If you are a person who has a hard time acquiring money or, once acquired, you can’t seem to control your spending of it, you are about to have all your prayers answered.
I saw the sign below in the window of a local business. If this is the Tip of the Iceberg, you will never have to worry about money ever again...
I admit I have only seen this sign in one single window but, trust me on this one, have I ever kidded you before?
Smartfella
If I said...
It is impossible to have a logical discussion with someone of the Islamic Faith
...many people would tell me that I am using a Broad Brush and I am wrong to do that.
They would be right, however, please read the quote below from my newspaper of 2/15/13 and, at the very least, agree with this Politically Corrected Statement of my Broad Brush Statement above...
It is sometimes hard to have a proper meeting of minds with a well-meaning proponent of the Islamic Faith
To Prove My Contention...
On Valentine’s Day there were protests in Pakistan over the celebration of Valentine’s Day. Here is what a spokesman for the protestors had to say about his fellow protestor’s protest...
Valentine's Day is against Islamic culture. In our view, relationships are sacred. We have arranged marriages in this culture and people don't get married for love.*
Did you just say I am still painting with a broad brush? If you did, I give up.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
* I did not make up this statement.
There has been much discussion about being forced to cut money for Policeman, Fireman, the Military, Border Patrol Agents, Prisons, Federal Prosecutors, Airport Traffic Controllers, Teachers, Food for Children, Vaccines for Children and Soccer Balls for Children.
The Smartfella is here to tell you that the first thing they will cut in the Big Meeting today is going to be Money for Egypt...Or will it be?
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
Jermaine Jackson has changed his name from Jackson to Jacksun. Since he is a celebrity, I know you think he had a good and logical motivation for deciding to tell the world he forgot how to spell.
According to his attorney, this is his good and logical motivation...
“Artistic Reasons”
This is probably Modern Art. I never did understand Modern Art.
His attorney went on to say, "If Prince and P. Diddy can do it why can't and shouldn't Jermaine?"
Since the attorney brought up Prince and P. Diddy, I will now demonstrate the “Artistic Thinking” of these two Clear Thinking and Inspirational American Celebrities.
========================
Prince has Artistically Tinkered with his name as follows...
Ø Jamie Starr
Ø Christopher
Ø Alexander Nevermind
Ø Joey Coco
Ø 
(This research has been very educational for me. I learned is The Love Symbol.)
Ø The Artist Formerly Known As Prince
Ø The Artist
Prince also ventured into “inspiring” us about religion...
In June 2011, Prince was quoted in The Guardian as saying "It's fun being in Islamic countries, to know there's only one religion. There's order. You wear a burqa. There's no choice. People are happy with that."
========================
Now, that I have completely confused you, I will move on to P. Diddy. This ought to really get your head spinning.
Rapper Sean Combs (the name his inartistic parents gave him) started in the game as Puff Daddy before becoming known as...
Ø Puffy
Ø Puff
Ø P. Diddy
Ø Diddy
Ø King Combs
Ø Sean John
Ø For one week, he wanted to be known as Swag.
For those who have been hiding under a hip-hop culture rock for the past few years, "swag" is short for "swagger" and according to the Urban Dictionary is defined as, "How one presents him or herself to the world."
Temporary Swag announced the change via his official Twitter Account and even set up a New Twitter Account to reflect his temporaryness.
"I decided that I’m gonna change my name for a week in honor of my comeback," he said on a video he released. "I’ve gone as Puff, Puffy, Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Diddy, King Combs – my real name is Sean Combs – and for a week, this week only, you can call me by my new name, Swag.”
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After reading about Prince & P. Diddy you might think they are Silly. If you do not think they are Silly, then you are the one being Foolish this time around.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
I do not normally publish two blog postings in a single day but many members of our 13% Approval Rated Congress have contacted me asking for some words of encouragement. I always like to help out where I can.
Before I throw the numbers at you and them, allow me to try to explain why I am confused about my confusion.
My newspaper tells me that the Republicans & the Democrats & the President are arguing about cutting $85,000,000,000 (Billion) out of a $3,800,000,000,000 (Trillion) Budget.
