I Just Heard About a New Diet Plan

 

It came at me out of my car radio. It advertised you will, “Stay Healthy for the Rest of Your Life”. 

Stop and think about this. If we could get all of the Good Ole USofA on this Stay Healthy for The Rest of Your Life Diet, at some time in the future we will be hearing news reports that say something like this...

Public Health Officials are finding it hard to explain why scores of Perfectly Healthy people are dying in such large numbers.

There was a time in the past where people got sick before they died. This allowed their families to prepare for their demise and gave warnings to the about-to-be-dead people that they need get their affairs in order. Now all of America is on edge because the better they feel the more they are worried that feeling so good could very well mean that they are about to die.

The CDC has put out a statement saying that, until they can figure out what the heck is going on, In An Abundance of Caution, they are dictating that every person in the country is required to Wear A Face Mask at All Times and under no circumstances are they ever allowed to remove their masks.

In order to ensure their continued good health, any persons seen without a protective mask on will we shot on sight.

Effective immediately the Forever All The Time Mask Mandate is required for all new born babies. Little Tiny Masks must be applied to their little tiny faces within 30 seconds of the moment they give out their first crying sound.

The Grand Poobah of the CDC has issued a statement that his Brother-In-Law has been given the contract to supply these Little Tiny Masks. A 1 month supply of these masks has already been shipped to every hospital in the Good Ole USofA.

When asked how we will eat through these All The Time Face Masks, the spokesman for the CDC said, “That’s an excellent question. We do see this as a problem and you can rest assured that we are working on a solution. We have appointed a Blue Ribbon Panel of Really Smart Blue Ribboners to come up with a solution. We will get back to you on this one as soon as the panel returns from their conclave in Hawaii”.

My Dear Readers, I don’t want to make you nervous but I have to ask, How Are You Feeling Today? Did you just say you are feeling great? I’m sorry to hear you say that.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella