Please Help Me! I’m So Busy Writing Blogs About Foolishness I Don’t Have Time To Save Our Country.

I need you to get in Contact with the 2020 Presidential Candidates and get a message to them from Alexander Tyler.

 

Before I give you the message I am pleading with you to pass along, I need to make you aware of what the 2020 Presidential Candidates have been about while they have been going about the Campaign Trail telling us what they want to do for us...

Ø One of the Candidates wants to create a system that ensures Americans have an income of at least $1,000 a month.

Ø Another one of the Candidates wants there to be a universal basic income in the Good Ole USofA regardless of whether or not the Income Receiver works for the Basic Income.

Ø There is a Candidate who is proposing a plan that he calculates will provide $46,215 to every 18-year-old in the lowest income bracket by giving them annual subsidies in a federally managed savings account.

Ø Almost all the Candidates appear to be proposing Free College Tuition.

Ø Some of the Candidates have jumped on the giving of Reparations to Present Day Living People who had ancestors who suffered Discriminations while they were Long Ago Living People.

Ø All Candidates are not bothering to propose Free Phones because Free Phone is now in a category called Established Entitlement.

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Here is the Alexander Tyler Information...

At about the time our original 13 states adopted their new constitution, in the year 1787, Alexander Tyler was a Scottish history professor at The University of Edinburgh and he had this to say about "The Fall of The Athenian Republic" some 2,000 years prior.

"A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, (which is) always followed by a dictatorship." (Fella did the bolding and underlining above.)

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If Alexander was with us today, he would probably confess that he is saddened to see that he was so smart before he became an American...

“I take no joy is seeing how smart I was in 1787. My prediction is coming to pass with more vehemence than even I thought was possible. All of us in the Good Ole USofA are in a heap of trouble. I tried to warn ye but, instead of reading and heeding my plain spoken brilliance, ye chose to Tweet and Retweet Miscellaneous Trivial Foolishness”.

 

Would I kid ye?

Smartfella

First Time Ever! Our Federal Government Has Been Petitioned From Beyond The Grave...Part 2

This Blog Posting to Foolishness...Or Is It is now almost 6 years old. Because of the Zaniness that is our Congress, I have this irresistible urge to republish it...Or should I?

 

I know what I will do. I will add a Lagniappe onto it as a flimsy excuse to unleash it again. I hope you will forgive me for resorting to this trickery but the Continuing Craziness in Washington, and the fact that today is the old traditional date we celebrate Washington’s Birthday, demands I do this.

 

Smartfella

2/22/19

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General George Washington has petitioned the Congress to change the name of Washington D.C. to, "Anything else ye damn well please". 

He went on to say... 
     "I spent my life in service to this once great country and I no longer consider it an honor to have our capital named after me. 

    Besides, my cohorts up here in heaven have begun to laugh at me every time the word "Washington" is mentioned on the news shows down there. Since ye now have the 24 Hour News Cycle, the guffaws are never ending. 

    Sadly sleep is not needed up here. If we did sleep, I could get away from the ridicule for a wee bit. This being the case, the laughing and finger pointing never stops. 

    Benjamin Franklin is the worst!" 

Authorities are baffled at how Ole George went about communicating with our 2017 11% Approval Rated Congress. 

A Senate Committee will begin holding hearings next week to get to the root of this strange phenomenon. Committee Hearings are a sure way to get to the bottom of any issue of importance...Or are they? 

Would I kid u? 
Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: I have an idea! I recommend you change the name Washington D.C. to Franklin D.C.

This Blog Posting Is Not Written In Support Of Cruelty Being Perpetrated On The Livers Of Ducks And Geese

With the one exception of that Goose that bit my oldest daughter on her Stomach about 49 years ago, while she was happily feeding it, I like all other Ducks and Geese.

(Actually she was bitten on her Tummy because she was not old enough to have developed a Stomach yet.)

An excerpt from this article https://nypost.com/2019/02/03/state-bill-would-ban-foie-gras-in-new-york-for-animal-cruelty/ is below...