The root of my confusion can be summed up in the question, What Budget? Congress has not passed a Budget in years.
Oh, I beg your pardon, I just figured it out. In Washington D.C. thinking, “Budget” does not mean the limit of what Congress is Allowed To Spend. It means the total amount of money that it Intends To Spend.
========================
Again I will digress into a further futile attempt to educate our Congress about numbers...
85 Billion Is 85 Thousand Million
3.8 Trillion Is 3.8 Thousand Billion
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Now that I have gotten that off my heavily loaded chest, I will switch from Expenses to Income and explain why A Molehill Is A Molehill. I always like to try and get our 12% Approval Rated Congress (just went down a point) to look on the bright side...
Here is where I attempt to get our Congress to look on the bright side...
My dear Members of Congress, think of it this way: This means that the Tax Payer (formerly known as a Citizen) in my example above still retains $97,763 that he can pay in taxes.
I feel better knowing that those members of Congress who read my Blog on a regular basis and those who called me for encouragement can sleep better tonight.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
No matter what your political persuasion, I would hope that all my readers would agree that this is an awful thing to say about the people who spend their lives trying to heal the sick.
I found this quote in defense of Obamacare in the USA Today...
"The total cost of care will go down per patient because hospital chains will no longer have an incentive to keep patients sick."
Do they really think that the Medical Profession in this country is this depraved?
If the people who think this way ever get a Dire Debilitating Disease, I really doubt they will go lay in a hammock on their back porch where they will be safe from the evils of a visit to a hospital.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
If you click on the link below, you can read about how one Senator in one year saved $600,000 in the expenditures needed to run his Senate Office by being frugal...
$600,000 times 435 Members of Congress Equals $261,000,000 a Year
That, my dear readers, is more than a drop in the bucket. That is a Good Start.
Click Here: http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/feb/21/rand-paul-writes-600k-check-us-treasury/
========================
I know I have many Economists in my list of readers and I know every one of them just said, “On the other hand (Economists love to say, “On the other hand” 
), Smartfella, $261,000,000 is not a lot of money. Our Post Office loses that much money in only 10.44 days”.*
* Source: Reuters News Agency February 20, 2013...”the Postal Service losing roughly $25 million a day as more Americans opt for email and the Internet for communication”.
In my ongoing attempt to be completely forthcoming with my readers please understand I added the underline to the words “a day”.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
There are many among us who appear to have a burning desire to put Wal-Mart completely out of business.
If Wal-Mart were actually done away with I feel quite certain that Congress would feel obligated to create a subsidy whereby all abandoned Wal-Mart Customers would receive a reimbursement from the U.S. Treasury for all the money they would have saved at Wal-Mart if only Wal-Mart had not gone out of business.
Picture in your mind’s eye how many people who never set foot into a Wal-Mart and who actively campaigned against Wal-Mart’s very existence would be frantically filling out the Wal-Mart Economic Hardship Reimbursement Form.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
Now you can be the first on your block to fully understand Sequester. Read carefully. It is complicated. Congress likes it that way.
This Is The Introduction...
This Is The Smartfella Telling You How Smart A Fella He Is...
You may remember I recently blogged about my Spend & Tax Proposal for Congress. I thought I was being silly. I did not know that that’s exactly what Congress made a practice of doing. If you want to refresh your memory about my silly but true blog, click here... http://forii.blogspot.com/2013/01/all-this-time-congress-has-had-it.html
Expansion Of The Introduction Above Before I Interrupted Myself To Tell You How Smart I Was...
As Usual Our Duly Elected Snidely Whiplashes (Congress) Steps In and Messes Things Up...
The Bottom Line...
Let’s Look At All of This in A Little Different Way
Did your 5th Grader just walk into your computer
room and say, “What are you doing?” Rather than trying to explain all of the above (which I am certain you fully comprehended), tell the little tyke to read these hypothetical 5th grade bullets below...
The only parts of this entire blog posting that are complete fabrications are the lines that say “everyone agrees”. That never happens. 
Now do you understand how Congress works?
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
If the Postal Service can save $2 Billion by not delivering mail on Saturday, could they not save another $10 Billion if they discontinued delivering mail on Monday through Friday?
Don’t question me on this one. Father Hatrel told me in 1957, “Smartfella, mathematics is an exact science”.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
When something bad is about to happen we ought to be told so we can take action to prevent the bad thing from affecting us in a negative way.
It does not work this way with the Stock Market. The people in charge of issuing depressing news about the economy have been working overtime for quite a while but the Stock Market seems to be paying no attention.
It seems like we are Alice and we have stumbled into WonderWhat’sGoingOnLand...
For years now they have been making lots of Dire Predictions. The direr they make their Dire Predictions the more the Stock Market goes up.
The Smartfella (who has been proven to know something about some things) is here to tell you...
Do not put all your eggs into the Stock Market. By far a sounder course of action would be to put your eggs (money) in a coffee can and bury the can in your back yard. When you dig the can up, your money may stink but at least you will have stinky money.
I am one of the millions of people who like to say, “I told you so”. If you ignore me and decide to trust the Stock Market, when it all comes apart, I am warning you here and now, Stay Out Of My Back Yard!
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
The Pope is resigning and the Smartfella predicted this very happening on September 24, 2012.
The specific part of that blog posting that addressed the Pope resigning is in blue below...
At present we have a rash of shows that start with the word “The”...
The View, The Chat, The Chew, The Five, The Talk, The Doctors, The Voice
If you have been reading my blog for a while, you know that I have spies all over the world. My sources tell me that Pope Benedict XVI has decided to become the first Pope to resign without first having to die.
He is especially disillusioned because he goes to great effort to visit many different countries and prepares very inspiring speeches which he hopes will go a long way toward making the world we live in a better place. However, his messages are never reported in the news. The only things ever reported in the news are that he went on a trip and he kissed the ground when he got off his Pope Plane. His messages of hope and inspiration are World Wide Well Kept Secrets.
If you think about this for a minute, you will realize that this is not Foolishness.
There is one exception to this Papal Information Ban. If he gets shot, that will make the 24 Hour News Cycle.
He will be relocating to California. He is really excited and has already bought a Puka Shell Necklace and 3 pairs of White Flip Flops.
What’s he going to do in California, you ask? Don’t you see it coming? He is going to have a Daytime Television Talk Show. It’s going to be called...
The Pope
Would I kid u?
It seems I was wrong when I said above, “Pope Benedict XVI has decided to become the first Pope to resign without first having to die”.
The news today tells me the last one to step down did his stepping down in the Middle Ages. Please forgive me. This is the only time I have ever been wrong about anything in the long storied history of writing Foolishness...Or Is It? ... Or is it?
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
We are constantly being told on TV, in the Newspapers and on the Radio that we are mortgaging our children and our grandchildren’s futures.
In the interest of accuracy I think all these news outlets ought to be required to add on... “and our great grandchildren’s futures”. 😟
I wish I were kidding u.
Smartfella
An article in the Wall Street Journal of January 28, 2013 on page A2 painted a dire picture of where us folks in the Good Ole USofA feel we can go to for factual information that we can trust.
A survey by the University of Chicago Booth School of Business and Northwestern’s Kellogg School of Management showed...
A June 2012 Gallop Poll showed...
A September 2012 Gallop Poll showed...
I have one question about the last bullet above. How in the heck do 50% of us still have faith that the Government is going to be able to solve our Domestic Problems?
Have I knocked your dobber in the dirt completely?
The article goes on to say that Government Regulators do not trust the businesses they regulate and, when this is the case, they regulate them more. Woe is us!
Well at least a picture is still worth a thousand words and can always be trusted because you can see it with your own eyes.
If ever they invent something like Photoshop we are going to add pictures to the list of things that we can’t trust.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
According to the federal government...
Two Too Bads...
What’s that you say? Did you just say to your computer screen that I am all wet again because our heads do turn left and right and we do have a 24 Hours News Cycle?
I find this hard to believe because, if what you just said about what I just said were true, there is no way we would be moving more and more towards Legalization of Marijuana.
The world has experimented for us but we are determined to not see the awful result of their tinkering. We are determined to do what they did and trust the results will be different...
Did you notice the last part of the bullet above where it says, “The law was rescinded”? They took back their mistake. They said, “Oops!”
Over here in the Good Ole USofA we look right at their screw ups and say, “Dat’s Kool! Why can’t we be forward thinking like those European Type People?”
Here’s hoping we can learn to be clearer thinking in the future. That way we could learn from the steps they will take when they start putting their society back together and we could follow their example when we attempt to put our society back together.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
This happens all the time...
One side of an argument presents irrefutable, undeniable and conclusive numbers that prove that their position is irrefutably, undeniably and conclusively correct.
The interviewer seems skeptical and says, “Where did you get your numbers?”
The Position Taker confidently says, “The Non-Partisan Congressional Budget Office”.
The interviewer has no comeback because the numbers came from the Non-Partisan Congressional Budget Office.
The show goes to commercial break.
After the break a representative of the other side of the argument is sitting there smiling where the first side of the argument guy sat smiling before the commercial break.
The Other Side of the Argument Guy presents his argument using irrefutable, undeniable and conclusive numbers that prove that his position is irrefutably, undeniably and conclusively correct.
The interviewer really seems skeptical now and says, “Where did you get your numbers?”
The Other Side Guy confidently says, “The Non-Partisan Congressional Budget Office”.
The interviewer has no comeback because the numbers came from the Non-Partisan Congressional Budget Office.
There is the possibility that the first side utilized a systematized transitional projection to reach its irrefutable position and the second side had the benefit of synchronized monitored contingency that made their argument bullet-proof.
Are you saying to yourself, where did those buzzwords in the prior paragraph come from? I got them from the Non-Partisan Congressional Budget Office. That means they are absolutely correct even though they make no sense at all…
I’m getting carried away again. Neither of those two bullets above is possible. Certainly the one about lying is not possible. Our Congress has never lied to us...Or have they ever?
Would I kid u?
The Smartfella
Our 18% Approval Rating (and falling like a rock) Congress had a year and a half to take action to fix the Sequester.
The Sequester was set up when a Super Committee of Congressmen and Senators (of both parties) could not come to any recommendations about anything having to do with our Fiscal Crisis.
In case you have forgotten what the Super Committee’s task was...
“The objective of the committee was to develop a deficit reduction plan over 10 years in addition to the $917 billion of cuts and initial debt limit increase of $900 billion in the Budget Control Act of 2011 that avoided a U.S. sovereign default.”
During the 18 months Congress had to avoid the Fiscal Cliff Congress did nothing to fix the Sequester.
After we officially went over the Infamous Fiscal Cliff, they passed the "American Taxpayer Relief Act" (Those guys come up with the greatest names).
This act has many confusing provisions. (Don’t they always have many confusing provisions?) One of the confusing provisions caught my eye, not because it dealt with the Sequester, but because it gives the Smartfella (that’s me) a chance to demonstrate to you why our 15% Approval Rating Congress (I told you they were falling like a rock) is just obsessed with Kicking Cans Down Roads...
“Sequester Delay for Two Months...Two-month “turn off” of the Sequester putting the new deadline at February 28, 2013. The intent of the delay is to give Congress time to work on a balanced plan to end the Sequester permanently through a combination of additional revenue and spending cuts in a balanced manner.”
They had a year and a half to address this issue. What did they do? They gave themselves another 2 months. That ought to be enough time...Or will it be?
Would I kid u?
The Smartfella.
Our present White House has established the We the People Petition Process. It is supposed to give all Americans a way to engage their government on the issues that matter to them.
It sounds worthwhile. It sounds noble. It sounds like it is the kind of thing that would make our Founding Fathers proud...Or would it?
After a certain number of signatures are received, administration people are assigned to write up a formal response. These assigned responders are either very angry to have to waste their time writing these responses or are having a hard time keeping from laughing as they try to make their response letter sound as if they really think the petitioners are not idiots.
