Saturday, January 31, 2026

Who Said Health Clubs Do Not Do Foolish Things?

I did not have my Potted Plant Outfit on this trip to my health club. If I had had it, I could have pecked out a Blog Posting in minute detail about how Nestor (the club’s small jobs employee associate) messed up this small job. Instead, I will make up what must have happened. Fear not I can make up happenings where I was not present that are so accurate it’s as if I were present.

Ø Nestor's Supervisor said to Nestor, “Nestor, go to shower #4 and attach this stick-on hook to the wall right outside the shower so members can have their towel waiting for them to use when they finish their shower”.

Ø Nestor said to Nestor's Supervisor, “Sometimes I think you go out of your way to give me all the hard jobs!”

Ø Nestor's Supervisor said to Nestor, “You are right there, Nestor, you have special skills and we try to make use of those skills as often as possible. Please hurry there might be a member looking for a place to hang his towel as we speak.”

Fella says to his Dear Readers, I leave it up to you to decide. Did Nestor do a good job...Or did he not?

Would I kid u?
Smartfella

Lagniappe: Can you believe that the manager of my health club turned me down when I recommended this name change for his club? … Staying Healthy Is Enough To Kill You. 😊


Monday, January 26, 2026

Holiday Bargain

On Martin Luther King Day my wife and I walked into a local Chinese Buffet restaurant that we had walked into many times before. We thought we knew the price we were going to have to pay for lunch but that day the price was a shock to us.

The first thing we saw was a large handwritten sign next to the podium that the Little Asian Lady who would show us to our seats usually hides behind because she is a Small Asian Lady. 

As soon as I saw the handwritten sign I looked toward the hiding podium, but I could not see the Little Asian Lady because she was really hiding behind the hiding podium today.

I don't think I would have been surprised to find out Asians had respect for Martin Luther King but the degree of their respect for him was a surprise to me.

They had so much respect for Martin Luther King that they had raised their price by $8.00 above their usual price to a whopping $21.00!

It was at this point that the Little Asian Lady stuck her head around the side of the hiding podium, and she said one single word, "Holiday".

Maybe my problem is I don't understand Asian Customs and Traditions. Maybe in Asia it is a sign of Respect to charge more money if you are selling something to a person you respect. 

That's it! Maybe they were charging me more because they respected me and it just happens to be a Holiday.

What do I know, in Asia it might even be an insult to charge someone you respect the usual common ordinary low price.

That must be it...Or is it?

On the other hand, if this is the case, why does the Little Asian Lady feel compelled to hide behind the Hiding Podium while she says, "Holiday" to me?

Would I kid u?
Smartfella

Saturday, January 10, 2026

What If Fella Had Not Made It Back from Vietnam?


November 12, 1965, was the closest I came to being killed in Vietnam.


If I had been killed on November 12, 1965, most of my family members would never have been born and those who were born would have had their lives dramatically changed. 


Here are those who would not have been born (as of this point in time): a son, another son, a granddaughter, a grandson, another grandson, another granddaughter, another granddaughter, another granddaughter, another grandson, another grandson, another grandson, another granddaughter, another grandson, a great grandson and a great granddaughter.


Did the above paragraph confuse you? Well get ready, you ain’t seen nothing yet because Fella is about to really confuse you (and him).


My first daughter was already born but without me going to work for American Motors who sent me to live in Michigan, who knows where my wife and my first two children would have lived. Probably not in Michigan. My first daughter met her never-would-have-met-him-husband because one summer she went to work on Mackinac Island in Michigan because we had lived in Michigan because American Motors had sent me to live in Michigan and she had learned there was an island way up high in Michigan named Mackinac Island while we lived in Michigan. She met her future husband because she saw him working in the window of a Fudge Shop on Mackinac Island. Had she not been on Mackinac Island to meet him, my grandchildren from that marriage, a granddaughter, a grandson and another grandson would not have been born.


My second daughter  would have been born but would never have met her never-met-him-husband because she might have been in Arizona where she was born or in Florida where her grandparents moved after I was killed (my wife was living with her parents while I was in Vietnam), therefore, my daughter would never have met her never-met-him-husband who was living in Georgia watching football games while my daughter might have been living these or other places. This all means a granddaughter, another granddaughter, another granddaughter, a great grandson and a great granddaughter would never have been born (as of this point in time). 


My son who never-was-born never met and married his never-could-have-been-his-wife because he was never born. This means a grandson, another grandson and another grandson would never have been born.


My other son who never-was-born never met and married his never-could-have-been-his-wife because he was never born. This means a granddaughter and a grandson would never have been born.


I’m sure you can now see (or am I certain) this all means a never-could-have-been-my-son-in-law, a never-could-have-been-my-daughter-in-law and another never-could-have-been-my-daughter-in-law would all be wandering around looking for their never-could-have-met-them-mates. 


One of my never-was-born-grandsons married my never-could-have-met-her-daughter-in-law, but, since he was never born, that never-could-have-met-her-daughter-in-law would be wandering around looking for my never-was-born-grandson.


Repeat the above paragraph for another never-was-born-grandson.


One of my never-was-granddaughters is engaged to a never-going-to-be-my-grandson-in-law, so my never-going-to-be-my-grandson-in-law would be wandering around looking for my never-was-born-granddaughter. 


Repeat the above paragraph for another of my never-was-born-granddaughters who has a boyfriend who is never going to be my grand-boyfriend-in-law. 


I told you I was going to confuse you.

************

If Vietnam Veterans meet up, they are very likely to say, “Welcome home, brother”.


I’m different because I say, “I’m glad you made it back”.


This Blog Posting also has me very confused, however, I’m certainly not confused when I say I’m certain all of the people described in this Confusing Foolishness ought to say to me, “I’m glad you made it back”.


Would I kid u?

Smartfella


Lagniappe: This is the longest time between Blog Posting on record. The reason be apparent to you now that you have tried to read your way through this Blog Posting. I have been trying to figure out what I have been trying to say.

Tuesday, December 09, 2025

I first did this Blog Posting in 2009. It is time for a redo. It Is Also the Time of Year for THIS PARTICULAR Redo.

By way of this Foolishness…Or Is It? I am formally offering each of you the opportunity to get in on the ground floor of a Sure-Fire Money-Making New Venture aptly named...GrandmaNearYou.com. If you are one to quickly see a financially sound opportunity, you will be writing a check before you get to the end of this Foolish Blog Posting.

Back when my Mother used to visit us for various holidays, we flew her to wherever we were living at that time...Los Angeles or Detroit or Milwaukee or Detroit (again) or Atlanta or Los Angeles (again) or Atlanta (again).

Our family was always excited to see her, especially since she was sure to be carrying 5 pounds of my Grandfather’s Secret Recipe Italian Sausage and several jars of Ma Brown Kosher Dill Pickles (Since I left New Orleans in 1975 I have never found Ma’s Pickles).

The silly company which bought out the company that made Ma Brown's Kosher Dill Pickles quickly decided to take out the Spicy. 

Fella Comment: This proved it was a silly/stupid company. 

Fella Wonders: Fella wonders how much money the new silly/stupid company spent on Focus Groups trying to figure out why the New Pickles did not sell as well as the Old Pickles. 

Another Fella Comment: They should have asked me and saved all that Focus Group money because the Spicy was what made them better.

************

On one of these Grandma’s Coming To Visit visits, as my family and I sat waiting in the airport for her to deplane, I took note of all the Grandmas who were arriving from all over the United States who had flown in for the holiday. The idea for this Sure-Fire Money-Making New Venture hit me like a thunderbolt!

Why not use some of this computer technology we were now developing to locate a Grandma that is closer to where our family lives and bring this, more convenient, Grandma over for the holiday?

Our too-far-away Grandma would not go unappreciated. She certainly would be grabbed quickly by some local family looking to save a wad of money on airfare. We would certainly be glad to testify that she would be a delight to have over because we really liked having her around.

I am not being heartless because the Grandma that you had been intending to fly in, at great expense, would now very likely just have to go a few blocks to her new nearby Holiday Family. Other benefits for the Stay Near Home Grandmas are too numerous to list in their entirety but here are a few of the obvious ones…

  • She would not have to pack and unpack her suitcases.
  • She would not have to stop the newspaper.
  • She would not have to stop the mail.
  • She would not have to put the dog or cat in a kennel.
  • She would not have to get herself to the airport.
  • She would not have to suffer the humiliation of being frisked while that guy with the two-foot-long beard wearing a robe walked right by in his flip flops.
  • She would not have to have to take off her shoes during the freaking frisking process.
  • She would not have to sit in a cramped airplane for hours (because you were cheap and you did not buy her a first-class ticket).
  • She would not have to eat airline snacks (they used to get actual food that Grandma would not have to eat).
  • She would not have to be endangered by terrorists.
  • She would not have to sleep on an unfamiliar bed and pillow while visiting.
  • She would not have to fly back home and again be exposed to all the above airline persecutions.

Heaven knows there are a lot of American Males who would jump at the opportunity to have a different Mother-In-Law for a change.

Variety could also be added to your family’s holiday because your new Grandma would introduce your family to her own special cooking talents.

Again, computer technology could be used to make this a Win-Win Proposition for all involved by using computer technology to tailor make your conveniently located grandma. The form where you applied for your substitute Grandma would allow you to fine tune your replacement Grandma. You would be able to pick from one of the following:

  • Black hair
  • Brown hair
  • Red hair
  • Grey hair
  • Blue hair

You would be able to specify a cooking specialty:

  • Italian
  • Mexican
  • Spanish
  • German
  • Chinese

You would be able to select a nationality:

  • Italian
  • Mexican
  • Spanish
  • German
  • Chinese
  • Anything but French

The potential of this brilliant (if I do say so myself) idea is boundless! This may be your best chance to become one of the Filthy Rich.

************

Become a Charter Owner of GrandmasNearYou.com today! Don't let this opportunity pass you by! Send your check to:
GrandmaNearYou.com
c/o The Smartfella?
What A Deal, GA 30096

Dig deep! The bigger your check the bigger will be your percentage of ownership of GrandmaNearYou.com permitting you to become filthy sooner than other slower investors.

Would I kid you?

Smartfella

 


Saturday, November 15, 2025

I Don’t Like You but I Really Hate My Management for Trying to Make You Think I Like You.

Here is a Blog Posting of mine from April 9, 2010…

Making Clerks Friendlier

This is from The Philadelphia Inquirer … The state's Liquor Control Board is spending more than $173,000 to try to make workers friendlier and more well-mannered at the nearly 650 stores it operates. The board says it wants to make sure clerks are saying "hello," "thank you" and "come again" to customers shopping for wine and spirits.

A Harrisburg good-government activist said it's, “a sad state of affairs when you have to train people to be kind and courteous”.

This is what Fella thinks about this sad state of affairs…

If we don’t act now, we will find ourselves having to spend even more money to train clerks to…

  • Give the customers back their change.
  • Give the customers the bags (paper or plastic) containing what they have bought.
  • On cold days keeping the doors to the stores unlocked during their work shift because clerks had started locking the doors to prevent cold air from rushing in and giving them a chill.*

Would I kid u?

************

If Target’s management had read my blog from 2010 they might have thought better before issuing their 2025 Be Nice to Our Customers Directive.

Here is what Target’s Management thought was a No-Brainer Directive that no one, including their current employees, would object to…

  • A new staff policy at Target, part of a program called 10-4, is forcing employees to engage with customers more.
  • Fella says notice it said “forcing” and it appears force is going to be necessary.
  • Staff within a four-foot radius of a shopper must also personally greet the customer and initiate a warm, helpful interaction.
  • Fella thinks they will start making sure they stay 5 feet away from customers.
  • The company said that the new program is an attempt to elevate the shopping experience for patrons, making them feel truly appreciated.
  • With the resentment shown below, Fella wonders if they are really appreciated.
  • Target said, “We know when our guests are greeted, feel welcomed and get the help they need that translates to guest love and loyalty”.
  • Fella thinks it may translate into guest love and loyalty, but at this point it is generating employee hate and resistance.

After the comments that came back from Current Target Employees (see below), Current Management has headed back to the drawing board.

Employees sounding off online about the new policy makes Fella think the 10-4 Plan is likely to backfire…

  • “Who the f–k is waving at guests?”
  • “If I was [sic] a shopper, I would find that creepy.”
  • “Who the heck waves? I’ve never waved at a guest and would feel so uncomfortable doing so.”
  • One worker mocked the policy, saying the person who came up with it is “obviously an alien” and should be “investigated” by U.S. authorities.
  • “There is no way they’ve lived on this planet for years and think waving is a completely natural thing to do with guests!”
  • “Nothing says ‘corporate joy’ like a mandatory smile.”

************

Back at the beginning of this Blog Posting, we were told of the good intentions of Pennsylvania’s state's Liquor Control Board when it thought it was a good idea to spend more than $173,000 to try to make workers friendlier and more well-mannered.

Fella’s advice to Current Target Managements is… Have you ever heard of A Drop in The Bucket? $173,000 is not near enough to get your Modern Target Employees to be nice. If you said the word “nice” to any of them, they would whip out their Smartphone and Google the word.

On the other hand, don’t get carried away with how much you do spend. No amount of money is likely to fix this problem. Go back above and read the last six bullets. Do you really think these employees sound fixable?

I have another idea. Call the Pennsylvania State Liquor Control Board and ask how their $173,000 investment worked out. If they come back with an evasive answer like, “Our sales did not go down”, remember they were selling booze and you are selling Nespresso Pods, Underwear and Mints.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Fella wondered if those fellows running Pennsylvania’s state's Liquor Control Board were that bright to begin with when he learned they spent another $173,000 trying to figure out why winter sales results were so much lower than summer sales results even after they found out that their employees had started locking the doors in winter.

Friday, November 07, 2025

I Know How to Prevent a Government Shutdown from Starting, And If One Somehow Got Started by Accident, I Know How to Get It Shut Down So Quickly History Will Never Know It Got Started Accidently

 

It’s a 3 Step Process but the 1st Step and the 2nd Step are the only ones that count, so forget I said anything about Step 3.

Step 1: Congress Will Not Get Paid for as long as the Shutdown Lasts.

Step 2: Congress Will Not Get Reimbursed for the time that the Shutdown was Shut Down after the Shutdown is over.

Do you see why Step 3 was thrown into the ashbin of history?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella


Monday, November 03, 2025

Are You Wise? If You Are, Heed My Words. What Are My Words? Don’t Dare Go Driving Around Up There!

From the get-go of this Blog Posting I will admit, last month I was not wise because I was Silly. I actually drove around in the Northeast of the Good Ole USofA.

That begs this question, how do those that drive to and from work in the Northeast make it back home alive day after day? 

Said another way...

  • I wonder how many times a year does a Northeastern Driver call into work and say, “I’m terribly sorry but I can’t come in today. I’m afraid to go out there”. 
  • The office says, “What do you mean ‘out there’? What are you afraid of?” 
  • The scaredy cat says, “Them!” 
  • The office says, “Oh, I understand”.

Potholes…

I now believe that every pothole in the Good Ole USofA is in the Northeast. There is a lot of money to be made by a Smartfella who opens a series of Repair Shops named, Alignments "Я" Us

On the other hand, it may be that they are not bothered by potholes. They drive so fast that their tires do not sink into potholes. They just zip over them.

They All Hated Me...

It was quickly obvious to me why every other driver around me was mad at me. It was because I was only going 15 miles per hour over the posted speed limit. If you only drive 15 miles per hour over the posted speed limit, every other driver will blow his horn as he speeds past you, and he will glare at you as he goes by.

State Governments Actually Employ Horn Blowers to Blow Their Horns…

Allow me to explain... 

  • These Horn Blowers are everywhere.
  • I probably can’t prove they are everywhere but in my personal experience I can testify that there was always one of them behind me.
  • The Departments of Transportation equip the Horn Blower’s cars with electronic devices mounted on their dashboards that constantly scan for drivers who dare to think while they drive.

Allow me to explain... 

  • If you are a driver who comes up against a toll booth and for a slit second you get confused and don't know what to do, one of these horn blowing drivers is certain to be behind you and he is certain to angrily blow his angry horn at you because you dared to pause and think what you should do next. 
  • The Rule of the Road up here is...When in Doubt, Smash the Accelerator!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: The mugging is so bad up there that the muggers are offering the mugged half of what they lost in the mugg, if the mugged will walk the mugger safely back home.

Thursday, October 30, 2025

This Happens Every Day Before Your Very Eyes and You Are Paying It No Never Mind


I just watched a segment on TV about how a CEO was upset because his minions were not paying proper attention to him when he was speaking to them. 

Here’s what the CEO was upset about (in Bullet Point Format) …
Recently the CEO was addressing his company’s top 326 executives.
While he was speaking to them, he noticed that many of them were looking at their smartphones.
Worst than looking at their smartphones, they were texting using their smartphones.
He wondered what they were texting about.
He pondered that their texting must be very important, or they would not have dared to be texting while he was talking to them because He Is Very Important and they are not.

Here is what he found out…
>You want to do lunch today?
>Did you see that linebacker drop that sure interception with 10 seconds left in the big game last night that would have been a sure pick six and would have won the game for the chipmunks?
>How do you spell CEO?

He became very mad, and he ordered everyone who was looking at their smartphones while he was talking to be fired and ushered out of the auditorium by security.
After those 312 former executives were removed, he was shocked to see there were only 14 executives left in his audience and 13 of them were sleeping while he was speaking and 1 had forgotten his smartphone at home.

I’m sorry I got so carried away with my Bullet Points that I lapsed into nonsense…Or am I? Or did I?
************
Now for the Everywhere Every Day Truth referred to in the subject of this Blog Posting.
This happens every day on every news show because of the Bottom of the Screen Scroll. Did you just draw a blank and say to yourself, “Self, what’s a Bottom of the Screen Scroll?” My Dear Readers, you see the Bottom of the Screen Scroll every day and you didn’t know what you are looking at. Allow me to explain (in Bullet Point Format) …
How could it happen that all of the TV watchers in the Good Ole USofA had just been told that Toledo, Ohio’s Air Force had just dropped an Atomic Bomb on New York City and killed everyone in New York City but all of the TV watchers did not know that Toledo had just done what it just did?
They did not know what Toledo just did because of the Bottom of the Screen Scroll.
(Oh, I forgot, you don’t know what the Bottom of the Screen Scroll is.)
On all our news shows there is a continuous word scroll that gives us breaking news.
It is an insult to the Very Intelligent and Experienced Expert who had been invited onto the news show to tell us what he knows about the very important subject he is an expert in.
The scroll ensures that the TV watchers are unaware of whatever the Invited Expert is telling them because all of them are reading the Bottom of the Screen Scroll and not listening to the Invited Smart Expert.
In this case the TV watchers were adsorbed by the Bottom of the Screen Scroll which was telling them that Brad Pitt just punched Leonardo DiCaprio in the mouth and broke a tooth in a Bowling Alley because Leonardo had laughed while Brad was about to throw his ball causing him to not make his spare which would have allowed him to break 100.  

My Dear Readers, the above Foolishness is Fella’s way of telling you that he thinks it is Silly to Invite a World Renowned Expert to come on your news show to tell you what he knows and then Scroll Other Important or Unimportant Information to make sure the watcher of your news show is paying little or no attention to what your Invited World Renowned Expert has to say.

Would I kid u?
Smartfella

Friday, October 10, 2025

Can We All Get Along?

In 1992 Rodney King asked, Can We All Get Along? Wherever he was when he asked the question there was Rodney King Rioting in “progress” outside of where he was.

Fella was on the fourth floor of a square office building where he was pursuing his mediocre automotive career. We had a panoramic view of all four points of the compass. When looking out of three of the sides of our building we could see smoke rising from the rioting that was going on in support of Rodney.

It was obvious that we were not all getting along.

Neither is our Congress getting along at this time in our storied history. Our 24-Hour News Cycle (isn’t it awful?) will often tell us that the Hatred in our Congress today has never been worse. Do you think that’s true? This Blog Posting takes no solace in saying that there was at least one time when Congressional Hatred was worse than it is today.

************

Excerpted from Bill O’Reilly’s book entitled, Confronting Evil: Assessing the Worst of the Worst…

Congressman John Quincy Adams is in a rage.

The former President of the United States stands before Congress, slamming his wooden cane against the lectern.

It is the summer of 1842. The House of Representatives is bitterly divided between abolitionists and pro-slavery factions. Two dozen police officers guard the chamber. Most of the legislators are armed with pistols. Some members, like Maine Representative Jonathan Cilley, have been victims of violence.

Adams’s health is failing. The seventy-seven-year-old is bald with dark eyes; prominent gray sideburns line his face. Two decades after being elected president, Adams now represents Massachusetts in Congress. He is thoughtful, disciplined, but above all else, detests slavery.

Adams surveys the chamber with suspicion.

The House has 233 members—all of them White men. Of these men, 112 are Democrats from the South. Half own slaves. Three years earlier, their coalition passed a so-called Gag Rule banning all discussion about the emancipation of Black Americans.

However, John Quincy Adams will not be silent. He believes owning human beings is a violation of God’s law. His father, President John Adams, wanted the institution eliminated in the original drafts of the Constitution. Thomas Jefferson, fearing an open revolt from the southern states, rejected that idea.

Now, Adams is determined to right that wrong.

On the other side of the US Capitol, his nemesis waits quietly in the empty Senate Chamber. The man from South Carolina is a proud White supremacist. He is also Adams’s former vice president.

His name is John C. Calhoun.

The southerner is nervous.

Senator Calhoun waits for news from the House of Representatives. For the first time in two years, his former boss, John Quincy Adams, will violate the Gag Order and introduce another petition to abolish slavery. This cannot happen.

Inside his Capitol Hill office, the sixty-two-year-old Calhoun inhales from a wooden pipe while reclining in his leather chair. Though the temperature inside the room exceeds eighty degrees, the senator wears a heavy dark suit, a woolen waistcoat, and a gray cravat tied around his neck. His wavy black hair runs down to his shoulders. At the same time, hundreds of miles away, Calhoun’s fifty slaves work under the harsh South Carolina sun harvesting corn, wheat, cotton, and rice.

But even worse, his captives are abused. They are publicly flogged, beaten, and sometimes imprisoned in metal cages. Those who try to escape have one foot removed with an axe. The bloody stump is sealed with a smoldering poker to prevent fatal blood loss or future infection. Repeat offenders are hanged on the senator’s orders.

After three decades in politics, John Calhoun is now the most powerful Democrat in Washington. For the last week, he has given blunt instructions to the southern representatives: John Quincy Adams must be defeated.

The House of Representatives falls silent.

The ailing Adams defiantly stands in the center of the room. Though diminished physically, he summons a great breath and issues a defiant cry: “Am I gagged?” The chamber erupts into chaos. The northerners stand, screaming their support, while the southerners on the other side of the hall throw debris into the air.

Adams raises his fist. The room falls silent.

In his opposite hand, he holds a leather-bound notebook containing ten thousand signatures. It is the largest anti-slavery petition in the history of the United States. Again, Adams asks, “Am I gagged?”

Fistfights break out between the politicians. Congressman Henry Wise of Virginia attacks opponents with a metal cane. A pistol is displayed. Edward Black, a member from Georgia, threatens to lynch fellow lawmakers. The cacophony echoes down the halls of Congress.

On the Senate side of the Capitol, John Calhoun smiles.

************

Do you feel better now that you know that our 24-hour nightly news cycle is wrong when it tells us that the members of our Congress hate each other more now than they hated each other in the past?

Actually, both hate periods make Fella nervous about the long-term survival of our Country.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Wednesday, October 08, 2025

Einstein and Fella

 


The NYPD confirmed that this guy I wish to talk about had a long rap sheet of over 30 prior arrests for bank robberies. However, upon appearing in front of this judge I wish to talk about, he was allowed back on the streets on supervised release.

 

Does anyone, including this judge I wish to talk about, know what Supervised Release means? Are you ready for a Fella Calculated Wild Guess? Fella thinks that the supervised released person can go anywhere he wants but he is always followed by a following person with a clip board to record everything he does including bank robberies he chooses to do.

 

Fella contends thinking that releasing someone who has demonstrated a proclivity to do the same illegal thing over 30 times and expecting he won’t do it again is Silly Thinking, especially if he suffers no meaningful bad consequences for doing the same illegal thing over 30 times.

 

I know Fella fairly well and I dare say he would think over 20 times is a good indication of future robberies and the same could be said of over 10 robberies and over 5 robberies and over 2 robberies.

 

There is no evidence that Einstein ever said, “The Definition of Insanity Is Doing the Same Thing Over and Over Again and Expecting Different Results”. However, Fella would speculate that Einstein would probably think this judge I am talking about is Insane.


************


Let us hear from our Judicial System. Here is an actual quotation by a court spokesman…

"It is important to note, however, that the vast majority of bail decisions turn on the court’s discretionary weighing of a broad range of factors in order to make an individualized assessment of the defendant’s risk of flight to avoid prosecution. That assessment involves due consideration of information and arguments presented by the prosecutor and defense counsel, as well as other materials submitted to the court."

 

My Dear Readers, this is Judicial Double Talk. This is an answer given by someone who believes that an answer to a question need only be words spoken in the direction of the questioner and it needs not make any sense.

 

Fella made up question and answer…Or are they made up?

Question: Why was the robber released after he had already committed 30 robberies?

Answer: He was released because he said he was not sorry he had robbed 30 banks, and he also said he was not going to give back any of the money he stole. 

 

Would I kid u? 

Smartfella 

 

Ligniappe: Going back to the Court Spokesman’s Quotation…”defendant’s risk of flight to avoid prosecution”. Fella concurs that there is no Risk of Flight but that’s because there is No Fear of Prosecution.


Sunday, September 14, 2025

We Hold These Truths to Be Self Evident


We Hold These Truths to Be Self Evident...

  • That it is impossible for Democrats and Republicans to like each other...Or is it?
  • That it is impossible for Democrats and Republicans to put aside their differences and cooperate with each other for the good of the country...Or is it?
  • That it is impossible for Democrats and Republicans to tell jokes about each other and not be offended...Or is it?

Finally, here is the most certain never did happen and will never ever happen of happenings...

The President Is a Republican and The Speaker of The House Is a Democrat and the Two of Them Will Actually Be Friends After Working Hours

Click here and be ready to be amazed...

https://www.bing.com/videos/riverview/relatedvideo?q=President+Reagan%27s+Unlikely+Friendship+with+Speaker+Tip+O%27+Neill&refig=68c7669b4cd1428fbc9f82a4ea28c0bd&pc=W099&ru=%2fsearch%3fq%3dPresident%2bReagan%2527s%2bUnlikely%2bFriendship%2bwith%2bSpeaker%2bTip%2bO%2527%2bNeill%26form%3dANNNB1%26refig%3d68c7669b4cd1428fbc9f82a4ea28c0bd%26pc%3dW099&mmscn=vwrc&mid=D77A98DE09C466DBBF0CD77A98DE09C466DBBF0C&FORM=WRVORC&ntb=1&msockid=6b3c07b691d011f0b725f4ee36d6aabe.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Wednesday, September 10, 2025

Stuff You May Have Forgotten

Here are some memories from The Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet Days

(I give you a Fella Permission to Google, “The Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet”)

Do you know what time the movie starts? No, I don’t, and I don’t care what time it starts.

  • Today people who go to movies think you must be there at the time the movie is scheduled to start.
  • If they get messed up and realize they can’t be there for the Start of the Movie, it’s a no-brainer that they must wait for a night when they can be there for the Start of the Movie.
  • This was not the case in the old days.
  • We went to the movies when we went to the movies.
  • I’m not sure if the movie theatres even bothered to publish the Starting Times of the movies.
  • I am sure that, if they did publish the Starting Times, we did not bother to look up the Starting Times because the Starting Times were not important to us.
  • We just went, bought our nickel bag of fresh hot popcorn and sat down.
  • This means this was sure to happen all around us as we watched our movie…People all around us who realized that this is where they had come in would say to each other, “This is where we came in” and they would get up and leave because this was where they had come in.

If I close my eyes and concentrate just a little bit, I can still hear the jingling.

  • Remember coins?
  • Back when I was growing up there were lots of coins in church.
  • The coins made their presence known at collection time as they started jingling all over the church.
  • When the jingling started, we knew it was time to offer up our offering.
  • Those that were sleeping were jingled awake by the sound of the jingling and frantically started reaching into their pockets to get their coins (to prevent them from going to hell).
  • Nowadays we use checks which don’t jingle.
  • Later in life I passed the collection basket and used to chuckle at the those who were afraid to be seen not contributing anything so when the basket came by they would hold a closed hand over the basket and dip their hand down a bit into the basket and open their hand and drop nothing into the basket (these people were sure as hell going to hell).
  • Today there is no jingling noise nor is there concern that people will see you put nothing into the basket because of Online Giving.
  • People who give nothing just smugly sit there with an I Give Online look on their often-lying faces.

What are those handrails for?

  • Do you remember when you used to climb stairs 2 and 3 at a time?
  • As you shot up those steps, do you remember noticing out of the corner of your eye those handrails on either side of you?
  • Do you remember asking yourself, “I wonder what those things are for?”
  • Now you know that they are for grabbing a hold of and pulling your aging body slowly up those same stairs you used to shoot up.
  • They could be called grunt rails because each pull up is accompanied by a grunt. (Yea man, I got carried away with this last bullet…Or did I?)

Would I kid u?

Smartfella