I Said To My Favorite Bureaucrat

 

I said to my favorite bureaucrat, “Sidney, could you do me a favor? You have been writing Federal Government Documents since Franklin Delano Roosevelt was our President. You certainly know how to put words together into a meaningful and readable format. I have these here words that have been around a long time but I feel there must be a better way of saying what they have been saying all these years. They are simply outdated. I think they could use some brushing up. Would you help me say what they try to say but say it better?”

Sidney did not flinch. As always he was ready to help me out. I gave him what I was struggling with and in about 15 minutes he came back to me with his recommendation. It read...

“We respectfully petition, request, and entreat that due and adequate provision be made, this day and the date hereinafter subscribed, for the satisfying of these petitioners nutritional requirements and for the organizing of such methods of allocation and distribution as may be deemed necessary and proper to assure the reception by and for said petitioners of such quantities of baked cereal products as shall, in the judgment of the aforesaid petitioners, constitute a sufficient supply thereof”.

I stared at my friend Sidney’s proposed new words. I was shocked. I looked at him in disbelief but I saw from that pleased as punch look on his face he was extremely proud of the words he had put together for me. I did not know what to say but I blurted out the first thing that came into my head...

“Sidney, I thank you for your efforts but I now understand why the Members of our Congress do not read the bills that they send to the President to sign that end up becoming the laws we must live by. I think I will just leave the 7 words I gave to you as they were when I gave them to you 20 minutes ago. I’ve decided that Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread ain’t so bad after all”.

Sidney looked so hurt.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: The Presidents do not read the bills either.