Monday, October 23, 2023

Let Me Do Da Stealing I’m One of Us

 

News Clips | October 21, 2023

During a House Oversight Subcommittee hearing on Oct. 19, founder and CEO of Audient Group Linda Miller, the former deputy executive director of the Pandemic Response Accountability Committee in the Department of Justice, disclosed that according to some estimates, half of U.S. pandemic unemployment assistance fraud went to adversarial nations. Her comments came in response to a question from Rep. Brian Fitzpatrick (R-Pa.) concerning a recent federal prosecution of a group of Chinese state-linked hackers who stole an estimated $20 million in relief funds.

(Fella did the underlining.)

If you are like me you did not read the above News Clip close enough. The amount of stolen money the article is telling us about is not only $20 Million (betcha did not know it was possible to use the word “only” with $20 Million). The article brings to light the fact that 50% of U.S. Pandemic Unemployment Assistance Fraud that was stolen was stolen by Chinese State-Linked Hackers. The total U.S. Pandemic Unemployment Assistance Money Stolen was $40 Million!

Does this mean that Members of our 9% Approval Rated Congress sit around their formerly smoke-filled rooms and says the likes of this to each other, “OK, we need umptiump billions of dollars for this worthy cause. Since we know that umptiump billions of dollars are going to be stolen we need to increase the tax increase needed for this worthy cause by umptiump billions of dollars so we will have enough un-stolen billions left.”

Does it ever cross their small minds that maybe they ought to stop the stealing?

Is this country completely out of control or what?

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Here comes the Foolishness...Or is it?

We have perfectly good certified criminals in the Good Ole USofA. 

If I were a perfectly good certified criminal in the Good Ole USofA I would be offended. 

I can just hear Vito complaining to the boys at barber shop...

Ø Why is this country allowing foreign criminals to steal Pandemic Unemployment Funds?

Ø Just because we are Criminals does not mean are not Patriotic.

Ø If this country is going to be stupid enough to allow $20 Million to be stolen like this, it ought to send us a text message and tell us that they are this stupid and offer us the opportunity to steal it rather than them allowing this perfectly good money go to these low life foreign bad guys who are not patriotic criminals like us.

Ø That just ain’t right!

I agree with Vito. Our Rulers are indeed stupid.

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The Blogging is over. This is Fella being absolutely serious. What this means is Foreign and/or Domestic Criminals can steal $20 to $40 Million just by clicking on a computer’s keys without having to go out and buying or stealing a gun. Vito is right. That just ain’t right.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella


Friday, October 20, 2023

If It Weren’t So Serious It Would Be Silly

For 2 weeks now there has been no news except news about Hamas and Israel.

If we were back to 3 weeks ago the News Media would be going berserk about all kinds of other reported disasters of the day. If there are no disasters on any given day the News Media will make ordinary non-disasters sound like disastrous disasters...

Ø Breaking News!

Ø This Just It!

Ø He Did It Again!

Ø He Didn’t Do It again!

Ø Harry Met Sally!

Ø Harry And Sally Have Split Up!

I think it is quite possible that, if the Exclamation Point had not been invented, the News Media would not have been invented.

It’s what they do. They make ordinary non-disasters sound like disastrous disasters.

After this war is a thing of the past they will go back to shouting at us about all the things that they are paying no never mind to at this time.

The sad part is they will get us to worry about all those unimportant molehills.

Maybe we are the silly ones.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Come to think about it, have you ever come across An Important Molehill?

Sunday, October 15, 2023

Are We Too Civilized To Try and Stop Evil? or Whoever Invented the Smudge Ought To Have His Statue Torn Down


I was hesitant to write this Blog Posting because I would not get much support from many of you out there because you out there are too civilized and I am on the precipice of I Don’t Care Anymore.

This is going to be a hard Blog Posting to write but I’m going to give it a go. Please read on and see how I go about pecking it out knowing that many of you are going to say to me, “How could you!”

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I’ll set this up by talking about a Smudge Absurdity...

Ø Several years ago in broad daylight a man stole a baby right out of a carriage being pushed by its mother.

