Sunday, June 16, 2024

Why Were We The Way We Were?

 

The COVID-19 Pandemic was an awful time. Being awful was one thing but Fella thinks it was responsible for a Massive Outbreak of Awfully Stupid the likes of which we ought to pray will never happen again.

Here are many examples of Dumb Run Amuck...

The Worst Offenders

  • Vermont Governor Phil Scott announced that no one may gather with anyone from another household—even outdoors. He justified the ban because “you don’t know what your neighbor has done.” (He later amended the order to allow socially distanced walks with one other person.)
  • Villages in New York banned the use of leaf-blowers. According to the mayor of Sleepy Hollow, because of the COVID pandemic, blowing dust into the air “creates a HAZMAT situation.” And in Croton-on-Hudson, the Village manager expressed “concern that the use of leaf blowers may be contributing to the spread of the virus although there is no scientific proof of this.”
  • Massachusetts Governor Charlie Baker imposed a “no exceptions” mask mandate requiring everyone age 5 and older to wear masks in public, even when outdoors and socially distanced (or, presumably, alone).
  • Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti banned all travel other than for essential activities, including “travel on foot, bicycle, scooter, motorcycle, automobile, or public transit.” In other words, no unnecessary walking.
  • The mayor of Louisville, Kentucky, banned drive-in church services for Easter. Fortunately, a federal judge put a stop to the ban, writing that the mayor’s order was something “this court never expected to see outside the pages of a dystopian novel, or perhaps the pages of The Onion.”

But it wasn’t just the measures themselves that were troublesome. The enforcement of these new laws was also overzealous and absurd.

  • Police in Encinitas, California, cited 22 people for “watching the sunset” and “having picnics near the beach.” Violations carry fines of up to $1,000 and up to six months in jail.
  • A 19-year-old woman in Pennsylvania was stopped by police and given a $200 ticket when she went for a drive—alone—“just to get out of the house.”
  • In California, police chased down and arrested paddleboarders and surfers who went out in the ocean socially distanced from anyone.
  • A man in Brighton, Colorado, was arrested for playing catch with his 6-year-old daughter on a near-empty softball field.

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Fella Made This One Up...Or did he?

The Mayor of Palooka, Illinois personally arrested a man in the Palooka’s City Park who was throwing a football to no one. The Mayor was cruising the park while he was Masked, Gloved and Wearing Plastic Wrap Covered Galoshes when he observed the offending offender throwing the ball and running to pick it up only to throw it again and running to pick it up to throw it again over and over. When the mayor questioned the Thrower to Nobody Football Thrower as to why he was throwing the ball to nobody the Thrower to Nobody Football Thrower said he wanted to get some exercise but everyone else was afraid to come out of their houses for fear that COVID-19 might be outside their houses. The Mayor said he had to act because the Thrower to Nobody Football Thrower might have encouraged another exercise seeker to come out of his house to seek exercise and the Mayor feared that the two of them might have caused a crescendo of other Thrower to Nobody Football Throwers to come out of their COVID Safe houses to seek exercise. The Mayor said he was further concerned because he knew his entire police force was unavailable to make the arrest in his stead because they were afraid to come out of their houses because the Mayor had told them not to come out of their houses.

I’m going to stop now because I am beginning to sound Foolish and you know I never want to sound Foolish...Or do I never want to?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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