What’s Wrong With Us?

I did a quick search of my Blog Postings and it looks like I have only used the phrase, “What’s Wrong With Us?” one time before today. The way this country is headed, it’s a wonder I don’t use it once a week.

If you want to read the Blog Posting where I did use it, click here: https://forii.blogspot.com/2014/01/sometimes-i-am-proud-as-can-be-about.html

It’s kind of sad and a sign of the times that, if you want to search for someone with the first name “Dennis” on the Internet and you type in “Dennis” into the Search/URL Bar at the top of your computer screen, the first name that comes up on the list (most often searched name) is “Dennis Rodman”.

My heavens! He had not played basketball in more than 2 decades nor been to North Korea to chat with Kim Jong-um in several years (been there to chat 5 times) and he’s still this much of a Person of Interest to Internet Searchers!?

This is a sign of something or other about our country. I’m just not sure exactly what sign that is but it’s probably not something that indicates we have nothing to worry about.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

You Don’t Need a Spare Tire Until You Need a Spare Tire

First of all I want to make clear that every single one of the Toyota Vehicles I have owned or driven have been a pleasure to own and drive. This commentary is directed at one small issue I have with my 2016 Prius. In a sense it is smaller than small issue because it is invisible, or more accurately said, it is not there.

Toyota did not provide a Spare Tire with my 2016 Prius

I'm told they did this to help with their Fuel Economy Requirements, Trunk Space Considerations and the Dangers Involved in Setting up a Jack on the Side of a Road.

A Fella Wise-Ass Comments: In regard to Fuel Economy, why would Toyota be concerned about increasing the MPG in my Prius from 59 MPG to 59.5? It seems to me that Toyota should have worried less about the Prius and more about the Land Cruiser (14 Combined MPG).

Instead they provided me with a Tire Repair Kit which Toyota contends will inject some gooey stuff into the tire to seal a small hole, pump up the tire, temporarily fix my flat tire and save my day...Or will it?

(To be fair, Toyota is not the only manufacturer that is using these Tire Repair Kits. I’m afraid this is the wave of the future.)

Did you notice I said above, "a small hole"?

Lately I have been saying to myself, "Self, what if you have a large hole out in the middle of the Western Good Ole USofA while you are going to or coming from that Dude Ranch in northwestern Wyoming you are going to be going to and coming from this summer?"

If I get a flat tire and the tire is not gooey fixable because the hole is too big, I would have to call AAA to have my car, my wife, me and my daughter towed to civilization.

I started picturing the look on their faces when I ended the call to AAA (if I was lucky enough to have connected with a cell tower) and told them, "They said they would be here in about 4 and a half hours...give or take an hour or thereabouts, as they say hereabouts". 

************

I decided I needed to buy my own Compact Spare Tire...

Ø Let me make this clear from the get go, I consider my Toyota Dealership Service Guy to be very good at what he does.

Ø When I told him I was going to try and be a Dude this summer, he showed me pictures of his own personal horse that likes to stick his (her?) tongue out when posing for pictures.

Ø After my Service Guy finished looking at me like I was crazy, he calculated my Spare Tire and Wheel Price be $267. 

Ø I thought that was a lot of money and I frantically started thinking of possible other alternatives. (My definition of a lot was going to change a lot before this saga was over.)

Ø My Service Guy recommended I go to Pull-A-Part (modern junk yard) and buy a spare tire from one of one of their junked cars.

Ø The 3 locations of Pull-A-Part in my area did not come close to having a spare tire for me to buy.

Ø I called another Toyota Dealer and got a quote over the phone of, "Somewhere around $1,500". (This is what I was referring to when I commented about my changing definition of a lot above.)

Ø I researched on the Internet and found out that in 2016 there were 5 models of Prius and only 2 came without a spare tire but all had the wheel well in the back where I could store my spare tire (if I ever got one).

Ø Not everything you find out about on the Internet is true.

Ø The dealership took out the flooring of the Way Back (formerly known as the Trunk) and found out there was no wheel well back down there.

Ø That meant I would have to store the tire behind the front seat on the floor or in the Way Back on its floor.

Ø I called Toyota Motor Sales because I am a retiree from Toyota Motor Sales and just knew they were going to fall all over themselves trying to help me.

Ø They treated me like they never heard of me.

Ø This was probably true because the employee I talked to probably had not been born when I retired.

Ø I went back to my Service Guy and told him to order me a Cheap Spare Tire and Wheel priced at a mere $267.

Fella Digression: You may not find this interesting but I am in control because it is my Blog and hold on because you are almost done with me and my Blog (for today only I hope). I was the Owner Services Manager for American Motors Corporation (Google it) more than 40 years ago. (We were the first company to have an incoming 800 number.) AMC (figure it out or Google It too) had recently changed the name of my department from Customer Complaint Department to Owner Services Department. Toyota has moved on from those ancient times. Their Customer Complaint Department is now called Brand Engagement Center and their former Phone Answerers are now Brand Engagement Advocates. 

As Fella has been known to say, “That’s progress”. (Fella’s Digression is over.)

Ø I went to the dealership to pick up my cheap tire but they had ordered the wrong size tire and I had to go back 2 days later.

Ø When I went back, the quoted price was $100 more than the cheap price I had already been quoted.

Ø My Service Guy figured it out and he told me what he figured out by saying, "They still have the first wrong-sized tire on the invoice. They are charging you for 2 tires".

Ø I don't know who "they" are but I don't like them one bit.

Ø The final price was $255.

The bottom line is we have our Cheap Compact Spare Tire and we also have room for our daughter.

I just have to decide the location for the Cheap Compact Spare Tire (see pictures).

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: If you need more info about Missing Spare Tires (not just Toyotas) go to this site: https://www.torquenews.com/1083/shopping-guide-2021-why-you-should-demand-spare-tire-your-new-vehicle. As that American Express Commercial used to say, "Don't leave home without it".

I Worry About the Young People of Today

I apologize for all the ads that now appear throughout my Blog Postings. It was not always that way. Google Blogger does this. I have no control over these ad insertions. I know it makes my Interesting Commentary harder to read. Stick with it because it is worth the effort...Or is it? J

(I Understand Aristotle Felt the Same Way About the Young People Of His Day)

How often do we hear someone say or write...

“The young people today have to deal with a lot of pressure!”

Fella thinks the young people of today don’t know what pressure is.

I got this from Only Friend and a Newspaper Article about the deceased Father-In-Law of a friend of ours...

He was a Marine in WW2...
>He was in Pearl Harbor during the attack. (Decemebr 7, 1941)
>He was on Midway during the Battle of Midway. (4–7 June 1942)
>He spent time on Guadalcanal. (Contested from 7 August 1942 until Japanese stopped contesting the Island 6 months later)
>He was at the invasion of Saipan. (Combat on the island was from 15 June to 9 July 1944)
>He was on Tinian (where the planes that dropped the 2 Atomic Bombs took off from) when the Atomic Bombs were dropped. (August 1945)
>His last combat mission of the war was to venture into the jungle and try to capture alive a POW to explain to the POW that the war was over.

Ah yes, today’s young people have it tough...Or do they?

Wanna read all about him? Click here: https://www.gainesvilletimes.com/news/pearl-harbor-survivor-mack-abbott-dies/

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Yes, Sidney, You Articulate Your Words Very Well. You Speak At A Pace That Is Easy to Understand. Those Are Exactly the Reasons Why We Can’t Hire You To Be The Voice Of Our Commercials.

I readily admit that this Blog Posting is too long, however, I have inserted a $50 If You Simply Click Here Link somewhere in it. Relax, be patient and you will be $50 richer when you are done enjoying yourself.

Have you noticed how fast Commercials talk at us? My ears have trouble keeping up with them. More to the point, they go by so fast my ears have trouble understanding them.

If buyers can’t understand them, why run them at all?

The Radio Commercials are worst than the Television Commercials (I don’t know why but I don’t have to know the answer to all the whys in my life...Or do I?).

The Guests and Talk Show Hosts on Radio Talk Shows are required to talk faster than it is possible to understand them. Then the Commercials come on and the Guest and Hosts sound like they talk slow when compared to the Commercials Talkers.

I know the answer to this why. Since the reason the Commercials exist is to make us spend our money on whatever the Commercial tells us to spend our money on, why would Commercials not talk slow enough so that we could understand What the Heck They Are Saying? The answer, as usual, is money.

Commercials cost money to create and they cost more money to shove them Down Our Throats. The thinking of the people who create and shove these commercials is, “We gotta tell them as much as we can before they realize they are listening to a Commercial and they stop listening”.

************

That reminds me of a new technique the Radio People have started using on unsuspecting us.

In the Old Days...

Ø We were notified that a Commercial was coming because the Announcer would say, “And now a word from our sponsor”.

Ø This was known as Fair Warning and it was our signal that we now were going to have an opportunity to part with our money. We had options...

>Listen to the Commercial and possibly Part with Our Money.
>Listen to the Commercial and possibly not Part with Our Money.
>Jump up and go to the Rest Room to take a Rest.
>Jump up and go get a Beer.
>Some were more accomplished TV Listeners than were others and they had actually trained themselves to take 4 Minute Naps. When the Commercials started, they went to sleep immediately and woke up at the very moment the Commercial ended so they could see more of what they were wasting their time watching when the Commercial came on to interrupt their watching.

In the New Days...

Ø Radio Commercials have gotten really deceptive.

Ø The Commercial starts off sounding as if it was an actual news event and it takes about 20 seconds before we realize that it is just another Commercial...
>”My friend I want to tell you about something that actually happened to me while I was on a family vacation with my family in Florida. We were having the best vacation that our family had ever had and, after buying some gifts in a cute little gift shop, we got a notification that our Identity Had Been Stolen! Thankfully we had the protection afforded to us by our membership in Identity Security R Us...”
>The Commercial goes on the scare the Living Daylights (if you are in Ireland, you would probably hear Scare the Bejesus) out of us and we are told, if we love our family, we are compelled to sign up immediately.

************

Another thing that has changed about Radio Listening in recent years is Commercial Saturation. If I were silly enough to be a member of Congress, I would be standing up there poking holes in the air with my finger and saying...

“My fellow Americans, I am compelled to stand up before you today to propose a Bill of Clarification. It is incumbent upon me to Sponsor a name change for what we have come to know as Radio Talk Shows. With the passage of the bill, which I have named, the Tell It Like It Is Radio Talk Show Clarification Bill (or as it has come to be known as the TILIIRTSCB bill). This bill requires that all former Radio Talk Shows be re-named Radio Commercial Shows.”

************

Here come the part of this Blog Posting where you are going to say to your collective selves, “I can’t believe Fella actually took the time to record all this useless information”.

I have a Radio Talk Show (until it is properly re-named) that I used to like but now I turn it off a lot. I turn it off when the Commercials start.

Yes, I actually recorded this minutia using my stop watch and a pencil and paper...

Ø I turned on the show in the last half hour of the 3 hour show with 14 minutes left in the show.

Ø A Commercial was already in progress, so I don’t know how long the Commercial Interruption had already been in progress.

Ø The Commercial that was in progress was about helping businesses get employees to work in their business.

Ø That Commercial was followed by a Commercial about how to get a home loan.

Ø That Commercial was followed by a Commercial about the talk show host’s podcast.

Ø That Commercial was followed by a Commercial about relieving body pain.

Ø That Commercial was followed by a Commercial about how we can donate our cars, vans or boats.

Ø That Commercial was followed by a Commercial about how to get term life insurance...
>This Commercial always makes me chuckle.
>It tells us to call their phone number and Big Lou will answer the phone.
>Stop and think about this claim.
>If the show has 15,000,000 listeners and 1% of them are enticed to call in that means Big Lou is going to have to talk to 150,000 insurance seekers.
>Can this guy be that good?
>The strangest part is the Commercial is always ended with, “Big Lou’s like you. He’s on meds too.”
>I’m not sure I want to have a person, no matter how big he is, to handle my insurance needs if he is hooked on medications and he gets 150,000 phone calls every time that Commercial runs on the radio.
>I guess there is always the chance that his medications are Smart Pills but I’m not sure there is such a thing as Smart Pills.

Ø That Commercial was followed by a Commercial about real estate.

Ø That Commercial was followed by a Commercial about buying insulation for our homes.

Ø That Commercial was followed by a Commercial for the Weather Channel.

Ø That Commercial was followed by a Commercial about the Radio Commercial Show that was going to follow this Radio Commercial Show.

Ø That Commercial was followed by a very short musical interlude.

Ø That musical interlude was followed by a Commercial that started off talking about inflation and was worded so I thought it was a part of a newscast but it turned out to be about how to get a home loan.
>If you are still reading this Blog Posting and you are paying attention, this is the same Commercial as the second one on this list above.

Ø That Commercial was followed by a Commercial from that guy who loves his pillow so much he wants all of us to buy one just like it.

That did it. The show was over, or so I thought, and we were encouraged to tune in tomorrow.

Then the show continued after it was over and...

Ø A Commercial came on about a pill we could take that would balance our nature.

Ø That Commercial was followed by a Commercial about how we could get out of our Evil Time Share.

Yes, My Dear Readers...

The Last More Than 14 Minutes of the Show Was a No Show At All.

IT WAS ALL COMMERCIALS!

Aghhhh!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: I lied about the $50 If You Simply Click Here Link.

True Heroes (Not Sports Figures) Deserve Our Respect No Matter How Long Ago They Performed Their Heroic Deeds

 

I may have published this Blog Posting before but I can’t find it in my records so I have expanded it and pecked it out again.

13 years ago we visited a World War One cemetery in Flanders Field in Belgium. We were being shown around by a guide when we noticed that one grave stood out from the rest because it was covered with Flowers and Decorative Ribbons.

We ask the guide about the decorations and she explained (in bullet point format)...

Ø This grave was so highly decorated because it was a new grave (in a cemetery for a war that ended 90 years ago)...

>From Wikipedia... The Iron Harvest is the annual "harvest" of unexploded ordnance, barbed wire, shrapnel, bullets and congruent trench supports collected by Belgian and French farmers after ploughing their fields. The harvest generally applies to the material from the First World War, which is still found in large quantities across the former Western Front.

>During World War I, an estimated one tonne of explosives was fired for every square metre of territory on the Western front. As many as one in every three shells fired did not detonate. In the Ypres Salient, an estimated 300 million projectiles that the British and the German forces fired at each other during World War I were duds, and most of them have not been recovered. In 2013, 160 tonnes of munitions, ranging from bullets to 15-inch (38 cm) naval gun shells, were unearthed from the areas around Ypres.

>Unexploded weapons—in the form of shells, bullets, and grenades—buried themselves on impact or were otherwise quickly swallowed in the mud. As time passes, construction work, field ploughing, and natural processes bring the rusting shells to the surface. Most of the iron harvest is found during the spring planting and autumn ploughing, as the region of northern France and Flanders are rich agricultural areas. Farmers collect the munitions and place them along the boundaries of fields or other collection points for authorities.

Ø Human bodies are still uncovered also.

Ø Whenever a body is recovered it is buried with a Full Formal Burial Ceremony.

Ø The people from the nearby towns show up in significant quantities.

Ø Many arrive with flowers in hand.

The flowers and decorative ribbons are the result of the homage paid to an unknown soldier who died a long time ago who was highly honored when he was recently buried in his new grave.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

We Don’t Trick People Into Coming To Our Country

 

We are under attack from ourselves in the Good Ole USofA because our form of Government is not perfect. Personally I blame Thomas Jefferson because he put these words into The Declaration of Independence...

We hold this truth to be self-evident, that the Good Ole USofA is perfect.

...Or did he?

This Country has spent more than 200 years not being perfect while at the same time doing a gigabunch more things right than wrong.

Since the beginning people coming from all over Planet Earth have been trying and are still trying to get into the United States.

If they come because they thought the Good Ole USofA was perfect, they soon realize that is not the case. They also soon realize that it is a terabunch (a terabunch is a thousand times more than a gigabunch) better than where they came from and, more often than not, they begin the process of trying to get other members of their family to join them here.

What Thomas Jefferson really wrote was...

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Pursuing Happiness does not Guarantee Happiness but it is a lot better than living in a place where the National Motto is If You Are Seeking Happiness Furgedaboudit.

Did you just say you wanted something to Think About? Think about this...

Of all the people who have come to America from a Communist Form of Government...

Ø How many of them have ever been overhead saying, “Do you know the name of a good lawyer? I want to sue! No one told me that this was a Free Country!”

Ø How many sit with their family at the dinner table at night talking about how great it was under Communist.

Ø How many decided to leave the United States and go back to the Communist Country they came from?

They all would probably agree with this statement...

Back in the old country we did not have much but no one else had more.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Make Them Suffer!

Did you just say you were at a lost to know who deserves to suffer? Where have you been? Have you not been watching TV for the last several years? If you don’t know who deserves to suffer, I am of a mind to not tell you.

OK, I am going to tell you but I will not always be with you and one day you are going to have to learn to Fend for Yourself.

I can’t believe it! Did you just say you don’t know what Fend for Yourself means either? Would it help if I told you what “Fend for Yourself” looks like in Chinese? It looks like: 照顧自己；自謀生計. (I can see that did not help.)

Some People Believe That People Who Do Not Have the Same Opinion As They Do Deserve To Suffer

Simply stated, they believe non like minded people are Wrong, Misguided and Ignorant and, if they own a business, that business needs to be boycotted until it goes out of business! 

************

There was a time (back in the Old Days) when we heard this kind of Old Time Thinking...

Ø Everyone is entitled to his Own Opinion.

Ø I do not agree with what you just said but I will Defend to the Death Your Right to Say It.

Ø You, my friend, have a right to Speak Your Mind.

In the Old Days someone would say something that you did not agree with and you would say to him, “I do not agree with you. We need to talk about it when we go to lunch today. Before we talk about that I got to talk with you about whether or not you saw that stupid referee make that stupid call at the end of the Packers game last night. What a jerk! If we don’t get around to talking about why I don’t agree with your opinion, let’s try to remember to talk about it at lunch tomorrow.” 

************

We, however, don’t live in the Old Days we live in the New Days. Today we...

Ø Get all excited and verbally attack the person with whom we do not agree.

Ø We stop talking to the person with whom we do not agree.

Ø We talk to other employees about how stupid the person we do not agree with is.

Ø We refuse to go to lunch with the person with whom we do not agree...ever again.

Ø We tell our supervisor that we can’t bear to work around the person with whom we do not agree.

Ø We get a sense of accomplishment when we find out that the person with whom we do not agree has been fired.

Attacking people we do not agree with has spread all over the Good Ole USofA (one of the “benefits” of Social Media). Boycotts spring up every day. A lot of money is being spent trying to put entire companies Out of Business because the Owners of these Businesses are Politically Active and, therefore, we know what their Political Opinion is. 

************

Let’s Bullet Point the results of a successful Put Dat Sucker Out of Business Boycott...

Ø The owner of the newly defunct business (the one we want to see suffer) is probably going to be financially well off after his business has closed.

Ø Once he buttons up his old company he flies to his home outside of Pocatello, Idaho to rest up before he goes to home in the South of France for the South of France Season.

Ø Because he has gone out of business his 1,600 employees at his now defunct business are unemployed.

Ø Many of the children and spouses of these 1,600 former employees have to get jobs to help support their families.

Ø Many of the children of these 1,600 former employees have to put off or cancel forever all plans to attend College.

Ø Homes are foreclosed on in bunches.

If they still have homes, they spend many nights sitting around their cold dark living rooms (the electricity has been shut off) saying to each other, “What did we do wrong?”

Sometime when we set out to “Make Them Suffer” we lose track of just who “Them” are.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

I’m Lonely!

If you live around me, you are probably Over There and I am Over Here...All alone.

You don’t get my drift, do you? OK, I’ll explain. One day I’m going to get tired of explaining things to you and you will not know what the heck I am talking about anymore.

************

The Lonely Place I am in is reserved for those people who actually Stop at Stop Signs. I appear to be the only one that does do it but I do do it. I can’t help myself.

Any day now I expect to be rear ended after I make an Unexpected Stop. The Unexpected Stop should not really have been unexpected. It was, however, unexpected by the person in the car behind me. He did not expect me to stop because no one else stops at Stop Signs these days and he ran into the back of my stopped car because he did not expect my stopped car to be stopped in front of him.

There might be at least One Stopper in the subdivision next to the one I live in because someone paid to have the Added Sign added to two Stop Sign Poles over there (see picture)...

I wish I knew who the person who added these Added Signs was. If I did, we could chat and commiserate about everyone but the two of us.

A frightening thought just frightened me. I’m getting pretty old. As we get older it ain't pretty because we forget things. Is it possible that I am the person who put up the Added Sign and I forgot I put up the Added Sign?

If that is the case, that means I am really All Alone.

Now I am more frightened than I was when I thought I had a Fellow Stopper out there somewhere.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: This Lagniappe could be a Blog Posting all on its own but it probably lends itself to the Stop Sign Problem above...

I got this story from a Teacher of English As A Second Language in our County.

An Asian Student approached her and asked if he had to stop for a Traffic Light If No Cars Were Coming. When he was told he had to stop he said he did not understand these kinds of laws in his new country. If no cars were coming he felt he ought to allowed to drive through red lights.

About 50% of the drivers around here are Asian. That may explain why Asians do not stop for Stop Signs but it does not explain why the other 50% (minus me) do not stop.

 

Problem Solved!

   

Once upon a time in the Good Ole USofA our newly elected Presidents had a Problem. When they first walked into the Oval Office, they were at a loss about what to do next. That problem is on the ash heap of history. Our Confused, Do-Nothing, Happy Hour Centered Congress made this problem go away.

Once in office New Presidents often found that the Congress they had to work with will not pass any laws that the New President Proposes.

This is especially true when the Congress is controlled by the Opposition Party and the Opposition Party does not want the New Presidents to get credit for doing anything that might make them look good and result in the Present President getting Re-Elected to become the Continuing Present President.

Also if what the New President proposes does not cost enough money, Congress will be sure to chant, “Dead On Arrival” when the New President’s Proposal first arrives before them because they will not pass any legislation that does cost more money than Congress has available to spend.

Because the New President can’t get Congress to do anything they have started “Passing Laws” by use of use of Executive Orders.

New Presidents who can’t figure out what to do next when they come into office have started filling in the early weeks of their administration by repealing the Executive Orders of their Predecessor.

While this may allow the New President the time to develop a Plan of Action, it causes problems in the Economy. The Executive Orders have sent Misdirection Messages to Budding Entrepreneurs like Peter Fernerk...

Ø Peter saw an Executive Order to make the Twisted Widget the Official Widget of the Good Ole USofA and, then and there, he saw his future.

Ø He spent the last 4 years and all of his capital building a 9 Football Field Sized Manufacturing Plant just outside of Olathe, Kansas to manufacture Twisted Widgets for Patriotic Citizens who are anxious to be Patriotic and show their Patriotic Pride by displaying a Patriotic Twisted Widget on their front porches, their front lawns, in their places of work and as hood ornaments on their cars and trucks.

Ø After 4 years of construction the Grand Opening Ribbon Cutting Ceremony was conducted on January 19^th.

Ø That day 5,275 employees marched into their bright futures of making Twisted Widgets knowing that their dreams also had also come true.

Ø Each of them had spent 7 weeks in the 1 Football Field Sized Training Facility located next to the 9 Football Field Sized Manufacturing Plant learning how to assemble Twisted Widgets.

Ø Each employee was pleased as punch (whatever that means) to know that College Educations for their Children, a new Family Home, the family’s Big Screen TV and that Honeymoon they had not been able to afford when they got married 10 years ago were all now going to become reality.

All of the above is thrown on the ash heap of History when on the afternoon of January 20^th the New President Canceled the Executive Order to make the Twisted Widget the Official Widget of the Good Ole USofA.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: I did not make this up...

In the Blog Posting Above I used the word “employee”. I am old enough to have witnessed the word “Employee” evolving into “Associate” and then to “Team Member” and this actually happened to me (did I say already that I am not making this up?)...

Yesterday I was on the phone and I asked to speak to a Customer Service Representative and I was told, “Certainly, I will be glad to switch you to one of our “Brand Engagement Associates”.

I did the underlining but, if it were possible to underline the spoken word, I am certain she did.

I Am Toying With the Idea of No Longer Writing My Blog

Did you just say out loud, “Oh no! Why would you be toying with such a horrid idea like that?”

Even if you did not say that out loud I’m going to answer you as if you had said that out loud (or under your breath).

The reason I have come to this horrid conclusion is we can get all the Foolishness you and I desire by reading the Babylon Bee.

Why need I kid you if I can let The Bee kid you for me??

Smartfella

Click here: https://babylonbee.com/news/lego-unveils-new-genderless-bricks-with-no-malefemale-connectors

I Have Received A Compliment!

If the late Frank Sinatra were visiting me today, I would ask him to sing to me slightly modify words to My Way...

“Compliments, I’ve had a few but then again too few to mention” 

This compliment I just received hit the Proverbial Bulls Eye...

“Thanks, Fella, for your excellent understanding of the hilarity of the inane.”

Merriam-Webster defines “inane” as... lacking significance, meaning, or point: SILLY.

There’s that word “silly” again.

If the late Bobby Kennedy were visiting me today, I would ask him to modify his words... 

Some men see things as they are and say why I dream things that never were and say Why not 

to

Some men see things that are silly and say, that’s Silly. I see things that are Silly and say...Or is it?

Robert and Fella both wish to apologize to George Bernard Shaw ...

“Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Frank’s My Way actual lyrics...

“Regrets I've had a few But then again too few to mention”

Why Do We Think All the Good Ole USofA’s Problems Are Unique to the Good Ole USofA?

 

HERE ARE THE FIRST 3 PARAGRAPHS OF A NEWS ARTICLE PUBLISHED IN ENGLAND

New UK Election Law to Ban Postal Vote Harvesting

BY ALEXANDER ZHANG

May 15, 2021 Updated: May 15, 2021

The UK government said on Friday it plans to boost election integrity by stopping postal vote harvesting, limiting proxy voting, and clamping down on voter intimidation.

This follows the announcement earlier this week that voters will be required to show photographic ID before being issued ballots at a polling station.

Under new measures announced on Friday, “postal vote harvesting” will be stopped by limiting the number of postal votes that a person may hand in on behalf of others.

If you care to Read All About It (to make sure I did not make this up), click here... https://www.theepochtimes.com/new-uk-election-law-to-ban-postal-vote-harvesting_3815927.html

Should we send a State Department Representative to England to tell them that Election Integrity, Postal Vote Harvesting, Proxy Voting, Voter Intimidation and Voter ID are Problems That Belong Exclusively to the Good Ole USofA?

We could call it Problem Infringement.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Believe Me I’m Having Trouble Believing This

 
 Here are the first 3 paragraphs of a legitimate news article. One word jumped out at me. See if you can figure out which word that is. 

TECH NEWS

Cybercriminal Group Blamed for Colonial Pipeline Hack Says It Is Disbanding

BY ZACHARY STIEBER

May 14, 2021 Updated: May 14, 2021

The cybercriminal outfit that U.S. authorities have said infiltrated the network of a major pipeline operator, leading to gas shortages and rising prices, is claiming that it is disbanding.

DarkSide, which operates ransomware as a service, announced Thursday they were stopping operations.

In an announcement in Russian, the group said they lost access to part of its infrastructure, along with some of their financial assets, after an apparent raid by law enforcement authorities.

If you care to Read All About It (to make sure I did not make this up), click here... https://www.theepochtimes.com/cybercriminal-group-blamed-for-colonial-pipeline-hack-says-it-is-disbanding_3816063.html

Time’s up. Here it is... “DarkSide, which operates ransomware as a service,”

“Service” is defined as ... : the act of serving: such as a: a helpful act

This article makes this “service” sound like a good thing. It’s not! I don’t consider locking a company’s computers and offering to allow the company that owns those computers to regain access to their own computers if the company pays the lockers money.

That’s a Criminal Act! The article even calls them a “cybercriminal outfit” (second & third words in the 3 paragraphs above)...

Ø They are Criminals!

Ø They ought to go to Jail!

Ø The Pipeline Company Gave Them Money!

Ø We even call it Ransom!

Ø Are Ransom Receivers now to be Admired?

Ø Why can’t they Follow The Money, see where it went and arrest the people who got the money?

This is where someone says to Fella, “Fella, you are being Naïve. You are being Silly. That’s not the way it works.”

This is where Fella says, “Huh?”

************

Now I Completely Shift Gears...

Since I have been branded as Naïve and you know I am usually Silly, here is some Professional Silliness. We (you and I) ought to spend some time every day or so reading some Very Polished Professional Silliness...

The Onion... https://politics.theonion.com/

Here is an example of one of the Onion’s “News” Articles...

Biden’s Child-Care Plan To Allow All American Parents To Drop Kids Off At White House Between 8 And 5

4/28/21

Babyalon Bee... https://babylonbee.com/

Here is an example of one of the Babyalon Bee’s “News” Articles...

CDC Says You No Longer Have To Wear a Life Jacket Outside In Case Of Rain

4/28/21

I usually say, “Would I kid u?” but you know I usually do. The Onion and Babylon Bee always do.

Smartfella

I Just Heard About a New Diet Plan

 

It came at me out of my car radio. It advertised you will, “Stay Healthy for the Rest of Your Life”. 

Stop and think about this. If we could get all of the Good Ole USofA on this Stay Healthy for The Rest of Your Life Diet, at some time in the future we will be hearing news reports that say something like this...

Public Health Officials are finding it hard to explain why scores of Perfectly Healthy people are dying in such large numbers.

There was a time in the past where people got sick before they died. This allowed their families to prepare for their demise and gave warnings to the about-to-be-dead people that they need get their affairs in order. Now all of America is on edge because the better they feel the more they are worried that feeling so good could very well mean that they are about to die.

The CDC has put out a statement saying that, until they can figure out what the heck is going on, In An Abundance of Caution, they are dictating that every person in the country is required to Wear A Face Mask at All Times and under no circumstances are they ever allowed to remove their masks.

In order to ensure their continued good health, any persons seen without a protective mask on will we shot on sight.

Effective immediately the Forever All The Time Mask Mandate is required for all new born babies. Little Tiny Masks must be applied to their little tiny faces within 30 seconds of the moment they give out their first crying sound.

The Grand Poobah of the CDC has issued a statement that his Brother-In-Law has been given the contract to supply these Little Tiny Masks. A 1 month supply of these masks has already been shipped to every hospital in the Good Ole USofA.

When asked how we will eat through these All The Time Face Masks, the spokesman for the CDC said, “That’s an excellent question. We do see this as a problem and you can rest assured that we are working on a solution. We have appointed a Blue Ribbon Panel of Really Smart Blue Ribboners to come up with a solution. We will get back to you on this one as soon as the panel returns from their conclave in Hawaii”.

My Dear Readers, I don’t want to make you nervous but I have to ask, How Are You Feeling Today? Did you just say you are feeling great? I’m sorry to hear you say that.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

News Headline I Want to See

 

Here are the types of News Headlines I keep seeing...

Ø Super Hackers Reveal How Easy It Is To Steal Just About Everything

Ø How Hackers Could Wirelessly Bug Your Office

Ø Inside Russia’s Hacker Underworld

Ø The World's Most Famous Hacker Kevin Mitnick & KnowBe4 CEO Stu Sjouwerman Deliver the Cyber Investing Summit 2017 Opening Keynote Presentation

Ø Colonial pipeline hack claimed by Russian group DarkSide spurs emergency order from White House

Regarding the Last Headline above, the article’s sub headline actually said this...

“The Darkside Ransomware Group released a statement Monday saying it is apolitical and that it did not mean to cause widespread disruption”

What’s going on?

These guys are acting like they are celebrities! We (the Good Guys) don’t need to go out and to try and find them? We know where they are? We know who they are? They are issuing statements as if they were a Legitimate Business?!

Here is a New Headline I want to see...

“In a raid similar to those conducted against Rudy Giuliani, Paul Manafort and Roger Stone FBI Agents Invaded the Headquarters of Hackers R Us and Seized All Kinds of Stuff”

After I saw my Hoped-For News Headline above here is probably what I would see next...

The attorney for the Hackers R Us standing before a bevy of microphones, with tears in his eyes saying something like this...

“I am shocked! The right to disrupt society and cause Untold Financial Loss and Chaos is my client’s absolute right! Forthwith I demand an apology from every FBI Agent who participated in this Unmitigated Miscarriage of Justice! I never thought I would see this day!”

The next thing I would see...

Within minutes all FBI Agents who participated in the raid would tweet their Heartfelt Apology.

The next thing I would see before I ran out of the building screaming would be the still teary eyed attorney for Hackers R Us returning to the microphones and saying...

“An apology is not enough! I have been authorized by my clients to say, you just wait till next Thursday! You will rue the day that you dared to try and take our rights away!”

What’s going on?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: When is a Hacker going to go to jail?

Lagniappe Another: The attorney returns saying, “You can’t send my client to jail. He has a lot of Keynote Presentations on his calendar!”