Should Have Published This One Yesterday

Correction to the Subject Title above... Publication today is very appropriate because the hysteria described below is still whirling all about us but there is light at the end of the tunnel because I have just been told that Chain Saw Strike Forces have been deployed.

I have been watching TV during Atlanta’s ongoing Dire Situation ... Winter Storm Emergency ... Catastrophic Ice Storm ... Significant Ice Event ... Severe Snow Storm ... Perpetual Constant Snow. I did not make any of these descriptions up, especially the last one.

Every TV channel is going nuts about the weather.

The frantic reporting is being interrupted by such News Alerts as, “Look, Hazel, we actually have icicles on our camera!” (Nor I did not make this News Alert up. I only added the “Look, Hazel” in order to humanize it.)

We are being shown pictures of empty roads all over the metropolitan area. Any car that that is seen on the road they immediately declare the driver to be an Enemy of the State. I wonder how these Microphone Holding Mental Midgets know that the driver does not have a valid reason to be on the road...

• How did the hospital staff get to the hospital?
• How did the Waffle House Egg Flippers get to their beloved Waffle Houses?
• How did the 3,000 TV Microphone Holding People with their funny looking emergency winter hats on their heads that they just bought from Wal-Mart (some still have the price tags hanging from them) get to their assigned microphone holding position?

The first rule for people with the microphones is that they have to keep talking while the camera is rolling (I guess the cameras do not roll any longer but you get my drift). They are not allowed to breath during their time on camera. This lack of oxygen sometimes causes strange things to come out of their usually eloquent mouths. Here is good example...

"We are here to keep you safe but most of all keep you informed."

Don'tYaThink he got that one backwards?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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