Not Going To Be Opened

I bought it but I may never drink it. If that is the case, why did I buy it?

I bought it because my wife, who just died on August 7th was named Penelope. We did not call her Penelope very often. Instead, she was Penny to us who knew her and those who knew her loved her, especially me.

On there other hand, if any one of my Dear Readers wants to come over and have a sip, I'll make an exception. The liquor store had a good supply. I can buy some more. I've got some money left.

Would I kid u?

StillSadFella 

 

Fella Is Unhappy

Did you just say to yourself, “So what? Why do you need to tell us about your unhappiness? Stick with the Foolishness that has made you world famous.” …Or has it?

I can’t help myself. I got to peck this one out and you will not find a scintilla of foolishness (other than my becoming World Famous above) in it.

I was married to a wonderful lady for 1 day short of 62 and a half years. That lady bore us 4 wonderful children. Those children bore 11 grandchildren and 2 great-grandchildren. That lady made me happy. That lady laughed a lot. That lady even laughed at my jokes. The only time that lady made me unhappy was when she died.

Sadfella ☹

You Wanna Be Happy? … Here’s How.

 

Did you just say to Fella you would be happy to be happy if you could see people who are someway somehow happy and then you would just do what they do and be happy like they are happy.

Fella is here to tell you that you are not paying attention. You see happy people every day (provided you watch TV every day).

I’m talking about TV Commercials! All people in TV Commercials are happy…

• Overweight (used to be known as fat) people are happily dancing down the middle of streets. In that TV Commercial the dancing people are still fat but they are happy because they have been told they are going to be not fat once they take the sponsor’s pills or self-injection shots for a couple of years.
• Even people with cancer are happy because they have been told they are not going to have cancer once they take the sponsor’s pills or self-injection shots for a couple of years.
• People who own dogs are really happy even though they have been told that caring for and maintaining a dog to the age of 14 is going to cost them a whole bunch of money…
  >>>Medical Expenses, Food & Nutrition, Grooming, Equipment & Supplies & Additional Expenses (whatever that is).
  >>> Total Annual Cost for a Medium Dog (26-60 lbs.) is $5,150 X 14 years = $72,100.

Do you get my drift? My drift is…Go Live In A Commercial!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Useless but interesting information…Ever been so mad you tossed someone out a window? In 1618, Prague Protestants did just that—throwing two Catholic officials from a castle window. Their dramatic exit didn’t claim their lives (thanks to manure), but it did launch the catastrophic Thirty Years’ War.

Fella & Justin

My Blog Foolishness...Or Is It? just went over 1 million views!

Fella is pleased to announce that now he has 1,009,800 views!

I was so pumped up I also notified Justin Bieber of my milestone. 

He must have been impressed because he quickly responded right back to me...Or was he impressed?

He responded, "Hey, dude, I get that many in 3 days. It took you decades to get a mere 1,000,000".

After careful analysis of his response, I have decided he was not very impressed.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Notice Anything?

 

I read the minds of 73% of My Dear Readers (that’s you) and here is what I found out…

Ø 19% of you noticed that 54% of the people watching the casket go by were wearing glasses.

Ø 62% of you noticed that that very large man on the left with his forehead cut off was a very large man.

Ø One of you noticed that Elvis was not in the group of people watching the casket go by.

My Dear Readers, those are some great examples of Wasted Noticing. Don’t feel bad. You tried but you are just not as gifted as I am at noticing. I notice important stuff because I am The Noticer.

Here is the Noticing Gem that all of you missed…The Pall Bearers Are Not All The Same Height!

Here is another reason My Dear Readers should not feel bad. Height is not really that important if you are not Chinese. The Chinese know all about height. They obsess over height. Fella knows how they can get so many soldiers who are exactly the same height for their parades and now you are about to know what I know because I am going to tell you what I know.

They Line Up All Their Soldiers Single File And Make Them Walk Under A Correct Height Bar Like We Use In The Good Ole USofA To Keep Trucks From Scraping Their Tops As They Drive Through Parking Decks. The Chinese Carry This Obsession To The Ultimate Extreme Because Those That Are Not The Exact Correct Height Are Shot Dead. When All Is Said And Done (Shot) They Are Left With A Whole Bunch Of Soldiers That Are The Exact Correct Height.

Initially They Tried Cutting Off Enough Of The Heads Of The Ones That Were Too Tall To Make Them The Exact Correct Height But They Figured Out That What Was Left Did Not March Very Well. 

Yea, I made the above Foolishness. Yea, I lied…Again. Yea, I got carried away…Or did I?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe:  Useless information…Kublai Khan owned 5,000 mastiffs!