“New Yorkers will be saying ‘au revoir' to a popular, but controversial, French delicacy if a local legislator has her way.

A Manhattan legislator is pushing for a city ban on the sale of Foie Gras by restaurants and vendors on the basis of animal cruelty.

A New York Councilwoman told reporters that her bill proposing to make sale of the fattened-goose-liver pate criminal is ‘common sense’ because the Foie Gras production process is ‘egregious’ and has been wrongly ‘tolerated’ for ‘far too long’ in the Big Apple.

Violators would be guilty of a misdemeanor and face fines of up to $1,000 and a year in jail for each offense, if the proposal became law.”

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I am not advocating being mean to Ducks and Geese but many in the Good Ole USofA today say, I don’t use that product, so I don’t care what you do to the people that do use that product.

A good example of this way of thinking is those that say, “I don’t smoke, therefore, I am in favor of taxing the Devil out of Cigarettes because I won’t be paying the tax on those Taxed Cigarettes”.

Since most people do not eat Foie Gras, this law will probably be passed.

************************

Question to the Foie Gras Legislator: Does it bother you to know that in New York State a Goose or a Duck would have more protection from pain and suffering than an Unborn or a Just Born Human Baby?

Answer from the Foie Gras Legislator: What are you some kind of nitpicky person? Don’t you understand that an Unborn or a Just Born Human Baby does not have feathers?

Response from the questioner: You have a valid point there. I wonder why I never thought of that.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Some People Will Always Be Opposed To Whatever Is Proposed

When anything is proposed about anything the News Media will immediately come back with the contrary positions taken by Some People. The implication is, if Some People are not in favor of what has been proposed, we ought not to proceed with whatever has been proposed.

Of course there is opposition. There is always opposition. I’ll give you some examples from the pages of history...

Ø Normandy Invasion: General Eisenhower decided he wanted to have the Normandy Invasion at Normandy but Some People thought Eisenhower should not attack the Normandy Beachhead because it was such a pretty beach and an attack there would clutter it up.

Ø The Smartphone: Steve Jobs decided he wanted to invent the Smartphone but Some People thought Steve Jobs should not bother making the Smartphone because people were too busy playing Trivial Pursuit and they did not want to be interrupted.

Ø Hitler Killing Jews: President Roosevelt wanted to stop Hitler from killing all the Jews but Some People thought we should not try and stop Hitler from killing all the Jews because Hitler had promised that, once he had killed all the Jews, he would stop killing Jews.

I admit I made up these 3 examples and I apologize...Or did I?...Or do I?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Return With Me To Those Thrilling Days Of Yesteryear

I made up the made up bolded centered News Release below. Why did I make it up? You will have to and read this Blog Posting to find out. Trust me, it will make perfect sense...Or will it?

 

Amalgamated Widgets, Inc. has announced that it’s near and long term profit outlooks are bright. This positive forecast is directly related to actions taken by its management that have resulted in increased sales in all areas in which the company distributes and sells its New and Improved Widgets.

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That was then and this is now. This is how we Increase Profits and Sales Momentum in the Good Ole USofA today...

 

(I just took a moment out of creating this Blog Posting to look up the word “momentum” in order to help me understand what’s going on but it did not help.)

 

General Motors management has said its earnings are picking up speed, with added momentum (there’s that word again) due to come this year from Plant Closures and Job Cuts.

 

GM said further that its largest restructuring since its 2009 bankruptcy will have a Speedy Impact on its Bottom Line. The cuts to its North American operations should Boost Operating Profit in 2019 by nearly 20%, or by over $2 billion, with More Benefit Expected in 2020.

 

GM’s shares rose 7% to $37.17 after the above announcement.

 

GM management is currently focused on Cutting Costs and Improving Cash Flow to Sustain Strong Results (I started to look up “Strong Results” but decided against it because it might confuse me even more.) in the event the U.S. auto market cools, while still funneling money toward future bets on electric and self-driving vehicles.

 

GM’s restructuring includes Idling Five Factories in the U.S. and Canada this year, part of a plan that could Cut 14,000 Employees in route to slashing $6 billion in Annual Cash Costs by 2020.

