This all came about over years of watching American children in restaurants eat hardly anything off their plates. It goes like this…
- The plate of cheesed ziti arrives in front of typical American child diner.
- Over the next twenty-three minutes, typical American child diner eats only four ziti, moves twelve other zitis around the plate and waits for dessert.
- During these twenty-three minutes typical American child diner acts concerned while typical American child diner’s parents tell them, if they do not eat their food, there will be no dessert but typical American child diner knows better.
- Dessert arrives.
- Dessert is eaten.
- Doggy box/bag is requested and filled with rearranged ziti.
Another night out with typical American family is concluded. No surprises here but I see a better way. Here is what I have concluded is that better way...
The Bush Administration should go abroad and gather up starving children from every country in the world and bring them to the good ole U.S.of A. One of these children should be assigned to each American child who’s parents make it a practice of taking their little darlings out to dinner more times in a month than my children went out to eat in an entire year. These follower children are to sit patiently behind their assigned typical American child diner and move in to clean up the leftover ziti as soon as dessert has arrived.
This policy means:
- Trees will be saved because of the dramatically reduced demand for doggy boxes/bags (this will require a government subsidy for the makers of said doggy box/bag makers).
- World child hunger will be eliminated.
The only problem with this plan is one that I am sure you have already seen. The sheer volume of leftover typical American child diner food is so large that the follower children will certainly develop an obesity problem. Since this obesity problem was brought upon these, once slim and trim children, by the lack of foresight of the Bush Administration, the U.S Government will be responsible to pay for treatment of the follower children at Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers or whatever. This could cause a tax increase.
Would I kid u?
