Sunday, June 05, 2011

Commercials Talk You Into Buying A Product … Or do they?

These are the words I transcribed from a TV Commercial. I find it hard to believe that anyone would ever take this drug (treats a skin disorder) after watching this commercial and hearing these words.

The truth is the drug company is probably making a fortune…

Zxanita … may lower your ability to fight infection and increase your risk of infections … some serious infections require hospitalization … before starting Zxanita your doctor should test for tuberculosis … Zxanita may increase your risk of cancer … always tell your doctor if you have any sign of infection or if you have had cancer … alert your doctor of new or worsening problems including headaches, seizures, confusion, and vision problems … these may be signs of a rare and fatal brain condition … serious allergic reactions can occur … tell your doctor if you or anyone in your house needs or has recently received a vaccine

Zxanita is my made up name for this product. Even though the bold type above is an exact quote of the words in their TV Advertisement, I am afraid to use the product’s name because they might sue me.

How can I be sued if I am using their words? I do not know but I am not taking any chances. I can just hear their attorney, “He can’t say what we said because people might not buy our product.”

This is like in Dr. Strangelove (1964) where Peter Sellers said, "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here...This is the War Room!" 

To prove to you how far my research goes to make my silly points, I timed the commercial with a stop watch. It was 60 seconds long and 33 seconds were devoted to warning you about the dangers of using Zxanita.

Here is my suggestion for a sales pitch they might use,

Got flaky skin? Use Zxanita. It will sure as hell kill you but you will not have to worry about everyone staring at your skin problems because morticians use great cover-ups.

Would I kid u?

NOTE: Don’t blame me…BlogSpot (Google) is responsible for those ads at the bottom of my blogs.