2020 Census Mistakes...Or were they?

If you can't trust the Census Bureau, who can you trust?

This is a terrible injustice to the people in the states that were undercounted:

• The Electoral College is Misconfigured for the rest of this decade.
• Representation in Congress is Not Correct for the rest of this decade.
• Billions in Federal Funding is Going to the Wrong Places for the rest of this decade.

Excerpts from the Shocking Report about all of this (1^st 4 paragraphs & 12^th paragraph):

• In a shocking report, the U.S. Census Bureau recently admitted that it overcounted the populations of eight states and undercounted the populations of six states in the 2020 census.
• All but one of the states overcounted is a blue state, and all but one of the undercounted states is red.
• Those costly errors will distort congressional representation and the Electoral College. It means that when the Census Bureau reapportioned the House of Representatives, Florida was cheated out of two additional seats it should have gotten; Texas missed out on another seat; Minnesota and Rhode Island each kept a representative they shouldn’t have; and Colorado was awarded a new member of the House it didn’t deserve.
• These harmful errors also mean billions in federal funds will be misallocated. Funding for many federal programs is distributed to the states based on population. Overcounted states will now receive a larger share of federal funds than they are entitled to, at the expense of the undercounted states.
• Unfortunately, the federal statutes governing the census and apportionment provide no remedy to correct this problem.

To read the whole article click here...https://www.dailysignal.com/2022/08/18/census-errors-will-distort-elections-funding-for-next-decade/

Would they kid us?

Smartfella

How to Get Rich in the Good Ole USofA (Or Anywhere Else)

Come up with an idea that promises to Make People...

• Rich
• Better Looking
• Healthier

Come up with a TV Commercial where your Spokesman is...

• An Imitation or a Real Doctor (The most important thing is that he wears a white coat when he speaks his prepared-for-him­-by-someone-smarter-than-he-is lines as if he knows of which he speaks)
• A Sports “Hero”
• A Celebrity

Come up with Believable Evidence that what you are selling is true...

• Fake Believable Evidence is a perfectly good substitute for Fact Based Believable Evidence as long as it sounds Believable.

This Blog Posting will talk about getting Rich.

************

For years now we have been seeing a TV Commercial that has been making a fortune for the people putting on a TV Commercial that is unbelievably unbelievable but people still believe it. Not a quote but this is what the Commercial pitches to us...

If You Buy Silver From Us, And If Silver Returns To Its All-Time High, You Are Gonna Be Rich

Here it is “proof” from one of their experts:

Silver has been known to experience Massive Price Swings. I expect Silver to reach $300 an ounce. 

Fella Question of the Day...If you buy their Silver you are going to be rich. If that is true, why don’t the selling people who already own the Silver now just keep it, and then when it goes past its $300 an ounce, they will be rich instead of you being rich?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

My Local Park Forgot Something...Or did they?

A County Park near where I live thinks life is Simple but they forgot something that is important, or should I say, Used To Be Important?

They forgot Work!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

After Sending $312 Million We Are Down To One of Two Possible Reasons for the Heat Out There

A Gaggle of Scientists have been researching this troubling issue for the last 12 years. Thank heaven our Congress, which never runs out of money, saw the importance of coming to an understanding about why in recent years it has been so hot in the Good Ole USofA. Congress gave the Scientific Gaggle a Federal Grant of $312 Million to figure it all out.

After 7 years of research Congress got anxious for results and called a hearing about why the research was taking so long. The hearing came to a surprising conclusion when the First Testifying Scientist told the First Questioning Senator that the research was going to take another 5 years or a total of 12 years.

The Senator’s eyes became as big a baseballs and he leaned forward in his very plush chair and he said, “Just because you are a spitting image of Albert Einstein you should not for a second think you are going to get away with throwing a 12 year completion date around like that as if you were not talking to intelligent people. Be advised the members of this committee are smart people because, if we were not smart, the citizens of this great country would not have elected us to represent them”.

