Tuesday, January 07, 2014

My Visit To A Big Box Hardware Store

Where Did That Guy Go?

The other day I walked into one of those big box hardware stores and, as usual, was greeted at the door by a smiling welcoming man wearing an apron. He was very nice. He said hello. He asked if there were any directions he could give me.

I declined his helpful offer and walked past him. After I got 5 to 6 steps past the helpful apron guy I remembered what I had come into his store for and realized that I did need his helpful directions. I turned around to seek his assistance and he was gone.

I thought this was strange and I actually began to feel as if I was in the Twilight Zone. I brushed this uneasy feeling away and moved on with my quest.

After a while I realized I was not getting anywhere and I started looking for a helpful guy with an apron on to assist me.

I went to the next aisle and, as I turned into the aisle, I saw at the end of the aisle a helpful guy turning out of my aisle at the end of my aisle.

This happened several times more before I got that Twilight Zone feeling again.

Every aisle I turned into I saw the apron guy turning out of that aisle at the end of that aisle. At this point I started to panic.

I began sprinting as fast as I could but when I got to the end of the aisle and made the turn into the next aisle I repeatedly found myself looking at the back of a turning helpful apron guy at the end of my aisle.

In a state of exhaustion I stumbled out of my Big Box Hardware Store feeling rather befuddled.

I decided to go to Mom & Pop’s Hardware Store to get what I needed but when I got to their store I found they gone out of business.

At this point I just sat in my car screaming a silent scream like Al Pacino did on the steps of that Big Box Church at the end of Godfather III and, in the midst of my silent scream, I heard Rod Serling laughing.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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