Thursday, May 13, 2021

News Headline I Want to See

 

Here are the types of News Headlines I keep seeing...

Ø Super Hackers Reveal How Easy It Is To Steal Just About Everything

Ø How Hackers Could Wirelessly Bug Your Office

Ø Inside Russia’s Hacker Underworld

Ø The World's Most Famous Hacker Kevin Mitnick & KnowBe4 CEO Stu Sjouwerman Deliver the Cyber Investing Summit 2017 Opening Keynote Presentation

Ø Colonial pipeline hack claimed by Russian group DarkSide spurs emergency order from White House

Regarding the Last Headline above, the article’s sub headline actually said this...

“The Darkside Ransomware Group released a statement Monday saying it is apolitical and that it did not mean to cause widespread disruption”

What’s going on?

These guys are acting like they are celebrities! We (the Good Guys) don’t need to go out and to try and find them? We know where they are? We know who they are? They are issuing statements as if they were a Legitimate Business?!

Here is a New Headline I want to see...

“In a raid similar to those conducted against Rudy Giuliani, Paul Manafort and Roger Stone FBI Agents Invaded the Headquarters of Hackers R Us and Seized All Kinds of Stuff”

After I saw my Hoped-For News Headline above here is probably what I would see next...

The attorney for the Hackers R Us standing before a bevy of microphones, with tears in his eyes saying something like this...

“I am shocked! The right to disrupt society and cause Untold Financial Loss and Chaos is my client’s absolute right! Forthwith I demand an apology from every FBI Agent who participated in this Unmitigated Miscarriage of Justice! I never thought I would see this day!”

The next thing I would see...

Within minutes all FBI Agents who participated in the raid would tweet their Heartfelt Apology.

The next thing I would see before I ran out of the building screaming would be the still teary eyed attorney for Hackers R Us returning to the microphones and saying...

“An apology is not enough! I have been authorized by my clients to say, you just wait till next Thursday! You will rue the day that you dared to try and take our rights away!”

What’s going on?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella


Lagniappe: When is a Hacker going to go to jail?


Lagniappe Another: The attorney returns saying, “You can’t send my client to jail. He has a lot of Keynote Presentations on his calendar!”