About every 6 weeks Celebrities R Us has an Awards Gala out in Hollywood where Celebrities present Awards to Themselves, Trees, Climate Activists, Unicorns, Rocks and Al Gore.
At their next Awards Gala they will present multiple awards to all the Mayors across the Good Ole USofA who instituted Police Stand Downs So We Could All Watch Buildings Burn Down.
The President of Celebrities R Us read this Press Release to the assembled breathless media yesterday...
Starting last year the many Mostly Peaceful
Fiery Protests have brought a new dimension of excitement onto the American
Landscape. The Mayors who instituted these Police Stand Downs recognized that
we all had become bored with Seinfeld Reruns and gave us something new and
different to watch on the nightly news each night. Even though the frequency of
these Mostly Peaceful Fiery Protests has diminished as of late we will always
have Portland’s Ongoing Mostly Peaceful Fiery Protests to satisfy our yearning
for excitement. We are secure in the knowledge that we will always be able to watch Portland destroy itself in the safety of our
living rooms each night. What a joy it is to see all this destruction
happening night after night while realizing that it’s not our businesses that are
being destroyed.
After the Press Release had been read, one of the reporters asked, “Your honor, do you not think that some consideration should be given to the Mom and Pop Business Owners who lost everything in these Mostly Peaceful Fiery Protests?”
His Honor looked confused. Knowing he was talking to a
Mental Midget he composed himself and put the Midget in his place with this
brilliant answer, “Who are these Mom and
Pop People? Have they every made a movie? Have any of them ever received an
award from any of the plethora of Awards Galas we have held all these years? Have
any of them ever been to the South of France in season? The truth is we do not
know who they are. Oh yes, some of them may have raised families but there are
lots of families out here and some of these people they raised have done some
really bad things.
Let’s move on. You there in the front row wearing all those diamonds and showing all those really interesting tattoos, do you have a better question to ask of me?”
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