The First Testifying Scientist was not intimidated in the least and he shot back at the First Questioning Senator, “Don’t you get all high and might with me, First Questioning Senator, it is the fault of Congress that we are required to take 12 years to complete this project. The fact that Congress gave us $312 Million means we must take 12 Years to complete our research. If we had been given $306 Million we would have wrapped it all up last year. Be glad Congress did not give us $349 Million because that would have meant that our Task Completion Goal would have been 49 Years”.

The Einstein looking guy did not let up, “We have been under the gun to wrap up this project because we were coming to the end of our required 12 years of research last week. We were in our big palatial conference room having narrowed the possible conclusions for these high temperatures down to Global Warming or Climate Change. We were about to flip our Scientific Coin to pick one of the 2 when the janitor who was emptying our trash cans overheard our 2 choices and he said, ‘It could be hot out there because it is August’.

Immediately that sent a shock through the Scientific Gaggle and we stopped working on conclusion paperwork and began working on a proposal to ask Congress for another Federal Research Grant in order to really drill down deep into this mystery. We all were aware of the need for urgency in this matter, so when you see our submitted proposal I’m sure you will appreciate the fact that this time we only asked for $311 Million”. 

That having been said, the Committee Chairman adjoined the Hearing and went to Happy Hour early but not before telling the members that they will reconvene in 11 years.

This is why the other 3 Einsteins did not get to testify.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Further proof that the committee members were not smart...

Ø The Testifying Scientist looked like Albert Einstein because he was wearing white going-in-all-directions wig and a very big white mustache that he had bought from a Dollar Store.

Ø The other 3 members of the Scientific Testifying Panel (who never got to testify) also had been to the Dollar Store and they also looked exactly like Albert Einstein.

Ø When the 4 man Scientific Testifying Panel was seating themselves at the beginning of the hearing a Congressional Committee Member leaned over and said to his adjoining Congressional Committee Member, “I thought Albert Einstein was dead”.

Ø The adjoining Congressional Committee Member responded, “Me too but, more importantly, I never knew Albert Einstein was 4 people”.

Remember, “Be advised the members of this committee are smart people because, if we were not smart, the citizens of this great country would not have elected us to represent them”.

 

You (WHO) Gotta Be Kidding...No You (WHO) Ain’t

This Blog Posting is a result of the ongoing confusion coming out of the World Health Organization (WHO). Specifically I am referring to a News Article explaining (or does it?) why WHO is re-naming Monkeypox to something other than Monkeypox. Fella will not try and explain the News Article to you because he can’t understand enough of it to explain it to you or he is too busy laughing or he is too busy scratching his head over it.

Here is a short excerpt from the News Article. The excerpt may be all you need to read to know that you don’t want to read the whole article. On the other hand, it may wet you appetite for Foolishness, and if it does, go right ahead and “educate” yourself.

The Excerpt:

"Current best practice is that newly-identified viruses, related diseases and virus variants should be given names with the aim to avoid causing offence to any cultural, social, national, regional, professional, or ethnic groups, and minimise any negative impact on trade, travel, tourism or animal welfare". 

************

Did you do a double take when you read the words, "Animal Welfare"? Did you understand the use of or did you start laughing or did you scratch your head when you read these 2 words? I assume WHO is talking about Monkey Welfare. Just how are Monkeys harmed if some not-sensitive bozo says "Monkeypox" while sitting in a barber chair in Toledo? 

I have thought about this and my thinking came up with these possibilities (notice I did not say "Distinct Possibilities")...

• Will people get so irate at Monkeys that they will start signing up for Safaris to Africa to go shoot them?
  
• Will children on zoo visits start booing monkeys instead of laughing as they always have when the Monkeys perform one of their time-tested tricks in the Monkey Enclosure?
• Will Hollywood start scrubbing the image of Cheeta out of Tarzan reruns on TV. This is really going to be strange when we see Tarzan and Jane looking down a screen smudge where Cheeta used to be and talking to and laughing at the smudge.

Cheeta was treated well after his movie making career was over. Around 1960, after living on Johnny Weissmuller’s estate, Cheeta retired to Suncoast Primate Sanctuary in Palm Harbor, Fla. While at the sanctuary, Cheeta enjoyed watching sports on television, listening to nondenominational Christian music and occasionally throwing poop when he was feeling disgruntled.