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Man, am I Silly! As I was rising to the height of my Mediocre Automotive Career I thought we were supposed Concentrate on Building Quality Vehicles, Increasing Customer Loyalty by Treating Our Customers Right Before and After the Sale and Building a Strong Dealer Body that would work hand in hand with us to Develop a Customer Base that would Return Again and Again to their Dealerships for Repeat Vehicle Sales and its Companion Service and Parts Income.   

 

Now I find I was all wrong. If we had been concentrating on Closing Plants and Cutting Workers there is no telling how much money we could have made!

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

At First The Smart People Thought It Was An Unusually Severe Series Of Earthquakes But That’s Not What It Was

Seismologists all across the Northeast United States have been in a tizzy for the last week. Their Earthquake Detecting Machines (EDMs) have been shaking continuously 24/7 and the Seismologists have been sending out this dire warning to the good people of the entire Northeast to get the heck out of there:

Major earthquakes have been sweeping the Northeast United States for several days. What exactly is causing them is still undetermined.

In keeping with our ongoing policy of exercising an abundance of caution abundantly when we can’t explain what is abundantly not certain, we are recommending the immediate evacuation of the entire Northeast United States.

We do not think we are over exaggerating the dangers facing this part of our country.

Yes, we are saying Get the Hell Out Of Dodge and every other city, town, village, hamlet and nook and cranny from Virginia and Pennsylvania through Maine.

We will issue another News Release when it’s safe to return, if ever that day comes.

Fella is not one to jump onto the Overreaction Bandwagon. I did my own research into these strange happenings using my own EDM in my basement and I have found the real reason why these Non-Stop Apparent Earthquakes are happening.

 

Once you see what my research has come up with, you will be saying to your collective selves, “Of course, why did I not see that! I wish I were as smart as Fella!”

 

It’s the Scandalous Political Revelations in the State of Virginia that’s causing the ground to rumble as if there were actual earthquakes going on...and on...and on.

 

What’s actually happened is the craziness surrounding the Governor, the Lt. Governor and the State’s Attorney General has caused Virginia’s Founding Fathers (James Madison, Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, George Mason, John Jay, John Blair, James McClurg, Edmund Randolph, George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee and Patrick Henry) to Roll Over in Their Graves.

 

Just stop and think about it. That’s a lot of rolling!

 

The Wall Street Journal had an interesting commentary to make on February 8, 2019, “How can we continue looking down on Arkansas and Mississippi with this sort of stuff going on?”

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: To heap scandal upon scandal, I have also found out that Seismologist R Us have also been paid off by the Motel 6 Chain of Motels in the Midwest United States to issue the Evacuation Notice to the Northeast United States. This ruse has paid off handsomely for Motel 6 because every one of their Motels in the Mid-West has had to turn on their No Vacancy Sign (something not a single one of them has ever had to do before this Orchestrated Windfall).

Be Careful About Who You Hate

First I will give you a Wonderful News Update...

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

It Is Being Reported That Israeli Scientists Have Found a Cure for Cancer!!!

If a new report out of Israel turns out to be true, scientists in the Jewish state of Israel have discovered a cure for Cancer. And not just a cure for certain forms of cancer, but a complete cure for the deadly disease.

 

According to Dan Aridor, chairman of the board of Accelerated Evolution Biotechnologies Ltd. (AEBi) and CEO Dr. Ilan Morad, their treatment will not need time for the body to acculturate to it before it works. Aridor stated, “We believe we will offer in a year’s time a complete cure for cancer. … Our cancer cure will be effective from day one ... and will have no or minimal side-effects at a much lower cost than most other treatments on the market. Our solution will be both generic and personal.”

 

The treatment is called MuTaTo (multi-target toxin), and works much like antibiotics do in targeting bacteria. MuTaTo is based on SoAP technology, which works by finding, binding and removing bacteria by utilizing bacteriophage-derived proteins. Bacteriophages are viruses that infect bacteria.

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It continues to amaze me how the Late Paul Harvey shows up behind me at the most opportune moments. Yes, he is right behind me at this very moment telling me to tell all of you, The Rest of the Story...

 

The Israelis, in cooperation with the Late Dr. Leonard (Bones) McCoy of Star Trek fame (died of Stomach Cancer in 1999), have perfected Dr. McCoy’s little hand-held scanning device that will be used to scan any cancer ridden patient before this Miracle Cancer Cure is administered.

 

If the McCoy Scanner reveals the cancer-ridden patient hates all Jews and wants to see the State of Israel wiped off the face of the Earth, the Miracle Cancer Cure will only be effective on that patient for curing Toenail Fungus.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Quote from Dr. McCoy...”You see, I feel sorrier for you than I do for him, because you'll never know the things that love can drive a man to... the ecstasies, the miseries, the broken rules, the desperate chances, the glorious failures, and the glorious victories. All of these things you'll never know, simply because the word "love" isn't written into your book.”

Lagniappe Another: If you want to read one of the many article on the Internet about Israel’s Cancer Cure, click below...

https://www.dailywire.com/news/42759/still-want-boycott-israel-israeli-scientists-find-hank-berrien

 

 

I First Wrote About This Subject Almost A Decade Ago And I Am Pleased To Now See That The World Is Coming Around To My Way Of Thinking...Or Is It?

First I will give you the opportunity to read one of my Absolute Most Favorite Blog Postings (at present I have 716 Absolute Most Favorite Blog Postings).

 

Then I will list for you a series of News Articles Headlines from Today’s Internet which will show that the world has come around to my way of thinking.

 

The difference between my Silly Humorous Blog Posting and Today’s Headlines is the Headlines are Shouting Cautionary Warnings at you about the dangers of Social Networking while my Blog Posting is making you chuckle while Shouting Cautionary Warnings at you.

 

First my Humorous Blog Posting...

I Was Going To Find A Cure For All Forms Of Cancer

The smartest man who ever lived in the entire history of humankind on the face of the earth is about to publish an open email to every email address in the entire world. Since us knowledge seekers often seek the counsel of other knowledge seekers he first sent the email to me for proofreading and spell checking. He was so grateful to me for the misspelled word I found he gave me permission to publish his email, in its entirety, in Foolishness…Or Is It?

 

I bet you are excited! Here is the email…

At a very young age I came to the realization that I was, without a doubt, the smartest man who ever lived in the entire history of humankind on the face of the earth. I then quickly determined that what I wanted to do with my life was find a cure for all forms of cancer. I took out my calculator and quickly ascertained that it would take 7.45 years of dedicated hard work and research to accomplish this lofty goal. (I may have been a few months off in my 7.45 years estimate above but it was very close to the actual number because you should remember I am the smartest man who ever lived in the entire history of humankind on the face of the earth.)

 

I was three weeks into my Herculean Cancer Cure Task and was making great progress when I discovered Social Networking (Myspace, Twitter, Facebook, etc.). I was instantly captivated. I could not think of doing anything else with my life other than Social Networking.

 

During my Social Networking endeavors, I am proud to say that I have accomplished many Great Social Feats. Space limitations (and an irresistible compulsion to get back to my morning Twittering Regimen) prohibit me from bragging too much about my Social Accomplishments but here are a few…

Ø August 2, 2008 … I am sitting on my couch thinking about getting up to make myself a peanut and jelly sandwich.

Ø June 27, 2009 … I mailed the Social World the first in a series of pictures of myself eating a cinnamon and raisin bagel.

Ø January 8, 2010 … I laughed so hard that I had tears in my eyes after getting a picture of Alfonzo (an accountant from Bulgaria whom I have never met but am proud to say is one of my 21,376,412 Facebook Followers) sticking his tongue out at the camera while wearing a red clown nose ball on his left index finger.

 

I cannot tell you how Socially Fulfilling my life has been to this point. Each day is another pleasure to me. There are times I start to feel a twinge of regret for all those millions of people all over the Earth I could have saved from the debilitating effects, pain, suffering, financial ruin and death that cancer caused them but in life one must make choices and I chose Social Networking.

