It came at me like a bolt from the blue (whatever that means). There I was sitting in a coffee shop one day dreaming about a solution to the Middle East Situation and up walks this complete stranger who said to me, “I am willing to give you $.25 for every time anyone anywhere says or writes the phrase “Black Friday” between now and the day after Thanksgiving.” Since my benefactor made this generous offer to me on November 1st, I knew I was about to reap a bonanza.
I have been known to waste a lot of time day dreaming. Oh, I don’t mean to infer that day dreaming is a waste of time but day dreaming about a solution to the Middles East Situation is definitely a colossal waste of time.
Now, if I could just talk my benefactor into paying me $.25 for every time anyone anywhere says or writes the phrase “Cyber Monday”, I could really be rich.
------------------------
I know for a fact that if Charles Darwin were alive he would be rolling over in his grave just dying to be able to write about the Evolution of Black Friday.
Now this silly phenomenon is spreading its hysteria laden tentacles beyond just one day. This year we saw parts of Thanksgiving Day given over to shopping.
It will not be long before we will be seeing Talking Heads standing outside retail stores breathlessly reporting to us about Black Thursday Friday Saturday shopping activities.
The next iteration is we will be given over to a whole month of this hysteria and we will be hearing reports about Black November.
------------------------
You, of course, remember the title of my Blog is “Foolishness...Or Is It?” and this next part is definitely Silliness... Or is it?
- A reporter approaches a bleeding shopper pushing an overflowing shopping cart while dragging a second overflowing shopping cart behind her.
- The reporter asks the shopper, “Are you glad you gave up your Thanksgiving Day dinner with your family so you could go out and buy all this stuff for Christmas?
- The shopper looks a little confused and says in reply, “What’s Thanksgiving?”
- The confused look on the shopper face gets more confused looking as she goes on to ask, “What’s Christmas?”
------------------------
In keeping with the continuing trend towards violence in our Once Great Country I bring you this headline from my morning newspaper today...
Police: 2 shot at Florida Wal-Mart over parking space
Yes, parking spaces are at a premium on Black Friday. They are so important that a man and a woman shot each other over the necessity to occupy one of them.
That’s the bad news. The good news is neither injury is life-threatening and both combatants are expected to be recovered by next Black Friday to go back into the line of fire.
------------------------
On Monday of this week (Black Friday Week) I saw a news piece on TV about savvy shoppers who had already put up tents outside a Best Buy and were in the process of spending their week waiting for the doors to open on the big day.
This begs the question...Do these people not have jobs and, if they do not have jobs, where do they get the money to go into Best Buy and spend a lot of money so they can save a lot of money?
Please do not tell me that they are subsidized by our Federal Government under something like the Aid to Shoppers Who Choose Not to Work Program created to allow they to pursue their life’s work...Shopping.
------------------------
One of these tented shoppers was filmed sitting all bundled up against the cold playing a video game on her Xbox using a 32” Flat Screen TV.
Does this mental midget not realize that when she rushes into the store to gather up her new “necessities of life”, someone is going to steal her Xbox, Table, TV and Folding Chair?
------------------------
There you have it. You have just read my apparently annual tirade (I did something like this last year too) against Black Friday. The good news is you have been entertained (I hope). The bad news is I did not make up any of what you have read...Or did I?
Would I kid u?
