Heaven Knows I Do Not Expect You To Read This Entire Blog Posting!

Heaven Also Knows Even I Did Not Read This Entire Blog Posting

Do the Lawyers make this type of Silliness necessary or do we make Lawyers necessary because we keep asking them to sue everyone about everything?

 

I have received am email from my TV Provider, Dish Network. They felt the need to inform me about their policy regarding how I am to go about disputing my disputes with them.

 

The small print below is that Arbitration Policy. It is 2,407 Words Long! If they had asked me, but, of course, they did not ask me, I could have shrunk their Arbitration Policy down to 21 words...

 To resolve any legal disputes with DISH, instead of a jury trial, you must use either arbitration or small claims court.

A fine example of how involved this policy is is the following excerpt where Dish tries to tell me who Dish is & is not & was & will be in the future...

For purposes of Section 12 only, "DISH," "we," "us," or "our" means DISH Network L.L.C., DISH Network Corporation and its past and present direct and indirect subsidiaries, and the predecessors, successors and assigns of all of the foregoing persons and entities, and the past or present officers, directors, employees, partners, agents, attorneys, shareholders and legal representatives of all of the foregoing persons and entities.

(The above excerpt alone is 43 words more than my 21 words.)

From: DISH
Date: Aug 30, 2015, 5:05:34 AM
Subject: Important Notification Regarding Addition of Arbitration Provision and Other Changes to your DISH Residential Customer Agreement

 

Dear Fella,

We recently made changes to your Residential Customer Agreement with DISH. One of the changes adds an arbitration provision that requires you to use either arbitration or small claims court, not a jury trial, to resolve any legal disputes with DISH. The details of the arbitration provision are provided below.

You may opt out of this arbitration provision by providing written notice to DISH within 30 days. The details are provided in Section 12(H) below, and a form that you can use to opt out is available at http://www.dish.com/downloads/legal/arbitration-opt-out.pdf.

The most recent version of the Residential Customer Agreement, which incorporates the arbitration provision along with the other changes, can be viewed at http://www.dish.com/downloads/legal/residential-agreement.pdf.

Thank you for being a DISH customer,

 

(The small print below is the part you need not read but please scroll through it to the bottom & read Fella’s Closing Wise Crack.)

12.DISPUTE RESOLUTION, MANDATORY AND BINDING ARBITRATION AND CLASS ACTION WAIVER

A. Mandatory and Binding Arbitration. In the event that you or we have a Dispute (as defined below) that cannot be resolved through informal dispute resolution pursuant to Section 12(C), then you and we agree (unless you opt out of Section 12 in accordance with Section 12(H)) to resolve such Dispute in an individual action, either through binding arbitration or in small claims court, instead of in courts of general jurisdiction. You acknowledge and agree that, in the event that you or DISH commences an individual action in small claims court in accordance with Section 12 and it is determined that the applicable small claims court cannot adjudicate such individual action (e.g., such small claims court lacks jurisdiction over such individual action), then such Dispute may only be resolved through an arbitration proceeding pursuant to Section 12. Arbitration is more informal than a lawsuit in court. Arbitration means that you will have a fair hearing before a neutral arbitrator rather than before a judge or jury in a court. Arbitrators can award the same damages that a court can award. Proceeding in arbitration may result in limited discovery and is subject to limited review by courts. Arbitration means that you waive your right to a trial by a jury or a trial by a judge (other than in small claims court). Any arbitration under this Agreement will take place on an individual basis; class arbitrations and class or representative claims are not permitted. BY ENTERING INTO THIS AGREEMENT, YOU AND DISH ARE EACH AGREEING TO WAIVE THE RIGHT TO A TRIAL BY JURY OR A TRIAL BY A JUDGE (OTHER THAN IN SMALL CLAIMS COURT) AND THE RIGHT TO PARTICIPATE IN A CLASS ACTION OR TO BRING A CLAIM IN A REPRESENTATIVE CAPACITY. You and DISH also each agree that this Agreement evidences a transaction in interstate commerce and, thus, that the Federal Arbitration Act (the "FAA") governs the interpretation and enforcement of this provision. Nothing in this Agreement precludes you from bringing issues to the attention of federal, state or local agencies (including, without limitation, the Federal Communications Commission). Such agencies can, in the event that the law allows, seek relief against us on your behalf.

B. Dispute Defined. The term "Dispute" means, subject to the exceptions set forth in Section 12(K), any and all past, present or future disputes, claims or controversies between you and DISH, whether based in contract, statute, regulation, ordinance, tort (including, without limitation, fraud, misrepresentation, fraudulent inducement, negligence or any other intentional tort) or any other legal or equitable theory, and includes, without limitation, the validity, enforceability and/or scope of Section 12. The term "Dispute" is to be given the broadest possible meaning that will be enforced and includes, without limitation, any and all claims between you and DISH in any way arising out of, relating to or in connection with: (i) this Agreement and your applicable Promotion Agreement(s); (ii) DISH's services (including, without limitation, Services); (iii) DISH's devices or products (including, without limitation, Equipment); (iv) billing, collection and credit reporting; (v) telephone calls, texts, faxes and emails that you claim you received from DISH and/or a party acting or purporting to act on DISH's behalf; and/or (vi) DISH's and/or its agents' collection, retention and/or disclosure of personally-identifiable information. For purposes of Section 12 only, "DISH," "we," "us," or "our" means DISH Network L.L.C., DISH Network Corporation and its past and present direct and indirect subsidiaries, and the predecessors, successors and assigns of all of the foregoing persons and entities, and the past or present officers, directors, employees, partners, agents, attorneys, shareholders and legal representatives of all of the foregoing persons and entities.

C. Informal Dispute Resolution; Notice and Opportunity to Cure. You and DISH agree to first try to resolve any Dispute informally. Accordingly, neither you nor DISH may start an individual action, either through binding arbitration or in small claims court, for at least sixty (60) calendar days after you or DISH notifies the other of a Dispute by sending a written document titled "dispute resolution notice" (each, a "Dispute Resolution Notice"). You may, but are not required to, download a form Dispute Resolution Notice at http://www.dish.com/downloads/legal/dispute-resolution-notice.pdf. You must send your Dispute Resolution Notice to the Legal Dispute Resolution Notice Address (i.e., DISH Network L.L.C., Attn: Dispute Resolution, P.O. Box 9040, Littleton, Colorado 80120-9040), and we must send our Dispute Resolution Notice to your billing address then appearing in our records. The Dispute Resolution Notice must: (i) state your name, account number and contact information; (ii) describe the nature and basis of the Dispute; and (iii) set forth the specific relief sought in connection with the Dispute. In the event that you and DISH do not reach an agreement to resolve the Dispute within sixty (60) calendar days after the Dispute Resolution Notice is received, then you or DISH may commence an individual action, either through binding arbitration or in small claims court, in accordance with Section 12.

D. Arbitration Procedures. Unless you and DISH agree otherwise in writing, the arbitration will be governed by the then-current Consumer Arbitration Rules (collectively, the "AAA Rules") of the American Arbitration Association ("AAA") excluding any rules for class or collective actions, as modified by this Agreement, and will be administered by the AAA and conducted before a single, neutral arbitrator. The AAA Rules are available online at the AAA's website (as of August 7, 2015, www.adr.org), by calling the AAA (as of August 7, 2015, 1-800-778-7879) or by submitting a written request to the Legal Dispute Resolution Notice Address (i.e., DISH Network L.L.C., Attn: Dispute Resolution, P.O. Box 9040, Littleton, Colorado 80120-9040). The arbitration will be held at a location in the county of your billing address then appearing in our records unless you and we both agree to another location or a telephonic or "desk" arbitration (i.e., an arbitration conducted solely on the basis of written submissions by the participants). The arbitrator will be bound by the terms and conditions of this Agreement, including, without limitation, DISH's and your waiver of the right to a trial by jury or a trial by a judge (other than in small claims court) and the right to participate in a class action or to bring a claim in a representative capacity. The arbitrator, and not any federal, state or local court or agency, shall have exclusive authority to adjudicate the merits of any Dispute. In the event that you and/or DISH elect to submit a Dispute to arbitration pursuant to Section 12, then the party initiating arbitration must open a case by filing with the AAA: (i) a demand for arbitration; (ii) the administrative filing fee; and (iii) a copy of the applicable arbitration agreement (i.e., Section 12) — (collectively, the "Demand for Arbitration"). The filing may be made through "AAA WebFile," located on the AAA's website (www.adr.org), or by filing the Demand for Arbitration with any AAA office, regardless of the intended locale of any hearing.

E. The Arbitrator's Award. An arbitrator's award will consist of a written statement of the disposition of each Dispute and a concise written statement of the essential findings and conclusions on which the award is based. The arbitrator's decision and award are final and binding, subject only to the limited court review permitted under the FAA, and judgment on the award may be entered in any court of competent jurisdiction.

F. Costs of Arbitration. In the event that you initiate arbitration and agree that you will receive less than $75,000 in damages, then, after DISH receives notice that you have initiated arbitration, DISH will promptly reimburse you for your payment of the filing fee and DISH will directly pay the AAA any case management fees associated with the arbitration and the professional fees for the arbitrator's services. However, in the event that you initiate an arbitration in which you seek $75,000 or more in damages, then the payment of these fees will be governed by the AAA Rules.

G. Class Action Waiver. NEITHER YOU NOR DISH SHALL BE ENTITLED TO JOIN OR CONSOLIDATE CLAIMS BY OR AGAINST OTHER INDIVIDUALS OR ENTITIES, OR ARBITRATE ANY CLAIM IN A REPRESENTATIVE CAPACITY, INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, AS A REPRESENTATIVE MEMBER OF A CLASS OR IN A PRIVATE ATTORNEY GENERAL CAPACITY, IN CONNECTION WITH ANY DISPUTE (as defined above). Further, unless both you and DISH agree otherwise in writing, the arbitrator may not consolidate more than one (1) person's claims, and may not otherwise preside over any form of a representative or class proceeding. In the event that any portion of this Section 12(G) is found to be unenforceable, then the entirety of Section 12 shall be null and void.

H. Right to Opt Out. In the event that you do not wish to be bound by Section 12, then you must notify DISH in writing within thirty (30) days following the date that we first give you notice of your right to elect to opt out of Section 12 by: (i) completing the Opt Out Form located at http://www.dish.com/downloads/legal/arbitration-opt-out.pdf and sending it to the Legal Dispute Resolution Notice Address (i.e., DISH Network L.L.C., Attn: Dispute Resolution, P.O. Box 9040, Littleton, Colorado 80120-9040); or (ii) otherwise providing written notification to DISH at the Legal Dispute Resolution Notice Address that includes: (1) your name and account number; (2) your service address; and (3) a clear statement that you do not wish to resolve Disputes with DISH through arbitration. Your decision to opt out of Section 12 will have no adverse effect on your relationship with DISH or DISH's delivery of Service(s) to you. Any opt-out not received within the thirty (30) day period set forth above will not be valid and you must pursue your Disputes (if any) as an individual action, either through binding arbitration or in small claims court, pursuant to and in accordance with Section 12 (excluding this Section 12(H), which in such event will no longer apply). In the event that you are a new DISH customer, then your activation of a DISH account or receipt of Services or Equipment and failure to notify DISH in writing within thirty (30) days following the date of activation of your account shall constitute your acknowledgment and agreement that you are bound by Section 12. In the event that you are an existing DISH customer, then your continued receipt of Services or Equipment and failure to notify DISH in writing within thirty (30) days following the date that we first give you notice of your right to elect to opt out of Section 12 shall constitute your acknowledgment and agreement that you are bound by Section 12. We will be deemed to have given you notice of your right to elect to opt out of Section 12 as follows: (a) in the event that we send you notice by U.S. mail (including, without limitation, on a mailed bill, bill insert, notice, letter or postcard), then it will be considered given three (3) days after it is first deposited in the U.S. mail, addressed to you at your billing address then appearing in our records; (b) in the event that we send you notice electronically (including, without limitation, via an e-mail, electronic bill, social media message or attachment), then it will be considered given at the time we first send an electronic communication containing such notice or notifying you of the availability of such notice (or the electronic bill in which it is included) to the electronic contact information (including, without limitation, e-mail address or social media (e.g., Facebook, Twitter) identifier) then appearing in our records; and (c) in the event that we send you notice via broadcast on a television channel, or on your receiver(s) (including, without limitation, through pop-up messages sent to your receiver) or through publication on dish.com, mydish.com, dish.com/legal or other website, then it will be considered given when first broadcast, sent or published.

I. Miscellaneous. Notwithstanding any provision in this Agreement to the contrary, in the event that DISH makes any future change to Section 12 (other than a change to the Legal Dispute Resolution Notice Address), then you may reject any such future change as follows: (i) in the event that we elect to provide notice of such change, then by sending written notice to DISH at the Legal Dispute Resolution Notice Address of your rejection of such change within thirty (30) days following the date that we first give you our notice; or (ii) in the event that we elect not to provide notice of such change, then by sending written notice to DISH at the Legal Dispute Resolution Notice Address of your rejection of such change at any time. By rejecting any future change, you are agreeing that you will resolve any Dispute between you and DISH in accordance with the unmodified language of Section 12, unless you have previously opted out of Section 12 in a timely manner. Except as otherwise set forth in Section 12 or under applicable law, each of you and DISH shall bear and be solely responsible for its respective attorneys' fees, costs and expenses incurred in connection with any Dispute.

J. Expenses Outside of Arbitration. Except as otherwise expressly set forth in this Agreement, in the event that either party files a judicial or administrative action asserting a claim that is subject to arbitration (other than an individual action in small claims court) and the other party successfully compels arbitration, then the party filing that judicial or administrative action must pay the other party's costs and expenses incurred in seeking to compel arbitration (including, without limitation, reasonable attorneys' fees, expenses and court costs).

K. Exceptions. The following Disputes are excluded from Section 12 (including, without limitation, the informal dispute resolution provision set forth in Section 12(C)) and may only be decided by a court of competent jurisdiction: (i) any Dispute based on your receipt of all or any portion of the Services without paying for them, whether though theft of Services, piracy or otherwise; and (ii) any Dispute based on a violation of the Communications Act of 1934, 47 U.S.C. § 1201 et seq., or the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 18 U.S.C. §§ 2510-2521 et seq., or any federal or state law relating to signal theft or theft of service.

L. Survival. Section 12 shall survive expiration or earlier termination of this Agreement for any reason or no reason indefinitely.

 

Fella’s Closing Wise Crack... The scroll-through above is only Section 12 (2,407 words) of Dish’s Residential Customer Agreement (10,950 words). Research has shown that, with the single exception of the lady pictured below, no one has ever read the entire Residential Customer Agreement...

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Every lawyer that read my 21 Words above said to himself, “If the Fella thinks that his 21 words are sufficient, he is really being silly!”