Nothing For Sale

In case you have forgotten I Am The Noticer. I notice things that go on around me that the other people do not notice going on around them. It’s a gift...Or is it.

Here is what I am noticing today...

We are surrounded by Nothingness. We pay good money for products that have nothing in them. Why do we do that? Why do we look at the ingredients in products and see all that is not there and say,

“Wow! That’s Great! What a bargain this is!”?

Here are the kinds of missing things that get us all excited because they are missing...

Ø No Antibiotics

Ø No Artificial Flavors

Ø No Cholesterol

Ø No Comedogenic

Ø No Dyes

Ø No Formaldehyde

Ø No Fragrance

Ø No Gluten

Ø No GMO

Ø No Lanolin

Ø No Masking Fragrance

Ø No MSG

Ø No MSG Added

Ø No Nuts

Ø No Parabens

Ø No Preservatives

Ø No Propellant

Ø No Saturated Fats

Ø No Soap

Ø No Sodium

Ø No Sugar

Why do we have to pay for these products? There is nothing in these products to pay for!

************

Here is a commentary that is almost related to my Foolishness above.

Those of you who have been reading my Foolishness for awhile have heard me say this...

70% of Americans are on a Gluten Free Diet and 80% of that 70% Do Not Know What Gluten Is

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Internet Security is woeing me a lot! This craziness below probably took about 2 hours of my time one day recently and it involved my Amazon Account...

Ø The number of times I have gotten into my Amazon Account is a whopping big number.

Ø I know how to get in because it is easy...Or it used to be.

Ø That awful day I could not get into Amazon Account! 

Ø I know from experience that Amazon likes for me to get into it because I often leave money in Amazon’s Big Pockets before I get out.

Ø The hitch in my Get In Get Along was Amazon kept promising to send me a Text Message so I could verify who I was.

Ø I still am the person who got in all those other times but this time Amazon was concerned that I might not be who I was all those other times when I was me.

Ø They call this Two-Step Verification.

Ø I used to think Two-Step Verification was a necessary Security Hoop but now I am not so sure.

Ø I repeatedly asked for the Verification Text to be sent to me.

Ø Amazon repeatedly said they had sent Verification Texts to me but I never got any of them. 

Ø I had my wife send me a Text Message to make sure I could get a Text Message and I got her text with no problem.

Ø I called them on my phone twice.

Ø I was put on hold by the first representative I talked to, and while I was on hold, she must have gone on break and forgot she had left me on hold or she knew I was on hold but she wanted to see how long I would stay on hold before I hung up.

Ø I hung up.

Ø After I hung up the Rep Who Would Not Come Back sent me a “helpful” message that contained 624 Words and 9 Different Links.

It’s at times like these that I wonder if the Internet is worth all the time spent on doing what it dictates we do.

Ø I did not even bother to read her "helpful" text because it would have made me feel helpless to get that much help.

Ø On the second call the representative told me I had been Locked Out of My Account.

Ø I asked why it had been Locked Out of My Account but she did not seem to know why.

Ø I asked why Amazon had not told me I had been Locked Out of My Account (instead of just being confronted by a screen that did nothing) and again she did not seem to know why.

What a waste of time! If I wanted to waste my time I could have written a paper about how to solve the Middle East Situation. That would be a waste of time because no one in the Middle East, the Far East, the Near East or Toledo would read it.

Maybe Amazon does not want any more of my money but that can’t possibly be because every so often I get a Pop Up from Amazon that asks, “If you have money left, Click Here”.

************

Speaking of the Middle East Situation I can wrap up this Blog Posting by telling all of  you why the Middle East Situation will never be resolved...

Ø One day I was sitting in a Coffee Shop in the Middle East drinking coffee with a friend who was of the Middle Eastern Extraction.

Ø My friend said to me, “You see that man drinking his coffee over by that potted plant? I hate him with every fiber of my being and someday I will kill him and his entire family!”

Ø I said to my friend, “Why do you feel that way? He looks like a nice guy. He is dressed the same way you dress. He even looks like he could be your brother.”

Ø My friend said to me, “You don’t understand because you don’t know what his ancestors did to my ancestors in the year 1277!”

Ø I said to my friend, “Now I understand”...Or did I?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Does it not seem like Members of our 9% Approval Rating Congress are unable to become firmly fixed in their long-held positions on any subject until the opposition has stated what their long-held positions are?

It does not matter that the position taken makes sense or not. The important thing is a counter position must be put into the Congressional Record. In the future, if someone reads the Congressional Record and then says, “That does not make any sense”, and if the person who hears those words is a seasoned Congressional Observer, he will say, “What’s your point?”

Ø If one side says that Apple Pie is great, the other side would counter that apples have that hard little stem thingy sticking out of them that could get caught in a Crawling Age American’s throat and cause him to choke.

Ø If one side says Cute Little Puppies are really Cute, the other side would look shocked and dismayed that their side would take such a reckless position because everyone knows that Cute Little Puppies poop a lot and that stuff gets on the bottom of your shoes and makes a mess.

Ø If Senator Foghorn accuses Senator Whiplash’s side the aisle of always being automatically against anything proposed by his side of the aisle. On the other side Senator Whiplash would look horrified and he would counter that he thinks his esteemed colleague on the other side of the aisle has completely lost it. As proof of this he would point out that only yesterday he and his colleges on his side of the aisle voted unanimously with the Senator Foghorn’s side of the aisle against that crazy proposal from crazy Senator Teatoddler which would have Outlawed Happy Hour.

************

If Fella had his way our 9% Approval Rated Congress be required to take this Fella Test...

Ø One side would listen to the other side take a position.

Ø Then the other side would listen to the one side take the opposite position.

Ø Then we would have the Federal Department of Making People Forget What They Just Said zap their Recollection Thingamajigs and make them go blank so they can’t remember the positions they have just taken.

Ø Then Fella would bribe a member of one side or the other to propose the complete opposite position of the argument on which they just finished firmly embracing as their long-held belief before they were zapped.

Ø I bet you dollars to donuts that the opposite side would take the opposite position (without being bribed) to the position they just had just said was their position before their Recollection Thingamajigs were made it go blank.

I worked very hard to make sure this Blog Posting was not confusing. Aren't you glad I did?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Senator Duck (also known as Daffy) said this on the floor of the Senate a few moments ago...”I just over heard my good friend on the other side of the aisle call me a Yes Man when it comes to anything the leader of my party proposes. In the strongest terms I object to this characterization! Why only yesterday my Leader said No and did you not hear me say No immediately after he said No! Now I ask you does that sound like something a Yes Man would say?”

Thank Heaven, Contrary To What Many People Say, Men and Women Are Different!

Many today are concerned about Male Female Equality. Fella’s problem with these people is they fear that if they admit Men and Women are different then they are admitting they are not equal. Since it is Christmas Time Fella says...

There was a time when...

Ø Men stood up when a lady came into the room.

Ø Men opened the door for a lady.

Ø  Men said, “Yes, ma’am”. (I still do.)
> By the 1800s, yes ma’am was well-established in the US as a polite affirmation, particularly expected of younger children when questioned by mothers, schoolteachers, or other older female authority figures. The expression has become especially associated with the English of the South or American West, where it in many instances became shortened to yes’m.

Men used to offer their seat to a lady on a bus or a train. Did men offer their seats to ladies because they thought ladies were inferior or too weak to stand up all by themselves? No, it was a sign of respect. It was just plain being nice (remember nice?).

I do remember feeling a bit ashamed because some other man had offered his seat before I offered my seat and hoped no one noticed me sitting there feeling small.

************

OK, enough of the Fella Blog Warm-up. Let’s find out what the Internet says...

From a site named www.fascinate.com comes more than you or I want to read about 45 Scientific Facts About Differences Between Men and Women. I’ll leave it up to you to read all you want but I will post the 45^th one, the 22^nd one (half of 45 almost) and the 1^st one...

Ø 45^th... A recent study in the Biology Letters suggests that men have an enhanced ability to judge someone’s size by the sound of their voice.

Ø 22^nd... As men and women age, men tend to have more difficulty hearing high-pitched sounds (consonants), while women struggle with low-pitch sounds (vowels).

Ø 1^st ... While Men have physically larger brains than women, size does not directly correlate with intelligence. What’s learned by experience or study helps forge neuronal connections, which in turn determines intelligence.

Do the 3 samples make you want to go to https://www.factinate.com/things/45-scientific-facts-differences-men-women/ and read all about it 

and skip watching football? As for me, reading all 45 is more than my larger but more inferior brain can handle.

There are, however, signs that TV Football may be overplaying its hand because I did fall asleep during Saturday night’s game. This picture is not me but you get the point... 

Fella Alert: Do you hunger for something else to worry about? Click here so you can worry about Early Death: https://nypost.com/2022/06/28/falling-asleep-with-the-tv-on-could-bring-early-death-study/. That ought to do it.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Trust me on this one...The Biology Letters link referenced above probably is beyond the grasp of you and I (at least during Football Season). A good example is: Variation in symbiont density is linked to changes in constitutive immunity in the facultatively symbiotic coral, Astrangia poculata .

Lagniappe Another: I don’t know what the picture below has to do with any of this I simply got a chuckle out of it. I wonder how many of you out there are offended because I did not find a picture of a woman standing in front of the blackboard.

Ah Ha! I See The Mistake!

Was This Not Illegal?

There was a time when we put people in jail for making their own Liquor. Now we can go Online and buy nifty machines to make what we used to could not make.

George's Barley & Hops Brewing Channel

George's guide to Stills for beginners, designed to help those interested in understanding the basic concepts of Stills.

Double-chamber design

This design allows to keep the flavor like the pot still and achieve the effect of double distillation in a single run. The small but powerful condenser allows running speed up to 2 quarts/hour - makes your stripping run a breeze. Very compact design, all stainless steel - easy to clean unlike copper stills. Every still kit is complete and ready to run.

https://www.speakeasydistillers.com/

Is this a great Country or What!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Have Turned Into A Scaredy-Cat

I was never this way. I am now afraid and I used to be brave or at least I was oblivious to the dangers around me.

String Trimmer Edger Tool

Battery & Charger

The 2 pictures above are what have made me so timid...

Ø I was so pleased with myself.

Ø I bought a Rechargeable Battery Powered String Trimmer Edger.

Ø This is the first big tool I have owned that is Rechargeable Battery Powered.

Ø I was turned into a Scaredy Cat because of the Operator's Manual that came with my String Trimmer Edger. The scary stuff started when I started to read the Operator's Manual's Important Safety Instructions.

There were 50 Bullet Point Warnings that warned me about:

Ø Serious Personal Injuries.

Ø Eye Injury Possibilities (I was told to flush with water for 10 minutes if I got some yucky stuff in my eye).

Ø I was warned to Dress Properly -- “Use of rubber gloves and substantial footwear is recommended when working outdoors. Wear heavy, long pants, long sleeves, boots and gloves. Do not wear loose fitting clothing or jewelry they can be caught in moving parts. Secure long hair above shoulder level to prevent entanglement in moving parts.”...
>I imagined my behind neighbor looking down and seeing me doing my edging and saying to his wife, “Come over here, Hazel, Herman Munster is edging Fella’s back yard”.

Ø Electric Shock.

Ø Loss of Balance.

Ø The word “Dangerous” was used a lot...
>So was the word “Hazard”
>Fire was mentioned often
>I shivered when I saw “Toxic” jump out at me
>Explosion really got my attention
>Last but not least even the word “Death” made several appearances

Ø I was warned to have my wife at the ready to call for Immediate Medical Attention.

Ø The last Important Safety Instruction warned me that I am responsible for my fellow man...“Save these instructions. Refer to them frequently and use them to instruct others who may use this power tool. If you loan someone this power tool, loan them these instructions also.”

Ø I imagined being brought to trial after someone who borrowed my String Trimmer Edger was injured while using it...
>I could hear the opposition attorney making his case about how terrible a person I was, “Your honor, I know that the point has been made by my opposing attorney that Careless Fella did tell my Severely Injured Client to be very careful when using his String Trimmer Edger but it is unconscionable on Fella’s part that he did not tell my Severely Injured Client to be very very careful when using his Very Very Dangerous String Trimmer Edger. I think it is obvious that Careless Fella was grossly negligent when he left off the second “Very”!

************

There are only a total of 9 pages in my Operator Manual Booklet. Four of the pages contain 19 Warning Boxes, 1 Caution Box and 2 Notice Boxes.

Ø 18 of the 19 Warning Boxes warned of Serious Injury.

Ø 1 of the 19 Warning Boxes warned about Hazards.

Ø The Caution Box told me to watch out for Pinching.

Ø Even the 2 Notice Boxes filled me Trepidation as I read them.

************

I was fortunate that it rained the first 2 days I had my new tool because I was afraid to touch it. I just left it on the floor in our Living Room and I walked around it carefully hoping it would not see me going by.

By the time the rain stopped I had gotten up enough courage to pick it up and take it into my back yard and do some trimming and I am relieved to tell you I Did Not Die.

However, I can feel the tension building up inside of me because I know what I have trimmed is growing as I peck this Blog Posting and I will one day have to go back out there.

Next time I buy something it will be Toothpicks because the Owners Manual that comes with them has only 35 Safety Instructions and 12 Warning Boxes.    

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: I forgot to mention there is additional documentation for the Battery and another for the Charger. Yes they are also full of Important Safety Instructions, Dire Warnings, Notices, Cautions, Safety Rules and Threats.

You Don’t Have To Know Everything

If the Wall Street Journal offers you this opportunity, Want to Stay informed? Subscribe to Our Notifications and Stay In The Know About Everything. Fella says you should say, No! I Want To Know Nothing! 

The Wall Street Journal is not the only one that wants to fill up your entire day. It is the example that just jumped in front of me and prompted me to warn you to be careful about what you sign up for.

They mean well...Or do they? I was just clicking around on my computer and all of a sudden I was looking at the WSJ’s Newsletters & Alerts Offerings. If I had said OK to every one of them I would have covered my days up with more information than I could handle for a long time to come until I figured out how to get out from under their Information Avalanche. You can bet your sweet bippy it would not be easy figure out how to get out. 

Be Afraid...Be Very Afraid

Here is an list of what the WSJ offered to me. Don’t be afraid of me like I have warned you to be afraid of them. Just skim through the list and remember, Don’t Subscribe To Anything especially when you are given the opportunity to Subscribe to Everything and then you can get back to reading about Football and the Midterm Elections.

Here is the list. Remember To Skim!...

The 10-Point.

A personal, guided tour to the best scoops and stories every day in The Wall Street Journal.

What’s News

Catch up on the headlines, understand the news and make better decisions, free in your inbox every day.

Markets

A pre-markets primer packed with news, trends and ideas. Plus, up-to-the-minute market data.

The Future of Everything

A look at how innovation and technology are transforming the way we live, work and play.

Capital Journal

Scoops, analysis and insights driving Washington from the WSJ's D.C. bureau.

Real Time Economics

The latest economic news, analysis and data curated weekdays by WSJ's Jeffrey Sparshott.

The Intelligent Investor

Jason Zweig writes about investment strategy and how to think about money.

WSJ Crypto

Smart and accessible crypto market analysis for investors.

Heard on the Street

Agenda-setting analysis and commentary on the biggest corporate and market stories.

Wealth Adviser

A daily summary of news and insights for financial pros.

WSJ Climate & Energy

A weekly must-read of news, analysis and exclusive data focused on the intersection of business, money and climate.

Technology

A weekly digest of tech reviews, headlines, columns and your questions answered by WSJ's Personal Tech gurus.

Tech Things With Joanna Stern

Everything is now a tech thing. Columnist Joanna Stern is your guide, giving analysis and answering your questions about our always-connected world.

Family + Tech

Columnist Julie Jargon, a mother of three, helps families find answers and address concerns about the ways technology is impacting their lives.

Grapevine

A weekly look at our most colorful, thought-provoking and original feature stories on the business of life.

WSJ. Magazine

A weekly roundup of fashion, entertainment, design, food, travel, art, architecture and more.

Careers & Leadership

Get ahead and stay informed about careers, business, management and leadership.

Diversity + Business

An insightful weekly view of how diversity is changing the landscape of business with new company policies, workplace trends and redefined missions.

Women In

A special newsletter inspired by WSJ’s Women In series, with good reads, inspiring ideas and opportunities to connect with other women business leaders.

Real Estate

From aspirational residences to major commercial deals.

Sports

A curated weekly tour of WSJ's unique take on the sports world including news and features.

WSJ Networking Challenge

A five-week challenge from the WSJ careers and work team designed to boost your network and make the connections that matter.

WSJ Investing Challenge

A five-part course from WSJ columnists to introduce you to the basics of investing, delivered to your email inbox.

WSJ Money Challenge

A six-week course designed by the WSJ personal finance team to help you improve your knowledge of your finances, delivered to your email inbox.

WSJ Fitness Challenge

A six-week program of exercises designed by an NBA sports performance coach for all skill levels that can be done almost anywhere, and delivered to your email inbox.

In Today's Paper

A complete list, with links, of every article from the day's Journal.

Today's Print Edition

Your daily print edition of the Wall Street Journal

WSJ | CMO Today

CMO Today delivers the most important news of the day for media and marketing professionals.

WSJ | CFO Journal

The Morning Ledger provides daily news and insights on corporate finance from the CFO Journal team.

WSJ | CIO Journal

The Morning Download delivers daily insights and news on business technology from the CIO Journal team.

WSJ | Risk and Compliance Journal

Our Morning Risk Report features insights and news on governance, risk and compliance.

The Logistics Report

Top news and in-depth analysis on the world of logistics, from supply chain to transport and technology.

The Workplace Report

A weekly dive into return to office, diversity and inclusion, and labor trends important to HR executives and other corporate decision makers.

WSJ PRO

Sustainable Business

A weekly look at environmental, social and governance issues and strategies for corporate decision makers.

Cybersecurity

Cybersecurity news, analysis and insights from WSJ's global team of reporters and editors.

Central Banking

Central banking news, analysis and insights from WSJ's global team of reporters and editors.

Venture Capital

Venture Capital news, analysis and insights from WSJ's global team of reporters and editors.

Private Equity

Private Equity news, analysis and insights from WSJ's global team of reporters and editors.

Bankruptcy

Bankruptcy news, analysis and insights from WSJ's global team of reporters and editors.

Best of the Web

James Freeman of the Journal editorial board comments on the news of the day.

Morning Editorial Report

All the day's Opinion headlines.

Books

Be the first to find out what's new and what's good. Get the weekend book reviews before the weekend.

Buy Side from WSJ

A weekly update with new product finds and recommendations. Buy Side from WSJ is a separate team from the WSJ newsroom.

Wall Street Journal New Features and Product Highlights

Receive The Wall Street Journal new features and product highlights. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Dow Jones Updates and Special Offers

Receive updates and special offers from Dow Jones and affiliates, including The Wall Street Journal and Barron's. You can unsubscribe at any time.

News

Major world and business news, including political events, takeovers.

Deals

Major news in the world of deals and deal-makers.

Markets

Major financial-market and trading news.

Politics

Major political news, from campaigns to the Capitol.

Technology

Major news in the technology sector.

Heard on the Street

The first word on what Wall Street is talking about.

Energy

Select breaking and enterprise stories about energy markets and businesses, through news alerts delivered to you via email.

Education

Select coverage from the WSJ's education bureau on the state of schools and learning, curated by bureau chief Chastity Pratt and sent to you via email.

Puzzles

Sign up to receive email alerts when a new puzzle is available.

On Wine

Lettie Teague provides incisive criticism and accessible advice on the world of wine.

Personal Finance

The latest news on how to manage your money.

Personal Technology

Joanna Stern and the rest of the Personal Technology team review new products and technologies.

Amazon

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Facebook

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Goldman Sachs

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Tesla

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GE

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************

As you may remember I refer to my blogging as Mind Wandering. Let your Mind Wander with me for a few moments more. If the WSJ’s List of Distractions and Interruptions had been around in years past, great things would not have happened because the make-it-happen people back then would have been too busy to make the things happen. They would have been Notified and Interrupted and Distracted and Bewitched Bothered and Bewildered but they would Not Have Been Productive.

Ø Iron Lungs would be all over the Fruited Plain because Dr. Jonas Salk would never have come up with his Salk Polio Vaccine... 

Fella Question of the Day: The Salk Polio Vaccine prevented you from getting Polio. The Vaccine did not cure Polio in people who already had Polio. Did you ever wonder what happened to all those thousands of people already in Iron Lungs? Did they really spend the rest of their lives in those things? I guess they did. Here is an amazing story of one that did...

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/texas-man-lives-70-years-in-an-iron-lung-i-never-gave-up-180979008/

Ø We would all be tangled up in the strings between 2 spinach cans as we tried to communicate with each other because Alexander Graham Bell would not have been able to concentrate on inventing the Telephone. 

Ø We would all be sitting around our dimly lit family rooms trying to read books made out of paper because Steve Jobs had been too distracted to invent his Smartphone  and Thomas Edison would have been too flabbergasted to invent his Light Bulb .

At this point I am tempted to launch into an extended apology for the length of this Blog Posting but I am certain you have had enough of me so I’ll simply say, Please Forgive Me!

Oh yea, don’t forget to not sign up for nunin (Yea, I know that’s a misspelled double negative).

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Yea, It’s COVID’s Fault...Everything Is COVID’s Fault

Recently I went into a Doctor’s Office on and found that COVID is gone but still it's there.

No one was wearing a mask. When I looked at the Free Coffee Machine I could almost hear a meeting back in the panic stricken COVID Days attended by all the doctors and the lady who was responsible for making sure the incoming patients would always find Free Coffee when they came into the Waiting Room to wait...

"OK, Guys, we gotta cut expenses. I propose we stop spending money on Free Coffee in the waiting room and blame it on COVID."

The vote was unanimous and the Coffee Lady, who had been on her knees begging for this vote outcome actually let out a yelp and did a back flip from her knees to a standing position. (I don’t think I have ever heard of this kind of back flip even on the Wide World of Sports.)

Picture Taken 10/31/22

Another sign that the Pandemic Is Done is the fact that the Sanitizer Dispensing Machines are still all over the Doctor’s Office but they are Out Of Juice.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Happiest Places

 

The Football “Hero” has just been named the Most Valuable Player in the Super Bowl and he has just been asked where he is going to go to enjoy himself being himself. Is there any doubt what his answer is going to be? If you have watched the prior Super Bowl and the prior and the prior you know what his answer is going to be...

“I’m Going To Disneyland!”

He gave that answer because he was paid a lot of money to give that answer and because everyone knows Disneyland is the Happiest Place on Earth...Or is it?

Fella is here to tell you there are other Happy Places where you can be Happier than Disneyland...

Ø Happy Commercial People...No matter how dire their circumstance or the diseases they are suffering through the people in TV Commercials are portrayed as Happy People. If they are not happy at the start of the Commercial they are certainly happy at the end of the commercial after they have been shot with, swallowed or fondled the sponsor’s product.  

Ø Exercise Bikes...Riding one of those Torture Machines cannot be a happy place to be but all these sweaty people are always shown as Smiling Happy People being happy while they are trying to keep their hearts from attacking them.

Ø The Balcony above the New York Stock Exchange...At the Closing Bell this overlook is always populated with Delirious Happy People clapping as fast as they can clap. The trading day they are celebrating may have been the worst day in the history of the Exchange and dirt poor investors are bouncing off of taxi cabs all over New York City but it makes no never mind to the Happy Balcony People because they are having a great time.

This guy below may be happy but knowing he is out there in the world is frightening to Fella. As long as he has that thing wrapped around his neck he is happy but you can be certain Fella will pull over and let him drive past me every time I see him in my rear view mirror wearing his Happy Head Gear...

Would I kid u?

Smartfella