Ø The man and the man's face were caught on a security camera running up the street with the baby in hand being chased by the mother’s other two small children.

Ø Did you just say to yourself, “That’s great! They got a clear picture of the bad guy’s face and were going to be broadcasting it on TV and on the Internet and in short order they would apprehend the bad guy and get the baby back to its distraught Mother!”

Ø That’s not what happened because the people in charge of doing stupid things put a smudge over the face of the fleeing baby-stealing bad guy.

Ø Because of the smudge, instead of people down the street seeing the bad guy running with a baby under his arm and tackling him and taking the stolen baby away from him, they saw him coming toward them and they said to themselves, “I wonder if that is the baby stealer I just saw on the TV (and/or the Internet)? No, that’s not him. The TV (and/or the Internet) baby stealer had a smudge for a face.”

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Here is where I start treading on thin ice.

The news reports about the Israeli-Hamas War are going Smudge Crazy. Hamas has been doing some really Awful Things and the world is almost getting to see the Awful Things but not getting to see the Awful Things because they are Smudged Over.

Two nights ago I was telling my long-suffering wife (she is long suffering because I’ve got no one else that will listen to me) that the Smudges ought to be removed because the world needs to see the Awful in all of its Awfulness.

Then last night the Smartfella was proven right (to himself at least). I saw on TV, over and over, Hamas Supporters say that it was not true that babies had their heads cut off. It was just Israeli Lies.

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I say let the world see the Evil!

Maybe, just maybe, it will make some of the Hamas Supporters in our universities go back to their video games instead of going out and demonstrating with their cue cards in hand.

Maybe if they saw a baby head or two cut off unsmudged (is that a word?) they would see the light and call a spade a spade and see how the cow really eats the cabbage and say, “Eureka, I now understand! I see that the Evil out there is Evil! I wanna become Jew!”

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I think I have made myself confusingly clear. If you do not see my absolutely perfectly irrefutable logic I feel sorry for you.

On the other hand I understand that all of what I pecked out above will fall on many deaf ears because many of the demonstrators who see the babies heads rolling into the streets will say, “Just what I expected! Netanyahu cut off those babies’ heads with a kitchen knife and paid Fox News to make it look like Hamas did it”


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The guy with the microphone asks: “How Do You Know That?”

The demonstrator replies, “Because it says so on my cue card!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Monday, October 09, 2023

In The Old Days We Knew What Beauty Looked Like

The Old Days Are a Thing Of The Past

(That may be one of the silliest things I have ever pecked out!)

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I’ll start over...

In The Old Days We Knew What Beauty Looked Like

In the New Days some of us are confused about Beauty.

Nah! That does not get my point across either.

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I’ll try again...

In The New Days Some of Us Are Beauty Stupid

The more age advanced among my Dear Readers remember Marilyn. I am so confident about that I will save time and not even peck out her last name...


Below is what Modern Advertising Executives think is Beautiful...

Beauty Stupid #1...


Beauty Stupid #2...


What’s wrong with them?

I will finish up this Blog Posting by trying to help you forget what you just saw and think about Marilynn What's Her Name.





Even Marilyn’s 2 Friends Below Are Better Looking Than the Modern Advertising Executives’ 3 Friends Above...


Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Wednesday, September 20, 2023

Post Office Again...You Already Know I Am Smart But Did You Know I Am Smarter Than The U.S. Post Office (USPS)?

 

If I were in charge of the USPS my phone call the other day to the USPS would not have gone like this...

Ø I punched phone prompts for over 5 minutes.

Ø I had to jump through 5 different sets of phone prompts.

Ø At the end of the 5 minutes of frustrating punching the USPS Phone Computer said to me, “Hey, dummy, you called on a holiday. We are closed today because it is a holiday, dummy. Call back when it is not a holiday, dummy.”

Ø Ok I embellished the prior Bullet Point...It was a lot briefer than that. It simply said, “We are closed today. Call back during regular business hours.”

That’s what it really said but I know what USPS Phone Computer was thinking. It was thinking I was a dummy.

