Thursday, July 27, 2023

 

When I was young, if you saw a man with a Tattoo, it meant 2 things...

Ø He used to be in the Navy.

Ø One night, while he was in the Navy, he got drunk.

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If I told you that a new Richest Men in America List had just been published and 3 of the top 5 Richest Men were Tattoo Artists, would you believe me?

OK, I would not believe me either but Tattoos Are Everywhere and It Is Awful!

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While I was watching Wimbledon recently I got the shakes for fear of what the future of TV Tennis Watching is going to be like. If the Duke of Wimbledon were alive in his grave he would be rolling over because Tattoos are starting to appear on his tennis players and once they start appearing they are very hard to stop...

  • The real bad news is it looks as though new tattoos are appearing on women players at a faster rate than on men players.
  • Does it make me an awful person if I think that it’s not as bad if the male body is tattooed ugly but the female body ought not to be allowed to do ugly to itself?
  • One of the top women players at Wimbledon was splattered with a haphazard assortment of little unrelated images and lines curving all over her formerly unblemished God-Given Body.
  • It looked like she had purchased a Do-It-Yourself Home Tattooing Machine that was defective. She took it home, turned it on and fell asleep while it had its defective way with her.

This woman looked even worse than the heavy-set Walmart Shopper I once saw that had emblazoned on her heavy-set upper arm a girl in a short skirt swirling around so her skirt flowed out as she swirled. The swirling girl did not have the head of a girl on top of her swirling body. Instead she had an octopus complete with all 8 tentacles up there where her head ought to have been.

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The Fix! (I Always Have A Fix)...

The Sport of Tennis ought to require that Tennis Players on TV wear the full uniform of what a Buffalo NFL Football Player would wear on a minus 25 degree day in Buffalo, NY. It gets really cold up there in Buffalo. Buffalo Football Players have been known to put on as much clothing as possible to keep from freezing in place. If all tennis players were dressed the same as Buffalo Football Players the body coverage would be so complete no Tattoos would be on Public Tennis Display.

Need I explain why I am so agitated about all of this? Think Basketball. It is so hard for me to watch NBA Basketball that I have taken to watching the games with my eyes closed because it hurts my eyeballs to watch them with my eyes open.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Who would have ever thought I would dare to mention God in a Blog Posting of mine but above I did just that. This God Mention got me thinking...Is it possible for God to be Sad? Is it possible for God to Shake His Head? Is it possible for God to Mumble? If the answer to these questions is yes, Fella thinks there is a good chance that God is looking down at us, looking sad, shaking his head (he is not shaking his head up and down) and mumbling to himself, “I made a big mistake. I should have mixed in some Common Sense with that Free Will Thing I came up with. I should have listened to the Ghost when he tried to warn me”.


4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm having a t-shirt tattooed instead of my body. If I had a tattoo when I was in my 20's just think of what it would look like now that I'm in my late 70's. It would be losing color, droopy and sagging along with the folds and wrinkles in my beautiful smooth body (once upon a time). b.b.

Anonymous said...

When I was young, my great uncle who was in WW1 advised me to never get a tattoo. He showed me his and said “see, when you get old and wrinkled, you can’t tell what it is anymore”.

Anonymous said...

You are right I have seen some great looking chicks but when when they turn I see the tats running up their arm.

Anonymous said...

I once saw a tattooed lady at the circus, or was it a drunk sailor dressed as a woman? Oh well, in those days I was not trained well enough in gender identification to distinguish between either sexes or genders, or pronouns. Thankful that today whatever I saw (or thought I saw) can be explained away by what my truth was at the time based on feelings that were not triggered by not being in a safe space. Sometimes late at night, I do wonder if it was a tattooed lady. Sometimes, but not often.