Actress Mia Farrow, whose mother, Maureen O’Sullivan, starred as Jane in the Tarzan films, took to Twitter to remember the animal when he died. She tweeted, “Cheeta the chimp in Tarzan movies died this week at 80. My mom, who played Jane, invariably referred to Cheeta as ‘that bastard’.”

If the public had turned against Monkey Welfare would Cheeta have been denied his Royal Retirement Treatment and simply been turned loose into the Homeless Encampment Streets of Portland or San Francisco or Los Angeles to fend for himself? 

************

Here is the link to the news article:

https://www.msn.com/en-au/news/australia/why-are-they-changing-the-name-for-monkeypox-whats-the-origin-of-the-name/ar-AA10Hys4

************

If WHO really does want us to know what it is they say we should worry about, Fella recommends that it should dictate that after every time their new name for Monkey Pox is written out these words should be required to be added...“Formerly Known As Monkeypox”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: One thing I did learn from all of this is not everyone spells “minimize” with a “z”.

 

 

I Think Differently

Since I do think differently, you will never see a Senator Fella in political office.

The other day I heard a U.S. Senator say on CSPAN...

“When I was a governor I asked, what is the revenue of this income source or that income source? Once I knew that, I knew what our spending limit was.”

What does Fella think about what this Ex-Governor thinks? He thinks this Ex-Governor is characteristic of too many politicians (all politicians after they have been in office for 5 to 6 weeks?). They think they were sent to Congress to Spend It All.

It is as if Al Gore had gotten rid of all rainy days, therefore, our politicians do not see the need to save any money for a rainy day. Since Al did what he did, politicians see no need to put any revenue into one of those Lock Boxes ole Al used to talk about.

We are surrounded by politicians who whole heartedly believe in the large sign Senator Snidely Whiplash had printed up and hung over the bar at Happy Hour which reads...

We must spend it all as fast as we can and, if we get lucky, some of it might end up being spent on something that might do some good, but if that does not happen, at least we will have the satisfaction of knowing We Spent It All.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Fella Question of the Day for Today

The Thirty Years' War from 1618 to 1648 was one of the most destructive wars in European History. An estimated 4.5 to 8 million soldiers and civilians died as a direct result, while some areas of Germany experienced extreme and repeated population declines.

After 25 years the various combatants were looking for a way out of the killing, destruction and/or the cost of the war. Also they may have started to run out of gunpowder, rifle balls, clubs, spears or hobnailed boots (for stomping the enemy into bloody pulps). They started negotiating an end of it all. However even the peace negotiations were difficult. “Difficult” is probably not an adequate word to describe the negotiations considering the fact that the negotiating lasted 5 years and the fighting continued while the negotiations were going on. The fact that one side or the other were winning or losing at any particular time in the negotiations would change their willingness to concede anything about anything or prompt them to increase their demands at the negotiation table.

Fella’s Question of the Day: Do you think Pope Innocent X had strong feelings about the Peace of Westphalia?

The Treaty that ended the 30 Years War was the Treaty of Westphalia sometimes called the Peace of Westphalia. The treaty also effectively ended the Pope's pan-European political power. Fully aware of the loss, Pope Innocent X declared the treaty, "null, void, invalid, iniquitous, unjust, damnable, reprobate, inane, empty of meaning and effect for all times".

Fighting being over for the day it is time to relax and enjoy some Hang Time with the guys...

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Smartphones Make Your Life Better...Or do they?

This Blog Posting will attempt to lay out for you some of the reasons why God called Steve Jobs off of his cloud and sent him somewhere else.

In many ways Smartphones have made our lives more difficult to live...

Ø Many of us feel a dramatic need to always be connected. 

Ø Many of us are compulsively checking our phones multiple times every hour.

Ø We are so obsessed with our phones 63% of us sleep with our phones in or next to our beds.

Ø This percent jumps to 73 percent among Millennials.

Ø Notifications are a constant source of interruption and tension.

Ø 28% of us feel annoyed when a notification goes off.

