It Does Not Make Me Feel A Lot Better To Know That Not All of Us Are Nuts

A female juvenile in Texas posted a video of herself grabbing a carton of Blue Bell Tin Roof Ice Cream from a grocery store freezer, licking it and returning it back into the freezer. The video was viewed millions of times and has inspired a rash of copycats in other states.

To see the video click here: Licker Licking Video

Blue Bell said it inspected the store freezer that contained the licked ice cream, found the problematic tub and then removed all Tin Roof half gallons to assure the public that it was safe to buy their ice cream.

Police say the licker faces a charge of Second-Degree Felony Tampering with a Consumer Product, which carries 2 to 20 years behind bars and a possible fine of up to $10,000 (This is Fella: but, because she is a Juvenile, she will probably get a Very Stern Finger Wagged at her during her next Autograph Signing Session).

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I see out there that some of my Dear Readers just asked why she is in demand for her autograph. The answer is obvious. She is signing autographs because she is now a Celebrity.

Her being a Celebrity automatically kicks in several other points of You Gotta Be Kidding!...

Ø Because of her Celebrity Status she will not be punished even if she were an adult.

Ø Celebrities only receive anything akin to a severe punishment when they murder a Celebrity who is more popular than they are.

Ø The people who manage the Hollywood Walk of Fame are in high gear to have the Ice Cream Licker enshrined forever in their famous sidewalk.

Ø Normally Celebrities have to be Celebrities for a few weeks before they are honored with a Sidewalk Enshrinement but worshipers have been clamoring for an Expedited Enshrinement in this case because the Licker had a thing of some kind sticking out of her nose when she performed her Historic Licking Lick.

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Also did you notice what I noticed?

Ø No it was not that the Licker was stupid enough to publish her stupidity to the Internet. (Maybe she was not stupid because she was smart enough to know that, being a juvenile, she was going to get away with the Licking and become famous.)

Ø No it was not that the video was viewed 11 Million Times (more millions by now).

Ø No it was not that the Stupid Licker could go to jail for 20 Years. (See above about being a juvenile and getting away with the Licking.)

Don’t feel badly. You are not The Noticer. I am. The Big Notice for me was that people all over the Good Ole USofA started doing the same uncaring, unsanitary and stupid thing.

Instead of seeing the video and thinking to their collective selves, “I’m never going to do that!”

They see the Licking and say, “Hey, dude, that’s far out! I can’t wait to get in my licks!”

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In the Old Days (where I come from) this was not done!

Maybe I should expand the above sentence to…

In the old days this was not done because we were not that stupid and, even if we were that stupid, the Internet was yet to be invented. The Internet spread this Foolishness across the Good Ole USofA. Without the Internet, the Stupids out in the World Wide Out There would never have become Copycats because they never would have heard about the ignorance of their fellow Americans.

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Here is the kind of things that used to happen in the Old Days (where I come from)…

4 Minute Mile

Track athletes in the 1950s labored under the belief that no human being could run a mile faster than 4 minutes…

Ø On 6th May 1954, Roger Bannister ran the first sub-4-minute mile (3:59.4) in England.

Ø He held his world record for just six weeks before, John Landy of Australia, broke it by more than a second with a time of 3:57.9.

Mountain Climbing

Ø Someone climbed Mount Everest in record time.

Ø Immediately other climbers started planning how they could get up and down even faster.

The First Wheel Is Invented

Ø Within weeks someone invents the 2nd Wheel.

Ø Shortly after the 2nd Wheel someone invents the 3rd Wheel.

Ø I’ll bet you know what happens next. That’s right! The 4^th Wheel comes off the drawing board.

All of this Invention Progress was necessary because, if it had not come to fruition, Henry Ford would have been a laughing stock as he was seen standing in his garage with all the components of the Automobile (engine, transmission, steering wheel, ash trays, 8 Track Player, horn, coon tail, little plastic Jesus Statue, etc. all around him without knowing what he was going to do next.

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Fast Forward past the Good Old Days to the Not So Good New Days of Today…

Let’s think again about the fact that all across the Fruited Plain people are imitating the Licking.

Instead of the youth of today trying to Run the 3 Minute Mile or running up and down Mount Everest in Track Shoes or working day and night to invent the World’s First Hover Craft Automobile, they are headed into the Ice Cream Aisles of their local grocery store and licking Ice Cream Cartons and sending their ignorance out to the World so that the World will know how stupid they are.

The saddest part is this is not the end of it. Other Social Media Stupids are now desperately trying to come up with more outlandish stupid things to do so they can send their ignorance out across the World Wide Web.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Sad Lagniappes:

Ø Wichita Falls police banned a woman from Walmart after she reportedly ate half a cake and refused to pay for the other half.

Ø Odessa police arrested a 15-year-old boy for spitting in an Arizona Tea bottle and putting it back on the shelf.

Ø Twitter user posted a video of himself this week at what appears to be a CVS with the caption, “I love ice cream.” The video shows him scooping ice cream out of a container with his bare hands before putting the carton back in the freezer and quickly walking away.
>>Hours later, he posted a video showing a police officer speaking to him, followed by another tweet which reads, “Just left the police station. Too much clout to care.”

Ø A Louisiana man was arrested after he was seen in a video licking a container of Blue Bell ice cream and then returning it to the freezer. The 36-year-old shared the video on Facebook, prompting concerned residents to call the police.

Ø A Wal-Mart Shopper was recorded opening up a bottle of Listerine, gargling with it, depositing the used mouthwash back into the container, and then putting it all back on the shelf. Some claim that this was staged because the gargling spitter did not appear to break any safety seal.

There are more but this is enough…More than enough.