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If I were in charge of the USPS, my phone call to the USPS would have been very short because in the very beginning I would have been told that they were closed and the Herculean Effort to make me Phone Punch Drunk would not have taken place.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

 

Thursday, September 07, 2023

I Won’t Say Making a Change of Address at the Post Office Is Impossible but Based On My Recent Personal Experience It Ain’t Possible

I hope My Dear Readers have been wondering where I have been but I won’t ask if they noticed I have been gone because I might not want to hear their answer.

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We have moved about 25 miles north of where we have lived for more than 20 years and I am worried about the impending Cold Winter Months fast coming upon me. It has been a long time since I have lived this far north. I hope, at my advanced age, I will be able to handle the cold up here.

There have been times when I have traveled further north than where I am presently living now but I could handle the uneasiness that I felt creaking over me because I knew it was only temporary.

It ain’t temporary no more.

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The U.S. Postal Service Has Come a Long Way

Or Has It?

It used to be so easy. You have moved your place of residence. You need to file a Change of Address with your local post office. You go to your local post office and fill out a Change of Address Card. You then forgot about it because the USPS handled it all. Your mail started arriving at your new address. It used to be so simple. It ain’t simple any longer because the USPS has become computerized.

Since all My Dear Readers are Sly, Cunning and Alert I know that each of you have taken note that I used the words “It Ain’t Possible” in the subject of this Blog Posting. (Yea, I can see that Blogspot's Software has a hitch in its get along and it is putting the Subject as part of the body of the Blog Posting. Please forgive me or Blogspot.)

I know what I am doing. I am a semi accomplished user of words.  I deliberately used those three words because they belong there. I wish they didn’t but they do.

In trying to get my mail delivery changed I have spent many hours...

Ø On my computer.

Ø On my phone.

Ø On hold waiting for someone to pick up the phone at my Computerized USPS.

Ø Waiting for a USPS Call Back because I was silly enough to fall for my USPS’s slick computerized offer to enter the cue and wait for it to call me back.

Ø Visited my new local post office to plead for help, assistance or someone to pay attention to me but I got none of any of the three.

My address is unchanged coming up on 4 weeks since I first submitted my change of address to my Computerized USPS (8/12/23).

My mail has stopped coming to my old house but is not coming to my new house. I find myself picturing a big snake that has swallowed a pig. If I ever start receiving all the mail that the USPS is holding inside that snake I am going to need a bigger mailbox. (Remind you of Jaws?)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QT9BeGNnCqw

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Here’s one that you will not believe but it actually happened...

Yesterday I received a ray of hope that my mail would start up again. I got a letter from the USPS that addressed my Change of Address.

It appears that there are now two parts to the USPS Change of address Procedures. The Change of Address itself and something called Informed Delivery.

The other day I got into a Text Messaging Exchange (actually not much of an exchange because she did all the texting) with a USPS Associate/Employee/Ignorer or whatever they are being called now.

Ø Her: You have to complete the Official Change of Address Form and I see that you have done that.

Ø Her Again: The second part is updating the Informed Delivery Profile from the old address to the new address.

Ø Her Again: If this did not happen you would get notifications for the old address mail and the service would keep holding your mail because you have a Change of Address in place.

I double dare you to read that 3rd Bullet Point over and over and see if you ever get to an understanding of what the heck she was talking about.

The closest I can figure out is she said because I put in a change of address the USPS is holding my mail.

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This Blog Posting has been going on for awhile so I’m sorry to keep pecking it out but I’ve got nothing else to do because I don’t have any mail to read.

I also got on the phone yesterday with a USPS Representative about Informed Delivery...

Ø I told him I never signed up for Informed Delivery.

Ø He said I have been signed up with Informed Delivery 7 years ago.

Ø I asked what Informed Delivery was.

Ø He said with Informed Delivery the USPS takes pictures of the envelopes of my incoming mail and sends those pictures to me so I would know what mail would be in my mailbox before it is in my mail box.

Ø I told him I have never received a single picture of yet-to-arrive-mail during this entire 7 years he said I have been signed up for Informed Delivery.

Here is the part where you are going to think to yourself...Fella, You Made This Up. The USPS Representative said to me, “That may be true but Informed Delivery does not cost you anything”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Friday, August 11, 2023

It’s Not That Complicated...Or is it not?

 

There is a Web Site named “Just Facts”. It may be a way for us to separate the Fly Chit from Pepper.

I decided I would give it a go to see if I could get a better understanding of this country’s Immigration Policy (also known as Immigration Chaos).

You know Immigration. It’s one of those subjects the Taking Heads shout at each other about on the nightly news Every Day on Every Show.

My Simplification Plan did not work...

Ø I searched Just Facts for “Immigration”.

Ø I copied the Just Facts-Immigration documentation to a Word File.

Ø I highlighted the entire Word File.

Ø I looked up the Statistics that Word tabulates about every one of its files.

Ø I used Snipping Tool to be able to show My Dear Readers the Volume of Confusion you would be wading through if you actually did read all of the Just Facts Facts.

Ø Here is the link: https://www.justfacts.com/immigration

Ø Here is the Word Stats Recap: 

That’s right...352,381 words plus almost that same number of charts and graphs (A slight exaggeration...Or is it?).

The Bottom Line: We have way too much information coming at us. After we read it all ... if we read it all ... when we are done, We Know Nothing...

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe:

Hold on, Fella. Are you overreacting? What if you would just take it slow and read carefully, would you not then be able to know more than Nothing?

OK, let’s try that. Here is Footnote Page 93. How slow would you need to go and how carefully would you need to read to understand this?...

“Page 93:

For the climate change example above we get margin of error = 1/√= 1/√500 = .045 instead of .035 [using a more complex and precise formula]. This simplified formula is called “conservative” became it yields a larger margin of error. You take less risk of being wrong when you say your survey is probably within 4.5% of the truth than if you say it is probably within 3.5%.”

If you want to try and explain this footnote to My Dear Readers so it is easy to understand, give it a go but please limit your explanation to no more than 10,000 words.


Monday, August 07, 2023

Slippin and Sliding, Holy Communion and Way Back When


I have blogged about feet before. I’m going to do it again. I’m going to do it again right now.

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Feet are ugly! Ugly ought to be hidden! Modern Americans seem to think that feet are pretty. If you contend that I am wrong in my thinking about feet, you in the majority and, therefore, you are very likely a proponent of the wearing of Flip Flops out in public. Fella thinks the wearing of Flip Flops to go anywhere outside of one’s own bedroom closet ought to be against the law of the land.

I have seen many many pairs of Flip Flops slippin and sliding up to receive Holy Communion over the years. I try not to look down at the slippin and sliding feets but I can’t help myself. I get distracted. I find myself praying for the wearer’s sake that I am wrong in my long held belief that anyone who wears Flip Flops to Holy Communion is going to go straight to hell.

I sure hope I don’t have to go to hell just because I think they are going to hell.

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I will now try to get past Flip Flops and move on to other Holy Communion Foot Coverings that catch my attention...

Ø Dirty Tennis Shoes which do not have any laces in them.

Ø Dirty Tennis Shoes which do have any laces in them but all the laces are untied.

Ø 

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This is the bottom of the Blog Posting ergo here comes The Bottom Line...

If you get the impression, I think we ought to dress up to go to Church, you get the correct impression. I can’t help myself because back in my day we used to put on a Suit and a Tie to go pick up incoming passengers at the airport.

OK, maybe a Suit and Tie to meet incoming passengers is overkill but I do think it is nice to look nice for the arrival of relatives, friends and/or enemies who traveled a long way to come see us and certainly we ought not be standing there dressed like we are going to Holy Communion!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella


Friday, August 04, 2023

Obviously Obvious Is Obvious...Or is it?

 

This from NASA...

“The reason that spacesuits are white is because white reflects heat in space the same as it does here on Earth. Temperatures in direct sunlight in space can be more than 275 degrees Fahrenheit.”

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How long will it be before we will hear a Talking Head say on a TV interview, “Spacesuits are white because of racism. That’s right. Everyone knows this is Pure and Simple Racism...Systemic Racism!”

The Moderator will then say, “Of course that’s why. Sometimes the obvious is not that obvious. Thank you for that insight.”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella


Thursday, July 27, 2023

 

When I was young, if you saw a man with a Tattoo, it meant 2 things...

Ø He used to be in the Navy.

Ø One night, while he was in the Navy, he got drunk.

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If I told you that a new Richest Men in America List had just been published and 3 of the top 5 Richest Men were Tattoo Artists, would you believe me?

OK, I would not believe me either but Tattoos Are Everywhere and It Is Awful!

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While I was watching Wimbledon recently I got the shakes for fear of what the future of TV Tennis Watching is going to be like. If the Duke of Wimbledon were alive in his grave he would be rolling over because Tattoos are starting to appear on his tennis players and once they start appearing they are very hard to stop...

  • The real bad news is it looks as though new tattoos are appearing on women players at a faster rate than on men players.
  • Does it make me an awful person if I think that it’s not as bad if the male body is tattooed ugly but the female body ought not to be allowed to do ugly to itself?
  • One of the top women players at Wimbledon was splattered with a haphazard assortment of little unrelated images and lines curving all over her formerly unblemished God-Given Body.
  • It looked like she had purchased a Do-It-Yourself Home Tattooing Machine that was defective. She took it home, turned it on and fell asleep while it had its defective way with her.

This woman looked even worse than the heavy-set Walmart Shopper I once saw that had emblazoned on her heavy-set upper arm a girl in a short skirt swirling around so her skirt flowed out as she swirled. The swirling girl did not have the head of a girl on top of her swirling body. Instead she had an octopus complete with all 8 tentacles up there where her head ought to have been.

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The Fix! (I Always Have A Fix)...

The Sport of Tennis ought to require that Tennis Players on TV wear the full uniform of what a Buffalo NFL Football Player would wear on a minus 25 degree day in Buffalo, NY. It gets really cold up there in Buffalo. Buffalo Football Players have been known to put on as much clothing as possible to keep from freezing in place. If all tennis players were dressed the same as Buffalo Football Players the body coverage would be so complete no Tattoos would be on Public Tennis Display.

Need I explain why I am so agitated about all of this? Think Basketball. It is so hard for me to watch NBA Basketball that I have taken to watching the games with my eyes closed because it hurts my eyeballs to watch them with my eyes open.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Who would have ever thought I would dare to mention God in a Blog Posting of mine but above I did just that. This God Mention got me thinking...Is it possible for God to be Sad? Is it possible for God to Shake His Head? Is it possible for God to Mumble? If the answer to these questions is yes, Fella thinks there is a good chance that God is looking down at us, looking sad, shaking his head (he is not shaking his head up and down) and mumbling to himself, “I made a big mistake. I should have mixed in some Common Sense with that Free Will Thing I came up with. I should have listened to the Ghost when he tried to warn me”.


Monday, July 24, 2023

The Job Comes With Perks

 

Excerpt from the Book & Movie named Donnie Brasco. He was a FBI Undercover Agent who infiltrated the Mafia in the late 70’s and early 80’s...

“Lefty,” Rossi says, “I understand how we all like to make money. But what is the actual advantage of being a wise guy?”

“Are you kidding? What the...Donnie, don’t you tell this guy nothing? Tony, as a wise guy you can lie, you can cheat, you can steal, you can kill people --- legitimately. You can do any goddamn thing you want, and nobody can say anything about it. Who wouldn’t want to be a wise guy?”

Wow!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Thursday, July 20, 2023

Federal Crimes Are Not All They Were Once Cracked Up To Be

Since I am The Noticer I noticed this on the back of a bottle of Household Cleaner in a Grocery Store...

It is a violation of Federal Law to use this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling.

Huh? Is it possible that our Federal Government (Our Rulers) is getting drunk with power? What’s going to be the penalty if we use this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling?

Ø We are going to go to jail for the rest of our lives? How many of us will commit suicide because we will find we can’t handle our fellow inmates laughing at us year after year after we tell them why we were sentenced to eat lunch next to them year after year?

Ø Will a Bureaucrat be assigned to us 24/7 to make sure we do not ever use a Household Cleaner for the rest of our lives?

Ø Will we commit suicide because we will be unable to bring ourselves to tell our fellow inmates why we were sentenced to eat lunch with them for the rest of our lives because we were afraid they would laugh at us for the rest of our lives?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

 


Monday, July 17, 2023

Things I Stumble Upon As I Stumble Around the Internet

 

Custer was awarded 2 different Medals of Honor for his heroics in the American Civil War.

Did you just say you didn’t know that and you want further proof?

OK. It says in the documentation that I stumbled across that Custer, who won 2 Medals of Honor in the Civil War, died at the Battle of the Little Big Horn.

What more proof do you need than that?

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Paul Harvey would have loved to tell the Rest of the Story about this one...

Ø The Custer we are talking about was Thomas W. Custer the younger brother of General George Armstrong Custer.

Ø Thomas Custer did win 2 Medals of Honor during the American Civil War for his actions in the Battles of Namozine Church on April 3, 1865 and Sayler's Creek on April 6, 1865.

Ø Thomas was 31 when he died at the Battle of the Little Big Horn along with his older much more famous brother General George Armstrong Custer.

That’s enough dead Custer Brothers who died at the Little Bighorn...Or is it?

Actually there was a third Custer who died in that battle...

George and Thomas' younger brother, Boston Custer was 27 years old when he died at the Little Bighorn.

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That’s not the end of it. There were 2 other Relatives of the General that also died there...

Ø Brother-In-Law James Calhoun 31

Ø Nephew Henry Armstrong Reed 18 (probably the youngest member of the 7th Calvary).

When is enough enough? George’s Mother Maria and Father Emanuel were still alive when the battle took place. It is hard to imagine their grief. I bet they thought it was more than enough.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Be careful. You could lose a lot of money if you decided to bet a lot of money trying to predict what my next Blog Posting was going to be about.


Friday, July 14, 2023

OK, You Want To Call A Waste Of Time Meeting. Well, It’s Going To Cost You...A Lot!

 
Shopify Threatens Workers with a $1,600 Price Tag for Pointless Meetings

The company’s new internal tool is part of a push to boost productivity by removing a projected 322,000 hours of meetings this year.

Shopify, an e-commerce platform, is putting a price tag on pointless meetings. The company is now charging employees $1,600 for each meeting that is deemed to be unproductive.

The new policy is an attempt to reduce the amount of time that employees spend in meetings. Shopify believes that many meetings are unnecessary and unproductive, and that this policy will help to free up employees' time so that they can focus on more important work.

The policy has been met with mixed reactions from employees. Some employees support the policy, arguing that it will help to reduce the number of unnecessary meetings. Others are critical of the policy, arguing that it is unfair and that it will discourage employees from scheduling meetings altogether.

It remains to be seen whether the new policy will be effective in reducing the number of pointless meetings at Shopify. However, the policy has certainly generated a lot of discussion about the value of meetings in the workplace.

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I once worked for a company that could have used this Pointless Meeting Policy.

It was so bad that, when I would get calls setting up new meetings I would say something like this to the callers...

I’m sorry but my contact with the company stipulates that I only am required to go to 2,792 meeting a year (I always said, 2,792). We are now into July and I passed my required maximum meeting number on April 23rd. I have not been to a meeting since that date and I am not coming to your meeting.

Of course, I went to the meetings. In my Mediocre Automotive Career I liked to Rock the Boat but did not have enough guts to Over Turn the Boat.

I am glad I did not Over Turn the Boat because that bit of Get Along “Wisdom” entitled me to a Mediocre Pension.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: At the company I worked for 322,000 hours of useless meeting time was a drop in the bucket. Shopify seems really serious about stopping their Pointless Meeting Epidemic which does appear to Fella to be of Epic Proportions. If these Shopify people had been in charge of trying to stop my former company's Pointless Meetings they would have set up Company Firing Squads.  

Thursday, July 13, 2023

I Said To My Favorite Bureaucrat

 

I said to my favorite bureaucrat, “Sidney, could you do me a favor? You have been writing Federal Government Documents since Franklin Delano Roosevelt was our President. You certainly know how to put words together into a meaningful and readable format. I have these here words that have been around a long time but I feel there must be a better way of saying what they have been saying all these years. They are simply outdated. I think they could use some brushing up. Would you help me say what they try to say but say it better?”

Sidney did not flinch. As always he was ready to help me out. I gave him what I was struggling with and in about 15 minutes he came back to me with his recommendation. It read...

“We respectfully petition, request, and entreat that due and adequate provision be made, this day and the date hereinafter subscribed, for the satisfying of these petitioners nutritional requirements and for the organizing of such methods of allocation and distribution as may be deemed necessary and proper to assure the reception by and for said petitioners of such quantities of baked cereal products as shall, in the judgment of the aforesaid petitioners, constitute a sufficient supply thereof”.

I stared at my friend Sidney’s proposed new words. I was shocked. I looked at him in disbelief but I saw from that pleased as punch look on his face he was extremely proud of the words he had put together for me. I did not know what to say but I blurted out the first thing that came into my head...

“Sidney, I thank you for your efforts but I now understand why the Members of our Congress do not read the bills that they send to the President to sign that end up becoming the laws we must live by. I think I will just leave the 7 words I gave to you as they were when I gave them to you 20 minutes ago. I’ve decided that Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread ain’t so bad after all”.

Sidney looked so hurt.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: The Presidents do not read the bills either.

Saturday, July 08, 2023

How Would You Like To Go To The Moon Depending On The Guidance Capabilities Of A Computer With A Hand Crank On Its Side?

An Old Posting Recalled...

Because I am old I am permitted under the International Rules of Blogging (Chapter 18, Page 15, Subsection 3b) to repost an old blog. This Old Blog Posting was sent out on July 9, 2018.

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In preparing for this bit of Foolishness, I found these 4 paragraphs...

On September 12, 1962, in front of a packed crowd in Rice University’s football stadium, President Kennedy was willing to propose the building of a giant rocket more than 300 feet tall, the length of a football field, made of new metal alloys, some of which have not yet been invented, capable of standing heat and stresses several times more than have ever been experienced, fitted together with a precision better than the finest watch.

In 1969 at the top of the Saturn Rocket was the Apollo spacecraft. One of the most important components inside of the Saturn was its guidance computer. The computer capacity of the mainframes in the Control Center [of NASA’s Manned Spacecraft Center in Houston] was smaller than that of the desktop systems of the 1980s, and the onboard computers in the command and lunar modules had less capacity than some pocket calculators.

The Apollo Guidance Computer, which weighed 70 pounds, had only 36K of RAM and 2K of ROM. But it was able to guide 27 men to the moon’s orbit and bring them back safely.

These billion-dollar satellites and spacecraft went into space with computational power that’s the equivalent of a Commodore 64 Home Computer (introduced in January 1982).

How Big Is Big?

A Million is big (a thousand thousand). Congress loves to spend Billions of Dollars (a thousand million). They are getting all too familiar with how easy it is to throw around Trillions of Dollars (a thousand billion). Once they find out that there is such a thing as a Quadrillion (a thousand trillion) all is lost.

In the world of computing there is a measure of computing speed called a Petaflop or the equivalent to One Thousand Trillion Calculations Each Second.

The Italian Oil Company ENI has a Supercomputer (the HPC4) that has capacity to do 18.6 Petaflops, and when combined with the existing HPC3, the system reaches a computational peak capacity of 22.4 Petaflops.

I may have lost you. Allow me to bring you back...

That’s 22.4 Thousand Trillion Calculations Each Second

If Apollo 11 had this kind of computing capacity it could have gone to the moon and back without leaving the launch pad.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: This reposting is being done on July 8, 2023. I bet computers are even faster now than they were when this Blog Posting was originally posted 5 years ago. If I said to a Real Computer Smartfella of today, "Can you believe it! There's a computer out there that can make 22.4 Thousand Trillion Calculations Each Second!" that Real Smartfella would say to this Imitation Smartfella, "That's nothing! The computers of today can...!"