Wednesday, July 21, 2021

Banking R Us


I just went into my bank to Close Out a CD. The person who processed the closing out asked me, “Did you find a better rate?” I said, “No” and she kept right on processing my Close Out. I guess she had been trained to ask this question but not trained on what to do if she got an answer.

Actually I was going to be moving my money no matter what she could have said because the people who work in this bank know nothing about People and Banking and it has been this way for years.

For example, no one taught them to say, “Hello, how are you today?” They just look at you and wait for you to say something.

For example, if you ask them a question, they turn away from you and get on the phone to someone out in Banking Wonderland and ask them the question you just asked them. I’ll try not to exaggerate but, if you asked them, “What day of the week is it?” I am absolutely certain they would turn away from you and get on the phone to someone out in Banking Wonderland and ask them, “What day of the week is it?” OK, I exaggerated...Or did I?

For example, after telling her that I had not found a better rate, 3-4 minutes later I got curious and said, “What is your rate?” She did not say, “I’ve got that right at my finger tips”. She did not say, “I have the current rates right here on my desk. Our current rate for a CD is XX%”

I know very little about running a bank but I know a lot about Common Sense. I am of a mind to think that any person dealing with customers in a bank should have the latest rates for every kind of service they offer laying on their desks for quick reference in case a customer asks to be serviced.

After I asked what the rate is, she said nothing but she continued looking at her 2 Gigantic Computer Screens. She looked left and right and up and down. She changed computer screens about 4-5 times. Eventually she said, “.15%”. I said, “Give me a check”. She did not seem surprised at my asking for a check but continued to work at getting me a check. At least I think that’s what she was doing because she said nothing to me.

After I got my check I walked to the Credit Union right next door to my Bank and deposited my check into a CD which is going to earn me a whopping .65% for the next 12 months.

By saying “Whopping” I don’t mean to imply that .65% is a Jimma Carter kind of CD Return, but when compared to .15%, it is Whopping.

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Everyone in this bank, except me, was wearing a mask. There was a time when if someone wearing a mask walked into a bank this happened...

Ø Everyone working in the bank dove for the floor.

Ø Everyone who was near a Notify the Police That There Is a Robbery Happening Right Now Button pressed the button.

Ø The button sent out an alarm to every Donut Shop within a 5 mile radius.

Ø Everyone started praying.

In the COVID Age everyone who sees someone walk in with a mask on thinks, “Thank heaven! He’s got a mask on!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella