If you want to put Something Valuable in the Way Back of your 5-Door Car, the manufacturers provide their buyers with a Security Cover. This allows the car owners to pull the Security Cover over their Valuable Stuff to ensure that their Valuable Stuff will not be seen by a passing Snidely Whiplash.
The Security Cover keeps Snidely from looking into your Way Back and seeing your Valuable Stuff and then breaking into your car to take your Valuable Stuff to add your stuff to his collection of Stolen Valuable Stuff he has already stolen.
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Words to the Wise… Never Use The Security Cover!
- If there is something of value under the Security Cover, Snidely will break your window to get to your valuable stuff.
- If there is nothing of value under the Security Cover, Snidely will break your window because he will think you would not have pulled the Security Cover unless there was something of value to cover.
- If there is something of value and you leave it Uncovered, Snidely will break your window to get to your valuable stuff.
- If you do not have anything of value and you leave your Way Back uncovered, Snidely will not break your window because he can see there is no reason to break your window.
The only time you will not get your window broken is when there is nothing back there and that nothing is uncovered.
If you insist on using your car to carry something, you can save the expense of paying to have your window replaced if you put a sign on your back window that says to Snidely…
“Dear Mr. Whiplash, do not break my window to get my Valuable Stuff. Please wait until I return to my car and mug me for my valuable stuff without breaking my window. I promise I will not be long. I also promise I will cooperate with the mugging. Then you can be on your way to do your other dastardly deeds”.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
Lagniappe: Unless you have been living under a rock with ear plugs inserted, you are aware that some of our former great cities are presently in utter chaos. As would be expected in such circumstances, muggings have sky rocked. It is so bad that Muggers are offering their Muggees half of what they were just mugged for, if the Muggee will walk the Mugger safely back home.
