Tuesday, September 27, 2022

Lawyers to the Rescue

When In Doubt, Cast Doubt...

If your dog bites your neighbor’s leg, turn it over to you lawyer and have your lawyer deny everything...

  • Your honor, that’s not my client’s dog.
  • Your honor, that’s not my client’s neighbor.
  • Your honor, that’s not my client’s neighbor’s leg.

Banana Peels Are Dangerous...

Your honor, over the decades banana peels have caused an untold numbers of injuries to countless innocent victims. My innocent victim client slipped on a banana peel on the way to the big football game last Saturday and he was forced to miss the first half of one of the greatest games in the last two weeks. My brother-in-law is a member of the U.S. House of Representatives and he is going to introduce legislation in the House next week to ban the sale of bananas in the Good Ole USofA until banana importers have demonstrated their concern for the innocent butts of this country by developing the Peelless Banana!

Honest Client...

Your honor, my client has sworn to this court that he did not do it. More importantly, he has personally assured me that he has never told a lie in his entire life except when he thought it was necessary to achieve an honorable or a dishonorable outcome.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Maxwell Smart often told the truth but with him the truth was flexible. If his truth was not believed, he often would modify the truth with one or more of his Would You Believes. Here is a funny example...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bA-UPrK_x-k