I readily admit that this Blog Posting is too long, however, I have inserted a $50 If You Simply Click Here Link somewhere in it. Relax, be patient and you will be $50 richer when you are done enjoying yourself.
Have you noticed how fast Commercials talk at us? My ears have trouble keeping up with them. More to the point, they go by so fast my ears have trouble understanding them.
If buyers can’t understand them, why run them at all?
The Radio Commercials are worst than the Television Commercials (I don’t know why but I don’t have to know the answer to all the whys in my life...Or do I?).
The Guests and Talk Show Hosts on Radio Talk Shows are required to talk faster than it is possible to understand them. Then the Commercials come on and the Guest and Hosts sound like they talk slow when compared to the Commercials Talkers.
I know the answer to this why. Since the reason the Commercials exist is to make us spend our money on whatever the Commercial tells us to spend our money on, why would Commercials not talk slow enough so that we could understand What the Heck They Are Saying? The answer, as usual, is money.
Commercials cost money to create and they cost more money to shove them Down Our Throats. The thinking of the people who create and shove these commercials is, “We gotta tell them as much as we can before they realize they are listening to a Commercial and they stop listening”.
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That reminds me of a new technique the Radio People have started using on unsuspecting us.
In the Old Days...
Ø We were notified that a Commercial was coming because the Announcer would say, “And now a word from our sponsor”.
Ø This was known as Fair Warning and it was our signal that we now were going to have an opportunity to part with our money. We had options...
>Listen to the Commercial and possibly Part with Our Money.
>Listen to the Commercial and possibly not Part with Our Money.
>Jump up and go to the Rest Room to take a Rest.
>Jump up and go get a Beer.
>Some were more accomplished TV Listeners than were others and they had
actually trained themselves to take 4 Minute Naps. When the Commercials started,
they went to sleep immediately and woke up at the very moment the Commercial
ended so they could see more of what they were wasting their time watching when
the Commercial came on to interrupt their watching.
In the New Days...
Ø Radio Commercials have gotten really deceptive.
Ø The
Commercial starts off sounding as if it was an actual news event and it takes
about 20 seconds before we realize that it is just another Commercial...
>”My friend I want to tell you about something that actually happened to me
while I was on a family vacation with my family in Florida. We were having the
best vacation that our family had ever had and, after buying some gifts in a
cute little gift shop, we got a notification that our Identity Had Been Stolen!
Thankfully we had the protection afforded to us by our membership in Identity
Security R Us...”
>The Commercial goes on the scare the Living Daylights (if you are in
Ireland, you would probably hear Scare the Bejesus) out of us and we are told, if we love
our family, we are compelled to sign up immediately.
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Another thing that has changed about Radio Listening in recent years is Commercial Saturation. If I were silly enough to be a member of Congress, I would be standing up there poking holes in the air with my finger and saying...
“My fellow Americans, I am compelled to stand up before you today to propose a Bill of Clarification. It is incumbent upon me to Sponsor a name change for what we have come to know as Radio Talk Shows. With the passage of the bill, which I have named, the Tell It Like It Is Radio Talk Show Clarification Bill (or as it has come to be known as the TILIIRTSCB bill). This bill requires that all former Radio Talk Shows be re-named Radio Commercial Shows.”
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Here come the part of this Blog Posting where you are going to say to your collective selves, “I can’t believe Fella actually took the time to record all this useless information”.
I have a Radio Talk Show (until it is properly re-named) that I used to like but now I turn it off a lot. I turn it off when the Commercials start.
Yes, I actually recorded this minutia using my stop watch and a pencil and paper...
Ø I turned on the show in the last half hour of the 3 hour show with 14 minutes left in the show.
Ø A Commercial was already in progress, so I don’t know how long the Commercial Interruption had already been in progress.
Ø The Commercial that was in progress was about helping businesses get employees to work in their business.
Ø That Commercial was followed by a Commercial about how to get a home loan.
Ø That Commercial was followed by a Commercial about the talk show host’s podcast.
Ø That Commercial was followed by a Commercial about relieving body pain.
Ø That Commercial was followed by a Commercial about how we can donate our cars, vans or boats.
Ø That
Commercial was followed by a Commercial about how to get term life insurance...
>This Commercial always makes me chuckle.
>It tells us to call their phone number and Big Lou will answer the phone.
>Stop and think about this claim.
>If the show has 15,000,000 listeners and 1% of them are enticed to call in
that means Big Lou is going to have to talk to 150,000 insurance seekers.
>Can this guy be that good?
>The strangest part is the Commercial is always ended with, “Big Lou’s like you. He’s on meds too.”
>I’m not sure I want to have a person, no matter how big he is, to handle my
insurance needs if he is hooked on medications and he gets 150,000 phone calls
every time that Commercial runs on the radio.
>I guess there is always the chance that his medications are Smart Pills but
I’m not sure there is such a thing as Smart Pills.
Ø That Commercial was followed by a Commercial about real estate.
Ø That Commercial was followed by a Commercial about buying insulation for our homes.
Ø That Commercial was followed by a Commercial for the Weather Channel.
Ø That Commercial was followed by a Commercial about the Radio Commercial Show that was going to follow this Radio Commercial Show.
Ø That Commercial was followed by a very short musical interlude.
Ø That musical interlude was followed by a Commercial that started off talking about
inflation and was worded so I thought it was a part of a newscast but it turned
out to be about how to get a home loan.
>If you are still reading this Blog Posting and you are paying attention,
this is the same Commercial as the second one on this list above.
Ø That Commercial was followed by a Commercial from that guy who loves his pillow so much he wants all of us to buy one just like it.
That did it. The show was over, or so I thought, and we were encouraged to tune in tomorrow.
Then the show continued after it was over and...
Ø A Commercial came on about a pill we could take that would balance our nature.
Ø That Commercial was followed by a Commercial about how we could get out of our Evil Time Share.
Yes, My Dear Readers...
The Last More Than 14 Minutes of the Show Was a No Show At All.
IT WAS ALL COMMERCIALS!
Aghhhh!
Smartfella
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