Tuesday, July 17, 2012

One Is Not Disgusting

The other day I was watching What’s His Name finish off What’s His Name at Wimbledon and, when the finishing was done, I left the TV on and went to peck at my laptop. I could still see the TV from where I was pecking and I looked up occasionally.

The first time I looked up I saw there was a commercial on and a guy was very quickly eating a Hot Dog.

I looked up several more times. Each time I looked up that guy was still eating that hot dog. I thought to myself, “Self, that is real long commercial or a real long hot dog”.

Eventually I realized that there was a Hot Dog Eating Contest in progress.

At first I thought, “What’s this doing on my Sports Channel? This is not a sport. Sure they sweat more than those Poker Players (who also do not belong on my Sports Channel) but eating is even less of a sport than playing poker. Eating is a bodily function.

What’s next? If America can sit and watch people eat, how far are we from watching people not eat? It takes a lot more will power to not eat than to eat. People who do not eat are performing a herculean task. Starvation is no piece of cake.

As Captain Kirk likes to say, “This could be big ... Really big”.

Here is where I skillfully tie in the Subject of this Foolishness Posting into the body of the Posting itself...

Once I realized that I was looking at a Hot Dog Eating Contest, I watched intently for about 22 seconds and then I said to myself, “Self, that’s disgusting!” and I turned off my TV.

For some reason I found myself hungry. I went to our refrigerator and was happy to find a new package of turkey hot dogs. I ate one. I only ate one. One Is Not Disgusting.

Would I kid u?