No Chit Sherlock!

A Waste of Time Headline...

White House Guidelines for Reopening the Economy Garner Mixed Reviews

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Of course, there are Mixed Reviews.

Don’t think you will ever see a headline that reads... 

White House Guidelines Are Without Exception Welcomed and Praised By Everyone In The Country!

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If a Thousand Dollar Bill was sent to every man, woman and child in the Good Ole USofA, we would hear this kind of Mixed Reviews coming back from an awful lot of the Thousand Dollar Bill Recipients...

Ø The mailman’s delivery route always delivers mail to the people across the street before he delivers to my side of the street. Why should the people who live on the other side of the street get their money before I get my money?!

Ø Every night on TV I see Congress throwing money at everything you can imagine and all I get is a measly $1,000!

Ø Yes I got a check for each of my 3 children but I don’t understand why families that have more children than I have receive more checks than I do!

Ø Money is free to our government. It has lots of printing presses. It should have printed more $1,000 bills!

Ø My bill had a corner that was bent! I demand an unbent bill!

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Do you think I went too far this time? OK, I’ll concede that may be the case. I hereby pledge I will stop going too far when I no longer hear people call up radio talk shows and saying things like this...

Of Course, I Know What Roe vs. Wade Was All About. It Was The Very Difficult Decision That General George Washington Had To Make Before He Crossed The Delaware River.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Don’t Get Excited. This Is Not A New Blog Posting.

I’m sure many of you have not noticed that my Blog can be translated into many different languages. All one has to do is do some clicking in the Left Column of any Blog Posting where it says, “Translate Into Your Own language” and, before you know it, you can be reading my Blog in a language you can’t understand. (Does it make sense to say, “reading my Blog in a language you can’t understand”?)

 

During the Coronavirus Attack I know you are busy doing nothing so I went to the trouble to set up today’s Blog Posting into Chinese (Simplified) but it did not work because every blog I ever posted became Chinese (Simplified).

 

I’m now going to turn you loose to do the Translation Conversion on your own:

Ø Open my last Blog Posting: https://forii.blogspot.com/2020/04/question-why-do-you-dislike-that-guy-so.html

Ø In the left column click on, “Translate Into Your Own language”.

Ø Then click on, “Chinese (Simplified)”.

After you are done not reading Chinese, be sure to reverse the process and get back into English or you will find yourself in Night School taking Chinese (Simplified).

If you want to see it in Chinese (Traditional) have at it but, I warn you, you may not be able to understand it either (unless you are Chinese).

Simplified is not as Simple as it used to be (unless you are Chinese).

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Question: Why Do You Dislike That Guy So Much? Answer: At first I Liked Him But Then I Found Out He Was From Another State And That's When I Knew He Was Evil.

BC...Before Coronavirus

On August 26, 2007 I wrote a Blog Posting about the Chaos that existed before the Chinese invented Coronavirus. It was a long Blog Posting and, even though it was Well Written, I won’t repeat the whole Blog Posting in this Blog Posting but I will give you 3 of its Well Written Bullet Points to set the stage for this Well Written Blog Posting...

Before our Founding Fathers came up with the Constitution, Chaos was having its way with the Good Ole USofA…

Ø The cooperation among the states, forged in the 1770s and sustained during the war, had vanished with independence.
Ø Competition and exploitation reigned, and the revival of a fierce localism pitted Virginian against Marylander, New Yorker against New Jerseyite, Georgian against South Carolinian.
Ø Connecticut and New Jersey were rumored to be planning a joint assault on New York.

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What Goes Around Comes Around.

AC...After Coronavirus

Pennsylvania’s Liquor Control Board announced March 16 that liquor stores would close the next day...

Ø The state was hoping to keep residents at home.

Ø Instead Pennsylvania Residents flocked to buy booze while they still could buy booze.

Ø Lines stretched around the block.

Ø Sales spiked to $29.9 million in a single day.

Denver saw a similar rush when Mayor Michael Hancock announced that liquor stores would not be considered Essential Businesses...

Ø The mayor told his minions not to panic buy.

Ø The minions panicked.

Ø Within hours the Governor reversed course.

Ø The liquor stores stayed open.

You are probably wondering why Colorado is smarter than Pennsylvania. I know why and you are about to know why because I am going to tell you why...

It’s because they are all smoking Marijuana and they are able to think clearly.

...Or is it?