 

If any of you reading this email wants to send me your address, I will be more than glad to add you as a follower of mine on my Twitter Account.

 

Nothing could make me happier than to have you as a fellow Twit.

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Here are the Almost A Decade Late Shouting Cautionary Warning Headlines about the dangers of Social Networking...

Ø Does Quitting Social Media Make You Happier? Yes, Here's Why

Ø Why I Quit Social Media And What It Did! - YouTube

Ø It's Not Too Late To Quit Social Media - WSJ

Ø It's Not Too Late to Quit Social Media | TheLegalNews (repeats the WSJ Article)

Ø Too Bad To Be True: A Social Media Cautionary Tale

Ø Social Media Detox — Why Quitting Instagram And Facebook Made Me Happier

Ø Social Media Looks Like The New Opiate Of The Masses

Ø Want To Fight Hate? Quit Social Media.

Ø Regulate Social Media Platforms Before It’s Too Late

Ø 10 Reasons To QUIT Social Media NOW

Ø Why I Ditched Social Media And Never Looked Back

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: If you have not had enough of me for this day, here is a link to another blog of mine on this subject...

https://forii.blogspot.com/2014/10/staring-is-thing-of-past.html

The No Call In The Saints/Rams Game Last Sunday Has Been Wrapped Up With A $26,739 Pink Ribbon…Or Has It?

"Rams CB Nickell Robey-Coleman has been fined $26,739 by the NFL for a hit that wasn't flagged during the NFC Championship Game."

 

I know all of you are wondering how the National Foolishness League came up with the $26,739 fine.

 

I know the answer and I am more than happy to enlighten each of you...

He was fined $1 for each time, up until the moment the fine was announced, Roger Goodell had been asked, "Are you going to say anything?"

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

What Have They Done With My Wife?

Yes, I have touched on this before but they paid me no never mind (whatever that means).

Some may call this Progress...Or is it?

 

My wife is sitting right next to me in her La-Z-Boy Chair but she is not really there. In our modern Good Ole USofA she has become, “Someone Else”.

 

Are you confused? The same goes for me but I’ll try and explain...

 

Some say she has become a “Significant Other” but I reject that term. In my Old Fashioned mind I would consider this a demotion and I can’t recall her doing anything so terrible that would require her to be demoted.

 

I prefer “Spouse” (aka: Husband or Wife) but what I prefer appears to be unacceptable. Here is an excerpt from one of our Big Box Warehouses Membership Information Pages...

Memberships come with two cards. Share the price of it with a sibling or significant other or someone else in your household.

I may not be as Old Fashioned as I appear to be. Just to show how I can adapt to Modern “Thinking” I will accept that the fact that “Significant Other” is here to stay. Why can’t the Modern “Thinkers” allow “Spouse” to be stay also?

 

What’s wrong with this?...

Memberships come with two cards. Share the price of it with a sibling or significant other or your spouse.

Would that be so bad?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Marijuana Hall Of Fame

There is a Statue in the Marijuana Hall of Fame to the genius who came up with the term, “Medical Marijuana”.

 

I don’t know who he is but I think he probably had a Financial Interest in seeing his Stroke of Genius take hold in the Good Ole USofA.

 

Think about this picture...

There is this guy standing on a soapbox spewing out words of wisdom like this...

Ø Gluten is bad for you.

Ø Alcohol is bad for you.

Ø Fast Foods are bad for you.

Ø Smoking is bad for you.

Ø Smoking Marijuana is good for you.

 

In a sane world someone would run up and kick the soapbox from under his feet.

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I am not ready to admit I don’t know what I am talking about. However, I am a Doctor of Silliness. I may be playing with silly words but below is a quote from a real doctor who knows what he is talking about when it comes to Marijuana.

 

He is Dr. Peter B. Bach and he is a pulmonary physician at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York. He directs the Center for Health Policy and Outcomes and he hardly ever says silly things...

“Actual medicines have research behind them, enumerating their benefits, characterizing their harms, and ensuring the former supersedes the latter. Marijuana doesn’t. It’s a toxin, not a medicine. It impairs judgment and driving ability. It increases the risk of psychosis and schizophrenia. Smoking it damages the respiratory tract. A 2017 report from the National Academy of Medicine called the evidence for these harms “substantial.”

 

Claims that marijuana relieves pain may be true. But the clinical studies that have been done compare it with a placebo, not even a pain reliever like ibuprofen. That’s not the type of rigorous evaluation we pursue for medications. What’s more, every intoxicant would pass that sort of test because you don’t experience pain as acutely when you are high. If weed is a pain reliever, so is Budweiser.”

 

If you want to read the whole article about what Dr. Bach had to say on this subject, click here: https://www.wsj.com/articles/if-weed-is-medicine-so-is-budweiser-11547770981

 

Would a Pulmonary Physician kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe:

Question... Why did you smoke Medical Marijuana right before you went out for your Sunday Afternoon Drive?

Answer... I had pain and I know Medical Marijuana will relieve pain.

Question... Did it relieve your pain?

Answer... Yes, it was amazing, St. Peter, I was pain free right up until the very last moment before my car hit that tree.

The Border Wall/Fence/Barrier Will Always Be With Us

This is a repeat of a repeat.

September 30, 2022 First republished January 18, 2019 

This Silly Blog Is Always Current Because the Foolishness It Brings To Light Never Goes Away

This Blog Posting is approaching its 12^th 16^th Anniversary...

It Is Still As Current As It Was On the Day It Was First Published

That day was June 30, 2007. It’s about The Wall. The only thing that has changed is that back then it was called a “Fence” more than it was called a “Wall”. Now it is called a Wall or sometimes it is called a Fence or sometimes it is called a Barrier.

 

Watch today’s news and you will actually hear Members of Congress saying things like, “I unequivocally opposed to a Wall but I am willing to entertain the idea of a Barrier if it is constructed more akin to a Fence. In the past I have made it clear that I leaned more toward a Fence/Barrier but, due the changing demographics of the situation, I am more inclined to think that a Wall/Barrier that looks like Barrier/Fence is the way I am leaning since last Thursday. Actually I may have changed my set in stone position on this vital issue on Friday a week ago. No wait, it could not have been Friday because I have not worked on a Friday since that President (I forget his name) before President Reagan was in office. You know the one. He grew some kind of Nuts in that state he hailed from. Give me some help here. You know the state. It is the one next to Alabama...Or is it?”

 

The First Published Date Was SATURDAY, JUNE 30, 2007

Quick Border Fence

Wanna know how the Border Fence could be built in a heartbeat? It would be easy. Allow me to explain…

If the Mexican/U.S. Border were being crossed in huge numbers by Mexican Congressmen and Mexican Senators who were taking the positions in our Congress of our sitting Congressmen and Senators and our sitting Congressmen and Senators were losing their jobs, the Border Fence could be built darn near overnight.

Use your mind’s eye to picture with me for a moment...

Ø Members of Congress climbing all over the fence as it was being built.

Ø They are all sweaty but are refusing to take breaks as they work at a feverish pace.

Ø They all have Home Depot Aprons on their sweaty bodies.

Ø They have power tools in hand and other tools stored in their golf bags nearby ready for quick access.

Ø They have nails in their mouths ready for pounding.

Ø Dianne Feinstein is standing guard holding a Tommy Gun and has two 357 Magnum Pistols strapped to her hips.

Ø They are chanting, “Hell no, we won’t press one for English!”   

What a sight!
  
Would I kid u?  

Smartfella

 

They Are Trying To Confuse Us ... Part Next

You, my Dear Readers, are about to read all about why Fella will never run out of Ridiculousness to write Silly Blog Postings about...

Ø It has been announced that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex (aka: Harry and Meghan) will move to Frogmore Cottage in 2019. This proves that they over there are definitely trying to confuse us...
>This “Cottage” has 10 bedrooms.
>Can a 10 bedroom anything really be classified as a “Cottage”?
>A Cottage is, typically, a small house...Or is it?
>Maybe they should have said they were moving into a Rambling Cottage or a Gigantic Cottage or a Modest Castle.

Ø Mini Cooper is an automobile. It is called a “Mimi” because it is a small automobile. Recently they have been using this line in their advertising, “Our Biggest Mimi Yet!”
>This is like saying, “We sell Gigantic Mole Hills”.
>It makes advertising difficult... Come on in! We have a Huge Selection of Little Mini’s! Or... Our Mini Selection is Really Big. Or... Our Mini Cars May be Small but we Charge A lot!

Ø Recently I blogged about our Congress publishing Summary Documents (shorter than the original documents) and Expanded Summaries (which I feared would be longer than the original documents).

Ø A Minority is a Small Group of people within a Large Group of People. On several occasions I have seen discussions in the news about Significant Minorities. Yes, I know what they mean but it just makes me nervous that they do not know what they mean.

Ø Jumbo Shrimp...We have this bit of confusion thanks to George Carlin’s confusion over whether these were Large Shrimp or Small Jumbos.

Ø Miquela Sousa, who recently started gracing billboards from London to Japan is part of an Ugg Advertising Campaign...
>She ticks off all the boxes for the model of the moment because she is Exotic, Attractive and Huge on Instagram.
>She is also entirely Fake.
>She is actually (or should this be not actually?) a computer-generated character who—despite what she says on Instagram—can’t feel the pain of a hangover or appreciate how hard it is to walk in stilettos.
>Miquela is a test of the power of a Social-Media Celebrity.
>Currently Miquela has 1.5 million Instagram Followers.
>It sort of like that brilliant thinker from our past, Arislato, who said, “I know not what the future will bring but there are 2 things I know for sure will never happen. One is Alabama will never lose any game by 4 Touchdowns and the other is the World will never be Foolish enough to fall for a Social-Media Celebrity that does not actually exist because we all know Absurdity when we see it!”...Or does we?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Supposedly Smart People Saying Stupid Things

I have mentioned to my Dear Readers (I hope that’s you) before that I have a folder in my computer entitled “New In Process”. Whenever I Notice something Interesting or Useful or Silly that could be used for a future Blog Posting, I put that something into this folder and I get around to it when I get around to it.

 

Many times I put an idea into the “New In Process” folder and then forget about it because I am continually being presented with new Goofiness that jumps ahead of Absurdities already in the folder.

 

Today there are 298 blog ideas in this folder. The oldest one went into the folder on 2/22/12. Today is that Silly Idea’s day to become a Blog Posting. I know you and the idea are very excited about this...Or are you and it?

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Some of us will never get to be quoted in the Newspapers. It could be that we are not as smart as the people who are actually being quoted in the Newspapers. The News Reporters simply don’t need us because they are smart people and they already have other smart people saying smart things in sufficient quantity for them to fill up their Newspapers with Smart Quotes...Or are they Smart Quotes?

 

Here are some Smart Quotes that made it into my newspaper ahead of what you and I might have wanted to say...

 

Ø A Smart Quote That Made the News...“I have talked with many Tea Party Supporters and they all say they want anyone but Romney, at least some of them do.”
The Smartfella’s Comments About this Smart Quote...Does it make sense to say “they all say” in the same sentence as “at least some of them do”?

 

Ø A Smart Quote That Made the News...”A body was found in 2 different places 5 miles apart and we are treating this as a murder case”.
The Smartfella’s Comments About this Smart Quote...What are the chances that a non-murdering person would come across a murdered body and decide to cut that dead body into 2 pieces and transport the cut apart part 5 miles away?

Ø A Smart Quote That Made the News...There was a scare that there was going to be another shooting on Virginia Tech’s Campus and a Smart Person was quoted as saying, “Virginia Tech has had their Fair Share of shootings.”
The Smartfella’s Comments About this Smart Quote... I did not know we were in the habit of passing out shares of such things. To quibble about this a bit further, would not a fair share of such things actually be an unfair share of such things?

Ø A Smart Quote That Made the News...Syria has been killing its people in bunches for a year now and a U.S. official said, “We don’t want to take actions that would contribute to the further militarization of Syria because that could take the country down a dangerous path”.
The Smartfella’s Comments About this Smart Quote...It is now 2019 and I can say with great confidence that we can check off the prediction boxes labeled “Further Militarization of Syria” and “Dangerous Path”.
This kind of thing happens all the time in the Middle East...Someone says to a Middle East Extremist, “Why are you so determined to kill that guy drinking coffee over there? He looks just like you.”
After asking this perfectly logical question you get the indignant response, “Do you know nothing about history? Do you not know what his people did to my people in the year 1277?”

 

Yea, I know I am being picky again. These people had a microphone in their faces and were under great pressure to say something smart and I’m sitting in front of my computer pecking out logic and common sense.

 

It may not be fair but that’s what I have to say about what they had to say.

 

Would I kid u?

Here I Go Being Picky Again

Mitt Romney made a statement that does not make sense and I appear to be the only person to have taken notice.

 

I will post the link to the article that contains this nonsensical quote at the end of this commentary so you can read the article for yourself and know that I did not Misquote, Misconstrue and/or Completely Lie about what Romney said.

 

Here is the quote...

”Romney was pressed further about why he accepted Trump’s endorsement in 2012 despite Trump's contentions that Barack Obama hadn't been born in the U.S.

“I’m sure I’ve made a lot of mistakes, I’ll let the people make the assessment on which things were mistakes and not. But when the president of the United States, frankly of either party, were to say, ‘I’m endorsing your candidacy,’ I think you’d say, 'Thank you very much.'”

Here comes picky me being picky... Remember the question was about Romney’s Run For President in 2012 and he said, “But when the president of the United States, frankly of either party, were to say, ‘I’m endorsing your candidacy,’ I think you’d say, 'Thank you very much.'”

President Trump was not the president in 2012!

I guess Romney was just ahead of his time...Or was he?

 

If you want to check me out, here is the link: https://www.foxnews.com/politics/romney-answering-critics-says-country-is-as-divided-as-ever-since-trump-presidency

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

It’s Not My Fault. First I Notice And The Notice Causes Me To Quibble.

I saw this headline on the Internet a couple of days ago…New Congress in 2019: 5 things to watch as lawmakers go back to work.

My Quibble is the use of the phrase “back to work”. I don’t accept the contention that they have been working...Unless you count: Recess, Home Work Period, Vacation, August Break, Holiday Break (formerly known as Christmas Break) or Happy Hour.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Capping Your Hands Is In

I’m not sure how this got started nor am I sure who started it but have you noticed how Celebrities and Politicians are always Clapping At Us?

Politicians...After a politician is introduced, they walk onto the stage Clapping. Should they not wait until they have done something Clap Worthy before they start Clapping? Maybe they have a deep seated need to be Clapped At, and if they waited until they deserved to be Clapped At, they might never be Clapped At so they get the Clapping started right from the get go.

North Koreans...All those look alike North Koreans are really good at Clapping. Their little leader certainly seems to be always Clapping. Maybe it’s because, if they don’t Clap when their little leader Claps, they will get into deep trouble. Imagine how many heads would roll if he walked out Clapping and looked around to see that he was the only Clapper Clapping.

The Middle East...In the Middle East they have a strong incentive to Clap when their leader Claps because, if they don’t, they get to have their Clappers Chopped Off.

Celebrities...Oprah may be the one who started all this Clapping. It could be because she has a deep seated sense of insecurity about what an Oprah does. She does not Sing. She does not Dance. She does not Juggle Bowling Pins. She does Clap and, you have to admit, she is a very good Clapper.

I performed an experiment a few months back that resulted in many of you Dear Readers breaking into Applause at the conclusion of one of my Blog Postings.

It did not work out so well for me because it got me into hot water with the Commissioner of Blogging in Washington, D.C. He Clapped a fine on me saying I was guilty of Blog Falsification because I signed that Blog Posting “Oprah” instead of “Smartfella” and, before you guys knew what you were doing, you had started Clapping.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella