This Is A Multiplication Blog Posting

Originally this was not a Blog Posting but it was an email I sent to friends in late December 2004. It is about the hysteria surrounding Animal Pets and their Owners and the Landslide of Law Suits that were raging through our Courts at that time.

Where does multiplication come into play here? It’s because there are statistics sited below and I am certain, if I went to the time and effort to update those statistics, they would have multiplied several times over. I don’t think for a minute that we have done anything other than become even more fanatically attached to our Pets since 2004.

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The original Blog Posting was inspired by an article in the Time Magazine December 13^th, 2004 issue. I know you have that issue of Time Magazine still laying around your house. Pick it up and go to page 46 to check out the hard to believe information quoted in this Blog Posting.

It is sad to say there are still a few of you that think I make-up some of my Blogs no matter how often I try to reassure you by saying...Would I kid u?

I know some of you have pets that you love dearly. I know some of you will send me hate mail because I think that spending $300,000 and 5 years in court to "earn" a $39,000 judgment in a doggoned law suit for a pet that the court valued at $10 is stupid.

One of my friends from my Vietnam days had the right idea. When one of his many dogs died, he did not go to court. Instead he went to his tool shed and got a shovel and he buried Ole Rover in the backyard.

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Woof, Woof, Your Honor
It's no joke. Animal lawsuits are gaining respect as pet owners seek justice for the ones they love
By ANITA HAMILTON
Dec. 13, 2004

(This Article is Abridged and Yellow Highlighted by Fella. I also took out the actual names of actual people. I’m not sure why I did that. Maybe I was afraid of getting sued by the Living Actual People or the Descendents of Deceased Actual People or the Next-Door Neighbors of Living or Deceased Actual People. Heck, I’m so Law Suit Nervous, I even changed the names of the Dogs.)

With his sad brown eyes and soft, floppy ears, Fido, a 2-year-old Dachshund, is the kind of dog that's hard to resist. Just ask his co-owner Sally Derr, a music director at a rock station. After splitting up with her live-in boyfriend, Peter Fernerk, just before Christmas last year, Derr and Fernerk exchanged Fido informally every week. Then, last August, according to a lawsuit filed by Derr, Fernerk abruptly ended the arrangement and kept Fido.

Instead of giving up or just getting a new dog, Derr joined the growing ranks of animal lovers who are filing lawsuits over their pets. After consulting a lawyer, who says he has handled about 100 animal-related cases in the past four years, Derr filed suit in late October. She has already won at least a temporary victory. Last month a superior court judge ordered the exchanges to resume immediately, pending a final ruling. (Fernerk declined to comment on the case.) About seeing Fido for the first time in three months, Derr says, "His tail was wiggling out of control. I just hugged him and started to cry."

While going to court to resolve a pet-custody dispute may seem extreme, it is just one of the legal options available to protect animals and the people who care for them. Veterinary-malpractice suits, pet-cruelty cases and even landlord-tenant disputes over animals are reaching the courts as well. In Toledo, Peggy Sue, a newspaper columnist, has called for legislation that would ensure better conditions at dog kennels after her doggie, Hercules died, allegedly at a kennel.

Some 23 states now allow enforceable pet trusts, in which people set aside money in their will for the care of their pet. And when it comes to animal cruelty, more than 40 states have felony-level charges that virtually ensure jail time for serious offenders. "The courts are beginning to realize that the bond between humans and animals is very powerful," says Suem Now, a lawyer and animal-rights advocate who has written two books and taught a Harvard Law School course on the subject.

Some pet cases have reaped surprisingly large awards. Ashley Slook, won a $39,000 jury award last February after Mongo, her mixed-breed Chihuahua valued by the court at $10, died just days after coming home from a two-month stay in a pet clinic. Although the suit took five years, cost more than $300,000 in legal fees and is on appeal, Slook says it was all worth it: "I can't get my baby back, but I did get justice."

Once the domain solely of activists, animal law has steadily gained respect among law schools and legal scholars since 2000, when Now’s first book provided an academic argument for granting legal rights to animals. Some 40 law schools are now offering courses on the topic.

"I’m sorry Mr. Simpson. We would like to grant you a speedy trial, which I’m pretty sure is called for somewhere in our Constitution, but the courts are full to the brim with animal rights cases. After all, animals are people too."

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Everyone Is Entitled To His Own Stupid Opinion

Some Smartfella came up with the above Wise Crack. I am admitting that this Smartfella was not that Fella but that has not kept me from using it often.

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A big problem we face today is the Rapid Spread of Stupid Opinions. Back in the old days Stupid People said Stupid Things just as much as they do today. However, in those old days they spilled out their Silliness to only those around them (next door neighbor, the guy they did not know sitting next to them on the bus, the guy at work at the water cooler). Stupid Utterances did not get very far very fast.

Now Stupid Utterances travel at the speed of the Internet. Now people around the world instantly know how Stupid Other Stupid People are. The worst part is those Mental Midgets who agree with the Stupid Utterances repeat them (again with the speed of the internet) and the Stupid Utterances comes back to the Original Utterer (Yes, Ludwig, this is a word) and confirms his Foolishness inside his Silly Mind.

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Here a long but not a complete list of Social Media Outlets

Outlets I have heard of...

Email ... Texting ... Instagram...Facebook ... Foozle (I made this one up) ... Twitter ... LinkedIn ... Snapchat ... YouTube ... Quora ... Pinterest ... Flipboard ... Yelp ... TripAdvisor ... Goodreads ... Airbnb

Outlets I have not heard of...

Zomato ... Digg ... Reddit ... Polyvore ... Esty ... Fancy ... Houzz ... Last.fm ... Taskrabbit ... Whisper ... Ask.fm ... After School

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Effects of Social Media on Communication Skills

Prof. Chetan R. Bhamare, M.A., B. Ed. English, RJSPM-ACS College, Pune...

“Whether or not people want to accept it, social media has several negative impacts on their daily lives. We cannot deny the fact that social platform is very helpful providing news, gossips, and to keep in touch with friends and family, but we cannot afford it to become the focal point of our lives. The access that people have on the internet and social media specifically has become too easy. It has made the language lazy and thus resulting people uninterested in meeting others in person, which eliminates any chance of deep and meaningful conversation. People have started losing their ability to communicate efficiently, which is a testament, to what kind of total control social media has over their lives. Overall, social media can be beneficial if used wisely and in the proper proportion. So, it is easy to conclude that the negative impact of social media far outweigh any benefits that they may provide to society at this juncture.”

(Pune is not a misspelling. It is the eighth most populous city in India, with an estimated population of about 7.2 million as of 2019.)

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Face To Face Communication Is Smart...Or is it?

Face to Face Communication does not bring out the Smart in all of us. The leader of the Aviation Element of the raid that killed Osama bin Laden tells this story...

Two days after arriving home, I was at Jiffy Lube with my wife, getting an oil change. On the TV in the tiny lobby waiting room, the news was all about the killing of bin Laden. Three gentlemen waiting, in their mid-20s, were absolutely convinced it was a conspiracy.

I’m just sitting there, smiling, because they thought that it never happened. They thought it was just a publicity stunt for propaganda, for campaigning for Obama. They thought Obama staged it, like putting that on the news to boost his numbers.

My wife looked at me and whispered, “They have no idea, do they?”

I responded, “No. And I’m not here to explain it to them”.

While I was amused, my wife was bothered especially when she’d heard one of the men saying: “The soldiers that took part in this conspiracy should be shot, too.”

Shot?! Wow! Thank heaven these Uninformed “Experts” were only able to Shoot Off Their Mouths.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Is It OK If I Create A Blog That Does Not Have Anything To Do With Coronavirus or COVID-19 or Faucivirus?

President Trump has decided to start speaking to the American People from a Rose Garden Balcony. His thought process in coming to this decision was well conceived and logical but then it wasn’t.

What he was trying to do was to emulate the many successful Balcony Standers of past history like the Pope, the British Royal Family, Juan and Eva Peron down in Argentina and that Little King from the Wizard of Id.

He knows how to build things and the balcony was constructed very quickly because he was anxious to use it in his next News Conference.

He was feeling rather important as he and Doctor Fauci walked onto Presidential Balcony One to update the American People on the Ongoing Pandemic but then his Pleased as Punch Euphoria was popped like an Election Night Defeat Balloon when he hear the Assembled Six-Foot-Apart Audience asking each other, “Who is that up there on the Presidential Balcony with Doctor Fauci?”

It looks like I could not not write a Blog Posting that was not about Coronavirus or COVID-19 or Faucivirus after all.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

 

How Dare You Try And Remake This Entrenched Bureaucracy Become More Effective With Only Your Vast Experience As Your Guide!

Disclaimer: Because I am about to use the name “General Flynn” do not think I am about to enter into Partisan Politically Controversial Areas That I Normally Stay Away From. This is not about last week’s dropping of the General Flynn Case.

It is actually about...

• The ginormous influence that Hearsay by Unnamed Sources has on our everyday lives.
• It is also about how Entrenched Bureaucracies fight to remain Entrenched.

If you are still so inclined to read on, read on.

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I decided to go back and see why Lt. General Michael T. Flynn was removed from his position as head of the Defense Intelligence Agency in August 2014.

I found an article from October 2016 that did a very thorough job of going into all the details of his removal. That article is 5,237 words long and my dear readers would never forgive me if I tried to explain all of that to them, even if I could figure all of that out.

Instead I am going to make a couple of observations and then go take a nap.

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Unnamed Sources...

Acknowledging that his removal was not done in a Court of Law I am often amazed how often people are Impugned, Fired, Sullied and Made to Look Like a Meanie by “Unnamed Sources”.

Should we not be able to face our accusers and, if our accusers don’t have the conviction of provable facts on their side, should they not be ignored?

I found a much shorter than 5,237 word article in April 2014 that addressed General Flynn’s impending removal that used these words...

• “citing current and former U.S. officials”
• “one former official told The Washington Post”
• “Flynn's critics also maintained”

Stop and think about this process. It is possible to have your life ruined by a person who never actually met you and knows nothing about you other than your name which the Intrepid Reporter gave to him just before the person who does not know you said the Words That Ruined Your Life.

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Entrenched (and going to stay that way) Bureaucracies...

One former official told The Washington Post that Flynn attempted to push DIA Analyses and Operators into the field and other high-intensity operations. This ran counter to how the DIA saw itself, leading many to believe that Flynn's vision for the agency was disruptive.

Flynn previously served as a senior intelligence officer for the Joint Special Operations Command. During this time he was credited with creating innovative interrogation techniques leading to significant breakthroughs in counterterrorism operations in Iraq and Afghanistan.

A well-known maverick, Flynn had been asked to “shake things up” at the 17,000-person agency. He brought a more wartime mind-set and ethos to a sleepy Washington bureaucracy, until the bureaucracy pushed back and Flynn’s gung-ho style was deemed too “disruptive”.

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Unnamed Sources Again...

Flynn had worked hand in hand with retired General Stanley McChrystal, to transform the U.S. Joint Special Operations Command (JSOC) into History’s Most Lethal Terrorist Hunting Network.

McChrystal, too, had been ousted from his job, after an article in Rolling Stone quoted unnamed members of his staff making disrespectful comments about those to whom McCrystal reported.

Although McChrystal was not quoted directly in the article, the responses of his staff were deemed to reflect the perception of McCrystal’s disrespect for his superiors.

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So where are we in this Blog Posting? We are here...

• You can be removed from a Position of Importance by unnamed sources.
• You can be removed from a Position of Importance where your marching orders were to Shake Things Up because you used your Vast Store of Knowledge and Experience to dare to Shake Things Up.
• You can be removed from a Position of Importance by a Bureaucracy Lacking Real World Experience because you tried to get them out into the Real World to Become Real World Experienced.
• You can be removed from a Position of Importance not because of What You Said but because of What the People Who Work Under You Said.
• You can be removed from a Position of Importance No Matter How Successful You Had Been in Your Position of Importance...History’s Most Lethal Terrorist Hunting Network.

Yes I have Blogged about Mr. Anonymous before and I will probably do it again because Mr. Anonymous is so darn powerful and no one is paying any attention to me.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Am Not Out Of Control. They Are.

I just climbed on top of my Soap Box. Now that I am up here you are required to read whatever I write while I am up here. If you dare to not read what I write while I am up here “they” will know and “they”  will come get you and take you away for not reading what you are required to read as stipulated in Federal Law 6 U.S. Code § 17 Citizen Requirements To Read What People Write While Standing On Soap Boxes.

You say you don’t know who “they” are. Trust me. You don’t want to ever be placed in a position to find out who “they” are.

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OK, I admit I made up the above Silliness about Soap Boxes but below are actual words from the Code of Federal Regulation (CFR) that goes on darn near forever about the Parks in the National Capital Region of the District of Columbia. 

Because I know you are busy doing nothing while you are Sheltering in Place I will only peck out that part of the CFR having to do with Signs Carried in Demonstrations in Lafayette Park.

I know you probably had already figured out this is what I was going to blog about today...Or did you figure it out?

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Try and read as much as you can stand but here is what I noticed...

Ø The minute never-ending detail.

Ø The confusion that reigns throughout.

Ø Understand that, if “they” want to throw you in jail, “they” can find a way to do it because there is no way someone who wants to demonstrate in the park can comply with all the dictates of what this CFR.

Here it is...

36 CFR § 7.96 - National Capital Region

(ix) The following are prohibited in Lafayette Park:

(B) The use of signs except for the following:

(1) Hand-carried signs are allowed regardless of size.

(2) Signs that are not being hand-carried and that are no larger than four (4) feet in length, four (4) feet in width and one-quarter ( 1/4) inch in thickness (exclusive of braces that are reasonably required to meet support and safety requirements and that are not used so as to form an enclosure of two (2) or more sides) may be used in Lafayette Park, provided that no individual may have more than two (2) such signs in the Park at any one time, and provided further that such signs must be attended at all times (the term “attended' is defined as an individual being within three (3) feet of his or her sign(s)), and provided further that such signs may not be elevated in a manner so as to exceed a height of six (6) feet above the ground at their highest point, may not be arranged or combined in a manner so as to exceed the size limitations set forth in this paragraph, and may not be arranged in such a fashion as to form an enclosure of two (2) or more sides. For example, under this provision, two four-feet by four-feet signs may not be combined so as to create a sign eight feet long and four feet wide, and three such signs may not be arranged to create a sign four feet long and twelve feet wide, and two or more signs of any size may not be leaned or otherwise placed together so as to form an enclosure of two or more sides, etc.

I said above “never-ending”. To prove that these people take Never-Ending seriously take note that at the very end it says “etc.” What the heck does that mean? Using Federal Law as their justification, I wonder if they can put us in jail for not complying with an “etc.”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: 36 CFR § 7.96 - National Capital Region does actually end, however, before it finally ends, it takes up 29 Pages and contains 7,169 words. After the typist had finished with this one she had to get the Letters and Numbers Truck to come fill up her Word Processor because the poor thing was not only exhausted but it was darn near empty.

Lemon or Lyme?

We have been told we can’t call the Chinese Wuhan Virus the Chinese Wuhan Virus because the Chinese would get their feelings hurt or they might even think we are blaming them for the Chinese Wuhan Virus Epidemic they are responsible for. 

Don’t tell the people up in Connecticut about all of this. They are known to be very sensitive people and they might get their feelings hurt too.

Read on, My Dear Readers, you are about to learn a lot about Lyme Disease...

Lyme disease was present for thousands of years in America and had spread along with its tick hosts from the Northeast to the Midwest.

The full syndrome now known as Lyme Disease was not recognized until a cluster of cases originally thought to be Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis was identified in three towns in southeastern Connecticut in 1975, including the towns Lyme and Old Lyme, which gave the disease its popular name.

Did I just hear you ask, “What is big deal about Lyme Disease?” 

I’ll tell you what the big deal is, since you asked!

It is estimated that Lyme Disease affects 300,000 people in the United States and 65,000 people in Europe each year!

That is a big deal but, if the people in Lyme and Old Lyme don’t get their feelings hurt when we call Lyme Disease Lyme Disease, why are we worried about the Chinese getting mad at us for calling the Chinese Wuhan Virus the Chinese Wuhan Virus?

This is sortalike (Ludwig, I know that’s not a word) using the term “Smart Alex” and making the whole world think we are smart.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Wouldn’t you just know our 9% Approval Rated (and falling) Congress would get involved in this Blog Posting from a Blog dedicated to Foolishness...

  In July 2019 the US House of Representatives ordered an investigation into whether the Pentagon had released 'weaponized' ticks infected with Lyme disease into the environment between 1950 and 1975. Scientists identified this investigation as based on a conspiracy theory and claimed that an investigation was unnecessary and a bad use of funds.

If you are wondering why Congress’ Coveted 9% Approval Rating is falling, stop wondering.

Maneuvering Through the Age of Corona

Yogi Bear Was Smarter Than The Average Bear but The Jury Is Still Out On Costco

Costco is limiting certain items to one per customer...Or is it?

Today I found Clorox Wipes in a temporary display in the middle of an aisle. The sign read, “One per Customer”. I have always been One so I took One.

As I walked away from the display I noticed a shopper approaching the display that was about to be Smarter than I am. This Smart Shopper was followed by an older lady pushing her own cart. The older lady looked to be the Smart Lady’s mother.

The Smart Lady put the Clorox Wipes in her cart and then put a second Clorox Wipes in her mother’s cart.

I’m glad I’m not as Smart as these two Smart Shoppers.

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Costco is trying to Outsmart some of its many Smart Shoppers.

Certain items are in short supply but not yet to the point where they are being limited to One per Customer. Some Smart Customers are foreseeing the future shortage in these items and buying a whole lot of these Going to Be In Short Supply Items. Actually they are not so much seeing the future shortage as they are creating the future shortage by buying huge quantities before the future comes.

Costco is trying their best to stay Smarter on these Smart Shoppers. They have invented a sign that reads, “This Item Is Not Eligible for Return”.

This means that, when the Age of Corona is behind us, these Smart Shoppers who bought 20 cases of the Going to Be In Short Supply Items will not be at the Costco Customer Service Counter getting their money back on 19 cases of the Going to Be In Short Supply Items.

Is Costco going to prove to be Smarter? I think there is a good chance Costco will not prove to be Smart enough.

As you know from reading my Blog Postings over these many years, I really can see into the future. Sad to say I see a Lawyer standing next to the Smart Shopper returning the 19 cases. The Lawyer is poking holes in the air with his poking hand and the Costco Customer Service Lady is starting to cry.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

I Must Compliment You. You Have Worked Hard To Get Where You Are. You Are Respected In Your Field Of Endeavor. You Are Fired.

At present, we are being told that it is inappropriate for a man to compliment a woman on her appearance while at work.

I made up the life story below...Or did I?

His Life in Bullet Points...

Ø He was born into a very poor family.

Ø From an early age he proved to be an industrious person.

Ø He studied hard in every school he attended.

Ø To help support his struggling parents and his 3 siblings he held many jobs throughout his life starting at the age of 8.

Ø He was always first in his class in every school he attended all the way through Medical School.

Ø He rose quickly to become the leading brain surgeon in the country.

Ø By the time he was 50 years of age he was credited with saving the lives of 984 patients with life threatening brain diseases and injuries.

To sum up him and his life... He was loved and respected and at the age of 50 he was in perfect health. This meant there were many more surgeries in his future and many more lives he was destined to save.

Then, one day he was taking a coffee break in the Doctors Lounge, and he said to a fellow female doctor, “You sure look good today, Sally”.

He was immediately ushered out of the lounge and out of the hospital and he walked to his car hearing his former medical colleagues shouting to him, “You are a terrible person! You will never practice medicine again! You should know better than to compliment a woman on her appearance!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The Mystery Is Solved But His Struggle Along The Road To Recovery Looks Like It’s Going To Be Long And Slow

For several weeks reporters covering the U.S. Senate have been grappling with a strange and unexplained happening going on with Senator Chuck Schumer and his Eyeglasses.

It all started during an interview with Wolfe Blitzkrieg on CCN. The Senator was making one brilliant political point after another and was moving on from brilliant point #32 to brilliant point #33 when his eyeglasses fell from his face bounced off his tie and careened onto the floor.

Wolfe was taken aback and tried to make light of the shocking thing that had just happened but it was evident to all political observers that something was seriously wrong with the Senator and the Senator’s Eyeglasses.

In the weeks that followed one Investigative Reporter after another tried to get to the bottom of what was wrong with the Senator and the Senator’s Eyeglasses and what was finally uncovered was a shock to all working Inside the Beltway.

The truth finally came, thanks to Google, when it was revealed that in 1808 a Bulgarian Doctor named Hector Herwitz revealed (after extensive research) the existence of Vitamin Deficiency in Brilliant People where the Cartilage at the juncture of the nose where it joins with the forehead starts to slowly shrink.

Doctor Herwitz's research revealed that this Cartilage Retraction Syndrome resulted in the nose itself becoming shorter. Heaven knows we have all wondered about how far Senator Schumer wears his glasses down his nose. We have collectively thought to ourselves, “If his nose were a quarter of an inch shorter his eyeglasses would fall from his face bounce off his tie and go careening onto the floor”.

That’s what has happened to our Senator Schumer. His nose has shrunk that one quarter of an inch and there is nowhere for his glasses to go but to the floor in front of him.

Doctor Herwitz was far ahead of his time as evidenced by the fact that he published his findings in the New England Journal of Medicine 4 years before the Journal’s first edition.

The most obvious fix has turned out to be a non-starter for the Senator. He tried a little dab of Super Glue but he has had to look elsewhere for the solution to his problem because he developed an allergic reaction to that little dab.

We all wish him well as he consults with his doctors to find a remedy for this most unsettling shortcoming and until that remedy is found, as is so often said within the Beltway, we feel his pain. 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Coronavirus Tidbits

The Way to Kill Germs Is Antibacterial Soap! ... Or is it?

For many years now we have been going out of our way to buy Antibacterial Soap because we wanted to get rid of Germs. Today I saw this on the Center for Disease Control...

“When washing hands, you can use plain soap or antibacterial soap. Plain soap is as effective as antibacterial soap at removing germs.”

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Using Hydroxychloroquine and Azithromycin To Cure Coronavirus Is Dangerous.

Reported Danger Example #1...

Major medical organizations including the American Heart Association have issued warnings about the drug’s potential to trigger heart arrhythmia in some patients.

A 32-year-old woman, who had recently been diagnosed with Myocarditis (an inflammation of the heart muscle), was given a prescription for Hydroxychloroquine and Azithromycin by a Telemed Doctor (What the heck is a Telemed Doctor?). The Telemed Doctor had never seen her in person and he asked no questions about her underlying health conditions.

Thankfully the Prescription was not filled but the husband of the patient (victim) was on his way to the pharmacy when he was called and told to turn around.

Does not sound like sound like a Drug Problem. It sounds more like a Doctor Stupid Problem.

Reported Danger Example #2...

It is dangerous to take more than the Recommended Dosage.

No Chit Sherlock. Is that not the case with all drugs including Aspirin?

I have a Fix for this Dangerous Danger...

Always take the Recommended Dosage.

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The Most Powerful Germ

All the Sanitizers we use advertise that they kill 99.9% of Harmful Bacteria.

That .1% Germ must be Really Powerful!

The company that comes up with a Sanitizer that advertises, “Our Sanitizer Only Kills That Pesky .1% of Harmful Bacteria” is going to make a lot of money!

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Did I Make This Up?

The Number 6 is the key to everything Coronavirus.

Staying 6 Feet Away from other people will keep us safe.

Is it true that Driving 6 Car Lengths away from other cars is now being recommended?

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People Who Don’t Wanna Smile

The National Association of People Who Don’t Like to Smile are really happy about all these Corona Masks because they no longer feel Social Pressure to Smile because other people no longer can tell when they are Smiling or Not Smiling.

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Face Masks

The Face Mask has passed through many different iterations during the Age of Coronavirus...

Ø Masks are silly.

Ø Masks are unnecessary.

Ø Masks only protected an infected person from passing the Coronavirus to an uninfected person but they do not prevent an uninfected person from becoming infected.

Ø Masks should be worn by everyone (they skipped over explaining why everyone now had to wear one including everyone who was not infected).

Ø Masks had to be N-95 Masks or they were useless.

Ø Masks were made out of Handkerchiefs.

Ø Masks were made out of Doo Rags.

Ø Masks were made out of Paper Napkins.

Ø Masks started to appear that were made out of one half of a Brassiere. People who wore masks made out of extra large Brassieres started appearing in emergency rooms all over the Good Ole USofA because they were bumping into things, falling off of things and driving their cars into things because they could not see where they were going.

It is no wonder that some people gave up on this Mask Confusion and simply started holding their breath for extended periods of time.

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Places You Can and Can’t Go

In my home state of Georgia we are being told we cannot go to Church but we are being give the green light to go to Massage and Tattoo Parlors.

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American Medical Association Is Barking Up the Wrong Tree

My sources tell me that the AMA is asking for Stimulus Money for their General Practitioners because it says they are losing money.

I vote no because too many of them are not trying to help get us out of our dire predicament. Instead they are practicing Patient Avoidance as evidenced by the fact that they have placed Flashing Neon Signs in their windows that read, “If You Are Sick, Stay Out!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

In This Corner We Have God and In the Opposite Corner We Have the Big Bang and Over There We Have the Oyster

The above Subject Headline sure is jam-packed with Big Guys.

God is certainly a Big Guy.

The Big Bang is certainly Big otherwise it would have been called the Bang.

Read on to find out why the lowly Oyster rightfully deserves to be up there with the Big Guys.

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If you are like me, you woke up today thinking that you did not know enough about the Oyster. Thank your lucky starts that you have me in your Sheltered in Place Life because I am going to tell you all about Oysters and how Complicated They Really Are... 

Oysters are filter feeders, drawing water in over their gills through the beating of cilia. Suspended plankton and particles are trapped in the mucus of a gill, and from there are transported to the mouth, where they are eaten, digested, and expelled as feces or pseudofeces. Oysters feed most actively at temperatures above 10 °C (50 °F). An oyster can filter up to 5 L (1.3 US gal) of water per hour. Chesapeake Bay's once-flourishing oyster population historically filtered excess nutrients from the estuary's entire water volume every three to four days. Today, it would take nearly a year.^[8] Excess sediment, nutrients, and algae can result in the eutrophication of a body of water. Oyster filtration can mitigate these pollutants.

In addition to their gills, oysters can also exchange gases across their mantles, which are lined with many small, thin-walled blood vessels. A small, three-chambered heart, lying under the adductor muscle, pumps colorless blood to all parts of the body. At the same time, two kidneys, located on the underside of the muscle, remove waste products from the blood. Their nervous system includes two pairs of nerve cords and three pairs of ganglia.

While some oysters have two sexes (European oyster and Olympia oyster), their reproductive organs contain both eggs and sperm. Because of this, it is technically possible for an oyster to fertilize its own eggs. The gonads surround the digestive organs, and are made up of sex cells, branching tubules, and connective tissue.

Once the female is fertilized, she discharges millions of eggs into the water. The larvae develop in about six hours and exist suspended in the water column as veliger larvae for two to three weeks before settling on a bed and maturing to sexual adulthood within a year.

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Now you know that the Oyster has 2 Kidneys. If you do not know this, you skimmed over the above extremely interesting information about one of the great wonders of the world you live in.

Go back and read it again and don’t skim this time. I’ll wait...

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Are you wondering if this Blog Posting is going anywhere? It certainly is and you are about to see where it is going.

Back in 1966 Time Magazine published its first cover ever that was made up of Only Words and I’m sorry to say the words were...

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Think back to how complicated the Oyster is and ask yourself this question...

Do you really think the Oyster was created by the Chaos and Mayhem and Violence of the Big Bang Explosion?

Oh my gosh! All is truly lost. I just heard one of you say, “Of course not, Fella. The Oyster required 2 Big Bangs.”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

 

Let Us Not Confuse Change with Progress

Maybe no one ever said the above Subject Words except me but I have said them many times. I don’t always believe what I say but this is one of those times where I know I am dead right and at my age I don’t throw the word “dead” around without thinking to myself, “Do I really want to throw the word “dead” around?”.

Merriam-Webster has a lot to say about the word “change”. Here is a very incomplete list of some of what Merriam and Webster has to say…

Ø To make radically different.

Ø To replace with another.

Ø To make a shift from one to another.

***************

Enter the “Wisdom” of YouTube…

“If you want to cut off a leg or an arm, you’re mentally ill, but if you want to cut off healthy breasts or a penis, you’re transgender.”

Those are the words of Dr. Michelle Cretella said in a video published in 2017. She is a Pediatrician with many years’ experience in her field. She is also the Executive Director of the American College of Pediatricians.

Fast forward to November 2019 and this video of Dr. Cretella has been removed from YouTube. In its place, YouTube displays this message: “This video has been removed for violating YouTube’s policy on Hate Speech.”

***************

Enter the words “Hate Speech”…

The use of the term Hate Speech appears to be here to stay and its use is growing with every passing day.

This is the kind of thing we are now being subjected to in the Good Ole USofA…

Ø A person used to kill another person because the other person deserved to be killed or simply because they disliked the another person.

Ø Today disliking another person is not sufficient.

Ø The fact that you killed the another person in absolutely conclusive proof that you hated the another person.

Ø When you are sentenced for your crime you will be sentenced for Killing the another person and you will get more time for Hating the another person.

Ø If you only disliked the another person, you would have simply slapped or punched the another person.

Ø Slapping and punching has modern expanded implications also…
èA Slap is now classified as a Hate Slap and punishable by 8 years in prison.
èA Punch is now classified as a Hate Punch and is punishable by 17 years in prison.

(Yea, I made the above bullet point up…Or did I?)

Imagine how many years John Wayne would have spent in prison because he was always punching someone. (He never slapped anyone.)

If you don’t know who John Wayne was, don’t tell me. Just quietly Google him.

***************

Now to further your Foolish Education of the Silliness of all of this we now have a new Term of Confusion to fog our minds…

It seems some of us are suffering from Body Integrity Identity Disorder but fear not because we have a remedy and that remedy is to Amputate Limbs.

I can’t bring myself to say again which limbs so I will refer you to the Bolded Paragraph Above which follows the words, “Enter the “Wisdom” of YouTube…”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Am I allowed to ask this question?

If the Amputated Limb was healthy when it was removed, can the Amputated Limbed Person have it reattached if they later changed their minds or would that be considered Amputation Reversal Confusion Disorder?

Lagniappe Another: If you want to see John Wayne punching someone click here: If an ad appears, click Skip Ad... https://youtu.be/o3343LUHNb4

Abortion Has Always Been Objected To On The Basis Of Moral Outrage...Or has it?

Follow the money...

Abortion itself only became a serious Criminal Offense in the period between 1860 and 1880.

Ø The criminalization of abortion did not result from Moral Outrage.

Ø The roots of the new law came from the newly established physicians’ trade organization, the American Medical Association.

Ø Doctors decided that abortion practitioners were Unwanted Competition and went about Eliminating That Competition.

There’s nothing funny here. I’m just furthering your knowledge of the world around us.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: If you think I made this up or you want to read more about this from the site where I got this, click this link to the History Channel...https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/roe-v-wade

Close Enough...Or is it?

I’ll tell you upfront that I am going to make up a lot of this Blog Posting but I will still make my Brilliant Point...Or will I?

I was in Starbucks today (I told you I was going to make things up). You knew I was making things up as soon as I said, “I was in Starbuck today”. I don’t know for sure if there are people in Starbucks today because I am not allowed to go to Starbucks to see if there is anyone in Starbucks because I can’t leave my house to go to Starbucks.

The above paragraph really sidetracked me. I’m going to start over...

I was in Starbucks today spewing germs at everyone within Spewing Distance of my Spewing Germ-Infested Mouth. I was surfing the Internet on my Filthy Germ-Infested iPhone and, since I am who I am, I noticed that a Prestigious Institute of Higher Education had spent a lot of time publishing Useless Information.

I immediately thought of you, my Dear Readers, and said to myself, “Self, I just know that my Dear Readers, who are seekers of Useful Information about publishers of Useless Information, are just waiting to get this Useless Information from me”.

Now that I have your undivided attention...

The unnamed Prestigious Institute of Higher Education has been compiling information about the Coronavirus for us to worry about because they are concerned that we do not have enough information about Coronavirus to worry about.  

In the article the Prestigious Institute of Higher Education said, “Our data imply that, by April 1 between 48,000 and 81,000 people had been infected in Santa Clara County”.

Allow me to give you a more precise quote that Prestigious Institute of Higher Education should have published, “Our data imply that, by April 1 between 48,000 and 48,500 people had been infected in Santa Clara County”.

Does the Prestigious Institute of Higher Education really think that a range between 48,000 and 81,000 is a precise enough range to get anyone’s attention? That’s a spread of 33,000! I think that any survey worth its salt (whatever that means) could have come up with that imprecise a number without bothering to do a survey!

They could have gone to the nearest English Pub (actually they could have gone to a Hungarian Pub or a Brazilian Pub) drank a bunch of beers, thrown darts at a dart board and come up with this kind of spread. This is known in the Survey World as a Wild-Ass Guess.

I wonder how the Survey Compilers at this Prestigious Institute of Higher Education would like a text message from the President of their Prestigious Institute of Higher Education that read as follows...

We appreciate all you do for our Prestigious Institute of Higher Education. To show how much we appreciate all your hard work, we have revised our payroll brackets and you are hereby advised that you next paycheck will be somewhere between $48,000 and $81,000. Have a nice day.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

No Chit Sherlock!

A Waste of Time Headline...

White House Guidelines for Reopening the Economy Garner Mixed Reviews

************

Of course, there are Mixed Reviews.

Don’t think you will ever see a headline that reads... 

White House Guidelines Are Without Exception Welcomed and Praised By Everyone In The Country!

************

If a Thousand Dollar Bill was sent to every man, woman and child in the Good Ole USofA, we would hear this kind of Mixed Reviews coming back from an awful lot of the Thousand Dollar Bill Recipients...

Ø The mailman’s delivery route always delivers mail to the people across the street before he delivers to my side of the street. Why should the people who live on the other side of the street get their money before I get my money?!

Ø Every night on TV I see Congress throwing money at everything you can imagine and all I get is a measly $1,000!

Ø Yes I got a check for each of my 3 children but I don’t understand why families that have more children than I have receive more checks than I do!

Ø Money is free to our government. It has lots of printing presses. It should have printed more $1,000 bills!

Ø My bill had a corner that was bent! I demand an unbent bill!

************

Do you think I went too far this time? OK, I’ll concede that may be the case. I hereby pledge I will stop going too far when I no longer hear people call up radio talk shows and saying things like this...

Of Course, I Know What Roe vs. Wade Was All About. It Was The Very Difficult Decision That General George Washington Had To Make Before He Crossed The Delaware River.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Don’t Get Excited. This Is Not A New Blog Posting.

I’m sure many of you have not noticed that my Blog can be translated into many different languages. All one has to do is do some clicking in the Left Column of any Blog Posting where it says, “Translate Into Your Own language” and, before you know it, you can be reading my Blog in a language you can’t understand. (Does it make sense to say, “reading my Blog in a language you can’t understand”?)

 

During the Coronavirus Attack I know you are busy doing nothing so I went to the trouble to set up today’s Blog Posting into Chinese (Simplified) but it did not work because every blog I ever posted became Chinese (Simplified).

 

I’m now going to turn you loose to do the Translation Conversion on your own:

Ø Open my last Blog Posting: https://forii.blogspot.com/2020/04/question-why-do-you-dislike-that-guy-so.html

Ø In the left column click on, “Translate Into Your Own language”.

Ø Then click on, “Chinese (Simplified)”.

After you are done not reading Chinese, be sure to reverse the process and get back into English or you will find yourself in Night School taking Chinese (Simplified).

If you want to see it in Chinese (Traditional) have at it but, I warn you, you may not be able to understand it either (unless you are Chinese).

Simplified is not as Simple as it used to be (unless you are Chinese).

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Question: Why Do You Dislike That Guy So Much? Answer: At first I Liked Him But Then I Found Out He Was From Another State And That's When I Knew He Was Evil.

BC...Before Coronavirus

On August 26, 2007 I wrote a Blog Posting about the Chaos that existed before the Chinese invented Coronavirus. It was a long Blog Posting and, even though it was Well Written, I won’t repeat the whole Blog Posting in this Blog Posting but I will give you 3 of its Well Written Bullet Points to set the stage for this Well Written Blog Posting...

Before our Founding Fathers came up with the Constitution, Chaos was having its way with the Good Ole USofA…

Ø The cooperation among the states, forged in the 1770s and sustained during the war, had vanished with independence.
Ø Competition and exploitation reigned, and the revival of a fierce localism pitted Virginian against Marylander, New Yorker against New Jerseyite, Georgian against South Carolinian.
Ø Connecticut and New Jersey were rumored to be planning a joint assault on New York.

************

What Goes Around Comes Around.

AC...After Coronavirus

Pennsylvania’s Liquor Control Board announced March 16 that liquor stores would close the next day...

Ø The state was hoping to keep residents at home.

Ø Instead Pennsylvania Residents flocked to buy booze while they still could buy booze.

Ø Lines stretched around the block.

Ø Sales spiked to $29.9 million in a single day.

Denver saw a similar rush when Mayor Michael Hancock announced that liquor stores would not be considered Essential Businesses...

Ø The mayor told his minions not to panic buy.

Ø The minions panicked.

Ø Within hours the Governor reversed course.

Ø The liquor stores stayed open.

You are probably wondering why Colorado is smarter than Pennsylvania. I know why and you are about to know why because I am going to tell you why...

It’s because they are all smoking Marijuana and they are able to think clearly.

...Or is it?

Back in Pennsylvania the closures continued…

Ø Many residents are now driving to neighboring states to buy alcohol.

Ø West Virginia is refusing to sell liquor to anyone without a West Virginia ID.

Ø Delaware police are pulling over out-of-state drivers and instructing them to go home.

Ø Pennsylvania’s Liquor Control Board resumed limited Online Sales but it restricts orders to six bottles per transaction.

Ø The number of Online Orders immediately overwhelmed the site.

Ø The state now rations access to the Online Store.

Black markets thrive when the government refuses to let supply match demand, so expect to see rum runners make a comeback.

************

I’ve got an idea. Let’s bring back Prohibition.

Did you just say we tried that before and it did not work?

I was ready for you to say that and I will give you the Socialism Perfect Answer…

Prohibition Did Not Work Because It Was Not Done Right. We Will Do It Right This Time Because We Are Smarter Than We Used To Be.

Above is the Socialism Perfect Answer for having another crack at Prohibition. To use the Socialism Perfect Answer to advocate another crack at Socialism the Socialism Perfect Answer must be modified to read...

Socialism Did Not Work Because It Was Not Done Right All Those Other Times It Was Tried. We Will Do It Right This Time Because We Are Smarter Than We Used To Be.

...Or are we?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

What Me Worry?

Are you worried? Did I just hear you say, “Worry about what?”

Pardon me. I thought it was obvious. I’m, of course, talking, about the United States National Debt.

Are you wondering what started me pecking out this confusion? It was because I was just sitting here reading the November 15, 2004 issue of Business Week. I know you are familiar with that issue…Or are you?

Here’s what caught my eye…

“With a $7.7 Trillion Budget Deficit, It’s Time to Cut Spending!”

As I usually do, I will now remind you about just how much money we are talking about…

A Trillion is a Thousand Billion and a Billion is a Thousand Million and a Million is a Thousand Thousand and, being as Smart As I Know You Are, You Immediately Grasped That $7.7 Trillion Is 7 Thousand 700 Billion Dollars.

But we have nothing to worry about because Business Week caught our Congress’ Attention back in November 2004 and Congress Cut Spending … Or did it?

The Current U.S. National Debt is More Than $24 Trillion and Growing Bigger Each Second That Passes!

Since I already showed you how much money we are talking about I won’t do it again but maybe you ought to start worrying. On the other hand, why should you be the only one?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Why Are You In Here?

I Don’t Normally Burden My Dear Readers with Two Blog Postings in One Day but This Is an Emergency

The finely dressed new inmate is roughly shoved into his new cell. He looks ill at ease. Already in the cell is the inmate who somehow looks right at home in the new inmate’s new cell.

They both want to be friendly so they strike up a conversation…

Ø Hi, my name is Howard. What’s your name?

Ø My name is Randolph but everyone calls me by my nickname, Killer.

Ø Hi, Killer.

Ø Hi, Howard.

Ø Tell me, Killer, have you been in here a long time?

Ø You might say that, Howard, I’ve been here since 1987.

Ø Wow, Killer, that is a long time.

Ø Killer, may I call you Killer?

Ø Sure, everyone else calls me Killer, why should you be an exception?

Ø Why are you in here, Killer?

Ø Well, as you probably have guessed from my nickname, I have killed people. Actually I killed a lot of people. I killed my wife. I killed her boyfriend. I guess I should qualify that. I killed a guy who I thought was her boyfriend but he just turned out to be someone she sat next to on the bus. I killed my neighbor’s dog because he barked after 9 o’clock at night. Then I had to kill my neighbor because he objected to my killing his dog for barking after 9 o’clock at night. Since I have been in here, I killed 3 cellmates, but I think I am reformed, because I have not killed a cellmate in the last 7 years.

Ø Howard was speechless.

Ø Killer felt obligated to keep the conversation going so he asked why Howard was in jail.

Ø Howard told him he has violated the Coronavirus State Mandate to Shelter In Place and he had gone to Good Friday Services at his Church.

Ø Killer’s eyes got big as saucers. All of a sudden he looked downright frightened. He jumped up and ran and grabbed the bars of their cell and started shouting, “Guard, get me outta here! Get me outta here!” Then he turned to face Howard keeping his back up against the bars and while grasping the bars over his head with his clenched hands he continued shouting, “Be quick about it! And send someone to help me move my stuff!”

In these uncertain times we all have our own fears and some of those fears are not only new but they are downright overwhelming.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella