CNN News Alert About Lack Of CNN News Alerts

CNN has just issued a very testy News Alert about why they have failed to cover the Atomic Bomb that destroyed New York City 3 days ago...

CNN is always first with the news that is most important to our listeners. You trust us to bring the news. We never have betrayed that trust.

With you in mind we have been covering the Disappearance of Malaysian Flight 370. We have given you every bit of Rumor, Unfounded Speculation, Wild Ass Guess, Uncorroborated Allegation and Water Cooler Scuttlebutt that was out there.

Some have been critical of our around the clock coverage but we have been dedicated to this major news story since it broke 3 weeks ago because we owe it to you our faithful listeners.

We are now coming under criticism because we have failed to mention that atomic bomb that destroyed New York City 3 days ago. Ah come on fellas, what do you want from us? NYC will be rebuilt before you know it.

We are content in the knowledge that one day this unfounded controversy will be forgotten and America will thank us for sticking to our principles and laboring to bring you the stories that we know in our hearts are most important to Our Loyal Listeners.

One final point sure to make our critics shut up and maybe even apologize. In dependent fact checkers have proven that 14% of what we reported concerning Flight 370 was based on Solid Factual Evidence.

Would I or CNN kid u?

Smartfella

(264)

I Just Had A Surprise Visit From Abbott & Costello

Abbott & Costello’s visit was a complete surprise because I was expecting the late Paul Harvey. They told me that Mr. Harvey had to stay behind to try and cheer up God because God has been very depressed lately about what He has wrought...Planet Earth.

It certainly was exciting to see Abbott & Costello standing here talking to me but their reason for coming to see me turned out to be very frustrating for them and, they had to admit, a complete failure.

The reason they came was to explain to me something they knew I was confused about...

Executive Orders that Give the Executive Order Signer Authority to Do What He Already Has the Authority to Do

They sensed my confusion about all of this (they are very good at sensing things up in heaven).

Our President yesterday signed an Executive Order to give himself the authority to impose further sanctions on Russia...

If he has the Executive Power to do something like this, why does he have to sign a piece of paper to give himself the authority to do what he must already have the authority to already do because he obviously has the authority to give himself the authority because he authorized himself to do it?

I sense you are confused and I’m not in heaven yet...

In other words, if he did not have the authority to do what he authorizes himself to do, he need not authorize himself to do it, therefore, why bother doing it?

I’m glad I took the time to clarify that for you.

Would it not save a lot of ink and paper to just sign an Executive Order to do whatever he wants to do?

If he gave himself the authority to do whatever he wants to do, it would also save a lot of Ceremonial Signing Time which is always a requirement when they sign things in Washington D.C.

I am now sensing that you are confused about what exactly Ceremonial Signing Times is. Please allow me to clarify...

Ceremonial Signing Time is where they gather all those Senators and Congressmen to stand behind the President while he signs all those things he signs.

Let’s face it, these Stand-Behind People, if they did not have to be standing behind, could get on with doing important things. Certainly they have important things to do...Or do they?

Actually Abbott & Costello got so confused they launched into their Who's On First Routine, which they said was easier to understand.

I had to agree with them, it was easier to understand.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(446)

You Have Always Dreamed About Doing This & Now, Thanks To Me, You Can See Your Dream Come True

I know that you have always wanted to go to New Orleans, buy a home and rent it out to tourists. It is amazing how I know these things but I just do. It’s a gift.

I and almost all of my family (18 of 20) just got back from 3 days in a rented house in New Orleans celebrating our 50 Year Wedding Anniversary. It was great!

I would have rented your house, if you had already bought it and had it available for me but you have been holding back and I know why. You have been worried about all those Electronic Connections you would have to set up to make your property acceptable for a modern home rental prospect (stereo system, wireless internet, television, security system, etc.).

Worry no more. I have taken the picture below of the electrical connections in my rented New Orleans house. Look at the picture and just do the same in your rental house and you will have lots of tourists with money in their hands lining up to make you rich.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(205)

They Want Us To Worry About Everything

As instructed, we have been worrying ever since 2008 about the Housing Construction Shortage in the Good Ole USofA. Now that housing construction has started to pick up, my TV is telling me that I should be concerned because there is a Skilled Labor Shortage and that this dire shortage is putting the housing recovery in serious jeopardy.

I have determined that I am not going to worry about the above. I am much more concerned about the real possibility that one of those hideously tattooed NBA Basketball Players might run in to me at the grocery store and that parts of his hideous tattoos might be transferred to my up-until-that-point pristine body.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(126)

Negotiating With Iran Is A Piece Of Cake... Or Is It?

My newspaper tells me...

The new round of diplomacy in Vienna aims to end what the West views as Iran’s pursuit of Nuclear Weapons.

Just to give a good ole Iranian kickoff to the talks the Iranian Supreme Leader said...

"We had announced previously that on certain issues, if we feel it is expedient, we would negotiate with the Satan (the United States) to deter its evil.”

This Ayatollah guy must have been a coffin maker before he got this current job because he really knows how to put the ole nail in the coffin...

“What our officials stated will continue. We will not renege but I will say again: There is no use....It will not lead anywhere.”

That having been said by their leader, other Senior Iranian Officials say...

They won’t accept any major curtailment of their Nuclear Ambitions.

Our diplomats are not fazed by such tough talk. A Senior American Diplomat who has just returned from a 3 year assignment as our ambassador to La La Land is quoted as saying...

“We don’t know if at the end of these six months, we will be able to achieve a comprehensive agreement, but we aim to.”

(This 27 Year Public Service Veteran had his government employment terminated because of the use of the word “aim” which implies violence.

His lame defense that he was talking about toothpaste was rejected by the Board of Review of Aggressive and Violent Language.

A spokesperson for the Board was quoted as saying, “Next thing you know we will be subjected to public officials saying that we have to give the American People a Fair Shot.”)

Before I get into explaining what all of the above really means, I have a You-Have-Got-To-Be-Kidding-Me Comment...

WhatTheHeckIsWrongWithUs? ... Before the talks begin the Iranians are sticking their thumbs in their ears, sticking their tongues out and wiggling their fingers at us and we say we intend for these “negotiations” to go on for 6 full months!?

None of you know that I have 24 years experience as a negotiator for our United Nations Contingent in New York. I know what all of the above really means. I am now about to permit you to be the beneficiary of my vast store of knowledge of international diplomacy.

(None of the above paragraph is true but it will still lend credence to what I have to say below. That’s the way things work in today’s Good Ole USofA.)

Here is what the Supreme Leader really means...

We are ready to undertake Significant and Long-Term Negotiations. We further agree that, when these negotiations are concluded, we will have agreed to a massive restructuring of our Nuclear Development Program (aks: The Wiper which stands for Wipe Israel Off the Face of the Earth).

We do this all in good faith as long as it is understood upfront that, once these Significant and Long-Term Negotiations are concluded, our Nuclear Development Program will remain completely unchanged and will be fully intact as it was before we granted you the privilege of negotiating with us, except for the progress we have made in developing Nuclear Weapons during the Negotiations.

Furthermore you must agree upfront that you will not express any semblance of surprise when, at the closing ceremonies, we stick our collective thumbs in our collective ears, stick our collective tongues out and wiggle our many collective fingers at you.

What? Did I really just hear you say that you don’t think I know what I am talking about?

Check back with me in 6 months.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(609)

The Secret Of How To Stay Married For 50 Years

My wife and I have been married to each other for 50 years, so I speak from experience.

I realized the secret of staying happily married for such a long time when my wife and I were enjoying our first dinner on the recent trip we took to celebrate our 50th Wedding Anniversary.

During the dinner she said to me...

"I don't want any of the salami. You can eat it all. I like the cheese, jams and the raisin beard."

Sure there are a few other secrets but this is certainly one of the big ones.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(113)

Longing To Be Recognized As A Great Writer

Dr. Charles Krauthammer has furthered my wealth of knowledge with this bit of information...

“Even the tried-and-true may not be true. Take the average adult temperature. Everyone knows it’s 98.6 F. Except that when some enterprising researchers actually did the measurements – rather than rely on the original 19th-century German study – they found that it’s actually 98.2.”

It’s interesting to know what I now know about the Average Adult Temperature but that’s not what caught my eye. It’s the part about...

How tried-and-true just might not be true.

I really find that to be interesting and I am now determined to get me one of those Tried and True Thingies along the lines of...

A Bit of Foolishness a Day Keeps Depression Away

If I could get this accepted as a Tried and True Universally Accepted Saying I would sell a lot of books, even if Dr. Krauthammer might later find out it was not true.

As you well know my little-read book, Foolishness...Or Is It? Volume 1 has been published for some time now. You did not know about the Volume 1 part did you? You did not know because I have not let it be known that a Volume 2 was a possibility.

Volume 1 has 90 blog postings in it. Every time I have made a new posting after Volume 1 had been published, I have placed these new postings in a folder called, “Next Book”. At present there are 575 postings in that folder waiting to burst forth as Volumes 2 through Volume 6.388888888888889.

(It was a sad day when I realized that 94 books sold is not enough to make it to the New York Time Best Seller List.)

There are simply not enough copies of Volume 1 nestled in the bathrooms of America to justify publication of Volume 2.

Pay attention here! The ugly truth is it is your fault that more copies have not been sold!

For years I have asked all of you, as loyal readers, to spread the word about my little Bathroom Book but you have failed. Many a time I pleaded with you to, Click on "Buy My Book At..." on top of my Blog to buy a book and then send the link to friends or enemies who have $10.

If only my readers had more enemies, I would not be stuck here in between this rock and this hard place.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(416)

Should Have Published This One Yesterday

Correction to the Subject Title above... Publication today is very appropriate because the hysteria described below is still whirling all about us but there is light at the end of the tunnel because I have just been told that Chain Saw Strike Forces have been deployed.

I have been watching TV during Atlanta’s ongoing Dire Situation ... Winter Storm Emergency ... Catastrophic Ice Storm ... Significant Ice Event ... Severe Snow Storm ... Perpetual Constant Snow. I did not make any of these descriptions up, especially the last one.

Every TV channel is going nuts about the weather.

The frantic reporting is being interrupted by such News Alerts as, “Look, Hazel, we actually have icicles on our camera!” (Nor I did not make this News Alert up. I only added the “Look, Hazel” in order to humanize it.)

We are being shown pictures of empty roads all over the metropolitan area. Any car that that is seen on the road they immediately declare the driver to be an Enemy of the State. I wonder how these Microphone Holding Mental Midgets know that the driver does not have a valid reason to be on the road...

• How did the hospital staff get to the hospital?
• How did the Waffle House Egg Flippers get to their beloved Waffle Houses?
• How did the 3,000 TV Microphone Holding People with their funny looking emergency winter hats on their heads that they just bought from Wal-Mart (some still have the price tags hanging from them) get to their assigned microphone holding position?

The first rule for people with the microphones is that they have to keep talking while the camera is rolling (I guess the cameras do not roll any longer but you get my drift). They are not allowed to breath during their time on camera. This lack of oxygen sometimes causes strange things to come out of their usually eloquent mouths. Here is good example...

"We are here to keep you safe but most of all keep you informed."

Don'tYaThink he got that one backwards?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(347)

That’s Awful!

According to a column in my local newspaper by a Kathleen Parker of the Washington Post:

• Since 1985 the consumer price index has gone up 121%. That’s awful!
• Since 1985 Medical Costs have gone up 286%. That’s 165 Percentage Points Higher than the consumer price index. That’s worst than awful!
• Since 1985, according to a new study from the American Council of Trustees and Alumni (ACTA) a nonprofit and nonpartisan research group, the price of higher education has gone up 538%. (I will leave out another “awful!” comment about 538% being awful! because I don’t want to be too repetitious.)

Maybe we ought to stop calling it “Higher” Education. The use of the word “Higher” sort of dictates that it has to cost more every year, otherwise it would not truly be Higher Education.

If they changed the name to Lower Education, that might help for a while but Lower Education does not have a good ring to it and I doubt that those smart people who run our institutes if Higher Education would be tricked into lowering their tuitions.

As per usual, I really do have an idea to fix this Escalating Higher Education Cost Trend from getting Higher. What the Federal Government needs to do is subsidize the cost of Higher Education to make Higher Education more affordable for the folks back home.

What’s that you say? Did I hear you say that this subsidy idea has already been tried? Where have I been? Guess I ought to pay closer attention.

How’s my idea working out?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(269)

Am I The Only One Who Understands Good Business Practices?

In an article in the Wall Street Journal I read that across the country companies have been slow to add capacity to meet growing demand as the U.S. economy has picked up but, even when they have added jobs, they often add as few jobs as possible.

The guy who wrote this article seemed to be somewhat confused as to why businesses were not adding more jobs.

This makes perfect sense to the Smartfella. What kind of businessman would be so unwise as to add more jobs than his business can support?

I do not believe a sharp thinking businessman would say something like this, “My business has improved to the point where I can justify hiring 15 new employees, therefore, I have decided to hire 25 additional employees which I know my business can’t support.”

It is the same situation with that $6,000 tax credit some politicians have been touting. What mental business midget would say, “I’m going to hire a $35,000 a year employee that my sales volume can’t support so I can get a $6,000 Tax Credit from the Federal Government. I’m going make this type of action an integral part of my hiring practices and it will make my business prosper for sure!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(223)

Be They...

Regarding the Subject above, the full title of this blog is, “Be They Democrat or Republican or Liberal or Conservative or Libertarian or Independent or a Member of the Whig Party, These People Ought To Give Back Their Salaries For This Date January 28, 2014”.

There you go again saying to yourself, “What the heck is he talking about?”

Please allow he (me) to explain...

I heard on the radio on my drive home just now that many of the people (House or Senate) who line the aisle where the president will walk into the chamber tonight to give his State of the Union Address got there at 9AM today to “reserve” their seat.

They sat there all day, except when their munitions sat in their place while they went to the restroom.

They were paid hard earned tax dollars today to do something of consequence and this is what they chose to do.

The good news is they will be on TV tonight reaching and clutching the president’s hand and their constituents will see them making fools out of themselves.

The bad news is their constituents will look on them with admiration and vote them back into office in the next election.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(211)

Sometimes I Am Proud As Can Be About What I Do Not Know

According to Apple, in 2013 Candy Crush Saga was the smash hit game that millions played on subways, while waiting at the bank or while hanging around the house and it was the No. 1 most downloaded free app for the iPhone.

The game itself has over 500 million downloads and has been played over 150 billion times.

Those numbers are staggering. I’ll repeat them for the scan readers out there... Over 500 million downloads! (That’s 500 thousand thousand times!) & Played over 150 billion times! (That’s 150 thousand million times!).

In my not so humble opinion such endeavors are a staggering waste of time.

What's wrong with us?...

• Who is going to find the cure for cancer?
• Who is going to go to Mars?
• Who is going to write the next Great American Novel Kindle Book?
• Who is going to leap buildings in a single bound?

I guess I better start practicing my leaping because I appear to be one of the few not playing Candy Crush Saga.

What have you been doing with yourself? On second thought, you don’t need to tell me. I can see from here that you have sticky fingers.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(218)

Preemptive Disarray

Headline on an article in my newspaper today...

Syrian Talks In Disarray Before They Begin

I guess this is what comes about when you have the delegates shouting at each other outside the meeting place... “Do you think I will ever forget what your ancestors did to my ancestors in the year 1245?”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(61)

TBTJ

A lot of famous and/or influential people are sitting around their big houses doing absolutely nothing and they need help.
They could leave their big houses but they can’t leave their big houses because they are part of our Judicial System’s Too Big to Jail (TBTJ) Incarceration Program.
Our court system is sending a whole mess of our fellow citizens back to their big homes under House Arrest.
These people need someone to go to the Grocery Store for them. The need someone to go get Chinese Food or Pizzas for them. They need people to walk their Little White Dogs. They need people to bring in their Newspapers from their massive front lawns. They need Escort Service People to be brought in to escort them around their big houses.
The bottom line is they need the Judicial System necessitated equivalent of Visiting Angels.
Heck, the potential economic stimulus from these much needed businesses springing up all over the Good Ole USofA could turn around this economy all by itself.
We have been trained to know that Big Box, Big Oil, Big Banks, Big Data and their ilk are bad. In this case the Big Wigs and satisfying their Big Needs may yet save us all.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
Lagniappe: Big Noodle
(214)

This Is Not An Attack Upon Our Undocumented Citizens

Undocumented Aliens or is it? Undocumented Immigrants or is it? Undocumented Workers or is it? Undocumented Voters or is it? Undocumented Citizens are in the news enough without my piling on. So I will not use my Silly Pulpit to add pile onto the pile.

What I do wish to do is direct this blog posting’s mind bending analysis at a cautionary tale about common sense or the lack thereof in the Good Ole USofA.

Here is a recent headline in my newspaper...

California Allowing Undocumented Immigrants to Practice Law

California Chief Justice Tani Cantil-Sakauye wrote that current immigration policy makes it extremely unlikely that a law abiding individual such as Garcia (the undocumented individual) would be deported.

Under these circumstances, we conclude that the fact that an undocumented immigrant’s presence in this country violates federal statutes is not itself a sufficient or persuasive basis for denying undocumented immigrants, as a class, admission to the State Bar.

I don’t want to be a Quibbler but did you take note of Her Honorable’s Words where she says that the law abiding individual (first paragraph) is violating federal law (second paragraph)? And I’m the one who has the reputation for being silly. Go figure.

Allow me to carry such “thinking” on to its Logical Foolish Conclusion...

• Vandals broke a bunch of windows in an office building and the court ruled that it was not really a crime because the building had a lot of other windows.
• Running a stop sign is not a crime because, even if the driver had looked for oncoming cars, there were, in fact, no oncoming cars.
• Man had 2 wives but the court ruled in his favor because the wives lived in 2 different states that were geographically distant from each other and there was little to no possibility that the 2 wives would run across each other while shopping at the grocery store.

OK I’m done with the silly... Or am I?

One thing is certain. This Undocumented Immigrant Lawyer will certainly be immune from any action against him for Legal Malpractice. If anyone tries to bring any such action against him, he will get away unscathed by simply telling the court, “You can’t bring any Legal Malpractice Action against me because I’m not even a citizen of this country. Have a nice day.”

Case dismissed.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(408)

Alger & Jerry

Many of you may not remember who Alger Hiss was. All of you know who Jerry Sandusky is. The two of them have something very much in common. Have I aroused your curiosity? I sure hope so.

Alger Hiss was convicted of being a Soviet Spy. The prior sentence is not true. He was convicted and sent to jail but he was convicted of Perjury.

Here I go again getting all hot and bothered about our Judicial System...

The record of negligence was almost too flagrant to believe. A guy named Whittaker Chambers first made his charges about Hiss in 1939 and he repeated them to government officials several times thereafter. Yet as far as the public record is concerned, the only action taken on his charges until the House Committee on Un-American Activities started its investigation in 1948, was to promote each of the individuals Chambers had named to higher positions of power and influence within the government.

The most damning proof of negligence on the part of the Executive Branch was that Hiss himself had to be indicted and convicted not for espionage, the crime of which he was originally guilty, but for perjury—for lying when he denied committing espionage. The statute of limitations, requiring prosecution for espionage within three years after the crime had been committed, had already long expired.

He was sent to jail for a total of 10 years but served less than 4 years.

Alger had been disbarred but was reinstated to the bar years later. This is what was written about his reinstatement when he was undisbarred ...

On August 5, 1975, Hiss was readmitted to the Massachusetts Bar. The state's Supreme Judicial Court overruled its Committee of Bar Overseers and stated in a unanimous decision that, despite his conviction, Hiss had demonstrated the "moral and intellectual fitness" required to be an attorney. Hiss was the first lawyer ever readmitted to the Massachusetts bar after a major criminal conviction.

Don’t you just love (hate) the part where it says that, even though he had been convicted of a Major Criminal Offense, he demonstrated the “moral and intellectual fitness" required to be an attorney.

------------------------

As a young congressman Richard Nixon was doggedly instrumental in getting Hiss convicted. He withstood tremendous pressure because Hiss had been around a long time and had a lot of friends. One on his biggest supporters was Harry S. Truman.

In a sad and funny note, it was reported that a politically well connected lady from the state of New York said, when asked if she voted for Nixon years later when he ran for something or other, that she would not ever vote for him because Nixon was all mixed up with Alger Hiss in that Spying Scandal.

-------------------------

After Hiss got out of jail, he applied for and received his government pension for his years of service in government...

Provided you, my dear reader, have been paying attention (and you always do, don’t you), you are saying to yourself about now, “What does all this Alger Hiss stuff have to do with Jerry Sandusky?”

I will not spend as much time on Jerry as I did on Alger but I will do a quick refresher...

• Jerry was convicted of 45 counts of Child Sexual Abuse.
• In other areas I read where his crimes were referred to as Involuntary Deviate Sexual Intercourse and Indecent Assault.
• He was sentenced to 30 to 60 years in prison.

What Alger and Jerry have in common is that Jerry is applying for reinstatement of his $4,900 a month Pension from Penn State.

Too bad Alger died in 1996. If Alger were still around Jerry could use his expertise in pension reclamation and Alger could handle Jerry’s appeal case because Alger, as you remember, was a Lawyer in good standing.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(651)

Another Sure Fire Get Rich Quick Plan

Retroactive to last Thursday and continuing for two weeks, get someone to pay you $0.25 every time the word “Christie” was/will be Spoken on TV, Published in a News Article or Mentioned on the Internet.

You will be stinking rich at the end of these two weeks even if you subtract $1.00 for each time the most Recent Target Word at the center of the last News Hysteria to which we were subjected was Spoken, Published or Mentioned.

I would give you that Target Word to prove my point but I can’t remember the Hysteria or the Word. I would be willing to bet you can’t remember either.

Does that tell you something?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(126)

My Visit To A Big Box Hardware Store

Where Did That Guy Go?

The other day I walked into one of those big box hardware stores and, as usual, was greeted at the door by a smiling welcoming man wearing an apron. He was very nice. He said hello. He asked if there were any directions he could give me.

I declined his helpful offer and walked past him. After I got 5 to 6 steps past the helpful apron guy I remembered what I had come into his store for and realized that I did need his helpful directions. I turned around to seek his assistance and he was gone.

I thought this was strange and I actually began to feel as if I was in the Twilight Zone. I brushed this uneasy feeling away and moved on with my quest.

After a while I realized I was not getting anywhere and I started looking for a helpful guy with an apron on to assist me.

I went to the next aisle and, as I turned into the aisle, I saw at the end of the aisle a helpful guy turning out of my aisle at the end of my aisle.

This happened several times more before I got that Twilight Zone feeling again.

Every aisle I turned into I saw the apron guy turning out of that aisle at the end of that aisle. At this point I started to panic.

I began sprinting as fast as I could but when I got to the end of the aisle and made the turn into the next aisle I repeatedly found myself looking at the back of a turning helpful apron guy at the end of my aisle.

In a state of exhaustion I stumbled out of my Big Box Hardware Store feeling rather befuddled.

I decided to go to Mom & Pop’s Hardware Store to get what I needed but when I got to their store I found they gone out of business.

At this point I just sat in my car screaming a silent scream like Al Pacino did on the steps of that Big Box Church at the end of Godfather III and, in the midst of my silent scream, I heard Rod Serling laughing.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(385)

Please, Mr. Correct, Give Us A Break!

This guy Mr. Correct (as in Mr. Politically Correct) is running amuck. (I just love the word “amuck”. It is almost as neat as “ilk”.)

We (the collective us) are falling all over ourselves trying to keep Mr. Correct and all his adherents at arm’s length. We are apologizing for things we said, for things we did not say, for things we should have said and for things we might have said had we said them.

There you go thinking I am the one running amuck about Mr. Correct and his muckiness. Allow me to illustrate my point:

The Indian Attacks Are Back...

No, we do not have to circle the wagons. It’s not that kind of attack. We are back to being pilloried about the perceived disrespect of naming anything after anything Native American (formerly known as American Indian).

The hottest example at this time is the Washington Redskins Football Team (as if they did not have enough problems with the football). The hysteria is showing its absurdity by a court case brought against Hampton Farms Redskin Peanuts.

This case got all the way to the Supreme Court of the United States before the indignant clutch of lawyers doing the suing were quieted down long enough to explain to them that “redskins” in this case referred to the natural skin covering of the peanut that is revealed once the shell has been removed.

The delay in the hysteria was only temporary. The lawyers and the sign carriers quickly convened a Focus Group and they are now finalizing their plans to sue Mother Nature or God Himself.

People of this ilk (see I told you “ilk” was neat) like to go right to the top and are leaning toward suing God. The one thing holding them back is their concern that God might not exist. They see Mother Nature as more of a sure thing.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Happy New Year

I Would Not Want To Be This Guy

(I have been prodded to publish today by a dear reader who I have caused to have withdrawal pains because of my inactivity... “Starting to worry about you with no foolishness for so long but even Matthew, Mark, Luke & John took breaks”.)

The Federal Government has finally admitted that the Federal Government is not as Efficient as the Private Sector.

It is hard to believe that our rulers let this one slip. I wonder if the minion who actually wrote the words admitting this undeniable truth likes his new bleak musty windowless surroundings.

That sucker is now so far underground that, when the bad guys blow everything up, his treasured William Shakespeare Bobble Head Doll, which always sits on his desk, will not bob its little head in the slightest.

 

This is what was reported in the Wall Street Journal on Monday December 2, 2013...

• Health & Human Services had released an 8 page report claiming that it had met its promise to fix the HealthCare.gov Web Site by 11/30/13.
• There is a line in the report that boasted, “The team is operating with private sector velocity and effectiveness”.

There you have it! Our beloved Federal Government has finally admitted that the Private Sector is better than the Public Sector.

This awesome admission was followed by the chirping of crickets as no one noticed but the Smartfella and you... Or did you?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella