Friday, May 31, 2024

It Is Hard To Believe But My Father Died 58 Years Ago

 

My Father was a hard-working owner of a grocery store in an era when neighborhood grocery stores were all over the place. 

The late Howard Cosell (Google him) and my late Father are visiting with me today and Howard surprised me by saying to me, "Fella, don't hold back. Tell your Father like it is". I have always listened to Howard so before I knew what I was saying I said, “Let’s face it, Daddy, you were not a good businessman. You did know how to price your goods. You just didn’t understand how to make a profit”.

I saw immediately that this straight talk was hurtful to hard working him but it was true. Simply stated, my Daddy's pricing of his groceries as low as he had kept his family from becoming wealthy!

Did I just hear several of My Dear Readers shout at me, “What are you talking about, Fella? Where is your proof that your Father priced his groceries too low?”

Ok, I’ll prove it and it will only take 5 bullet points…

  • At present my wife and I are enjoying a loaf of cinnamon bread.
  • It is delicious!
  • We paid $5.79 for it.
  • Back in the 1950s my not-a-good-businessman Father sold cinnamon bread loaves in his store also but he sold them for 45 cents a loaf!
  • If he had priced them at $5.79 a loaf, We Would Have Been Rich!
Sorry, Daddy.

I have proven my point...Or have I?

Would I kid u?
Smartfella

Monday, May 27, 2024

President Reagan Was Worried About Our Future

He tried his best but it looks like many of us today are not listening.

He was called the Great Communicator because he communicated. He spoke from the Oval Office 34 times in 8 years. That’s more than 4 times a year. When was the last time we heard from our President speaking from the Oval Office?

Near the end of his address, I found 5 lines that I could not resist underlining because I see what he said there as a real danger to this good nation of ours.

Farewell Address to the Nation


January 11, 1989

My fellow Americans:

This is the 34th time I'll speak to you from the Oval Office and the last. We've been together 8 years now, and soon it'll be time for me to go. But before I do, I wanted to share some thoughts, some of which I've been saving for a long time.

It's been the honor of my life to be your President. So many of you have written the past few weeks to say thanks, but I could say as much to you. Nancy and I are grateful for the opportunity you gave us to serve.

One of the things about the Presidency is that you're always somewhat apart. You spend a lot of time going by too fast in a car someone else is driving, and seeing the people through tinted glass -- the parents holding up a child, and the wave you saw too late and couldn't return. And so many times I wanted to stop and reach out from behind the glass, and connect. Well, maybe I can do a little of that tonight.

People ask how I feel about leaving. And the fact is, ``parting is such sweet sorrow.'' The sweet part is California and the ranch and freedom. The sorrow -- the goodbyes, of course, and leaving this beautiful place.

You know, down the hall and up the stairs from this office is the part of the White House where the President and his family live. There are a few favorite windows I have up there that I like to stand and look out of early in the morning. The view is over the grounds here to the Washington Monument, and then the Mall and the Jefferson Memorial. But on mornings when the humidity is low, you can see past the Jefferson to the river, the Potomac, and the Virginia shore. Someone said that's the view Lincoln had when he saw the smoke rising from the Battle of Bull Run. I see more prosaic things: the grass on the banks, the morning traffic as people make their way to work, now and then a sailboat on the river.

I've been thinking a bit at that window. I've been reflecting on what the past 8 years have meant and mean. And the image that comes to mind like a refrain is a nautical one -- a small story about a big ship, and a refugee, and a sailor. It was back in the early eighties, at the height of the boat people. And the sailor was hard at work on the carrier Midway, which was patrolling the South China Sea. The sailor, like most American servicemen, was young, smart, and fiercely observant. The crew spied on the horizon a leaky little boat. And crammed inside were refugees from Indochina hoping to get to America. The Midway sent a small launch to bring them to the ship and safety. As the refugees made their way through the choppy seas, one spied the sailor on deck, and stood up, and called out to him. He yelled, ``Hello, American sailor. Hello, freedom man.''

A small moment with a big meaning, a moment the sailor, who wrote it in a letter, couldn't get out of his mind. And, when I saw it, neither could I. Because that's what it was to be an American in the 1980's. We stood, again, for freedom. I know we always have, but in the past few years the world again -- and in a way, we ourselves -- rediscovered it.

It's been quite a journey this decade, and we held together through some stormy seas. And at the end, together, we are reaching our destination.

The fact is, from Grenada to the Washington and Moscow summits, from the recession of '81 to '82, to the expansion that began in late '82 and continues to this day, we've made a difference. The way I see it, there were two great triumphs, two things that I'm proudest of. One is the economic recovery, in which the people of America created -- and filled -- 19 million new jobs. The other is the recovery of our morale. America is respected again in the world and looked to for leadership.

Something that happened to me a few years ago reflects some of this. It was back in 1981, and I was attending my first big economic summit, which was held that year in Canada. The meeting place rotates among the member countries. The opening meeting was a formal dinner for the heads of government of the seven industrialized nations. Now, I sat there like the new kid in school and listened, and it was all Francois this and Helmut that. They dropped titles and spoke to one another on a first-name basis. Well, at one point I sort of leaned in and said, ``My name's Ron.'' Well, in that same year, we began the actions we felt would ignite an economic comeback -- cut taxes and regulation, started to cut spending. And soon the recovery began.

Two years later, another economic summit with pretty much the same cast. At the big opening meeting we all got together, and all of a sudden, just for a moment, I saw that everyone was just sitting there looking at me. And then one of them broke the silence. ``Tell us about the American miracle,'' he said.

Well, back in 1980, when I was running for President, it was all so different. Some pundits said our programs would result in catastrophe. Our views on foreign affairs would cause war. Our plans for the economy would cause inflation to soar and bring about economic collapse. I even remember one highly respected economist saying, back in 1982, that ``The engines of economic growth have shut down here, and they're likely to stay that way for years to come.'' Well, he and the other opinion leaders were wrong. The fact is, what they called ``radical'' was really ``right.'' What they called ``dangerous'' was just ``desperately needed.''

And in all of that time I won a nickname, ``The Great Communicator.'' But I never thought it was my style or the words I used that made a difference: it was the content. I wasn't a great communicator, but I communicated great things, and they didn't spring full bloom from my brow, they came from the heart of a great nation -- from our experience, our wisdom, and our belief in the principles that have guided us for two centuries. They called it the Reagan revolution. Well, I'll accept that, but for me it always seemed more like the great rediscovery, a rediscovery of our values and our common sense.

Common sense told us that when you put a big tax on something, the people will produce less of it. So, we cut the people's tax rates, and the people produced more than ever before. The economy bloomed like a plant that had been cut back and could now grow quicker and stronger. Our economic program brought about the longest peacetime expansion in our history: real family income up, the poverty rate down, entrepreneurship booming, and an explosion in research and new technology. We're exporting more than ever because American industry became more competitive and at the same time, we summoned the national will to knock down protectionist walls abroad instead of erecting them at home.

Common sense also told us that to preserve the peace, we'd have to become strong again after years of weakness and confusion. So, we rebuilt our defenses, and this New Year we toasted the new peacefulness around the globe. Not only have the superpowers actually begun to reduce their stockpiles of nuclear weapons -- and hope for even more progress is bright -- but the regional conflicts that rack the globe are also beginning to cease. The Persian Gulf is no longer a war zone. The Soviets are leaving Afghanistan. The Vietnamese are preparing to pull out of Cambodia, and an American-mediated accord will soon send 50,000 Cuban troops home from Angola.

The lesson of all this was, of course, that because we're a great nation, our challenges seem complex. It will always be this way. But as long as we remember our first principles and believe in ourselves, the future will always be ours. And something else we learned: Once you begin a great movement, there's no telling where it will end. We meant to change a nation, and instead, we changed a world.

Countries across the globe are turning to free markets and free speech and turning away from the ideologies of the past. For them, the great rediscovery of the 1980's has been that, lo and behold, the moral way of government is the practical way of government: Democracy, the profoundly good, is also the profoundly productive.

When you've got to the point when you can celebrate the anniversaries of your 39th birthday you can sit back sometimes, review your life, and see it flowing before you. For me there was a fork in the river, and it was right in the middle of my life. I never meant to go into politics. It wasn't my intention when I was young. But I was raised to believe you had to pay your way for the blessings bestowed on you. I was happy with my career in the entertainment world, but I ultimately went into politics because I wanted to protect something precious.

Ours was the first revolution in the history of mankind that truly reversed the course of government, and with three little words: ``We the People.'' ``We the People'' tell the government what to do; it doesn't tell us. ``We the People'' are the driver; the government is the car. And we decide where it should go, and by what route, and how fast. Almost all the world's constitutions are documents in which governments tell the people what their privileges are. Our Constitution is a document in which ``We the People'' tell the government what it is allowed to do. ``We the People'' are free. This belief has been the underlying basis for everything I've tried to do these past 8 years.

But back in the 1960's, when I began, it seemed to me that we'd begun reversing the order of things -- that through more and more rules and regulations and confiscatory taxes, the government was taking more of our money, more of our options, and more of our freedom. I went into politics in part to put up my hand and say, ``Stop.'' I was a citizen politician, and it seemed the right thing for a citizen to do.

I think we have stopped a lot of what needed stopping. And I hope we have once again reminded people that man is not free unless government is limited. There's a clear cause and effect here that is as neat and predictable as a law of physics: As government expands, liberty contracts.

Nothing is less free than pure communism -- and yet we have, the past few years, forged a satisfying new closeness with the Soviet Union. I've been asked if this isn't a gamble, and my answer is no because we're basing our actions not on words but deeds. The detente of the 1970's was based not on actions but promises. They'd promise to treat their own people and the people of the world better. But the gulag was still the gulag, and the state was still expansionist, and they still waged proxy wars in Africa, Asia, and Latin America.

Well, this time, so far, it's different. President Gorbachev has brought about some internal democratic reforms and begun the withdrawal from Afghanistan. He has also freed prisoners whose names I've given him every time we've met.

But life has a way of reminding you of big things through small incidents. Once, during the heady days of the Moscow summit, Nancy and I decided to break off from the entourage one afternoon to visit the shops on Arbat Street -- that's a little street just off Moscow's main shopping area. Even though our visit was a surprise, every Russian there immediately recognized us and called out our names and reached for our hands. We were just about swept away by the warmth. You could almost feel the possibilities in all that joy. But within seconds, a KGB detail pushed their way toward us and began pushing and shoving the people in the crowd. It was an interesting moment. It reminded me that while the man on the street in the Soviet Union yearns for peace, the government is Communist. And those who run it are Communists, and that means we and they view such issues as freedom and human rights very differently.

We must keep up our guard, but we must also continue to work together to lessen and eliminate tension and mistrust. My view is that President Gorbachev is different from previous Soviet leaders. I think he knows some of the things wrong with his society and is trying to fix them. We wish him well. And we'll continue to work to make sure that the Soviet Union that eventually emerges from this process is a less threatening one. What it all boils down to is this: I want the new closeness to continue. And it will, as long as we make it clear that we will continue to act in a certain way as long as they continue to act in a helpful manner. If and when they don't, at first pull your punches. If they persist, pull the plug. It's still trust but verify. It's still play, but cut the cards. It's still watch closely. And don't be afraid to see what you see.

I've been asked if I have any regrets. Well, I do. The deficit is one. I've been talking a great deal about that lately, but tonight isn't for arguments, and I'm going to hold my tongue. But an observation: I've had my share of victories in the Congress, but what few people noticed is that I never won anything you didn't win for me. They never saw my troops, they never saw Reagan's regiments, the American people. You won every battle with every call you made and letter you wrote demanding action. Well, action is still needed. If we're to finish the job, Reagan's regiments will have to become the Bush brigades. Soon he'll be the chief, and he'll need you every bit as much as I did.

Finally, there is a great tradition of warnings in Presidential farewells, and I've got one that's been on my mind for some time. But oddly enough it starts with one of the things I'm proudest of in the past 8 years: the resurgence of national pride that I called the new patriotism. This national feeling is good, but it won't count for much, and it won't last unless it's grounded in thoughtfulness and knowledge.

An informed patriotism is what we want. And are we doing a good enough job teaching our children what America is and what she represents in the long history of the world? Those of us who are over 35 or so years of age grew up in a different America. We were taught, very directly, what it means to be an American. And we absorbed, almost in the air, a love of country and an appreciation of its institutions. If you didn't get these things from your family you got them from the neighborhood, from the father down the street who fought in Korea or the family who lost someone at Anzio. Or you could get a sense of patriotism from school. And if all else failed you could get a sense of patriotism from the popular culture. The movies celebrated democratic values and implicitly reinforced the idea that America was special. TV was like that, too, through the mid-sixties.

But now, we're about to enter the nineties, and some things have changed. Younger parents aren't sure that an unambivalent appreciation of America is the right thing to teach modern children. And as for those who create the popular culture, well-grounded patriotism is no longer the style. Our spirit is back, but we haven't reinstitutionalized it. We've got to do a better job of getting across that America is freedom -- freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom of enterprise. And freedom is special and rare. It's fragile; it needs production [protection].

So, we've got to teach history based not on what's in fashion but what's important -- why the Pilgrims came here, who Jimmy Doolittle was, and what those 30 seconds over Tokyo meant. You know, 4 years ago on the 40th anniversary of D - day, I read a letter from a young woman writing to her late father, who'd fought on Omaha Beach. Her name was Lisa Zanatta Henn, and she said, ``we will always remember, we will never forget what the boys of Normandy did.'' Well, let's help her keep her word. If we forget what we did, we won't know who we are. I'm warning of an eradication of the American memory that could result, ultimately, in an erosion of the American spirit. Let's start with some basics: more attention to American history and a greater emphasis on civic ritual.

And let me offer lesson number one about America: All great change in America begins at the dinner table. So, tomorrow night in the kitchen I hope the talking begins. And children, if your parents haven't been teaching you what it means to be an American, let 'em know and nail 'em on it. That would be a very American thing to do.

And that's about all I have to say tonight, except for one thing. The past few days when I've been at that window upstairs, I've thought a bit of the ``shining city upon a hill.'' The phrase comes from John Winthrop, who wrote it to describe the America he imagined. What he imagined was important because he was an early Pilgrim, an early freedom man. He journeyed here on what today we'd call a little wooden boat; and like the other Pilgrims, he was looking for a home that would be free.

I've spoken of the shining city all my political life, but I don't know if I ever quite communicated what I saw when I said it. But in my mind it was a tall, proud city built on rocks stronger than oceans, wind-swept, God-blessed, and teeming with people of all kinds living in harmony and peace; a city with free ports that hummed with commerce and creativity. And if there had to be city walls, the walls had doors and the doors were open to anyone with the will and the heart to get here. That's how I saw it, and see it still.

And how stands the city on this winter night? More prosperous, more secure, and happier than it was 8 years ago. But more than that: After 200 years, two centuries, she still stands strong and true on the granite ridge, and her glow has held steady no matter what storm. And she's still a beacon, still a magnet for all who must have freedom, for all the pilgrims from all the lost places who are hurtling through the darkness, toward home.

We've done our part. And as I walk off into the city streets, a final word to the men and women of the Reagan revolution, the men and women across America who for 8 years did the work that brought America back. My friends: We did it. We weren't just marking time. We made a difference. We made the city stronger, we made the city freer, and we left her in good hands. All in all, not bad, not bad at all.

And so, goodbye, God bless you, and God bless the United States of America.

Note: The President spoke at 9:02 p.m. from the Oval Office at the White House. The address was broadcast live on nationwide radio and television.

Date 01/11/1989

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Wednesday, May 15, 2024

It’s Hard To Imagine WWI Lasting More Than One Day!

Included with this Blog Posting is a picture of the spent artillery shells fired at the German Lines during an Allied Artillery Bombardment on a Single Day in 1916. 

You would think that all the Germans would have been killed that very day.

If you thought that, you would have been wrong because this kind of thing happened almost every day for more than 4 years.


Wow!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Tuesday, May 14, 2024

If You Have Ever Said, “Now I Have Seen Everything", You Were Wrong Because I Bet You Had Not Seen This

This Foolishness comes to us from out of the Philippines.

“P34,000” in Philippian Money converts to roughly $600 in American Dollars.

If these jeans cost $34,000, it would be Ridiculously Ridiculous.

Costing roughly $600 is Super Ridiculous.

If they cost $1.00, it would still be Just Plain Stupid.

Are you ready for this?...

Now you can go ahead and say it, “Now I Have Seen Everything!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Saturday, May 04, 2024

My Silly Blog Posting From 2018 Foresaw Our Current College Campus Chaos

 

I don’t want to make claim that I have the ability to see into the future simply because I have the ability to see into the future. I admit I can’t see everything that’s going to happen but I do have the ability to see Foolishness that’s going to happen because our current crop of protestors are predicable when it comes to Foolishness.

The Good Ole USofA is currently being torn apart by Chaotic College Campus Protests. On October 19, 2018, I published a Blog Posting about the protests that were going on at that time which were every bit as silly as what we are seeing today.

************

Published October 19, 2018...

Note: I have modified the original a bit. My modifications are highlighted in yellow.

I Can’t Listen To You Right Now Because I Am Busy Not Listening To You

We are in a dangerous point in the history of the Good Ole USofA. We need to listen to and evaluate counter arguments but we can’t listen to the opposition’s counter arguments because...

  • We Are Busy Printing Up Protest Signs
  • Making Up Nifty Protest Rhymes
  • Memorizing New Talking Points We Don’t Understand
  • Perfecting Our Ability To Not Listen To What Our Opponent Is Saying While Preparing To Recite Our Next Brilliant Talking Point As Soon As Our Opponent Takes A Breath As He Rushes To Finish His Latest Lame Talking Point

The following scenario is Made Up Nonsense by Fella but it is also Disguised Truth. I am forced to disguise the truth because, if I did not disguise it, I would be accused of using a Logical and Defensible Talking Point which, in the minds of many of my fellow Americans, is not acceptable......

  • Peter Fernerk is accused of killing Jud Pendergrass at 8:05pm on March 2, 2018 in Omaha, Nebraska.
  • Mr. Fernerk is interviewed on TV about his whereabouts at 8:05pm on March 2, 2018.
  • In his defense he offers the fact that at 8:05pm on March 2, 2018 he was making a speech about the Dangers of Eating Too Many Sesame Seeds to an audience of 3,812 patrons in the Audrey Higgins Auditorium in Hartford, Connecticut.
  • His televised address lasted from 7:32pm until 8:29pm; therefore, he could not possibly have been in Omaha Nebraska at 8:05pm on that very same night.

Immediately after he was done with his interview a demonstration began which demanded...

  • He immediately be arrested for killing Jud Pendergrass at 8:05pm on March 2, 2018 in Omaha, Nebraska.
  • The demonstrators had lots of Signs and Chants like...
    >“Fernerk Is a Jerk”
    >“Poor Jud Is Dead”
    >“We Can’t Be Bothered With Truth That Is Not Our Truth”
    >“There Is No Need For A Trial Because We Have An Accusation
    >“No Irrefutable Alibi Is Acceptable”

The leader of the demonstration was interviewed, as he continued to throw rotten tomatoes at passing cars...

  • Question: Are you aware that Peter Fernerk was in Hartford at the time of the killing of Jud Pendergrass?
  • Answer: It does not matter where he was because he is guilty and, even if he is not guilty, he ought to be guilty.
  • Question: Did you listen to Peter Fernerk’s televised interview where he offered into evidence the evidence that he was in Hartford, Connecticut at the time of the killing and he has the sworn statements from 3,812 patrons who were in the audience and 17,256,336 viewers who watched his speech on television?
  • Answer: It does not matter how many people saw him make that speech in Hartford, Connecticut because he is guilty and, even if he is not guilty, he ought to be guilty.
  • Question: Has it ever crossed your mind that maybe this demonstration is ill advised and you ought to have cancelled it?
  • Answer: There is no way this demonstration could have been cancelled because we had already printed up the Protest Signs.

Yea, I made all of the above silliness up...Or did I?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Here is how to stop all demonstrations of all kinds about anything. Make it against the law to Shout Anything That Rhymes.

 

Monday, April 29, 2024

The Demise Of The 30 Second Commercial

It seems like only yesterday that the 30 Second TV Commercial was always there in front of us. We may not have always paid that much attention to it but it was there bringing us information about things we might want to buy, whether we needed to buy those things or not.

All of a sudden they were gone but Fella is here to tell you they that they are not gone. Did you just say, “Fella, did it again. Again he confused us again”.

OK, I get your drift and, even though I promised in the past not to confuse you in the future, I am apologizing to you in the present and admitting I will probably confuse you in the future but, as in the past, I will always do my best to unconfuse you.

************

The 30 Second TV Commercial is still seen by us every day as we watch TV but now they only lasts 10 seconds. This, of course, all came about because the TV Networks had raised the cost of their 30 Second TV Commercial so high that the advertisers could no longer afford to pay to run the 30 Second TV Commercials, so they cut them down to 10 Seconds.

Now you are thinking that Fella has lost it (again) because you are thinking, if it is a 10 Second TV Commercial how can it be a 30 Second TV Commercial?

I’m ready for you thinking. It is still a 30 Second TV Commercial because, even though it only lasts 10 seconds, it has all the words you would have heard if the 30 Second, but now 10 Second TV Commercial, had still been a 30 Second TV Commercial.

This, My Dear Reader, is why you often say after you listen to 10 Second TV Commercial things like this...

Ø What did he just say?

Ø Hazel, (provided your wife, partner or significant other is Named Hazel) did you get that?

Ø I’m not sure what the name of the product he was just selling to me was.

Ø Did the announcer mention the name of the product he was selling?

Ø I’m sorry but my ears just don’t hear that fast!

I am sorry to tell you that it’s going to get worse. That will happen when the Networks start charging as much for a 10 Second TV Commercial as they used to charge for a 30 Second TV Commercial and the advertisers respond by stopping the buying 10 Second TV Commercials and start buying 5 Second TV Commercials.

When that happens, the Late Paul Harvey is going to come into my Computer Cave and say to me, “Fella, I would like to introduce you to a late friend of mine. Sergeant Shultz, meet Fella?”

And Sergeant Shultz will say, “Now I really know nothing!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Sunday, April 28, 2024

Overnight Fix

As Pogo almost said (yea, go ahead and Google Pogo), “We See The Problem And It Is Us”

Pogo’s actual quote was: ”We Have Met the Enemy and He Is Us”

I usual I see the Problem and, as usual, I have a Fix to the Problem.

The Problem is our Administrations of Higher Learning don’t know what to do. While they try and figure out what to do about the consternation and mayhem on their college campuses they are negotiating with the consternation and mayhem creating students controlling their out-of-control campuses.

Fella (hidden inside his potted plant outfit) overheard one of Administration Versus Student Negotiations and it went like this (in bullet point format) ...

Ø Administration: We understand that you want to burn down 5 of our college’s buildings.

Ø Students: That’s correct.

Ø Administration: Are you open to negotiation on this issue?

Ø Students: What’s your offer?

Ø Administration: Would you be agreeable to burning down only 3?

Ø Students: No!

************

Fella’s Fix:

The Administrations of Higher Learning could fix this problem overnight if our 9% Approval Rated Congress would pass a law that said that any Administration of Higher Learning that can’t provide an Education to it’s Tuition Paying Students has to Reimburse In Full All Tuition Already Paid for the Current College Session to the Current Paying Student’s Parents.

Fella thinks the Administrations of Higher Learning would fix the problem the day after this law is passed.

************

On the other hand, do you see the problem with Fella’s Fix of the Problem?

We have gotten to this low point in our once storied history where laws passed by our congress are being ignored by our congress. This means Fella’s Fix Is No Fix At All. It also means that Fella has given up and he has this message for the Good Ole USofA...

You Figure It Out. I’m Done.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe:

I'll tell you, son, the minority got us out-numbered!

Quote from Congersman Frog from Pogo


Sunday, April 07, 2024

I’m Always Running Into Strange Happenings

 

I don’t know what it is about me but Strange Happenings are always happening all around me. It may be because I notice things. Maybe that’s not the case at all. Maybe you would have noticed this one because this one was really strange. I’m getting ahead of myself again. Please allow me to explain...

I was in a diner I like to dine in when I noticed this Strange Happening. A couple of men had come in and sat at a table close to me. That’s not strange. The strange part was they had been there long enough to be into their desserts and they had not said a thing to each other the whole time they were there.

You may not know this about me but, besides being a Noticer, I am also Nosey. I asked Jake, the owner of the diner, what was going on. He immediately got a sad look on his face and, in bullet point format, he started telling me the whole sad story...

  • The older of the two men is the boss.
  • He is a great guy.
  • He believes in getting to know his employees.
  • For at least a decade he has been bringing his employees into the diner for a Get To Know Each Other Lunch.
  • He has 10 employees and he brings them in, one at a time, eager to get to know all about them.
  • Over this time the Federal Government has been piling on a List of Subjects that an employer is not allowed to ask an employee.
  • The Great Guy Boss recently shared the Don’t Dare Ask List with Jake.
  • Jake took the list out of his apron and shared it with me...
    >The total Don’t Dare Asks List is now up to 20.
    >Jake had yellow highlighted the 8 ones the Great Guy Boss told him were the most problematic to him...
    1. Questions about your race, religion, skin color, sexual orientation, gender identity or disability...
    >The Great Guy Boss said he understood the need for these restrictions but he had a hard time of it when he had to go to a court hearing because he asked a disabled employee to not leave his wheelchair in the aisle between the desks. He has a small office for his 10 employees to work in and the wheelchair was causing other employees to climb over the desks on either side of the wheelchair to get to the rest room. Some very important paperwork had been stepped on and crinkled up and 2 employees had fallen off the desks and had been out of work for several days each before they could return to the office. The Great Guy Boss said all he had done was ask the disabled employee if it was OK to have someone move the wheelchair so as not to hinder access to the rest room. He was shocked to hear his disabled employee shout back at him, “Are you saying I’m disabled?”
    2. Details about your marital status...
    >The Great Guy Boss said he got in trouble with this one when he asked his newly married employee, “Did the wedding ceremony go well?”
    3. Your age.
    4. Your criminal history.
    5. Your weigh or appearance...
    > The Great Guy Boss said he realized his little joke was not well accepted when his Get To Know Each Other Lunch Guest threw his cannoli at him after he said, “For a fat guy you don’t sweat much.”
    6. Your immigration status.
    7. Your plans for vacation...
    > The Great Guy Boss said he was only trying to show concern for his employee when he asked, “Are you sure Bungee Jumping is safe?”
    8. 
    Your Medical History...
    > The Great Guy Boss said he got a black eye when he asked, “I understand you were hit by a truck over the weekend. Are you OK?”

Jake said, “Now you understand why the Great Guy Boss is reluctant to say anything at his Get To Know Each Other Lunches. He just sits there, chews slowly and pays the check when their meals have been eaten. I believe he is really a Great Guy. I also believe he longs for the days before the 20 Things Your Boss Cannot Ask You List was published on the Internet. Probably his greater fear is the fact that he is certain the 20 List is still growing.”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 


Tuesday, April 02, 2024

I know how to stop all the Violence, Mayhem and Blowing Up of Things in the Middle East

I know I don't have to remind you that I am The Noticer. Here is a recent notice that I noticed but you would not have noticed even if you had run across what I noticed...

The Middle East Terrorist we see on television every night are always driving around in Small Toyota Pick Up Trucks with a whole bunch of armed to the teeth terrorist in the bed of their Small Toyota Pickup Trucks and 50 Caliber Machine Guns mounted in the bed of their Small Toyota Pickup Trucks.

They and their Small Pickup Trucks are responsible for all the Mayhem, Violence and the Blowing Up of Things we see on the Nightly News.

As Usual, Fella has a Fix. It is as simple as this...

  • Tell Toyota they are not allowed to build any more Small Pickup Trucks.
  • Tell Toyota to tell the Terrorist that there is a Return To The Factory Recall in effect that requires the return of all Small Pickup Trucks to the Original Assembly Plant for replacement of the 50 Caliber Machine Gun Bracket.
  • Once all the trucks are back in Toyota’s hands, Toyota can send a text message to all terrorists and tell them that they have been tricked and their Small Pickup Trucks will not be returned to them.

It won’t be long before the terrorist are going to be all tuckered out from walking all over the place carrying all those 50 Caliber Machine Guns, Handguns, AK 47s, Explosives and Ammunition. They are going to be so tired they are going to stop with all that Violence, Mayhem and Blowing Up Of Things. Letters the likes of this will be flying all over the dessert, “Dear mom, if I promise not to blow you up, can I come home? I've had it with all this Violence, Mayhem And Blowing Up Of Things. It's not as much fun as it used to be. I’m going to open a kiosk in the mall to sell dates and new and used magic carpets”.

There you have it the Violence, Mayhem and Blowing Up of Things Up In the Middle East will be a thing of the past before they know what hit them and they are going to be so tired they won't hit back.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Friday, March 22, 2024

Higher Is Not Necessarily Up There

 

Universities of Higher Education are having a hard time of late. Fella’s opinion is that in most cases they have deserved the hard times that they have been having, however, that is not the purpose of this Blog Posting.

************

Fella usually deals in specifics and today will prove to be no exception to that usual dealing position of mine.

Any University of Higher Education that can’t handle Basic Arithmetic ought not be referred to as “higher”. It is insulting to anyone who has gone past the fifth grade to treat these institutions as if they were smart.

Some of My Dear Readers know that I can see in my mind’s eye (whatever that is) the facial expressions on the faces of those who are reading my Blog. At this moment I can see there are 8 of you who think I do not know what the heck of which I speak.

I have been publishing this Blog since right after the turn of the century and I must say I am a bit taken aback that there are so many who doubt me. Eight used to be Enough back in the early days of television but, to Fella’s way of thinking, 8 is a lot when it comes to readers of my Blog doubting me. After all, have I not demonstrated over and over year after year that I am a Smart Fella?

Ø Do you agree that if you count on all 10 fingers and thumbs you get to the number 10?

Ø How many football teams are there in the Big 10 Football Conference?

Ø Every one of My Dear Readers knows the answer because the football fans of you know because you are football fans and the non-football fans of you know because you just Googled It.

There Are 14 Football Teams In The Big Ten!

Above I accused these Universities of having a lack of understanding of Arithmetic, however, that is not right, is it? This is not Arithmetic. This is a lack of understanding of Basic Numbers. Sister Mary Berchman would have taken her Hand Whacking Ruler to the lot of them for sure!


Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 


Monday, March 04, 2024

Why Do People Do That?

The Internet Is Wonderful! It will explain everything to you. It will allow you to learn about whatever you want to learn about whenever you are ready to lean about it.

For example: If you are like me, I’m sure you have a strong desire to be like me, you have often wondered about this one...Why Do People Get Tattooed? Thanks to me, with the help of the Internet, you are about to find out Why People Get Tattooed...

People get tattoos for various reasons, such as for artistic, cosmetic, sentimental, religious or spiritual reasons, for family and to symbolize their belonging to or identification with particular groups, including criminal gangs or a particular ethnic group or law-abiding subculture. Tattoos can also be for attention, self-expression, artistic freedom, rebellion, a visual display of a personal narrative, reminders of spiritual/cultural traditions, sexual motivation, addiction, identification with a group or even drunken impulsiveness.

Have you ever seen a finer example of a waste of words? You can take your pick of any part of this explanation and think to yourself any one or all of these reasons to ignore what you just read and move onto some other endeavor where your time will be better spent...

Ø Who gives a chit!
i.e.: artistic freedom or identification with a particular ethnic group or rebellion.

Ø Huh?
i.e.: a visual display of a personal narrative or self-expression or cosmetic reasons.

Ø That’s stupid!
i.e.: for sentimental reasons or addiction or sexual motivation.

************

When I saw the last one Even Drunken Impulsiveness it made me harken back to my youth (are you tired of hearing about my youth?) ...

When we were young and we saw a man (in those days it was always a man) with a tattoo it mean 2 things...

Ø He used to be in the Navy.

Ø One night, while in the Navy, he got drunk.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: There was a time, after people looked at their tattooed selves and started to cry, I thought there was a fortune to be made in Tattoo Removal Parlors. As of now, I’m not so sure that will ever happen.


Tuesday, February 27, 2024

Enough Is Enough...Or is it?

     

(I could have titled this Blog Posting Gone With The Wind)

I hope you appreciate what I do for you. You don’t know what I do for you? What I do is stumble through the Internet and find useless but interesting information and I send it your way to brighten your day...Or is it brighten?

I stumbled across a celebrity (even though I never heard of her) who got divorced. The divorce got her $2.5 billion, plus an extra $100 million for 13 years. Unfortunately, she filed for bankruptcy in her 80’s.

In my younger days when I wanted to be sound clever, I was known to say, “The only thing money can’t buy is poverty”. Either George Burns or I invented this bit of cleverness.

George or I may have been clever but many years later, on at this this one occasion, we were proven wrong.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Saturday, February 24, 2024

You Can Never Be Too Safe...Or can you never be?

Ahh, what a wonderful sight! Can’t you just picture it in your mind’s eye (whatever that is)? Two loving parents holding their breath as they watch their darling child struggle to take its first step. In the future there will be millions more steps but this is historic. The is The Big One because this is The First One!

But wait! Something is amiss in your Minds’ Eye. Something’s not right! Ahh ha! I see it! Today’s ever-protective two loving parents have taken steps to protect their darling child from injury. They surrounded their child with protection. For fear of their child falling and bumping something or other, they have equipped their child with a Helmet for its Head, Palm Pads for its Palms, Elbow Pads for its Elbows and Knee Pads for its Knees.


That’s all well and good...Or is it?

The picture below is Modern Child Protective America going to even more extremes...

Seat Belts Have Made Their Way Into The Baby Changing Stations of America’s Men’s Rest Rooms!...


Are We Really Afraid Junior Is Going To Fall Up Then Out Then Down From Of A Baby Changing Station In A Baby Fall Out Proof Men’s Rest Room?

The answer is, Yes! ... But should we be so afraid?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: How long will it be before a Modern American Father, white as a sheet, is going to come rushing out of a Baby Fall Out Proof Men’s Rest Room crying out, “Call 911! I can’t undo the Baby Fall Out Prevention Protective Seat Belt and My Darling Child Is Beginning To Whimper!”

Friday, February 23, 2024

I've Never Done A Blog Posting Like This Before

 

I could not not give recognition to Mr. Anonymous for his Outstanding Commenting Effort to my Blog Posting of February 16, 2024 entitled Somebody Do Something. This was a Herculean Effort if I have ever seen one!

Here it is. Be advised this may bring tears of admiration to your eyes. I only hope it will challenge the rest of you to try to emulate Mr. Anonymous...

Anonymous said...

Are you really blaming the chairs for the company's demise? No joke that my company got rid of all chairs after our CEO read a blog post about how standing desks increase productivity by 35%. Now, everyone is more productive and focused, but worker’s compensation claims for lower back and foot problems are way up. The really bad part is that we had a co-worker in a wheelchair who had to write a memo asking that she be allowed to sit in their wheelchair. The CEO, reluctantly, granted the request, but our co-worker eventually left because she felt singled out when others complained that she wasn’t a 'team player'. The problem isn't the chairs; it's poor management and lack of accountability. Instead of blaming inanimate objects, focus on creating a productive work environment where employees are engaged and motivated. This post is a classic case of misdirected indignation!

I got all teared up all over again!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella