Stupid Is As Stupid Does/Was/Is

      

There is ongoing discussion today about our Education System. Many are worried that the students of today and not too smart because the Education System is not teaching them to be smart.

The 1980s were a long time ago. Certainly way back then our Education System was still working...Or was it?  

The other day I stumbled across this Interesting but Sad Bit of Trivia...

In the 1980s A&W tried to compete with McDonald’s 1/4 Pounder with their 1/3 Pounder at a lower price but the product failed because the customers thought the 1/4 Pounder was bigger.

In order to not depress you any further, I will end this Blog Posting right here.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: You will probably now accuse me of lying above when I said I was ending this Blog Posting. OK, accuse me of lying because I lied, but he Very Late Plato is visiting with me today and he asked me to impart to you one of the things he was worried about in his day...

"What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?"

Now I’m really worried because I read somewhere that this Plato guy was really smart.

It is probably a good thing that this Plato guy is no longer with us. Every year at Graduation time I can feel his disappointment as he would get all excited about his being invited to give Commencement Addresses. He would get his robes all cleaned and pressed and wait by his Smartphone for the invitations to come pouring in only to read about all the Hollywood Celebrities that where being invited instead of him.

 

It’s A Lot Worse Than You Might Think

 

You see it every day. You see it but you don’t notice it. I notice it because I’m The Noticer.

Have I got your attention? Have I got you confused? I probably got you both. I’m talking about Cell Phones again. Please allow me to explain.

As we amble through Modern Electronic America wherever we look we see people talking on their cell phones...

• Drivers looking at their phones as they drive their cars.
• Passengers in cars (not the drivers) looking at their phones. Think about it. When was the last time you saw a passenger in a car that was not looking down at their phones
• Looking at their phones while walking in the park.
• In coffee shops. Actually in coffee shops they are often looking at a Smartphone and/or a Tablet and/or an (old fashioned) Computer. Many times all 3 at the same time.
• Looking at their phones as they walk. Search on your phone for “People bumping into things while looking at their phones”. Then, if you have nothing else to do, spend the rest of your day looking at what comes up.
• Looking at their phones while exercising on exercise equipment in gyms.
• Catching glimpses of their text messages and texting while getting a hair cut in between snips in barber chairs. Have you noticed how many bad haircuts are out there today? It is very hard to give a good haircut while your customer is texting.

Do you think they are desperately trying to solve the Mid-East Situation? Do you think they are trying to find a Cure for Cancer? Do you think they are Contemplating Great Thoughts? I don’t think they are doing any of these things. I contend they are usually just wasting time.

You think it is a bad thing that they are wasting time? I contend it is a lot more awful silly as you think. There are other people on the other end of their phone conversations, text messages, tweets, etc. who are wasting time back at them.

I got this off the Internet, so you know it is true...

• “There are over 1.6 million driving accidents alone due to smartphones — more than 300,000 injuries, and 11 horrible teen deaths every single day.”
• “There are three types of distracted driving, manual, cognitive, and visual. Using a cell phone, particularly texting while driving, combines all of the risk factors because it requires the driver to turn his mental attention to the device, manipulate it with his hand, and to look at it. The Institute of Industrial Engineers estimated that texting and driving is 20 times more likely to result in an accident than driving while intoxicated.”

Did I just hear you say, This is pretty serious stuff for a Blog called Foolishness...Or Is It?. What’s a matter fa you? Have you never heard of Serious Foolishness?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

.84 Ounces Is A Lot!

If Big Tiny Little, Jr. were still alive he might be able to explain this Blog Posting to us but he ain’t so he can’t but he can still play the piano for us...https://youtu.be/edTBZXy5jIs

This is what is contained in a .84 ounce Millville Chewy Chocolate Chip Food Bar...

Ingredients: Granola (Whole Grain Rolled Oats, Whole Grain Brown Rice, Sugar, Whole Grain Wheat Flakes, High Oleic Granola Oil, Molasses, Enriched Wheat [Wheat Flour, Flour, Niacin, Reduced Iron, Thiamine Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid], Sodium Bicarbonate, Nonfat Dry Milk, Soy Lecithin), Corn Syrup, Semi Sweet Chocolate Drops (Sugar, Chocolate Liquor, Cocoa Butter, Soy Lecithin, Salt, Vanilla Extract), Whole Grain Brown Rice Flour, Sugar, Corn Syrup Solids, Glycerin, Coconut, Palm Oil, Invert Sugar, Contains Less Than 2% Of: Calcium Carbonate, Molasses, Soy Lecithin, Salt, Citric Acid, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Mixed Tocopherols (For Freshness), Caramel Color, Prune Juice Concentrate, Contains: Coconut, Milk, Soy Wheat. (The Chewy People did The Bolding.)

How did they get all that into .84 Ounces of imitation candy?

It is as much of a mystery as all those NBA Basketball Players who say they deserve a Bigger Contract than their Current Gargantuan Contract because they gave 120%. (Fella did the Bolding.)

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Hold Onto Your Wallets!

The Internet wants all our money!

For example, if you want to catch up on recent sports results you can go to ESPN and watch sports clips all day long. There was a time when a commercial would pop up in the beginning of you search and then you could watch clips until you had had your fill. This is not the case any longer. Now you get a commercial before every sports clip. The clips may be was short as 30 seconds but you will have to see a 30 second commercial before you can watch your 30 second clip.

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I just watched a really slick new way to get my money that came to me from the people who use our sadness at the loss of friends and family as an entry into our wallets (here come the bullets).

(I was contacted because I put a comment in a friend’s Book of Memories when he passed away.)

If I sound skeptical, that’s because I am skeptical...

Dear Family and Friends of Peter Fernerk (Yea, Fella is using a fictitious name)...

Ø  Being remembered matters.

Ø  The message you shared in Peter’s Guest Book after his passing was meaningful.

Ø  On the anniversary of Peter’s passing, share another memory or condolence and help others hold Peter a little closer in their hearts as you held him close to yours.

I’m starting to tear up for Peter all over again!

Want to do more to remember Peter than simply Guest Book entry?

Ø On Peter’s anniversary, consider honoring his life and legacy by planting Eco-Friendly Memorial Trees.

Ø Trees will be planted in a forest with the greatest need, at the best suitable time (typically spring or fall), by a team of certified arborists.

Wow! What a great way to honor and remember Peter! He loved trees! When we were kids together I often saw Peter climbing trees.

Your Sympathy Gift includes:

Ø A Digital Certificate, customized with your message, which can be printed for your records or given to the family.

Ø An entry in Peter’s Guest Book, noting your contribution.

Ø A listing in a Memorial Tree Registry, showing that trees were planted in honor of Peter.

Wow! These caring people have thought of everything!

They don’t cost much...(Or do they?)

Ø Buy 10 Memorial Trees and provide oxygen for 40 people annually for only 90.00.

Ø Buy a Cluster of 50 Memorial Trees and provide oxygen for 200 people annually for only $165.00.

Ø Buy a Grove of 100 Memorial Trees and provide oxygen for 400 people annually only $265.00.
>>>Notice how they tug at our wallets by not only remembering Peter but by making us feel guilty if we do not want to also make it possible for other people to breath.

I found myself thinking, even though Peter can no longer breathe, I was certain he would want others to breathe!

Why Plant Trees?

Ø This memorial tree planting will assist in reforestation, improve forest health and area watersheds, and provide a critical habitat for threatened and endangered wildlife.

These compassionate people have thought of everything! This is an offer that is hard to refuse!

The only thing they could have said that they did not say is, “Trees are people too”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

If The United States Goes To War With China Will They Throw Sponges At Us?

 

The answer to the question posed by the Subject of this Blog Posting is... No, they would not throw sponges at us but Sponges may play an important role in such a conflict.

To be more precise, it is not actual Sponges that would play the important role in the conflict. Instead it would be things that are normally Hard as Rocks but Chinese Made Things that would have the Consistency of Sponges. 

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Yea, I know you are confused again. Please allow me to explain...

In the event of war between the United States and China, those military outposts in the western Pacific (the 7 Islands the Chinese have constructed in the South China Sea) would likely be key initial targets for U.S. strikes.

The Economist reported rumors suggest the new islands’ concrete is crumbling and their foundations are turning to sponge in the hostile climate.

And if that would not be enough of a problem for the Chinese, one wonders what would happen if there were to be a direct hit from a Typhoon?

Here are two links that will make you think of Sponges (or Chinese Construction Materials that remind you of Sponges)...

Ø https://nationalinterest.org/blog/buzz/sunk-how-chinas-man-made-islands-are-falling-apart-and-sinking-ocean-132047

Ø https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=W28VRBiLx9s

I don’t want to over-dramatize but do you remember that condo that collapsed in South Florida? If the Chinese built all the building in South Florida, we might have seen a different headline than what we did see...

Headline we saw: “South Florida Building Collapses”.

Headline we might have seen: “South Florida Collapses”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Women All Over The World Are Dying

 

A Vaccinated Woman has identified as a Vaccinated Man. We are all told that we must all accept His wishes and address Him as a Him (or whatever other pronoun He tells us to use).

A Terrible Glitch has been discovered in the Vaccine the Now Man received 88 Days Ago. The Medical Community announces that the Vaccine that the Now Man received 88 Days Ago becomes fatal to all Women who have been vaccinated with it exactly 90 days after the Vaccine was administered.

The good news is an Antidote to the 90 Days Woman Death Syndrome has been developed and a Worldwide Emergency Inoculation Program has begun.

The question of the day is...

Will the Man who used to be a Women rush to an Emergency Inoculation Place to get the Antidote Tomorrow?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

This Is the Most Boring Job in the World

 

Costco and COVID19 combined to make Silly happen during the Pandemic...

Ø Every day Costco makes it a practice to give away samples of food products they sell.

Ø Costco employees are assigned to prepare the samples, put them into little plastic cups and place the samples onto a tray for the customers to pick up and eat.

Ø The customers are then supposed to love what they have eaten and buy a large quantity of what they have eaten (Costco only sells large quantities).

Ø Many customers make it a practice of moving from one Tasting Table to the next Tasting Table to the next Tasting Table.

Ø Some of them returned to the same Tasting Table over and over, which I’m sure is a Violation of the Rules in the Costco Customer Grazing Manuel.

Ø I’ve even seen customers doing tricky things like removing their hats and cramming them into their pockets so as not to get caught double or triple sampling by the Costco Table Monitor.

Here’s where the Boring came into play...

Ø During the Pandemic a plastic shield was placed in front of the samples of food and customers were allowed to look at the Tasty Sample Foods but they were not allowed to eat the Tasty Sample Foods.

Ø The Costco Table Monitor was not allowed to go in the Break Room and drink cocktails with little umbrellas in them.

Ø They had to stand behind the Plastic Shielded Sample Foods and do nothing.

Ø They had nothing to do all day but stand there and look at the Plastic Shielded Sample Foods and look at the Customers looking at the Plastic Shielded Sample Foods.

Here’s where the Silly came into play...

Ø As the Pandemic was drawing down to a lower degree of crazy, the Sample Foods were again made touchable by the hungry customers.

Ø The Sample Foods were touchable again but a sign was placed on the table that told the customers, that Due To COVID19, they were not allowed to eat the Sample Food until they were Outside the Costco Store.

Ø I did not see a single customer take some Sample Food who ran out of the store to eat the Sample Food so they could return to the store and move on to the next Sample Food Table to get another Sample Food so they could run out of the store to eat the Sample Food and so on and so forth.

This sign was a Silly Sign. If the Run Out Of The Store Requirement had been a Federal Law, it would have been the most violated Federal Law since Prohibition.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Double Talk About Double Jeopardy

Here is where the confusion starts...

Fifth Amendment:

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

(Fella did the underlining.)

I recommend an asterisk be placed after the word “limb” followed by this disclaimer, “Just kidding”.

There are many of my Dear Readers who are lawyers but that does not negate my right to my own Stupid (or is it?) Opinion about the Law of Our Land.

There are Strong Opinions out there about Kyle Rittenhouse and what did or did not happen during the Kenosha Rioting of 2020. I have my own Strong Opinion about it all but I am not doing this Blog Posting to discuss that with you. I want to appeal to Common Sense and Fairness and address a You Gotta Be Kidding Aspect of the Law of Our Land.

Put yourself into the middle of all of this and ask yourself to think about how you would feel if you were treated this way by the Law of Our Land (here come the bullet points)...

Ø You have just been through the legal wringer of what we call the Justice System for 15 months.

Ø You have been tried and found Not Guilty On All Counts.

Ø It is hard to describe how relieved you are.

Ø You are making plans about how you are going to go about getting back to a normal life when you see a Brilliant Former Prosecutor on TV explain in excruciating detail how you might again be Put On Trail to again defend yourself against all the Same Charges you have just been found Not Guilty On All Counts.

>>>Have you ever noticed that all TV “Experts” are Former This and Former That? It looks to me like you can’t be hired to the position of TV Expert unless you are Unemployed.

Ø You say to yourself, “Self, that is Double Jeopardy! I’ve seen many a TV Show about Double Jeopardy. I know Double Jeopardy when I see Double Jeopardy and this looks like Double Jeopardy to me!”

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The TV “Expert” said there are two ways in which Rittenhouse could be Re-Tried on the Same Exact Charges that he had just been found Not Guilty On All Counts...

Ø He could be tried in Civil Court. It may be Legally Civil but to us who don’t know what we are talking about it does not look like a Civil Thing to do to someone who has just been found Not Guilty On All Counts.

Ø There is something in the law called the Dual Sovereignty Doctrine. If you want to read all about it, click here and have at it... https://constitution.congress.gov/browse/essay/amdt5-2-1-2-2/ALDE_00000859/ but here is a key excerpt from the link...

“We have here two sovereignties, deriving power from different sources, capable of dealing with the same subject-matter within the same territory. . . . Each government in determining what shall be an offense against its peace and dignity is exercising its own sovereignty, not that of the other.”

The more I read through the above link the more I became confused. I guess that’s why we have lawyers. They step in and take the place of our Mothers who could always stop us dead in our objections by simply saying, “Because I said so”. Our lawyers end our confusion by saying, “Because the law says so!”

In the 3^rd paragraph above I asked you to put yourself in the middle of all of this. Are you still there? When the lawyer told you “Because the law says so” he simply told you How the Cow Ate the Cabbage. Do you feel better?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Confused about my use of How the Cow Ate the Cabbage? Let the online Free Dictionary by Farlex explain it to you...

“The unadulterated truth about something; the way something really is. Said especially of a truth that someone does not want to hear or acknowledge.”

After having this Idiom explained to him, surely the Not-Guilty Guy (who is going back into court to do it all over again) must feel a lot better...Or does he?

The Exact Right Words

 

If you are like me, you think of the Exact Right Words after the event where you could have used the Exact Right Words is long gone. David Niven did not have that problem. His words were Exactly Right...

Robert Opel’s Streaking

Robert Opel was a photographer for the LGBT magazine The Advocate and much to everyone’s surprise, it was the 46th Academy Award ceremony (1974) when he made a name for himself by wearing nothing at all and streaking behind actor David Niven while he was hosting.

David Niven smartly remarked:

“Well, ladies and gentlemen, that was almost bound to happen… But isn’t it fascinating to think that probably the only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings?”

Didya say you wanted to see a Video?

https://youtu.be/2IIl3zSYL8k

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Supply Chain Shortages

I started to make the Subject of this Blog Posting, "Understanding Supply Chain Shortages" but we all know that is Foolishness.

Here are some of the things we can’ get enough of because of Supply Chain Shortages...Oxygen for Medical Use, Workers, Chlorine, Corn, Juice, Juice Boxes (for the Juice we can’t get), Cars, Coffee, Computer Chips, Jet Fuel, Nike Shoes, School Supplies, Taco Bell has reported they are experiencing a National Ingredient Shortage (there’s a broad brush if I have ever seen one) and that old standby Etcetera, Etcetera, Etcetera.

https://youtu.be/1JHH6iwgIek

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Here’s a shortage that only I am reporting on (What would you do without me?)...

For years I have supplied Jingle Bells to fellow tennis players to hang on their clothing so that they can Jingle All The Way while they play tennis from December 1st until the last day we play before Christmas. It is hard to believe but some players refuse the use of my bells because they think I am being Silly.

What? Me Silly?

I just bought 18 new bells from a Dollar Store to replenish my Loaner Bell Supply. (Some of my fellow tennis players must be using the Bells and forgetting to return them to my Loaner Bell Box before they leave the courts or they are throwing them into the bushes when I’m not looking.)

I was horrified to find out that 13 of the 18 new bells I just bought did not have the little clackers inside. Oh my gosh! There is a Clacker Shortage Out There!

Does that new Federal Agency in Washington, D.C, (Bureau of Tabulating Things We Don’t Have Any More) know we are becoming more Clackerless with each passing day?

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This new Agency (which does not do anything about the shortages but just Tabulates the Shortages) is growing rapidly or at least it was growing rapidly. The Agency is now experiencing its own Labor Shortage. In 2 months of existence it had grown to more than 10,000 Tabulators. Now their growth spiral had slowed dramatically as more and more Qualified Tabulators have discovered they can make more on Welfare than they can make Tabulating at the Agency’s Palatial New Tabulation Headquarters in D.C. One of their early hires was quoted in the New York Times saying, “I can do nothing in the comfort of my own living room. Why should I travel all the way into the heart of Washington, D.C. to do nothing there?”

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From Fella’s Figure This One Out Department...

This from Cracker Barrel’s Web Site... "We apologize for the inconvenience as we are temporarily out of Hashbrown Casserole due to supply chain shortages. Please note that Hashbrown Casserole is not available as a side item option when placing your online order. We appreciate your patience as we work to make it available as soon as possible".

We will never figure this one out! Hashbrowns are too complicated. What ingredient is in short supply? Is it Unsalted Butter? or is it Frozen Shredded Hash Brown Potatoes? or is it Sharp Yellow Cheddar Cheese? or is it Sour Cream? or is it Garnish? or is it Yellow Onions or is it Eggs? or is it Sweet Paprika? or is it Cayenne? or is it Chopped Fresh Chives? or is it Kosher Salt? or is it Freshly Ground Black Pepper?

This is awful! Someone has to get their Bureaucratic Arms around this Quandary!

I know what we need do! We need a New Federal Agency! ... Or do we?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella