Why Are You In Here?

I Don’t Normally Burden My Dear Readers with Two Blog Postings in One Day but This Is an Emergency

The finely dressed new inmate is roughly shoved into his new cell. He looks ill at ease. Already in the cell is the inmate who somehow looks right at home in the new inmate’s new cell.

They both want to be friendly so they strike up a conversation…

Ø Hi, my name is Howard. What’s your name?

Ø My name is Randolph but everyone calls me by my nickname, Killer.

Ø Hi, Killer.

Ø Hi, Howard.

Ø Tell me, Killer, have you been in here a long time?

Ø You might say that, Howard, I’ve been here since 1987.

Ø Wow, Killer, that is a long time.

Ø Killer, may I call you Killer?

Ø Sure, everyone else calls me Killer, why should you be an exception?

Ø Why are you in here, Killer?

Ø Well, as you probably have guessed from my nickname, I have killed people. Actually I killed a lot of people. I killed my wife. I killed her boyfriend. I guess I should qualify that. I killed a guy who I thought was her boyfriend but he just turned out to be someone she sat next to on the bus. I killed my neighbor’s dog because he barked after 9 o’clock at night. Then I had to kill my neighbor because he objected to my killing his dog for barking after 9 o’clock at night. Since I have been in here, I killed 3 cellmates, but I think I am reformed, because I have not killed a cellmate in the last 7 years.

Ø Howard was speechless.

Ø Killer felt obligated to keep the conversation going so he asked why Howard was in jail.

Ø Howard told him he has violated the Coronavirus State Mandate to Shelter In Place and he had gone to Good Friday Services at his Church.

Ø Killer’s eyes got big as saucers. All of a sudden he looked downright frightened. He jumped up and ran and grabbed the bars of their cell and started shouting, “Guard, get me outta here! Get me outta here!” Then he turned to face Howard keeping his back up against the bars and while grasping the bars over his head with his clenched hands he continued shouting, “Be quick about it! And send someone to help me move my stuff!”

In these uncertain times we all have our own fears and some of those fears are not only new but they are downright overwhelming.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Corona Beer Is Going Out Of Business…Or is it?

Attention Grabbing Headlines are created to get us to read News Articles.

Very often Attention Grabbing Headlines are created to get us to read News Articles that we might not have bothered to read if that Attention Grabbing Headline had not been specifically designed to deceive us into thinking that there was some juicy news in that News Article that is actually not in that News Article.

A good example of what the above confusing paragraph tried to say is this Deceptive Attention Grabbing Headline…

Corona Beer Stops Production

What does this imply?

• Corona Beer Sales have fallen like a rock.
• Corona Beer is going to go out of business.
• Congress needs to step in and pass a Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security Act (number next) for Corona Beer.
  ➽I had to put in the word “next” instead of an actual number because there is no telling how many Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security Acts will have been passed by the time Congress gets around to saving Corona Beer.

At the bottom of this Blog Posting you will find the link to the News Article that inspired this Blog Posting. You can read it, if you want to, but you might not want to read it because I am about to peck out the gist of what it says. (Many of you will likely read it to see if I was lying when I pecked out the gist)…

• Corona’s coincidental name with the Coronavirus has not dented sales.
• Corona Beer Sales have not fallen like a rock.
• Corona Beer is not going out of business.
• Grupo Modelo, the company that makes several different beers including Corona Beer, said its sales have actually accelerated 24% in the first three weeks of March compared to a year ago with Modelo and Corona being its top sellers.

Are you asking yourself, if all of the above is true and Fella is not lying, why has Corona halted production? The reason is because the…

Mexican Government Has Shuttered Non-Essential Businesses.

Now you know why Mexico has not conquered the world. A country that has a government that is so misguided that it actually thinks the Production of Beer is a Non-Essential Business is not too smart and it will never become a world power.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Here’s the link… https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/03/business/corona-beer-production/?iid=ob_article_organicsidebar_expansion