We Know Our Rulers Lie To Us But Is It Possible To Get To The Truth Anywhere?

For the first 20 minutes after the Internet was invented we were all saying, “I know it is true. I saw it on the Internet”. Then the twenty first minute came along and the world was never the same.
The guy who performed my annual Vehicle Emissions Inspection is from South Africa. We got to talking about why he came to the United States and he said it was because South Africa was a complete disaster that was getting more disastrous with each passing year.
I decided to check out what he told me and I went to the Internet to find out the truth. This is what I found when I searched to see how well the South African Economy was doing.
The Good News Article Published July 26, 2015...
While much of the world staggered in the wake of the global financial meltdown, South Africa has managed to stay on its feet – largely due to its prudent fiscal and monetary policies.
The country is politically stable and has a well capitalized banking system, abundant natural resources, well developed regulatory systems as well as research and development capabilities, and an established manufacturing base.
Ranked by the World Bank as an “upper middle-income country”, South Africa is the largest economy in Africa – and it remains rich with promise.
With a world-class and progressive legal framework, South African legislation governing commerce, labor and maritime issues is particularly strong, and laws on competition policy, copyright, patents, trademarks and disputes conform to international norms and standards. The country's modern infrastructure supports the efficient distribution of goods throughout the southern African region.
The Bad News Article Published July 13, 2015...
Foreign investors are sending the Johannesburg Stock Exchange soaring to record highs, even as South Africa’s economy crumbles around it.
Not much in this continent’s second-largest economy after Nigeria looks as upbeat as the 127-year-old Johannesburg Stock Exchange. Business confidence fell to a 16-year low this month. Rolling power blackouts have slashed mining and manufacturing output, and some economists are forecasting annual economic growth of less than 2% for a second consecutive year.
The mining industry has been hammered by slower economic growth in China and weak commodity prices, as well as domestic issues including months long strikes, power outages and higher costs for both wages and electricity.
Mining heavyweights are some of the JSE’s worst performers. The world’s No. 1 platinum producer Anglo American Platinum Ltd. is down 26% this year. Impala Platinum Holdings Ltd. is down 34% and Gold Fields Ltd. is down 25% since the start of 2015.
Do you see any differences in these two articles? I sure do but that may be because I am a Stickler (for the Truth) and Sticklers are on the Endangered Species List. Every day I see Certified Fellow Sticklers say, “Oh well, close enough”.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella

Lagniappe: I blogged about truth in September. If you have not had enough of me for today, click the link below. If you have had enough of me for today, do not click the link below.
http://forii.blogspot.com/2015/09/the-most-elusive-thing-in-our-worldtruth.html

Why Are All These People Here?

I just got back from The Beach. During October it is a nice place to go to get away from people because it is not the busy season, schools are in session, it is not cold yet & the beaches are darn near empty...Or are they?

That’s the way it used to be anyway. This year was different. This time there were families everywhere. They were all over my beach. They all had rented bicycles & were rolling all over everywhere that was not a beach. All of them were carrying cell phones & way too many of them had tattoos.

Every time I asked anyone why there were so many people I was told the same thing... “It’s Fall Break”. When I would reply, “Fall Break, I never heard of such a thing”, I was looked at like I was stupid. For a smart fella, I sure get looked at like I am stupid a lot.

It was at this point that I was glad I had room in my car to pack my Potted Plant Outfit. I put it on & started to mingle with the multitude. They did not pay any attention to this potted plant bouncing up to them because they were too busy paying attention to their cell phones.

I started asking the teenagers questions & the far greater majority of them gave these answers...

• When was the Vietnam War fought?... Answer: That’s a tough one but I am fairly certain it was during the 1800’s.
• How many stars are there on that American Flag waving on that pole over there?... Is that what that is? I really can’t answer this question because it is waving too fast & I can’t count them. (Credit for this silliness goes to Jay Leno’s Jaywalking bit.)
• Who was John Wayne?... I don’t have a clue. Oh, wait a second! Is that that really cute guy on Dancing with the Starts?

Let’s get back to Fall Break. While I was Plant Eavesdropping I heard one teen say, “I sure needed this break! I’ve been in school since mid August. This is the first week of October. That’s a long time! I can’t wait till Thanksgiving Break. Then it’s going to be tough sledding to get to Christmas Break (actually she said Holiday Break). And I can’t wait till Spring Break (she did not say Easter Break). This year I am going to Bambini. The only problem is Spring Break is only 7 days long. My parents have agreed that it is too short & have told me to take a couple of extra days. Don’t you think there ought to be a Break between Holiday Break & Spring Break? I sure do!”

I usually come back from The Beach refreshed & energized. This time I came back feeling like a balloon that had just been pinned.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

After Giving Birth The New Mother is Found By Her Husband Crying Her Motherly Eyes Out In Her Hospital Bed

Feeling her pain the husband rushes up to her & grabs her hand as he frantically asks her what could be the problem because he has been told by the doctor that both mother & baby came out of the delivery room perfectly healthy.

Her reply is atypical of our crazy world as she replies, “Our baby is deformed! He does not have a single tattoo!”

OK, I admit I made this whole silly story up...Or did I?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

It All Started With Saint Christopher

Years ago the Catholic Church cleaned house regarding its lineup of Saints.

The most talked about “removal” was Saint Christopher. It was not that he's no longer a saint, nor even that he no longer has a Feast Day (he still does, on 25th July). What the Church did was stipulate that his Feast Day is no longer an obligatory celebration throughout the worldwide church.

The bottom line is Saint Christopher wasn’t uncanonized (probably not a word) & he is still a Saint.

This is all very confusing & not all retailers of Religious Articles fully understood much of all of this (that probably includes you & me). If you got a bargain on a Mister Christopher Medal, consider yourself lucky.

All of the above is only a lead-in to today’s bit of Foolishness...

My newspaper tells me that the Archbishop of Los Angeles, Jose Gomez, is in the news out in the California. Remember I am a Noticer. I noticed that in the news article the Archbishop was mentioned twice. He was not mentioned in this manner...

• Archbishop Gomez said it would put pressure on the state’s poorest communities.
• ...and they have limited treatment options when they face a serious or terminal illness, Archbishop Gomez said.

No, there was no “Archbishop” used to refer to the Archbishop in this news article. The Archbishop was referred to as “Mr. Gomez”.

I don’t consider this progress but I am willing to look on the bright side. Those in the poorest communities that the Archbishop is so worried about protecting can now get a reduced price on Mr. Gomez Medals.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

More On Truth

On 9/2/15 I blogged about Scientist, Global Warming & Truth. (See Lagniappe below.)

I do a lot of stumbling around the internet. That’s where I go to find The Truth. (This prior sentence calls into question just how smart the Smartfella really is.)

I stumbled across this inspirational quote:

Pray as if it all depends upon God, for it does.
But work as if it all depends upon us, for it does.

I said to myself, “Self, that is really inspirational! Go to the Internet & find out who said it”.

On the internet I found out that this Inspirational Inspiration was first uttered by St. Ignatius Loyola & St. Augustine & St. Benedict & Brigham Young.

I figured that was enough truth for one Internet Search so I stopped searching. If I had continued, what do you want to bet I would have found out that Alfred E. Newman was really the first one to say it?

OK, I have gone too far again. Alfred E. Newman never existed &, while he was never existing, he never believed in God...Or did he?...Or did he?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella...Or is he?

Lagniappe: This is the Prior Posting Link I referred to above… http://forii.blogspot.com/2015/09/the-most-elusive-thing-in-our-worldtruth.html

What Does The Word “Final” Mean To You

I’ve written about this before (actually twice before) & I am perfectly within my Blogging Rights (Blogging Rules & Regulations Section 7 Subsection A2 Part b) if I want to write about it again because the phenomenon is not subsiding in any way.

My newspaper tells me that BP & our Federal Government have reached another “Final” settlement to finally settle their ongoing Final Settlement Talks about the 2010 Deepwater Horizon oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

Our Justice Department’s spokesman said, BP “is receiving the punishment it deserves”. As sharp as this spokesman is there were a few words left out of this statement. It should have said, “is receiving the latest final punishment it deserves unless & until the next final punishment is levied against these awful people. Some have said that we are being too harsh on BP but I say this latest final levy against them is more than justified because BP used to have a lot of money”.

What’s next? What happens when BP actually does run out of money? Our Federal Government will need to replace that lost Income Stream. If it is an election year, it will not be able to raise taxes until after the election & I foresee what their next Revenue Producing Idea will be... I foresee our Federal Government suing Mexico for the oil spill because, after all, it is Mexico’s gulf. If a terrorists goes into your local super market & puts a banana peel on the floor & you come along & slip on that dangerous peel, it is the fault of the super market, is it not? Of course it is!

You did not see that coming did you? Don’t feel badly about that. That’s why you have me. Keep reading & you will not have to worry about seeing the future. After my heart attacks me, you are on your own.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: http://forii.blogspot.com/2015/07/the-gift-that-keeps-on-giving.html

 

Honoring A Local Hero

Recently this was said about one of my county’s local heroes...

• For many years he had done “a lot of good” throughout the county.
• He was praised for his ties to the community and his 25 years in law enforcement.
• Another dignitary said our hero was a longtime friend who has done a lot of good work for the citizens of the county, both as a police officer and as a deputy sheriff.
• Another said he was saddened that our hero has made mistakes that have put him in this position & he certainly wished him well in the future.
• He was praised by many as an affable & outgoing public servant.
• Another spoke reverently of the 25 years our hero had spent in county law enforcement.
• It was obvious our hero had plenty of support in the room, including several pastors from around the county.

The late Paul Harvey just came into my blogging room & told me to tell you the Rest of the Story...

• All of the above happened in a county courtroom where our hero was on trial for selling more than $55,000 in illegal automotive parts equipment to our county government.
• Evidence was presented that showed our hero continued to sell his illegal automotive parts to the county even after the sheriff told him that it wasn’t allowed.
• Our hero, father of two, said he had been confident he’d be exonerated until the actual verdict came down, convicting him of 8 of 14 counts.
• In total, the eight counts carry a maximum penalty of 36 years.

WhatDoYouWannaBet our hero will not serve anywhere near 36 years?

In fact he may be on his was over to my house within a matter of days to punch me in my nose for writing this blog posting & he will probably have a police escort.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: While I & my bloody nose are laying on the floor, a newspaper reporter will probably stand over me & say, “Take that! This is what happens to someone who writes the truth about one of our Local Heroes!”

This One Is Serious & Very Disturbing Stuff

 

A one-time respected oncologist was caught lying to patients about their health, telling some who did not have cancer that they did have cancer in order to give them unnecessary chemotherapy treatment so he could bill Medicare for the procedures.

In other cases, he lied to those with cancer that they were getting better, when in fact their tumors were growing. All the while, the doctor ordered unusually large and dangerous amounts of chemo for these individuals.

Nearly two years after his arrest, he was sentenced to 45 years in federal prison for violating more than 550 patients' trust and raking in more than $17 million from fraudulent billings.

The “good” doctor openly wept in court as he apologized for his actions, admitted to fraudulently billing Medicare, insurance companies and at least 550 patients through misdiagnoses, overtreatment and under treatment.

In some cases, he gave nearly four times the recommended dosage amount of aggressive cancer drugs; in at least one, a patient was given toxic chemotherapy for five years when the standard treatment was six months.

A chemotherapy nurse who blew the whistle to State (Michigan) authorities said she went to his office for a job interview in 2010. When she saw patients getting chemotherapy in a manner that wasn't correct she said, "I left after an hour and half. I thought this is insane”.

That same day she wrote a letter to the State and suggested they investigate him. The State notified her in 2011 that they had found no wrongdoing. She was elated when she learned the Federal Government charged him in August 2013.

What Took So Long?...

• He started his scheme in 2009.
• The whistle blower blew her whistle in 2010.
• He was arrested in August 2013.
• His scheme continued into 2014.

It’s not possible that he continued his scheme after he was arrested (arrested August 2013 but still scheming in 2014)...Or is it?

Our crack Judicial System would not allow that to happen…Or would it?

Do you feel sorry for the “Good” Doctor? In court he said he was sorry & his attorney said he is lonely while incarcerated. Now I bet you feel sorry for him...Or do you?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I’m Confused Again

 

It’s words again. Some words I have been using all my life without giving them a second thought. It has always given me comfort to know I know what they mean. Then the people who are in control of my newspaper go about changing them. It’s awfully confusing!

This time it is the word “misbehavior”. The dictionary defines it as...

“To behave (oneself) in an inappropriate way”

Misbehave does not sound so bad. Its very definition above says it is only inappropriate. I have yet to see someone sentenced to death or life in prison for Gross Misbehavior or Extreme Inappropriateness.

Well we learn something new every day...

U.S. Army Sergeant Bowe Berghdal is on trial for...

Desertion & Misbehavior before the Enemy

When I read these charges I said to myself... Self, why are they bothering even mentioning the fact that he Misbehaved? Desertion is serious stuff (an act of leaving military service or duty without the intention of returning). Misbehaving sounds like he deliberately kicked over a trash can as he was tiptoeing out of camp.

In steps my newspaper bringing Confusion with it...

It was his first court appearance since he was charged in March with desertion and misbehavior before the enemy. If convicted of misbehavior, the most serious charge, Bergdahl, 29, could be sentenced to life in prison.

If you are a regular reader of my Foolishness, you know that I sometimes am very good with words. In response to “misbehavior, the most serious charge” above I am left with... Huh?

What’s next? Are going to read about Protestors being paid money to Protest & the world actually changing as a result of their “Protest”?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The Most Powerful Tool For Change In the World Today

We see it on TV every week. Demonstrators are out in the streets. They are shaking their collective fists at the cameras. The anger is there. The sincerity is evident. Most of the signs are professionally done. The signs that are handwritten usually have misspelled words on them. The chants are catchy. The number of protestors is sufficient to convey the message that their cause is important & change is coming.

I dressed myself up as a Potted Plant & went out to mingle in one of these Demonstrations.

 

What I found out about the Protestors themselves was very interesting...

Ø Strangely enough, when I interviewed them, they did not for a second seem confused that the questions were coming to them from a Potted Plant. They were very cooperative & answered all my questions readily.

Ø When I got into specifics of what or who they were protesting, they had little knowledge about what or who they were protesting.

Ø One of them laughed as he told me that often they get mixed up & find themselves chanting the catchy slogan from the prior day’s Demonstration.

Ø The Protesters were a close knit group who knew each other very well because they travel together from Demonstration to Demonstration.

Ø There did appear to be growing discontent among many of them about their work schedule. Several said that they took on this “job” because the pay was good & they expected they would have a lot of time off between engagements, however, in recent years they are being called upon more often. Many said they are missing out on a lot of Succor Practices & are finding it difficult to keep up with Emailing, Text Messaging, SnapChating, What’sAppsing, Instagraming, Twittering & Linkdedining. (It made me a little sad that not one of them mentioned falling behind in their reading of Foolishness...Or Is It?)

 

I then turned to the Protestor-In-Chief & asked him about the number of protestors that was necessary to get the attention of the country...

Ø He said with 26 protestors he could alter the course of history.

Ø Any more than that would increase his overhead expenses to the point where he might have difficulty keeping up with the payments on his Villa in the South of France & his Estate off the coast of Naples, Italy.

Ø He pointed out that the News Media was very cooperative & (after a small payment to the cameraman) he could be assured of tight shots of his demonstrations so anything more that 26 were not going to make the Nightly News anyway.

 

Having gathered enough information I unzipped my Potted Plant Outfit, exposing myself as me. I told him I intended to reveal to the Good Ole USofA all what I had found out about how insincere, manipulative, money grubbing & phony his organization truly was.

 

He chuckled & dismissed my threat with a wave of his hand as he told me... “You are new at this aren’t ya, Fella. I am not concerned in the least about this exposure that has you so excited. Don’t you know it is Football Season? No one is going to pay the least bit of attention to you.”

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Like Words But Many Of Them I No Longer Understand

 

Are they deliberately trying to confuse me? I think the answer is not a simple one. It just may be that they are confused & they can’t help themselves. Allow me to explain myself...

Ø A definition of the word Significant is... “Having Meaning”.

Ø A definition of the word Other is... “Used to refer to all the members of a group except the person or thing that has already been mentioned”.

 

Modern World has combined these two words into “Significant Other”. This is where my confusion starts. “Significant Other” is defined as, “A person who is important to one's well-being”.

 

Tell me if you think this is progress (No. Don’t tell me because I am afraid of what you might tell me.)...

Ø There was a time when the word Spouse was the word for referring to the one to whom we were married.

Ø Then “Significant Other” was invented.

Ø Then I started seeing forms I was filling out that listed the categories “Spouse” & “Significant Other”.

Ø Now I am seeing forms that only list “Significant Other” & “Spouse” has disappeared.

I don’t think this is progress (Remember I told you I did not want to hear what your opinion is.).

 

I like the word “Spouse”. My wife has been my Spouse for a long time &, I may be old fashioned but, I think to start calling her my Significant Other would be a Significant Downgrade.

 

My other Significant Other Quandary started when I was reading a newspaper article the other day. The article made mention of a couple of Significant Others who had separated from each other. Does this mean that they are now Insignificant Others?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: Special to Rick... Yesterday at the tennis match you made a comment about the term “Significant Other”. When you said it you looked directly at me. Yesterday I had not yet published this blog posting about Significant Others. Might this mean you are reading my mind? Might this mean you are starting to think like me? If so, you are in a heap of trouble!

We Are Determined To Protect Endangered Species But We Also Are Determined To See To It That Extinct Species Remain Extinct

I got your attention with the Subject above, did I not? Actually I am going to stop pecking on this Blog Posting for awhile while I try & figure out what that Subject means.

Pause Pause Pause

I’m back. I’m glad I took that little break because I now can plainly see that the confusion of the above Subject makes perfect sense, if you are in England.

Here is the story…

When beavers surfaced in the River Otter, Mark Owen smelled a rat because it had been centuries since wild beavers plied the region.

In recent years, any local beavers were kept as curiosities or for research, living behind electric fences.

“Nobody, as far as I know, has reported that they’ve lost beavers,” says Mr. Owen, freshwater director of England’s Angling Trust, a sport fishing advocacy group that wants the rodents removed because U.K. law prohibits introduction into the wild of any animal that doesn’t already live there, even if it once did once live there.

There it is! There is the proof that the Subject of this Foolishness...Or Is It is not Foolishness. It’s this simple...

If it lives here, it must continue to live here but, if it does not live here, even if it once did live here, it can’t be allowed to live here again because it does not live here now.

I’m sure glad these English Uncommon Laws do not apply to Blogs. I might get caught by a law that says...

If you published three blogs is a row that were not funny, you are prohibited from publishing any blogs in the future that are funny because you have forfeited your right to be funny by not being consistently funny.

In other words, my funniness would forever be extinct.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

We Failed The Test To Get Out Of High School. The Only Course Of Action Available To You Is Obvious. You Must Give Us Our Diplomas.

The San Francisco Board of Education voted unanimously to give diplomas to 107 high school students who have not met all their graduation requirements — a move that goes against state law.

The California High School Exit Examination (CAHSEE) is offered to students beginning sophomore year. There are several opportunities to take it, but some students struggled to pass and had to retake it over & over & still did not pass.  

Recently, faculty and students from San Francisco International High School showed up at the city’s school board meeting accompanied by their Principal, pleading for help. Their plead was simple... “We need another opportunity to take the CAHSEE or we need a diploma,” said the Principal.

On behalf of his fellow Pleading Students their Leader has issued a statement to the media concerning their situation...

this aint fareit iz as plane as the noos on yo fac and as elementrie as 2+2 beein 5 that our wrights have ben vialatted

(It appears that California’s education system is so bad that it cannot even teach its students how to use Spell & Grammar Check.)

When the Pleading Student Leader was asked about the lack of capitalization, punctuation, spacing, incorrect spelling & inaccurate arithmetic in his statement he responded... All that kind of stuff is no longer necessary. Modern students in America believe only necessary is necessary.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: I saw an interesting link at the bottom of the article that gave me the information I researched to write this blog posting. It was entitled...

“In California Thousands of Teachers Missing Needed Credentials”

I said to myself, “Ah ha, self, this is the problem”. But, when I clicked on the link, I was taken to...

“Page Not Found...404 Error...We’re sorry, but you have reached a page that doesn’t exist.”

Their thinking must be that, by not allowing us to read about the problem, the problem will go away...Or will it?

Heaven Knows I Do Not Expect You To Read This Entire Blog Posting!

Heaven Also Knows Even I Did Not Read This Entire Blog Posting

Do the Lawyers make this type of Silliness necessary or do we make Lawyers necessary because we keep asking them to sue everyone about everything?

 

I have received am email from my TV Provider, Dish Network. They felt the need to inform me about their policy regarding how I am to go about disputing my disputes with them.

 

The small print below is that Arbitration Policy. It is 2,407 Words Long! If they had asked me, but, of course, they did not ask me, I could have shrunk their Arbitration Policy down to 21 words...

 To resolve any legal disputes with DISH, instead of a jury trial, you must use either arbitration or small claims court.

A fine example of how involved this policy is is the following excerpt where Dish tries to tell me who Dish is & is not & was & will be in the future...

For purposes of Section 12 only, "DISH," "we," "us," or "our" means DISH Network L.L.C., DISH Network Corporation and its past and present direct and indirect subsidiaries, and the predecessors, successors and assigns of all of the foregoing persons and entities, and the past or present officers, directors, employees, partners, agents, attorneys, shareholders and legal representatives of all of the foregoing persons and entities.

(The above excerpt alone is 43 words more than my 21 words.)

From: DISH
Date: Aug 30, 2015, 5:05:34 AM
Subject: Important Notification Regarding Addition of Arbitration Provision and Other Changes to your DISH Residential Customer Agreement

 

Dear Fella,

We recently made changes to your Residential Customer Agreement with DISH. One of the changes adds an arbitration provision that requires you to use either arbitration or small claims court, not a jury trial, to resolve any legal disputes with DISH. The details of the arbitration provision are provided below.

You may opt out of this arbitration provision by providing written notice to DISH within 30 days. The details are provided in Section 12(H) below, and a form that you can use to opt out is available at http://www.dish.com/downloads/legal/arbitration-opt-out.pdf.

The most recent version of the Residential Customer Agreement, which incorporates the arbitration provision along with the other changes, can be viewed at http://www.dish.com/downloads/legal/residential-agreement.pdf.

Thank you for being a DISH customer,

 

(The small print below is the part you need not read but please scroll through it to the bottom & read Fella’s Closing Wise Crack.)

12.DISPUTE RESOLUTION, MANDATORY AND BINDING ARBITRATION AND CLASS ACTION WAIVER

A. Mandatory and Binding Arbitration. In the event that you or we have a Dispute (as defined below) that cannot be resolved through informal dispute resolution pursuant to Section 12(C), then you and we agree (unless you opt out of Section 12 in accordance with Section 12(H)) to resolve such Dispute in an individual action, either through binding arbitration or in small claims court, instead of in courts of general jurisdiction. You acknowledge and agree that, in the event that you or DISH commences an individual action in small claims court in accordance with Section 12 and it is determined that the applicable small claims court cannot adjudicate such individual action (e.g., such small claims court lacks jurisdiction over such individual action), then such Dispute may only be resolved through an arbitration proceeding pursuant to Section 12. Arbitration is more informal than a lawsuit in court. Arbitration means that you will have a fair hearing before a neutral arbitrator rather than before a judge or jury in a court. Arbitrators can award the same damages that a court can award. Proceeding in arbitration may result in limited discovery and is subject to limited review by courts. Arbitration means that you waive your right to a trial by a jury or a trial by a judge (other than in small claims court). Any arbitration under this Agreement will take place on an individual basis; class arbitrations and class or representative claims are not permitted. BY ENTERING INTO THIS AGREEMENT, YOU AND DISH ARE EACH AGREEING TO WAIVE THE RIGHT TO A TRIAL BY JURY OR A TRIAL BY A JUDGE (OTHER THAN IN SMALL CLAIMS COURT) AND THE RIGHT TO PARTICIPATE IN A CLASS ACTION OR TO BRING A CLAIM IN A REPRESENTATIVE CAPACITY. You and DISH also each agree that this Agreement evidences a transaction in interstate commerce and, thus, that the Federal Arbitration Act (the "FAA") governs the interpretation and enforcement of this provision. Nothing in this Agreement precludes you from bringing issues to the attention of federal, state or local agencies (including, without limitation, the Federal Communications Commission). Such agencies can, in the event that the law allows, seek relief against us on your behalf.

B. Dispute Defined. The term "Dispute" means, subject to the exceptions set forth in Section 12(K), any and all past, present or future disputes, claims or controversies between you and DISH, whether based in contract, statute, regulation, ordinance, tort (including, without limitation, fraud, misrepresentation, fraudulent inducement, negligence or any other intentional tort) or any other legal or equitable theory, and includes, without limitation, the validity, enforceability and/or scope of Section 12. The term "Dispute" is to be given the broadest possible meaning that will be enforced and includes, without limitation, any and all claims between you and DISH in any way arising out of, relating to or in connection with: (i) this Agreement and your applicable Promotion Agreement(s); (ii) DISH's services (including, without limitation, Services); (iii) DISH's devices or products (including, without limitation, Equipment); (iv) billing, collection and credit reporting; (v) telephone calls, texts, faxes and emails that you claim you received from DISH and/or a party acting or purporting to act on DISH's behalf; and/or (vi) DISH's and/or its agents' collection, retention and/or disclosure of personally-identifiable information. For purposes of Section 12 only, "DISH," "we," "us," or "our" means DISH Network L.L.C., DISH Network Corporation and its past and present direct and indirect subsidiaries, and the predecessors, successors and assigns of all of the foregoing persons and entities, and the past or present officers, directors, employees, partners, agents, attorneys, shareholders and legal representatives of all of the foregoing persons and entities.

C. Informal Dispute Resolution; Notice and Opportunity to Cure. You and DISH agree to first try to resolve any Dispute informally. Accordingly, neither you nor DISH may start an individual action, either through binding arbitration or in small claims court, for at least sixty (60) calendar days after you or DISH notifies the other of a Dispute by sending a written document titled "dispute resolution notice" (each, a "Dispute Resolution Notice"). You may, but are not required to, download a form Dispute Resolution Notice at http://www.dish.com/downloads/legal/dispute-resolution-notice.pdf. You must send your Dispute Resolution Notice to the Legal Dispute Resolution Notice Address (i.e., DISH Network L.L.C., Attn: Dispute Resolution, P.O. Box 9040, Littleton, Colorado 80120-9040), and we must send our Dispute Resolution Notice to your billing address then appearing in our records. The Dispute Resolution Notice must: (i) state your name, account number and contact information; (ii) describe the nature and basis of the Dispute; and (iii) set forth the specific relief sought in connection with the Dispute. In the event that you and DISH do not reach an agreement to resolve the Dispute within sixty (60) calendar days after the Dispute Resolution Notice is received, then you or DISH may commence an individual action, either through binding arbitration or in small claims court, in accordance with Section 12.

D. Arbitration Procedures. Unless you and DISH agree otherwise in writing, the arbitration will be governed by the then-current Consumer Arbitration Rules (collectively, the "AAA Rules") of the American Arbitration Association ("AAA") excluding any rules for class or collective actions, as modified by this Agreement, and will be administered by the AAA and conducted before a single, neutral arbitrator. The AAA Rules are available online at the AAA's website (as of August 7, 2015, www.adr.org), by calling the AAA (as of August 7, 2015, 1-800-778-7879) or by submitting a written request to the Legal Dispute Resolution Notice Address (i.e., DISH Network L.L.C., Attn: Dispute Resolution, P.O. Box 9040, Littleton, Colorado 80120-9040). The arbitration will be held at a location in the county of your billing address then appearing in our records unless you and we both agree to another location or a telephonic or "desk" arbitration (i.e., an arbitration conducted solely on the basis of written submissions by the participants). The arbitrator will be bound by the terms and conditions of this Agreement, including, without limitation, DISH's and your waiver of the right to a trial by jury or a trial by a judge (other than in small claims court) and the right to participate in a class action or to bring a claim in a representative capacity. The arbitrator, and not any federal, state or local court or agency, shall have exclusive authority to adjudicate the merits of any Dispute. In the event that you and/or DISH elect to submit a Dispute to arbitration pursuant to Section 12, then the party initiating arbitration must open a case by filing with the AAA: (i) a demand for arbitration; (ii) the administrative filing fee; and (iii) a copy of the applicable arbitration agreement (i.e., Section 12) — (collectively, the "Demand for Arbitration"). The filing may be made through "AAA WebFile," located on the AAA's website (www.adr.org), or by filing the Demand for Arbitration with any AAA office, regardless of the intended locale of any hearing.

E. The Arbitrator's Award. An arbitrator's award will consist of a written statement of the disposition of each Dispute and a concise written statement of the essential findings and conclusions on which the award is based. The arbitrator's decision and award are final and binding, subject only to the limited court review permitted under the FAA, and judgment on the award may be entered in any court of competent jurisdiction.

F. Costs of Arbitration. In the event that you initiate arbitration and agree that you will receive less than $75,000 in damages, then, after DISH receives notice that you have initiated arbitration, DISH will promptly reimburse you for your payment of the filing fee and DISH will directly pay the AAA any case management fees associated with the arbitration and the professional fees for the arbitrator's services. However, in the event that you initiate an arbitration in which you seek $75,000 or more in damages, then the payment of these fees will be governed by the AAA Rules.

G. Class Action Waiver. NEITHER YOU NOR DISH SHALL BE ENTITLED TO JOIN OR CONSOLIDATE CLAIMS BY OR AGAINST OTHER INDIVIDUALS OR ENTITIES, OR ARBITRATE ANY CLAIM IN A REPRESENTATIVE CAPACITY, INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, AS A REPRESENTATIVE MEMBER OF A CLASS OR IN A PRIVATE ATTORNEY GENERAL CAPACITY, IN CONNECTION WITH ANY DISPUTE (as defined above). Further, unless both you and DISH agree otherwise in writing, the arbitrator may not consolidate more than one (1) person's claims, and may not otherwise preside over any form of a representative or class proceeding. In the event that any portion of this Section 12(G) is found to be unenforceable, then the entirety of Section 12 shall be null and void.

H. Right to Opt Out. In the event that you do not wish to be bound by Section 12, then you must notify DISH in writing within thirty (30) days following the date that we first give you notice of your right to elect to opt out of Section 12 by: (i) completing the Opt Out Form located at http://www.dish.com/downloads/legal/arbitration-opt-out.pdf and sending it to the Legal Dispute Resolution Notice Address (i.e., DISH Network L.L.C., Attn: Dispute Resolution, P.O. Box 9040, Littleton, Colorado 80120-9040); or (ii) otherwise providing written notification to DISH at the Legal Dispute Resolution Notice Address that includes: (1) your name and account number; (2) your service address; and (3) a clear statement that you do not wish to resolve Disputes with DISH through arbitration. Your decision to opt out of Section 12 will have no adverse effect on your relationship with DISH or DISH's delivery of Service(s) to you. Any opt-out not received within the thirty (30) day period set forth above will not be valid and you must pursue your Disputes (if any) as an individual action, either through binding arbitration or in small claims court, pursuant to and in accordance with Section 12 (excluding this Section 12(H), which in such event will no longer apply). In the event that you are a new DISH customer, then your activation of a DISH account or receipt of Services or Equipment and failure to notify DISH in writing within thirty (30) days following the date of activation of your account shall constitute your acknowledgment and agreement that you are bound by Section 12. In the event that you are an existing DISH customer, then your continued receipt of Services or Equipment and failure to notify DISH in writing within thirty (30) days following the date that we first give you notice of your right to elect to opt out of Section 12 shall constitute your acknowledgment and agreement that you are bound by Section 12. We will be deemed to have given you notice of your right to elect to opt out of Section 12 as follows: (a) in the event that we send you notice by U.S. mail (including, without limitation, on a mailed bill, bill insert, notice, letter or postcard), then it will be considered given three (3) days after it is first deposited in the U.S. mail, addressed to you at your billing address then appearing in our records; (b) in the event that we send you notice electronically (including, without limitation, via an e-mail, electronic bill, social media message or attachment), then it will be considered given at the time we first send an electronic communication containing such notice or notifying you of the availability of such notice (or the electronic bill in which it is included) to the electronic contact information (including, without limitation, e-mail address or social media (e.g., Facebook, Twitter) identifier) then appearing in our records; and (c) in the event that we send you notice via broadcast on a television channel, or on your receiver(s) (including, without limitation, through pop-up messages sent to your receiver) or through publication on dish.com, mydish.com, dish.com/legal or other website, then it will be considered given when first broadcast, sent or published.

I. Miscellaneous. Notwithstanding any provision in this Agreement to the contrary, in the event that DISH makes any future change to Section 12 (other than a change to the Legal Dispute Resolution Notice Address), then you may reject any such future change as follows: (i) in the event that we elect to provide notice of such change, then by sending written notice to DISH at the Legal Dispute Resolution Notice Address of your rejection of such change within thirty (30) days following the date that we first give you our notice; or (ii) in the event that we elect not to provide notice of such change, then by sending written notice to DISH at the Legal Dispute Resolution Notice Address of your rejection of such change at any time. By rejecting any future change, you are agreeing that you will resolve any Dispute between you and DISH in accordance with the unmodified language of Section 12, unless you have previously opted out of Section 12 in a timely manner. Except as otherwise set forth in Section 12 or under applicable law, each of you and DISH shall bear and be solely responsible for its respective attorneys' fees, costs and expenses incurred in connection with any Dispute.

J. Expenses Outside of Arbitration. Except as otherwise expressly set forth in this Agreement, in the event that either party files a judicial or administrative action asserting a claim that is subject to arbitration (other than an individual action in small claims court) and the other party successfully compels arbitration, then the party filing that judicial or administrative action must pay the other party's costs and expenses incurred in seeking to compel arbitration (including, without limitation, reasonable attorneys' fees, expenses and court costs).

K. Exceptions. The following Disputes are excluded from Section 12 (including, without limitation, the informal dispute resolution provision set forth in Section 12(C)) and may only be decided by a court of competent jurisdiction: (i) any Dispute based on your receipt of all or any portion of the Services without paying for them, whether though theft of Services, piracy or otherwise; and (ii) any Dispute based on a violation of the Communications Act of 1934, 47 U.S.C. § 1201 et seq., or the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 18 U.S.C. §§ 2510-2521 et seq., or any federal or state law relating to signal theft or theft of service.

L. Survival. Section 12 shall survive expiration or earlier termination of this Agreement for any reason or no reason indefinitely.

 

Fella’s Closing Wise Crack... The scroll-through above is only Section 12 (2,407 words) of Dish’s Residential Customer Agreement (10,950 words). Research has shown that, with the single exception of the lady pictured below, no one has ever read the entire Residential Customer Agreement...

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Every lawyer that read my 21 Words above said to himself, “If the Fella thinks that his 21 words are sufficient, he is really being silly!”

The Most Elusive Thing In The World Today...Truth

If you believe that the Polar Ice Caps are Growing, you should read on.
If you believe that the Polar Ice Caps are Melting, you should read on.
The Smartfella has his beliefs about the Polar Ice Caps but he takes no side of either argument in this Foolishness...Or Is It?

The Fella, as always, is on the side of truth. Father Hatrel told me in 1956, “Fella, mathematics is an exact science”. It was then & it still is.
2+2=4. One cannot say, “Fella for you it’s 4 but for me it’s 1,453”. Even if one believes it is 1,453, it is not. It is only 4.
Truth is exact. You cannot have your truth & I have my truth on the same question...Or can u?
Years ago I was Flabbergasted Fella after I heard an “intellectual” discussion on my radio. As so often happens, I blogged about it. Here is a small piece of that blog...

“The Truth Is An Opinion”

I always thought the truth was the truth. I always thought if is not true it is not true. I can imagine the panel discussion on TV where I am being put into my place and lectured down to with such “enlighten wisdom” as...

• What you fail to understand is there is your truth and there is my truth. You are not seeing the big picture.
• The next thing you are going to be telling us is facts are certainties. Don’t you understand that there are your facts and there are my facts? The two will always be separate unless and until you agree that my facts are the correct facts and your facts are, in fact, not facts but are hogwash.
• How did you ever get on this panel? Did I just hear you say that only the farmer who owns the land can plant his crops on that land? Are you serious? You mean to tell me that no one but the person who owns any particular parcel of land can plant crops on that particular parcel of land? Do you really think that is fair?

Back to Polar Ice Caps...
Below are 2 very brief bottom line excerpts of my research for this Blog Posting. Both of them came from Scientists. You know what a Scientist is, don’t you? They deal in Facts. They deal in Truth. That being said, how can Scientists have published these “Truths” within a very few months of each other?
Polar Ice Caps Are Growing... “Satellite instruments measuring the precise extent of the Southern Hemisphere polar ice cap report the polar ice cap has been steadily growing for decades.”
Polar Ice Caps Are Melting...
“Researchers have established the height of the Greenland and Antarctic ice caps with greater precision than ever before. The new maps they have produced show that the ice is melting at an unprecedented rate.”
Both of these big bold statements cannot be true. But where do we go to find out which is true? I know. Let’s go to the scientific community. They always know & speak the truth...Or do they?

Scientific discussion of the not too distant future... That’s not ice on top of the Earth. That’s 1,453.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella

Something Is Basically Wrong With Us

Not A Lot Of Laughs In This One

I heard a radio talk show host kick this around the other day & now I’m going to kick it your way.