There have now been enough petitions that are downright silly that we ought to cancel this Foolishness and, as Bill Clinton, was want to say, “Get on with the work of the American people”.
Some of the petitions are so foolish that even the Smartfella would have no part of them...
If the above are not enough evidence for the need to cancel this program, try this one on for size...
Star Wars Geeks have asked the Obama Administration to build a Death Star
The Death Star petitioners argued the project would create jobs and strengthen national defense.
The head of the White House Budget Office’s Science and Space Branch had to respond on behalf of the White House. For the love of heaven I hope this man had better things to do than peck out the White House’s Official Position on this silliness.
Here are some of the things he had to say...
Heck if I knew how to say all these zeros in words but I did hear on the radio that $850,000,000,000,000,000 is called 850 Quadrillion Dollars.
I wonder if China has 850 Quadrillion Dollars lying around that they could loan us?
Would I kid u?
Are you aware that if you only add one to anything over and over you will eventually end up with a whole bunch of some things?
Every time a New Regulation is created we lose our right to do something or are required to do some other thing that we might not want to do.
If there were only about 10 Regulations levied on us we could put them on a 3X5 Index Card, have it laminated and keep it in our collective pockets in order to stay on top of what we are required to do and not do.
The problem is we have to keep track of a lot more than 10 regulations. Of special interest is the State of California where 876 New Mandates went into effect on the same day last week.
How many mandates Californians actually have I do not know but I would bet they would never fit on a 3X5 Index Card.
This is actually not important because the California Legislature is a very forward thinking bunch. Years ago they passed a mandate that stipulated that 3X5 Inch Index Cards must be bigger than 3X5 Inches.
Whatever the total number of California mandates is they now have 876 more to keep track of as they go about their never-ending daily quest of trying to be Kool.
You just said to yourself that you think I am over reacting again. The thought probably just crossed your mind that every one of these 876 New Mandates is probably worthwhile.
If you really think so, I ask you to read the details below of just two of these new mandates and see what you think about their worthwhileness...
------------------------
Californians Can No Longer Hunt Bears with Trained Dogs...
Since I am always logical, this must, of course, mean that it is OK to hunt bears with Untrained Dogs.
Can you just imagine how many Forest Rangers Disguised as Bushes are going to have to be stationed throughout the Golden State to catch hunters who are using Trained Dogs?
The suspected offending dogs will have to be tested on the spot to determine whether they are trained or not. Just what the testing procedure is going to be is now in the hands of the Regulators. When they come out with their new set of Trained Doggie Determination Testing Procedures I will write a Foolishness...Or Is It to help you understand this new silliness. Check back with me later.
I have one final point I wish to bring up that the California Legislators did not foresee. Can you imagine how many Forest Rangers Disguised as Bushes are going to be eaten by bears once this mandate is fully implemented?
You never thought of this, did you? I can assure you that the California Department of Bear and Dog Interaction did not think of this factor either but, once they do, they will certainly implement a bunch of regulations.
I sure hope the bears are able to read the regulations that they are going to be required to abide by.
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I wish to apologize to you for the length of this posting but these are important issues that you need to know about.
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Limited Parking Next To Broken Parking Meters...
In California it is now against the law to park next to a Broken Parking Meter for more time than you could park next to the Broken Parking Meter if the Broken Parking Meter were not a Broken Parking Meter.
Stop and think about enforcement of this mandate. How are the enforcers of this regulation going to know how long the offending Californian has been parked next to the Broken Parking Meter?
Are they all going to be issued Stop Watches to catch the “offenders”. Are the police really going to stand there waiting for the hours to tick by before they write the ticket?
Once the standing by and the watching has started, will they have to finish the standing and the watching before they can go on to other transgressions of the law that might happen around them?
Criminals have proven long ago that they are resourceful. These bad guys will probably start robbing banks, mugging Californians, jay walking, carjacking with impunity all around the Standing and Watching Policeman knowing that the Long Arm of the Law is busy and, is therefore, powerless to stop them.
I have an idea for California. (I always have thoughts on how to fix the pressing problems of the day)...
Why not just fix the broken parking meters?
Would I kid u?
