the Ball”.
Ø The use of the word “Gridiron” must be removed from Football because a Gridiron is a Hot Grate for Cooking Food. Research has been conducted by some really smart researchers and they determined that the smoke emitted from the millions of Gridirons worldwide is confusing the Caribou and causing them to migrate into areas they don’t want to migrate into and once they do migrate where they did not want to migrate to they do not know how to get back from whence they migrated.
Ø The word “Sneakers” ought to be banned from basketball because it has a nasty ring to it since it implies that the basketball players hang around with Sneaky People like Burglars. What’s the alternative? There are many possibilities but “Soft Shoes” has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?
Don’t blame me for this Blog Posting. The Silly People at PETA caused me to write it. I just stumble across the Irrational out there and try to warn you what Foolishness is coming your way so you won’t be blindsided.
See, I myself just did it without knowing I did it! I was uncaring and insensitive and I want to apologize before a boycott is launched against my Blog. I said “blindsided” and I am sorry I did. I know I should have said Visually Impairedsided or Unseeingsided or Destitute of Visionsighted.
One thing I know for sure is I will never say “Blind As A Bat” because that is sure to get the Bat Lovers R Us People all roiled up at me.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
Lagniappe: The
sad part about all of this is, in the Era of Silliness which we live in, we
hear such Foolishness and we laugh and we make jokes about how Crazy the Silly Protests
are. Then, within weeks of the laughter dying down, we turn on the TV to see
Panel Discussions in progress about the merits of what we were just laughing
about. If we stay in front of the TV we witness College Professors explaining
the Merits of the Crazy. We sit with our collective mouths open as we hear
Psychologist lament about the injustices that are been heaped on bulls from the
moment they are born. Before we know it we begin to feel guilty. Then we shock even
ourselves by saying something like, “It
looks like the manager has had enough. He just told a left hander to start
warming up in the Arm Barn”.