There was a time long ago (when I was young) that Americans would have too much pride to do what they are doing as described in the bullets below. I wish that there were only a few of us doing this but it appears there is an awful lot of people who are saying... I might as well take what I can. That’s what it’s for, right?

• Handicapped Stickers used by people who are not handicapped.
• People who have an income around $500,000 still taking subsidized housing payments in big cities because they qualified long ago when they were making less than $67,000.
• People bringing Comfort Animals into public places saying they get comfort from their comfort animals. These companions are not just dogs. Some are getting comfort from Rabbits, Snakes, Pigs, etc.
• People are getting Disability Payments who are in no way Disabled.
• People on the Welfare Rolls who have lots of other income that the Government is not aware that they have.
• A one-time respected oncologist who was caught lying to patients about their health, telling some who did not have cancer that they did have cancer in order to give them unnecessary chemotherapy treatment just so he could bill Medicare for the procedures.

This is the part of my blog where I would normally say something cute or play around with words. Not this time. I will turn this one over to someone a lot smarter than the Smartfella...

At about the time our original 13 states adopted their new constitution, in the year 1787, Alexander Tyler (a Scottish history professor at The University of Edinburgh) had this to say about "The Fall of The Athenian Republic" some 2,000 years prior.

"A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, (which is) always followed by a dictatorship."
"The average age of the world’s greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years. During those 200 years, these nations always progressed through the following sequence:
From Bondage to spiritual faith;
From spiritual faith to great courage;
From courage to liberty;
From liberty to abundance;
From abundance to complacency;
From complacency to apathy;
From apathy to dependence;
From dependence back into bondage."

Would Mr. Tyler kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe:

In a “Jaywalking” sketch on The Tonight Show, comedian host Jay Leno asked random people on the street to name one of the Ten Commandments. The most popular response given was "God helps those who help themselves."

Two “nos” & one “but” are applicable here... No, the phrase is not one of the Ten Commandments & No, the phrase does not come out of the Bible & But, it appears to be fast becoming one of the most popular “Commandments”.

Oh My Gosh! My County Rulers Are Reading My Blog!

On August 9, 2015 I published a Blog Posting entitled, “My Visit To My Local County Park”. It appears that the good people who rule my county may have read my Blog Posting.

Here is what I posted...

Second Example... Scummy Dangerous Fenced Pond

During my park walks I pass right by a pond. It has a fence around it to prevent our park children from wandering into the Scummy Dangerous Fenced Pond.

 

County law says that there ought to be a fence around the pond & there must be a Lock & Chain on the gate into the dangerous pond…

 

This law also is not specific enough. As you can see county workers have placed a strong lock & chain on the gate to the dangerous pond but the lock & chain are not locked. They are just hanging there.

 

Here is the addendum that should have been added by the sloppy law writers... “Once the Strong Chain & Padlock Have Been Placed on the Gate to the Dangerous Pond, the Padlock & Chain Should Be Used to Lock the Gate In Order To Keep Our Park Children from Drowning in the Dangerous Pond”.

 

Yesterday as I walked past the Dangerous Pond, I was surprised & pleased to see that the County has taken action...

 

I did such a good job putting the Fear of Social Media in them that they, not only locked the gate, but they put 3 locks on it.

 

I guess this could all be a coincidence & they could have been headed toward the gate with the securing mechanism as I pecked out my hit piece.

 

I’ll know for sure when I get my next property tax assessment. If there is a large increase in my taxes, I’ll know for certain they are reading Foolishness...Or Is It?.

 

If I have to pay more taxes, I will have no regrets. It’s the White Knight in me. When I see a wrong, I try & right it. I gotta do what I gotta do.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Keeping You Informed

On February 4, 2008 I informed all of you who are smart enough to read my Foolishness about the conditions in Liberia, Africa.

Here is the entire blog posting...

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Raising Children Again

I wish I were just starting out raising my children ... You just said to yourself, "Self, is he nuts"? Allow me to explain.

If we were just beginning to have children I now have a fool-proof way of getting my children to eat their vegetables. I would look each of them into their tear-filled eyes and threaten to send them to live the rest of their lives in Liberia.

The quote below comes from the Atlanta Journal Constitution on 2/22/08. Notice the use of the words "overrun", "pervasive", "half", "not", "uninhabitable", "little" & "no". After you finish using these words there is not much left to lament...

"The country is overrun with weapons, malnutrition is pervasive, half of children are not in school, and many buildings are uninhabitable. There is little running water or electricity and no sewage or landline phone system."

The Liberian Tourist Bureau is left with something like...
"Come join us in Liberia. Is it is a terrible place to live but you don't live long."

Would I kid u?

 

Here is an article that will bring you up to date on the conditions in Liberia as of August 26, 2013: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-23843578

Here is the gist of the news article (first 3 paragraphs) in case you decided not to click on the link above:

“Liberia's education minister says she finds it hard to believe that not a single candidate passed this year's university admission exam.

Nearly 25,000 school-leavers failed the test for admission to the University of Liberia, one of two state-run universities.

The students lacked enthusiasm and did not have a basic grasp of English, a university official told the BBC.”

I always try to help out my dear readers. In case you or your offspring are having trouble getting into college, here is a link to the University of Liberia’s Web Site. The above information makes it appear they have openings in their Freshman Class...

http://www.universityliberia.org/

On Final Point: The article says Liberia has not gotten over the effects of their Civil War that ended a decade ago. The Smartfella believes that the Government’s Department of Getting Over Things ought to crank it up a bit.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella