I Have Turned Into A Scaredy-Cat

I was never this way. I am now afraid and I used to be brave or at least I was oblivious to the dangers around me.

String Trimmer Edger Tool

Battery & Charger

The 2 pictures above are what have made me so timid...

Ø I was so pleased with myself.

Ø I bought a Rechargeable Battery Powered String Trimmer Edger.

Ø This is the first big tool I have owned that is Rechargeable Battery Powered.

Ø I was turned into a Scaredy Cat because of the Operator's Manual that came with my String Trimmer Edger. The scary stuff started when I started to read the Operator's Manual's Important Safety Instructions.

There were 50 Bullet Point Warnings that warned me about:

Ø Serious Personal Injuries.

Ø Eye Injury Possibilities (I was told to flush with water for 10 minutes if I got some yucky stuff in my eye).

Ø I was warned to Dress Properly -- “Use of rubber gloves and substantial footwear is recommended when working outdoors. Wear heavy, long pants, long sleeves, boots and gloves. Do not wear loose fitting clothing or jewelry they can be caught in moving parts. Secure long hair above shoulder level to prevent entanglement in moving parts.”...
>I imagined my behind neighbor looking down and seeing me doing my edging and saying to his wife, “Come over here, Hazel, Herman Munster is edging Fella’s back yard”.

Ø Electric Shock.

Ø Loss of Balance.

Ø The word “Dangerous” was used a lot...
>So was the word “Hazard”
>Fire was mentioned often
>I shivered when I saw “Toxic” jump out at me
>Explosion really got my attention
>Last but not least even the word “Death” made several appearances

Ø I was warned to have my wife at the ready to call for Immediate Medical Attention.

Ø The last Important Safety Instruction warned me that I am responsible for my fellow man...“Save these instructions. Refer to them frequently and use them to instruct others who may use this power tool. If you loan someone this power tool, loan them these instructions also.”

Ø I imagined being brought to trial after someone who borrowed my String Trimmer Edger was injured while using it...
>I could hear the opposition attorney making his case about how terrible a person I was, “Your honor, I know that the point has been made by my opposing attorney that Careless Fella did tell my Severely Injured Client to be very careful when using his String Trimmer Edger but it is unconscionable on Fella’s part that he did not tell my Severely Injured Client to be very very careful when using his Very Very Dangerous String Trimmer Edger. I think it is obvious that Careless Fella was grossly negligent when he left off the second “Very”!

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There are only a total of 9 pages in my Operator Manual Booklet. Four of the pages contain 19 Warning Boxes, 1 Caution Box and 2 Notice Boxes.

Ø 18 of the 19 Warning Boxes warned of Serious Injury.

Ø 1 of the 19 Warning Boxes warned about Hazards.

Ø The Caution Box told me to watch out for Pinching.

Ø Even the 2 Notice Boxes filled me Trepidation as I read them.

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I was fortunate that it rained the first 2 days I had my new tool because I was afraid to touch it. I just left it on the floor in our Living Room and I walked around it carefully hoping it would not see me going by.

By the time the rain stopped I had gotten up enough courage to pick it up and take it into my back yard and do some trimming and I am relieved to tell you I Did Not Die.

However, I can feel the tension building up inside of me because I know what I have trimmed is growing as I peck this Blog Posting and I will one day have to go back out there.

Next time I buy something it will be Toothpicks because the Owners Manual that comes with them has only 35 Safety Instructions and 12 Warning Boxes.    

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: I forgot to mention there is additional documentation for the Battery and another for the Charger. Yes they are also full of Important Safety Instructions, Dire Warnings, Notices, Cautions, Safety Rules and Threats.