Back in Pennsylvania the closures continued…

Ø Many residents are now driving to neighboring states to buy alcohol.

Ø West Virginia is refusing to sell liquor to anyone without a West Virginia ID.

Ø Delaware police are pulling over out-of-state drivers and instructing them to go home.

Ø Pennsylvania’s Liquor Control Board resumed limited Online Sales but it restricts orders to six bottles per transaction.

Ø The number of Online Orders immediately overwhelmed the site.

Ø The state now rations access to the Online Store.

Black markets thrive when the government refuses to let supply match demand, so expect to see rum runners make a comeback.

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I’ve got an idea. Let’s bring back Prohibition.

Did you just say we tried that before and it did not work?

I was ready for you to say that and I will give you the Socialism Perfect Answer…

Prohibition Did Not Work Because It Was Not Done Right. We Will Do It Right This Time Because We Are Smarter Than We Used To Be.

Above is the Socialism Perfect Answer for having another crack at Prohibition. To use the Socialism Perfect Answer to advocate another crack at Socialism the Socialism Perfect Answer must be modified to read...

Socialism Did Not Work Because It Was Not Done Right All Those Other Times It Was Tried. We Will Do It Right This Time Because We Are Smarter Than We Used To Be.

...Or are we?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

What Me Worry?

Are you worried? Did I just hear you say, “Worry about what?”

Pardon me. I thought it was obvious. I’m, of course, talking, about the United States National Debt.

Are you wondering what started me pecking out this confusion? It was because I was just sitting here reading the November 15, 2004 issue of Business Week. I know you are familiar with that issue…Or are you?

Here’s what caught my eye…

“With a $7.7 Trillion Budget Deficit, It’s Time to Cut Spending!”

As I usually do, I will now remind you about just how much money we are talking about…

A Trillion is a Thousand Billion and a Billion is a Thousand Million and a Million is a Thousand Thousand and, being as Smart As I Know You Are, You Immediately Grasped That $7.7 Trillion Is 7 Thousand 700 Billion Dollars.

But we have nothing to worry about because Business Week caught our Congress’ Attention back in November 2004 and Congress Cut Spending … Or did it?

The Current U.S. National Debt is More Than $24 Trillion and Growing Bigger Each Second That Passes!

Since I already showed you how much money we are talking about I won’t do it again but maybe you ought to start worrying. On the other hand, why should you be the only one?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Why Are You In Here?

I Don’t Normally Burden My Dear Readers with Two Blog Postings in One Day but This Is an Emergency

The finely dressed new inmate is roughly shoved into his new cell. He looks ill at ease. Already in the cell is the inmate who somehow looks right at home in the new inmate’s new cell.

They both want to be friendly so they strike up a conversation…

Ø Hi, my name is Howard. What’s your name?

Ø My name is Randolph but everyone calls me by my nickname, Killer.

Ø Hi, Killer.

Ø Hi, Howard.

Ø Tell me, Killer, have you been in here a long time?

Ø You might say that, Howard, I’ve been here since 1987.

Ø Wow, Killer, that is a long time.

Ø Killer, may I call you Killer?

Ø Sure, everyone else calls me Killer, why should you be an exception?

Ø Why are you in here, Killer?

Ø Well, as you probably have guessed from my nickname, I have killed people. Actually I killed a lot of people. I killed my wife. I killed her boyfriend. I guess I should qualify that. I killed a guy who I thought was her boyfriend but he just turned out to be someone she sat next to on the bus. I killed my neighbor’s dog because he barked after 9 o’clock at night. Then I had to kill my neighbor because he objected to my killing his dog for barking after 9 o’clock at night. Since I have been in here, I killed 3 cellmates, but I think I am reformed, because I have not killed a cellmate in the last 7 years.

Ø Howard was speechless.

Ø Killer felt obligated to keep the conversation going so he asked why Howard was in jail.

Ø Howard told him he has violated the Coronavirus State Mandate to Shelter In Place and he had gone to Good Friday Services at his Church.

Ø Killer’s eyes got big as saucers. All of a sudden he looked downright frightened. He jumped up and ran and grabbed the bars of their cell and started shouting, “Guard, get me outta here! Get me outta here!” Then he turned to face Howard keeping his back up against the bars and while grasping the bars over his head with his clenched hands he continued shouting, “Be quick about it! And send someone to help me move my stuff!”

In these uncertain times we all have our own fears and some of those fears are not only new but they are downright overwhelming.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Corona Beer Is Going Out Of Business…Or is it?

Attention Grabbing Headlines are created to get us to read News Articles.

Very often Attention Grabbing Headlines are created to get us to read News Articles that we might not have bothered to read if that Attention Grabbing Headline had not been specifically designed to deceive us into thinking that there was some juicy news in that News Article that is actually not in that News Article.

A good example of what the above confusing paragraph tried to say is this Deceptive Attention Grabbing Headline…

Corona Beer Stops Production

What does this imply?

• Corona Beer Sales have fallen like a rock.
• Corona Beer is going to go out of business.
• Congress needs to step in and pass a Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security Act (number next) for Corona Beer.
  ➽I had to put in the word “next” instead of an actual number because there is no telling how many Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security Acts will have been passed by the time Congress gets around to saving Corona Beer.

At the bottom of this Blog Posting you will find the link to the News Article that inspired this Blog Posting. You can read it, if you want to, but you might not want to read it because I am about to peck out the gist of what it says. (Many of you will likely read it to see if I was lying when I pecked out the gist)…

• Corona’s coincidental name with the Coronavirus has not dented sales.
• Corona Beer Sales have not fallen like a rock.
• Corona Beer is not going out of business.
• Grupo Modelo, the company that makes several different beers including Corona Beer, said its sales have actually accelerated 24% in the first three weeks of March compared to a year ago with Modelo and Corona being its top sellers.

Are you asking yourself, if all of the above is true and Fella is not lying, why has Corona halted production? The reason is because the…

Mexican Government Has Shuttered Non-Essential Businesses.

Now you know why Mexico has not conquered the world. A country that has a government that is so misguided that it actually thinks the Production of Beer is a Non-Essential Business is not too smart and it will never become a world power.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Here’s the link… https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/03/business/corona-beer-production/?iid=ob_article_organicsidebar_expansion

In The Age Of Coronavirus I Am Discombobulated About Lots Of Things And One Of The Most Befuddling Is China.

There is a lot that I don’t understand and you, Dear Readers, can help me. Please read through this series of bullet points and enlighten me about the last one…

Ø First Day News Report: The Chinese Government says that there are a few cases of the Coronavirus in a few parts of China but everything is under control.

Ø Second Day News Report: The Chinese Government reports that hospitals in Wuhan are handling a very light increase in cases comfortably but unnamed sources are telling international news agencies inside the country that hospitals all over Wuhan are bursting at the seams.

Ø Third Day News Report: The Chinese Government reported today that Ventilators and N-95 Face Mask Supplies are to the point where any day now China will begin sharing their abundant surplus with other countries across the globe but videos have come across the Internet of doctors, nurses and patients wrestling for control of ventilators and ripping face masks off of each other in the hallways of Wuhan General Hospital.

Ø Fourth Day News Report: The Chinese Government reported today that New Cases of the Coronavirus have fallen to the point where the Curve Has Definitely Been Flattened but Mr. Anonymous (disguised as a potted plant) has reported from his balcony that the streets below his hotel room are crowded with throngs of people desperate to get out of Wuhan and they are trampling each other to death as they flee the city in all directions.

Ø Fifth Day News Report: A Wuhan doctor who attempted to warn the public about a potential Coronavirus outbreak died on Friday from the Coronavirus Infection. The doctor who was widely hailed as a hero after it emerged had been targeted by police for spreading "rumors" about the virus, when he was in fact sharing accurate information to try and raise the alarm. Government officials labeled this as Fake News saying that the Doctor was actually on vacation at a resort on the South China Sea with his family.

Ø Sixth Day News Report: The world is now absolutely certain that the Chinese Government is not to be trusted when it comes to any information about the Coronavirus.

Ø Seventh Day News Report: The United States Government Reports that it has had 3,251 people die of the Coronavirus. A short while later the Chinese Government Reports that it has had 3,250 people die of the Coronavirus and our News Media goes bonkers with these Headlines…
>>> What the heck is wrong with us?
>>> It is unconscionable that the United States should have more deaths from the Coronavirus than China!
>>> Our Government has been telling us about all that it is doing for us to fight the Coronavirus and now we find out that China has fewer deaths than we do!
>>>All Is Lost!

Would China kid us?

Smartfella

Are We Obsessed With All Things Coronavirus?

Have you noticed that you can’t get any news coverage about anything except Coronavirus? I have and you probably have not but that’s because I am a Noticer and you are not.

Did I hear you just say, “Fella, I think you are exaggerating! This is one of those times when you are dead wrong!”

I can’t believe you just said what you just said to me. If the scenario am about to peck out below comes to pass, you will be apologizing to me for what you just said to me.

The day has come where the Coronavirus is a thing of the past and you hear your TV say to you…

Today the CDC and all equivalent such organizations on Earth have published a joint communication announcing that the Coronavirus has been removed from every country on Mother Earth. The Coronavirus was brought down by a microbe that was discovered inside of the holes of Cheerios Cereal. Once the Coronavirus Killing Properties of this microbe was confirmed it was only a matter of time before a Vaccine was Developed, Produced and Injected into every human being on Earth. The Coronavirus Is A Thing Of The Past!

And now we can catch up on News Items that we just could not get to while Coronavirus was having its way with us. First on our Catching Up On The News List is…

Six weeks ago the People’s Republic of China in cahoots with the Russian Federation dropped five Atomic Bombs on the City of Los Angeles. All Angelenos are dead and the city itself is no more.

OK, I got carried away with this Blog Posting. There is no way this could have happened…Or could it not have?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Don’t Worry About Social Security Going Broke. It Has A Bag Full Of Tricks That You Won’t Believe.

Not only am I a Noticer (Ludwig, let me know if this is a word) but I also am Persnickety.

If you just thought to yourself that I am again making you look up words, I’ll save you the trouble…  

Persnickety…Overly attentive to detail and trivia.

I was looking at my Social Security Benefit Letter for 2020 and I was overcome with relief when it dawned on me that I did not have to worry about Social Security running out of money while I am still around to worry about it running out of money.

Here is the money trick that caught my Noticing Eye today…

1. My (yours does to) letter told me that my Total Social Security Benefit for 2020 was $x,xxx.xx.

2. It then told me (yours does to) that the Social Security Administration (SSA) was deducting from my Total Benefit the amount that I have to pay for Medicare Part B (you do too).

>>>I wonder how many of our fellow citizens don’t know that they pay for Medicare.

3. Then it says my Monthly Social Security Payment is the remainder after subtracting Medicare Part B from my Total Benefit.

Here is one of the points in this saga where my Persnickety Self raised its curious head.

4. I looked at my deposited benefit in my checking account and saw that Actual Monthly Social Security Payment was less than what the letter said was my Monthly Social Security Payment was supposed to be.

5. Here is where I panicked. I saw that I was getting $23.30 less in my checking account than what the SSA said my Monthly Social Security Payment was supposed to be. This meant I would have to call the SSA Office and wait on the phone for an hour while I listened to the worst music you or I have ever heard in our entire lives (they do this on purpose hoping you will give up and hang up). Then a crack SSA Agent who does not care a whit about what your problem is and who sounds like she was hired 20 minutes before she accepted your call and who is mad at you because you did not get mad at the terrible music and hung up the phone says, “May I help you?”.

6. The good news is I was so traumatized by the fear of having to call the SSA that I kept working the numbers and I figured out the $23.30 mystery.

7. What they don’t tell you is the Monthly Social Security Payment they tell you is your Monthly Social Security Payment is not your Monthly Social Security Payment because before they get to the Actual Monthly Social Security Payment they have to deduct your Medicare Part D Payment which, in my case, is $23.30.

>>>I wonder if there is an App that can tell me how many Persnickety Man Hours are wasted each year by people like me trying to figure out why their payment is not what the SSA says their payment is.

I bet you are thinking to yourself, what does this have to with have to do with the SSA using tricks to not run out of money?

Here is the trick…

 There is a line in the letter where it says, “Your Regular Monthly Social Security Benefit is $x,xxx.xx”.

 Right below that line is the Trick in parentheses which reads, (We must round down to the whole dollar”.)

 Don’t ya like where they say they must round down. 

>>>It’s like they are saying, it’s not us it’s them.

 They don’t must round up if over $0.50 and round down if $0.50 and under.

 This means if a Monthly Social Security Payment is $0.01 they round down and if it is $0.99 they round down and they round down for all numbers in between.

Are you saying to yourself, “Self, why is Fella being so Persnickety? What difference, at this point, does it make?” 

I’ll tell you what difference it makes. If we use the average Round-Down Number of $0.50 (in my case it was $0.60) it means the SSA saves $32 Million A Month!

I told you your SSA was Tricky!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The CaronaWorldWeLiveInVirus Is In Control! ... Part 2

More from My Park…

Children’s Playground

We are all in mortal danger!

As you know from my earlier Blog Posting the Playground at my park has been closed and Police Tape had been attached to trees along its perimeter to let all of us know that entering was forbidden.

Since then the Banned Children have been coming up to their Forbidden Playground and staring longingly at where they used to have fun. I have seen many a tear shed during these staring sessions.

Yesterday as I was walking past the Empty Playground a Forbidden Child went up to the Banned Playground so he could stare and be unhappy and he saw that the Safety Tape was no longer making the Playground Safe because it had fallen down to the ground.

I was shocked as the little fellow turned and ran towards his Mother screaming, “Get back! We are in danger! The Police Tape fell down and the germs are getting out!”

Yes, I made up the Terrified Child and his Terrified Terror and what he said to his Mother…Or did I?

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Pavilion

The Park Pavilion has been made safe for all of us by putting up Police Tape and then they removed the 10 to 12 Picnic Tables where we used to sit and spew germs at each other. 

Now if you go inside the Police Tape you are subject to Arrest, Imprisonment (up to 60 days) and a Fine (up to $1,000).

It must’ve been a real chore to move all those picnic benches. They were all one piece with the table and the seats on each side connected and they were extra long and very heavy.

I think they could’ve probably gotten the same result by smearing Jell-O all over the tables and benches and leaving them in place.

I apologize. The Jell-O came out of my Self-Isolated Bored Mind. I admit it is not practical…Or is it not?

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This picture below is an add on that has nothing to do with my Keep-My-Heart-From-Attacking-Me Park. I did it because I was concerned that you might not have gotten your money’s worth out of this Blog Posting…

I Know Of What I Speak. As You Read This Blog Posting Remember My Credentials. I Was Employed In The Automotive Industry For More Than 30 Years, And During That Time, I Rose to The Height Of A Mediocre Career.

Automotive Commercials often show their cars driving through the downtown business districts of large cities while the streets are devoid of other cars.

You have probably never thought much about this happening but I notice it every time I watch an Automotive Commercial because I am a Highly Trained Mediocre Automotive Retiree.

The Coronavirus is going to make the filming of Automotive Commercials Easier and Less Expensive…

Ø To film a Commercial the Automotive Companies have found it necessary to pay for extended periods of time to have the entire Commercial Film Crew waiting on side streets for the main streets to be empty of cars.

Ø Usually they have to stay there waiting for weeks before the Main Street becomes empty and, when it does, they have to run out of the side street and set up all their equipment and film the commercial before cars start appearing again.

Ø More often than not, they get up to the very end of the commercial only to see the whole thing ruined by a vehicle that drove into the middle of all of what they were doing.

Ø One time I saw a bunch of clowns appear. They were the beginning of the Barnum and Bailey Circus Parade.

In life we should appreciate the positive things that come our way while they are coming our way. Appreciate this…

Now all of this Time, Money and Effort will not be wasted because the Coronavirus has made all of the Downtown Streets in the Good Ole USofA empty and available for the filming of Automotive Commercials.

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Several years ago there was a technique used in Automotive Commercials that really confused me. The cars were shown Sliding Sideways on Ice Covered Lakes. I never understood why a person would be tempted to get rid of their perfectly good car that was very practiced at driving straight down a road and replace it with a car that Slid Sideways on a Frozen Lake.

This lack of understanding of the ever evolving Automotive Industry was probably why the Automotive Gods whispered into my confused ears, “Fella, maybe you ought to retire”.

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Another interesting thing (probably only interesting to Fella) about Automotive Commercials is the fact that many of them are now being filmed with the Cars Being Driven on Bridges.

Have you noticed that, for about the last year or so, many Automotive Commercials are being filmed with the cars driving on bridges? If you have not noticed, you will now start noticing because I have just brought it to your attention.

However, there is a Coronavirus Problem obstructing the filming of Automotive Commercials on Bridges. Many of our bridges coming out of our Big Cities are too crowded to allow for Automotive Commercial Filming. This is especially true of the bridges leading out of New York City.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The CaronaWorldWeLiveInVirus Is In Control!

My son is closing on a new Town House in a few days.

He Sent Our Family His Closing Procedure

"Our closing is still on. We are going to do a ‘drive through closing’. We get the sanitized documents in a bag, we are to bring gloves if we have them, and our own pens. They’ll pass the documents into our car, we sign and pass them back out the window."

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My daughter lives in Dallas and she volunteers at the local Food Bank.

She Replied To My Son’s Message with This

"At the Food Bank they pass the ‘qualifying’ paperwork into the car.  The family closes the window and completes the paperwork and holds it up against the window so the Food Bank can take a photo!"

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At my Keep-My-Heart-From-Attacking-Me Park this has happened.

They Closed the Dog Parks

The gate is secured with a large padlock.

My question is, if the Dog and his Guardian (Formerly Known As: Owner) climb over the fence, who pays the $1,000 Fine and/or Spends the 60 Days in Jail, the Dog or the Guardian?

If it is the Guardian, can he get a reduced sentence if he can prove that the dog threatened to bite him?

************

Another at my Keep-My-Heart-From-Attacking-Me Park happening.

They Have Police Taped Off (aks: Closed) the Children’s Playground)

I’m not questioning the necessity for this closing but I do think it is a Sad Picture. L

I have been told that there is a Police Sniper hidden in the trees to enforce the closure if some Little Unlawful Interloper Lopes Under the Tape.

Personally, I do not believe the above. I think it is much more likely that there is a Bureaucrat in those trees and, if and some Little Unlawful Interloper Lopes Under the Tape, the Bureaucrat will spring from the trees and force the little fellow to make a hasty retreat by striking him with his Government Issued Clip Board.

************

I must apologize for this Blog Posting. I have been under Coronavirus House Arrest for more than a week and I am getting Silly.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Speaking of Coronavirus House Arrest, we received this from one of our tennis players, “Unfortunately, I will not be able to play tomorrow.  I am under house arrest until my wife stops watching the news.”

The Poor and My Common Sense Will Always Be With Us But, The Way Things Are Going In Congress The Last Few Days, I Am Beginning To Doubt That We Will Always Be With Us

Our 9% Approval Rated (and falling) Congress is throwing around numbers as if numbers did not count. My Blog Posting (posted at least twice before) makes a strong case that Congress Can’t Count.

Too Many Members of Congress Can’t Handle Basic Arithmetic

This may seem elementary to those of you who have gone through the 5th grade.

Lots of numbers are being thrown around our 9% Approval Rated Congress these days. I watched in amazement recently on CSPAN as one of our elected "leaders" said the following …

"My good friend from across the aisle has just voiced strong opposition to my proposal to spend $10 Billion to convert all states that are using Paper Ballots to Electronic Voting Machines and to convert all states who are using Electronic Voting Machines to Paper Ballots. I continue to be amazed at the short sightedness of the Opposition Party and their ongoing inability to handle basic arithmetic with regard to a mere $10 Billion price tag."

"I am sure that the folks back home have no problem with spending $10 Billion for such a worthy project. They understand that 10 is not a big number. 11 is bigger than 10 and so is 12. If I were asking for 18, that ought to give pause to the taxpayers as to how their money is being spent but 10 is only 10.  It is hardly more than 9."

"Beam me up Lord. I can no longer stand being around these penny-pinchers who are not smarter than a 5th grader."

Ok, I admit I made up all of the above…Or did I?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Have The Fix!

I have been watching a Bunch of Briefings, a Gaggle of Speeches, a Plethora of Poking of Holes in the Air with Collective Fingers (I bet all of you can you guess where that was happening) and all of a sudden The Fix for a major source of this country’s problems hit me like a Flock of Bricks.

One of the doctors I heard speaking pointed out that Children Are Not Susceptible to the Coronavirus. 

That’s It! Don’t You See It? You say you don’t see it. Allow me to get out my Bullet Points and explain it to you…

Ø There are 535 Members in our Congress.

Ø Yes they are the Poking Holes in the Air People referred to above (I’m sure you already knew that).

Ø They have been cooperating with each other all weekend and we found out today that they have failed to pass the Coronavirus Relief Salvation Make It All Go Away Bill.

They failed when they were cooperating with each other. No wonder they get so little accomplished because we all know they have not cooperated with each other for many years. Now we find out that while cooperating they get as much done as when they are not cooperating.

Let’s back to The Fix…

Ø We need to replace the current 535 Members of Congress with 535 children aged 7 to 12 years old.

Ø Since they are 7 to 12 years of age they will not be getting the Coronavirus and having to self-quarantine themselves.

Ø This past weekend has proven that the 7 to 12 year old population in the Good Ole USofA is probably smarter than our current Congress.

OK, again many of you think I have gone off the deep end with this Silly Proposal. I have one arrow left in my quiver that will make you see the logic and viability of The Fix…

Because of their young ages none of these Members of our New Congress will be Lawyers!

I knew you would come around to seeing my Foolish Logic. 😃

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

A Needle In A Hay Stack Is A Piece of Cake Compared To Trying To Find Good News About Coronavirus That Isn’t Followed By A Series of “Ya, Buts…”

Have you ever heard of or do you remember Al Capp? He wrote the comic strip Li’l Abner from 1934 till 1977. Al Capp was famous for a long time, the merchandising sales that spun off from his comic strips made millions of dollars and he was acknowledged to be a Comic Strip Genius.

Today I am going to imitate Al Capp in writing this Blog Posting. He was known to say he was an Expert on Nothing with an Opinion on Everything. (I tried to verify him saying this about himself on the Internet and found that a Drag Queen Insult Comic named Bianca Del Rio has taken over what I just said Al Capp said about himself for herself). 

I am not going to be so bold to say I am an expert on the Coronavirus but in regards to this “Ya But…” I am going to claim to have an opinion that no one could disagree with…Or could they?

************

A few days ago there was a dramatic announcement about a drug that showed great promise of being a cure for the Coronavirus…

Ø The drug is Chloroquine and is also called Hydroxychloroquine.

Ø It has been used as a treatment drug for Malaria for about 55 years.

Ø Chloroquine was first discovered in 1934 by Hans Andersag while he was working for Bayer AG.

Ø It has also been used to fight Rheumatoid Arthritis and Lupus Erythematosus. 

The Bottom Line is this is a well established and long used drug that any doctor can prescribe to his patients. It Does Not Kill People.

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The very next day after the news about Chloroquine became public, further information about Chloroquine was found in Small Headlined Articles below many much bigger the World is Coming to an End Headlined Articles.

By the third day it was difficult to find anything about Chloroquine and, when you did, the article you found was full of, “Ya Buts…”.

I am going to limit this Blog Posting to one particular “Ya But”…

Ø Here is the headline that caught my eye, “Virus Drug Touted by Trump, Musk Can Kill In Just Two Grams”.

Ø How many readers of this headline (who, as usual, did not read the whole article) said to their collective selves, “I ain’t gonna take that killer drug!”

The facts behind the Killer Headline are…

Ø The recommended dosage is 1 Gram a Day.

Ø It is true that, if one takes 2 Grams instead of 1 Gram, it can be fatal.

Ø This can probably be said for many drugs…If you double the recommended dosage you might get the hiccups, you might get a rash, you might start dressing up as Bianca Del Rio or you might die.

Ø It is also true that, if you double the recommended amount of Paprika in your Goulash, you could end up with Goulash that would make you gag.
>>>We do not see warning labels on Paprika cans saying, “Do not double the recommended amount of Paprika or you will gag!”

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I also saw this “proof” of the Dangers of Chloroquine...

A woman in Wuhan proved how lethal Chloroquine can be when it’s taken beyond the recommended dose. On Feb. 25, Shanghai-based The Paper reported that she took 1.8 grams of the drug she ordered online after suspecting she had the Coronavirus. She did not, but the drug caused her to develop malignant cardiac arrhythmia, which can cause sudden death, and she was admitted to the intensive care unit. 

To panic about the above paragraph the panicer (Ludwig, I know that’s not a word) has to…

Ø Not be too smart.

Ø Determine that she has the Coronavirus without consulting her doctor.

Ø Order the drug on the Internet without consulting her doctor.

Ø Not know about the recommended daily dosage (which she might have known about if she had consulted her doctor).

Ø Taken almost double the recommended daily dosage without consulting her doctor.

Ø There is a good chance she took the 1.8 grams all at one time. Since she had not consulted her doctor, she did not know that the recommended 1 gram per day is recommended by doctor people to be taken in 2 doses of 500 mg.

There are other “Ya Buts…” I could peck out for you but I am tired of pecking and you are tired of reading this blog, so the Blog Posting and I are now coming to an abrupt end.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: There are several graduates of my High School (Jesuit High School) reading this blog. If you don’t know, you are about to know that Al Capp created the Fighting Blue Jay Mascot figure you know so well…

 

Yea, I know the Toronto Blue Jays ripped us off and came up with this silly looking mascot thingy…