Ø 22% of us get anxious when a notification comes out of their phones.

Ø Still 65% of us say smartphones have made their quality of life better.  

Ø 42% of us would still prefer to communicate in-person but they don’t.

Ø 21% of us choose texting as the next best way to connect.

Ø 16% of us would prefer picking up the phone to communicate but they don’t.

Ø 51% (67% of Millennials) are convinced they could not live without their Smartphones.

Ø 27% percent feel worse about themselves after spending time on social media.

Ø Most young people see social media as a time-suck.

Ø 59% think that the Federal Government ought to make it all better by passing regulations. Can you say Pandora’s Box?

Wherever he is, I wonder if Steve Jobs is sorry for what he has done to us.

Fella Opinion: We should not blame Steve. He only created this modern marvel for us but he did not force us to take off running with it and, don't kid yourself, we are running down hill.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Here Is A Story about A Record That Never Was But It Almost Was and If It Was It Would Be Unbreakable

Some of you don’t care about Football and because you don’t care about Football you may be tempted to not read this Blog Posting but if you are intrigued by What If’s read on because this is a Great What If.

This Blog Posting is about a Football Touchdown Passing Record that could have been, and if it had been, it would be Unbreakable because it would be Unbreakable.

First, let’s talk about the record that is not a What If Record but an Actual Existing Record.

Drew Brees holds the NFL record (54 games) for consecutive games with at least one touchdown pass. He set the record on October 7, 2012, when he surpassed the streak of 47 consecutive games by Johnny Unitas which had stood since December 11, 1960. Yes, Unitas had held the record for nearly 52 years after surpassing Cecil Isbell's streak of 23, which had been established as the record in 1942. Brees' record streak ended on Thursday November 29, 2012.

Tom Brady, at 52 games, is in 2^nd place. Brady was in 2^nd place to several Brees’ records (Brady was drafted 1 year before Brees). Now that Brees has retired and Brady is still playing that is changing.

Here are some interesting facts about the game where Drew Brees came up short which is something that did not happen to him very often...

Ø Brees almost had it to 55 games in a row late in the second quarter.

Ø He connected with Darren Sproles for a touchdown pass that would have pulled the Saints within three points at the half.

Ø Instead, tight end Jimmy Graham drew a penalty for offensive pass interference that negated that touchdown.

Ø Lance Moore was known as a Sure Handed Receiver.

Ø Moore had a very good game that day (7 receptions for 123 yards with the ball being thrown to him 11 times).

Ø Moore led all Saints in receiving that game.

Ø Moore’s 123 receiving yards was a season-high and just his third 100-yard game of the season. 

Ø  In the 4^th quarter Moore was wide open and uncovered when Brees threw him a short pass for what looked to be a sure touchdown but Moore Dropped the Ball!

************

That’s the end of the Record that is the Record. Now I am going to tell you about the Record that isn’t a Record...

Ø The next game that the Saints played Drew Brees started a New Completion Streak.

Ø This streak lasted from December 9, 2012 through November 29, 2015.

Ø I save you the trouble of trying to figure out how many games that was...This streak was 45 games!

The bottom line is, if Sure Handed Lance Moore had not dropped that short pass in the end zone while he was uncovered, Brees’ Consecutive Regular Season Games with a Touchdown Pass Record would be 55 Games plus 45 Games or an Even 100 Games!

Now do you understand why I said above that Drew Brees would be holding a record that would be acknowledged as an Unbreakable Record for the very good reason that it would be an Unbreakable Record!

Where is Tom Brady in all of this? He is still in second place at 52 Games.

If you are one that has no interest in Football, Football Records, Drew Brees, Tom Brady, the NFL or even Johnny Unitas, I am sorry you read this Blog Posting. Go back to the top of this Blog Posting and not read what you just read and that will make it all better and save you a lot of time...Or will it?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

I’m Not Smart Enough!

 

I just read a news article that convinced me that I am not smart enough to understand what the heck Congress is doing. I don’t feel too badly about my admission of Not Smartness because I am also convinced that most members of Congress are not smart enough to know what most members of Congress are doing either.

Here is the News Article that caused my most recent consternation. If you do read it, I caution you that Confusion Will Result...

Seven Dems vote for GOP amendment, forcing Democratic scramble (msn.com)

If You Took the Time to Read This Foolishness, did you understand what you read?

If You Did Not Take the Time to Read This Foolishness, that may be Time Well Not Spent.

************

An alternative course of action would be to FaGetAboutAllOfTheAbove and read my very old Blog Posting about Congressional Smarts (first published in January 2010). I guarantee it is a lot more fun than the News Article above...

Too Many Members Of Congress Can’t Handle Numbers

Lots of numbers are being thrown around our 9% Approval Rating Congress these days. I watched in amazement recently on CSPAN as one of our elected "leaders" said the following …

"My good friend from the other side of the aisle has just voiced strong opposition to my proposal to spend $10 Billion to convert all states that are using Paper Ballots to Electronic Voting Machines and to convert all states who are using Electronic Voting Machines to Paper Ballots. I continue to be amazed at the short sightedness of the Opposition Party and their ongoing inability to handle basic arithmetic with regard to a mere $10 Billion price tag."

"I am sure that the folks back home have no problem with spending $10 Billion for such a worthy project. They understand that 10 is not a big number. 11 is bigger than 10 and so is 12. If I were asking for 18, that ought to give pause to the taxpayers as to how their money is being spent but 10 is only 10.  It is hardly more than 9."

"Beam me up Lord. I can no longer stand being around these penny-pinchers who are not smarter than a 5th grader."

Ok, I admit I made up all of the above … or did I?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

This Just Does Not Make Sense!

I once lived high up on a mountain in a log cabin 8 miles from Dahlonega, GA and 8 miles from Cleveland, GA. That’s where I learned that Scorpions were not so bad because we had Scorpions inside the cabin but we did not have Roaches. I speculated that the Scorpions must have been eating the Roaches and I really don’t like Roaches so I thanked God for the Scorpions each night as I got down on my knees to pray (after I made sure I was not about to kneel near a Scorpion).

When one lives out in nature one’s mind can wander and here is where my mind wandered...

Ø This was about the time when the news shows started really warning us about China.

Ø We were told that China was our enemy because it wanted to do real mean things to us like: kill us all, blow us all up, invade us and take away our smartphones.

Ø My wandering mind wandered all around these issues and it stumbled into this line of thinking...
>Cleveland, Georgia and Dahlonega, Georgia were very close to each other (still are).
>One day the mayor of Cleveland called his City Council together for a meeting at which he laid out this proposed plan of action...
>>Cleveland gets 75% of its retail business activity from the people who live in Dahlonega.
>>He said he was not sure why Dahlonegans were so infatuated with coming to Cleveland to shop but Cleveland’s Chamber of Commerce has shown him the statistics which documented that this had been the case for the last 20 years.
>>He then proposed to the Council that Cleveland set up its Guided Missile Battalion tonight and first thing in the morning send enough Ballistic Missiles to Dahlonega to wipe Dahlonega off the face of the Earth.

Having heard the Mayor’s Plan of Action the Council held a short discussion and voted 100% to approve what he had proposed.

Do you get my drift? Why would Clevelandites want to kill all the people who are contributing so much to Cleveland’s Economy?

It is not a quantum leap to then ask why does China want to be so mean to the Good Ole USofA a country which is contributing so much to the Economy of the People’s Republic of China.

Time for the Yea’s...

Ø Yea I know this is Silly.

Ø Yea I know it is Foolishness.

Ø Yea I know I don’t know what I am talking about...again.

As Silly and Foolish as this Blog Posting is, can any one of you explain to me why it is not Mind Wandering Worthy?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Isn’t it strange how Communists Countries insist on naming themselves as if they were not Communists Countries...

Ø China ... People ’s Republic of China

Ø Soviet Union ... Union of Soviet Socialist Republics

Ø East Germany ... The German Democratic Republic

Who Do You Believe?

There once was a TV Show called, Who Do You Trust?  This Blog Posting will tell you how to find someone you can trust.

Many might advise you to go to Experts in whatever field you are seeking to be informed about. How do you find a Field Expert? The simplest way is to ask to see their Business Card. If the card says “Expert”, you know you can believe anything and everything that guy will tell you. (Is there a difference between “anything” and “everything”?)

Having said that, I now say this...Don’t believe me.

I once read a Book entitled, ''Nothing Like It in the World'' by Stephen Ambrose. It is about the building of the Transcontinental Railroad. What an Awesome Undertaking!

The book told me there were Experts back in the 1850s (with or without business cards there have always been Experts). Having read the book I now know (and you are about to know) what some Experts were saying back then that was not right about the high speed travel of Railroad Cars vs. the Horse and Buggy. The Experts of the late 1850's were on record as saying...

The Human Body Would Be Harmed If It Were Subjected To Traveling Faster Than 60 Miles Per Hour

Around where I live my fellow travelers go almost this fast as they zip through Stop Signs.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: All Capp (I’ve blogged about him before but if you forget who he was, Google him) said of himself that He Was an Expert on Nothing with an Opinion on Everything.

Very Likely the Only One in the Entire Good Ole USofA!

 

Alan Alda was the most prominent member of the MASH TV Show, so I’ll blame him for this deception...

For 11 Seasons Alan Alda Lied To Us

Alda portrayed Koreans as uneducated shuffling creatures that looked like they came from the distant past who had been left back there in the past by the rest of civilization as everybody else progressed into the present day. We were Really Cool and Koreans were Awfully Not Cool.

I know something about Koreans as they really are (not as Alan Alda said they were) because I am surrounded by Koreans here in the part of the State of Georgia where I live. I don’t know why so many Koreans chose where I live to immigrate to but I know for a fact that every time I turn around There They Are. I even stopped turning around for a week and They Were Still There.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that is a bad thing that there are Koreans all around me. I am simply stating the fact that they are all around me.

We often go to a nearby park to walk a very pleasant trail that goes in a loop for about a mile and a half. On any of our walks we might see Rabbits, Copperhead Snakes and/or Deer. On every one of our walks we are certain to see Koreans walking the opposite direction. If we see 30 humans beings coming at us, 27 of those approaching humans will be Koreans.

************

This bit of Foolishness has gone on for 265 words before the strip of asterisks above and I have yet to say How Alan Alda Lied To Us For 11 Years.

OK here it is...

Alan Alda Always Portrayed Koreans as Poor and Therein is the Lie...They Are Definitely Not Poor!

I wonder what a bunch of American Automobile Tycoons somewhere back in time would have had to say about the proposed shift from European Immigration to Asian Immigration. Would have said through their cigar smoke, “Hell yea! Bring them there Asians in. When they get here they are going to need transportation and they will buy a whole bunch of American Made Automobiles!”

If they had said that, they would have been as wrong as wrong can be. I am The Noticer and I have been Noticing for decades that Asians do not buy American Made Cars. That’s a fact, Jack!

What they do buy are Toyotas, Nissans, Hyundai’s, Kias, Subaru’s, Hondas, Isuzu’s, Mazda’s, Mitsubishis, etc. More specifically they drive the High End Asian Cars...Infiniti, Acura, Lexus.

A small number of them drive German Cars (again the expensive German cars)...BMW, Mercedes-Benz, Porsche or Audi.

There is the Alan Alda Lie...Koreans Are Not Poor! Koreans Are Rich!

************

It finally happened. Within the last month I saw my first Asian driving an American Made Car. Actually I saw my first 2 Asians Driving American Cars. They were both driving Cadillac’s.

Hold on, Fella, did you not take note that both of the 2 Asian Driven American Made Cars were Expensive American Made Cars and were Both Black Cadillac’s. That probably means I saw the same car twice!

Do you remember the Title of this Blog Posting?...

Very Likely the Only One in the Entire Good Ole USofA!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: During my Mediocre Automotive Career I worked for a time for American Motors Corporation. AMC’s main assembly plant was in Kenosha, Wisconsin. I had a brilliant plan about how we could vastly increase our sales output but no one paid me no never mind. If we had changed the name of our company to Kenosha Motors Corporation, the American Buying Public would have thought we were a Japanese Company and sales would have shot up like a rocket.

 

The first great part of my great day was the fact that I played tennis and I hit 2 or 3 good shots.

Before I tell you about the best part of my great day, allow me to set the scene...

Ø At home I feed the Birds, Chipmunks and Squirrels.

Ø Actually I do not intend to feed the Chipmunks and Squirrels.

Ø They climb up pole that holds the Birdfeeder and Feed Themselves!

When I see them eating the bird’s birdseed I often charge out the back door and shout at them as if I am doing something useful and teaching them a lesson but I am doing no such thing. I know they are laughing as they scramble away thinking I am not as smart as they are smart. Today I proved I was smarter than the average Georgia Backyard Chipmunk or Squirrel and, in a moment, you will agree that I am that smart.

I proved my smarts by oiling the Climbing Up Pole with Canola Cooking Oil. Yes my day was made perfect when I watched the Chipmunks and Squirrels try and climb up the Climbing Up Pole only to slide back down to the Bottom of the Climbing Up Pole!

I knew it! I knew I was smarter than a Chipmunk or Squirrel and deep down you knew it too!...Or did u?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Don’t Look Back Because Your Back Might Be Back There and That May Be Major Problems for You

 

Here are the things my chiropractor warned me about. Can’t believe I recorded all of this? I've got nothing else to do...

In about 2003 I was on the ground in my back yard chipping dead branches off of a low tree I had recently transplanted and then I stood up. That was all it took to throw my back out, as they say.

For the next 5 days I did as directed by whoever was the last person I discussed my back situation with:

Ø Put cold on it.

Ø Then I changed to putting heat on it.

Ø Then I changed to putting cold on it.

Ø Then I lay on the floor a lot.

Ø Then I changed to putting heat on it.

Ø Then I lay on the floor and arched my back a lot.

Ø Then I changed to putting cold on it again.

Ø Then I sat on frozen peas.

Ø Then I repeated all of the above.

After 5 days it felt better. I went to play in the Golden Senior Olympics Doubles Tournament. We rolled along singing a song for 12 games. We were headed for a gold medal. I glided up to the service line and reached for a simple back hand shot and my back exploded in two violent shocks and I was on my hands and knees moaning (my partner said my whole body was quivering). I was done for the day and for weeks thereafter. Guess it was not much of a tournament because after only playing 12 games we had won enough games to get a Bronze Medal.

My daughter talked me into going to a Chiropractor. I have always thought of Chiropractors as kooks. I still may but this Chiropractor has helped me. I have a reoccurring problem but it is under control and I am back on the tennis court.

I'm doing quite well. I sit on peas a lot.

************

My Chiropractor gave me a lot of advice. I am going to now pass this advice onto each of you. This is another demonstration of how nice a guy I am.

Chiropractic-Don't Do's To Protect You from Your Back

Ø Tension is bad. If something terrible happens and you get really sad, your back could attack you

Ø Tension is bad. Good tension is also bad. If something great happens and you get really happy, your back could attack you.

Ø The Vacuum Cleaner is bad. It should be moved by walking forward and backward but not by bending your back to and fro. If you move to and fro using your back to do the toing and froing, your back could attack you.

Ø If you are in a squat down position and you reach forward and you then stand up, your back could attack you.

Ø If when you get up from a squat down position you don't look up as far as your neck will allow you to look up, your back could attack you.

Ø If when you sit in a chair, you do not do it with your back straight, on the edge of the chair and then slide into the chair, your back could attack you.

Ø If when you get up out of a chair you don't slide forward to the edge and stand up with your eyes looking at the far wall/horizon with your back straight, your back could attack you.

Ø If you use artificial sweeteners of any kind, your back could attack you.

Ø If you intake caffeine, your back could attack you.

Ø If you intake certain kinds of tea, your back could attack you.

Ø If you don't hydrate your body by drinking lots of fluids the day of exercise but especially the day before exercise, your back could attack you.

Ø If you don't hydrate your body everyday by drinking lots of fluids, your back could attack you.

Ø If you sleep on your side without placing your knees one on top of the other, your back could attack you.

Ø If you twist around in your car to get something out of the back seat, your back could attack you.

Ø If you lay on the floor to watch an NBA Basketball Game with your legs fully extended, your back could attack you.

Ø If you reach too far when cleaning your windshield with a squeegee, your back could attack you.

Ø If you drink straight Gatorade, your back could attack you.

Ø If you don't put cold on your injured back (she recommends using a 5 pound bag of Wal-Mart Frozen Peas to put the cold where the cold should be put), your back could attack you.

Ø If you put heat on your injured back too often, your back could attack you.

Ø If you don't put one foot on something so it is higher than the other when you bend over the sink to rinse your face, your back could attack you.

Ø If you are standing up straight, you should have one foot in front of the other. If you don't have one foot in front of the other, your back could attack you.

So you see, if you have a bad back, everything you have been doing your whole life has been bad for your back. If you had just stayed in your baby crib and lay on your side with your knees one-on-top of the other until you went away to college, your back would not have attacked you.

Taking care of your peas.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: This comment came from a Vietnam buddy...

BTW, how the hell could those little lumps (frozen peas) help your back ???? Tee hee. I'm not sure if this was a serious question but I'll answer it anyway. She believes in putting COLD on the problem. The peas mold to the back and 5 pounds covers a wide enough area. Of course, you have to keep working at the peas to keep them from becoming one big frozen lump cuz you keep taking them in and out of the freezer. This means that when you take them out of the freezer you sometimes pound on 'em with your fist OR put 'em on the floor and walk and stomp all over them. You have to be careful doing this cuz, since it is 5 pounds high, you could fall off of the peas and hurt your back. 

 

Do What I Tell You To Do Now. The Consequences Of Doing What I Tell You To Do Now Will Be Addressed Later. Trust Me.

 

I did not write this...

Warning About ‘Environmental Danger’ of Solar Transition: LA Times

The LA Times published a report Thursday detailing the “environmental danger” of expired solar panels on the environment.

“California has been a pioneer in pushing for rooftop solar power, building up the largest solar market in the U.S.,” the article began. “More than 20 years and 1.3 million rooftops later, the bill is coming due.”

The Times’ Rachel Kisela reported that many solar panels that were purchased beginning in 2006, when the California government “showered subsidies on homeowners” to inspire a transition away from fossil fuels, are now reaching the end of their lifespan.

“Beginning in 2006, the state, focused on how to incentivize people to take up solar power, showered subsidies on homeowners who installed photovoltaic panels but had no comprehensive plan to dispose of them. Now, panels purchased under those programs are nearing the end of their 25-year lifecycle,” Kisela reported.

The problem is, when solar panels end up in landfills, “components that contain toxic heavy metals such as selenium and cadmium can contaminate groundwater.”

This is an example of how environmental policies can have unintended consequences. “The looming challenge over how to handle truckloads of contaminated waste illustrates how cutting-edge environmental policy can create unforeseen hazards down the road,” she said.

The Times reported that “as California barreled ahead on its renewable-energy program, focusing on rebates and — more recently — a proposed solar tax, questions about how to handle the toxic waste that would accrue years later were never fully addressed.”

“Now, both regulators and panel manufacturers are realizing that they don’t have the capacity to handle what comes next,” she continued.

Toxic waste from solar panels is not just a Californian problem, but a problem nationwide. “About 140,000 panels are installed every day in the United States, and the solar industry is expected to quadruple in size between 2020 and 2030,” Kisela said.

But there are difficulties surrounding disposal of solar panels, “Recycling solar panels isn’t a simple process. Highly specialized equipment and workers are needed to separate the aluminum frame and junction box from the panel without shattering it into glass shards.”

“Specialized furnaces are used to heat panels to recover silicon. In most states, panels are classified as hazardous materials, which require expensive restrictions on packaging, transport and storage,” she continued.

“A lack of consumer awareness about the toxicity of materials in the panels and how to dispose of them is part of the problem,” Kisela wrote.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella