What’s Sillier The Petition Or The Answer To The Petition?

Our present White House has established the We the People Petition Process. It is supposed to give all Americans a way to engage their government on the issues that matter to them.

It sounds worthwhile. It sounds noble. It sounds like it is the kind of thing that would make our Founding Fathers proud...Or would it?

After a certain number of signatures are received, administration people are assigned to write up a formal response. These assigned responders are either very angry to have to waste their time writing these responses or are having a hard time keeping from laughing as they try to make their response letter sound as if they really think the petitioners are not idiots.

There have now been enough petitions that are downright silly that we ought to cancel this Foolishness and, as Bill Clinton, was want to say, “Get on with the work of the American people”.

Some of the petitions are so foolish that even the Smartfella would have no part of them...

• Let El Paso secede from Texas and become part of New Mexico.
• Ask Governor Jerry Brown to Give California Ferret Owners a Fair Hearing.
• Deport everyone that signed a petition to secede.
• Let Atlanta secede from Georgia if Georgia secedes from the United States.

If the above are not enough evidence for the need to cancel this program, try this one on for size...

Star Wars Geeks have asked the Obama Administration to build a Death Star

The Death Star petitioners argued the project would create jobs and strengthen national defense.

The head of the White House Budget Office’s Science and Space Branch had to respond on behalf of the White House. For the love of heaven I hope this man had better things to do than peck out the White House’s Official Position on this silliness.

Here are some of the things he had to say...

• The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn’t on the horizon.
• The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
• The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost $850,000,000,000,000,000. We are working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.

Heck if I knew how to say all these zeros in words but I did hear on the radio that $850,000,000,000,000,000 is called 850 Quadrillion Dollars.

I wonder if China has 850 Quadrillion Dollars lying around that they could loan us?

Would I kid u?

Technorati Tags: We The People Petitions,Death Star

One More Won’t Hurt

Are you aware that if you only add one to anything over and over you will eventually end up with a whole bunch of some things?

Every time a New Regulation is created we lose our right to do something or are required to do some other thing that we might not want to do.

If there were only about 10 Regulations levied on us we could put them on a 3X5 Index Card, have it laminated and keep it in our collective pockets in order to stay on top of what we are required to do and not do.

The problem is we have to keep track of a lot more than 10 regulations. Of special interest is the State of California where 876 New Mandates went into effect on the same day last week.

How many mandates Californians actually have I do not know but I would bet they would never fit on a 3X5 Index Card.

This is actually not important because the California Legislature is a very forward thinking bunch. Years ago they passed a mandate that stipulated that 3X5 Inch Index Cards must be bigger than 3X5 Inches.

Whatever the total number of California mandates is they now have 876 more to keep track of as they go about their never-ending daily quest of trying to be Kool.

You just said to yourself that you think I am over reacting again. The thought probably just crossed your mind that every one of these 876 New Mandates is probably worthwhile.

If you really think so, I ask you to read the details below of just two of these new mandates and see what you think about their worthwhileness...

------------------------

Californians Can No Longer Hunt Bears with Trained Dogs...

Since I am always logical, this must, of course, mean that it is OK to hunt bears with Untrained Dogs.

Can you just imagine how many Forest Rangers Disguised as Bushes are going to have to be stationed throughout the Golden State to catch hunters who are using Trained Dogs?

The suspected offending dogs will have to be tested on the spot to determine whether they are trained or not. Just what the testing procedure is going to be is now in the hands of the Regulators. When they come out with their new set of Trained Doggie Determination Testing Procedures I will write a Foolishness...Or Is It to help you understand this new silliness. Check back with me later.

I have one final point I wish to bring up that the California Legislators did not foresee. Can you imagine how many Forest Rangers Disguised as Bushes are going to be eaten by bears once this mandate is fully implemented?

You never thought of this, did you? I can assure you that the California Department of Bear and Dog Interaction did not think of this factor either but, once they do, they will certainly implement a bunch of regulations.

I sure hope the bears are able to read the regulations that they are going to be required to abide by.

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I wish to apologize to you for the length of this posting but these are important issues that you need to know about.

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Limited Parking Next To Broken Parking Meters...

In California it is now against the law to park next to a Broken Parking Meter for more time than you could park next to the Broken Parking Meter if the Broken Parking Meter were not a Broken Parking Meter.

Stop and think about enforcement of this mandate. How are the enforcers of this regulation going to know how long the offending Californian has been parked next to the Broken Parking Meter?

Are they all going to be issued Stop Watches to catch the “offenders”. Are the police really going to stand there waiting for the hours to tick by before they write the ticket?

Once the standing by and the watching has started, will they have to finish the standing and the watching before they can go on to other transgressions of the law that might happen around them?

Criminals have proven long ago that they are resourceful. These bad guys will probably start robbing banks, mugging Californians, jay walking, carjacking with impunity all around the Standing and Watching Policeman knowing that the Long Arm of the Law is busy and, is therefore, powerless to stop them.

I have an idea for California. (I always have thoughts on how to fix the pressing problems of the day)...

Why not just fix the broken parking meters?

Would I kid u?

Technorati Tags: Parking Meters,California Regulations,California Mandates,876 New California Mandates,Trained Dogs

John Wayne Is Still Dead

(May 4, 2017…This is an old posting that I am experimenting with. I am modifying it to see if I can reinsert the pictures that disappeared from it back into it. The bottom line is you should ignore it. On the other hand, you can read it again because it is still interesting and still sad.)

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Sometimes I hear you saying out there that I do not know what I am talking about. I find that hard to believe but I am a realist.

On June 21, 2012 I blogged the posting reproduced below. After you read this enlightened bit of Foolishness you will see three pictures from my newspaper this morning that, without any further words, proves that I am a Smartfella.

Here is the posting...

Thursday, June 21, 2012

John Wayne Is Dead

This Blog Posting is coming to you from one of my Ruts (I’ve blogged about this before). The Rut under discussion here is the Feminization of Men.

 

We once had John Wayne to lead us. Now we are the stupid one in television commercials, our “heroes” in movies have to always have a three day growth of beard (so we will be sure they are males) and we are told that we ought to carry Man Bags (used to be called purses) to hold our stuff.

I will now bring this Foolishness…Or Is It? Rant to an abrupt end and use pictures to prove my point. Below you will find three pictures from a recent four day Fashion Event in London.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, these three pictures shout from the rooftops...

Case Closed...Point Proven...End of Discussion

It is not possible to picture John Wayne in one of these outfits.

I wish I were kidding you.

Here are today’s pictures...

Would I kid u?

All This Time Congress Has Had It Backwards

In our heart of hearts we all know that all of our elected members of Congress are completely honest, intelligent and strive every single day to do the right thing. Up until now their problem was they did not know which thing was the right thing.

In the past we have heard them referred to as Tax & Spenders. This was definitely not intended to be a compliment. However, it did not seem to bother them at all. Many times it seemed to spur them on to greater heights of Taxing & Spending. To us folks back home, this became a very taxing situation.

Times are a changing in our 14% Approval Rated Congress. These guys are nothing if they are not conscientious! They are always thinking of new ways to serve.

Effective with this new congress, Tax & Spend is a thing of the past. From now on it is going to be... Spend & Tax. This Make-It-Happen-Bunch is going to do what's best for us No Matter What the Cost and then they are going to tell us what our taxes are going to be...Retroactively.

Their New Motto has already been embroidered on their new Congressional Blazers...

We Know What’s Best!

I don't want to speak for the rest of you but this makes me feel good all over. As usual some of the Folks Back Home are questioning this Spend and Tax Policy (STP). The murmuring (once called chatter but now called twittering) by these folks caused Senator Foghorn to take to the floor to express his amazement...

“Mr. Chairman, I rise to express my complete befuddlement as to why some Folks can’t see the absolute logic of our new Spend and Tax Policy.

Just last night at Happy Hour, I and my colleagues were commenting how our Founding Fathers erred in allowing such people to be able to vote. We were elected to spend their money! We take this responsibility very seriously.

If I could remember which state I was elected from, I would head right back there and give them a piece of my mind.

It is perfectly logical that there is no way to know how much money we have spent until we have spent it. We all have known for a while now that budgeting is a thing of the past. We are now boldly going where no Congress has gone before into the Era of Retroactive Budgeting.

My only question to you, Mr. Chairman, is, why did it take us so long to progress to where we are now?

I ask for unanimous consent that we ignore these millions of malcontents back home and go to Happy Hour. Olives surrounded by gin are a beautiful sight to behold.”

Would I kid u?

Technorati Tags: Tax and Spend,Budeting

Perfecting Packaging

Getting into the Plastic Packaging which contains the stuff we buy causes many a cuss word to be uttered...

• We tug. This never works.
• We bang. This never works.
• We chop. This sometimes works but is entirely dependent on how big an implement we chop with. With things like meat cleavers extreme caution must be exercised on the down stroke to make sure we do not destroy the item we went all the way to the store to acquire.
• There are even special tools for opening such packaging that are sold in hardware stores and online. They really work but they do have the shortcoming of our needing the tool that is inside the packaging for opening the packaging containing the tool which we can’t open.

I never realized how much the people that create these packages are dedicated to their product until yesterday. I had finally succeeded in opening a maddening plastic package and was feeling flushed with success when I started hearing a recorded message coming from the destroyed packaging itself. It seems there was a computer chip embedded inside the packaging and, when I lifted my electronic thingy out of its molded plastic bedding, the computer chip was activated.

Some of you already know that the Smartfella has a photographic memory and here is exactly what the recorded message said to me...

“We at Acme Packaging take great pride in our craftsmanship. We are disappointed that you have actually succeeded in breaking through our Display Containment Packaging. You are obviously a highly skilled and determined consumer. Please take the time to complete our Consumer Survey. This will go a long way in assisting us in future package development. Always remember, we take our motto very seriously, No one gets inside anything we make!”

We need to know the answers to these important questions...

• How long did it take you to break into our packaging and retrieve your purchased product?
• What tools did you utilize?
  >Fingernails? (If so, how many did you break?)
  >Teeth? (If so, how many did you break?)
  >Did you utter cuss words? (If so, how many?)
  >Scissors? If so, we are obligated to inform you that use of scissors on our packaging is a violation of Federal Law. (Does this not tell you how strong our lobbyists are?) Your scissors violation will be held in strictest confident and we will not turn you in to the Feds.

We are making available to the buying public our Packaging Penetrator for only $14.99. For a $35 Surcharge we will ship the Packaging Penetrator to you unpackaged so that it may actually be of use to you.

Would I kid u?

Technorati Tags: Difficult to open packaging

Political Atrocity Right Before My Unbelieving Eyes

At this very moment our elected “leaders” in congress are debating the...

Fiscal Cliff Stop Gap Kick the Can Down the Road the Devil (those Rascals on the Other Side Of The Aisle) Made Me Do It Bill

I hope that, no matter what your political leanings are, you are as ashamed of this fiasco as I am.

I do not care if the end result of all this Foolishness in Congress tonight results in the finest piece of legislation in the history of the Good Ole USofA, the process stinks!

To ignore important legislation, Over and Over, and not take the issues up until the Very Last Minute (this time we even went over the very last minute) Stinks!

We are broken and I am not kidding u.

Technorati Tags: Fiscal Cliff,Fiscal Cliff Legislation,Fiscal Cliff Debate

Congress Has Three “Talents”

The Jesuits taught me only God can Create. The Jesuits were wrong. Our 9% approval rating Congress is Creating Problems all the time.

Then they campaign against the problems they created.

Here are a few examples...

Problem: The rich do not pay their fair share of taxes.

Fix: The Alternative Minimum Tax.

New Problem: The AMT first started in 1969 but the present form for the AMT was set up in 1982. In either form it has been confusing all of us from the get go.

There is no such thing as an AMT Expert. If you ever find one and get him to give you his interpretation of the AMT and then ask another AMT Expert about the first Experts Opinion and he will tell you that the First Expert’s Opinion is wrong. The First AMT Expert will tell you that the Second AMT Expert is all wet. Neither one looks real confident that he is right and the other is wrong.

A major flaw in the AMT is that Congress did not index it for inflation, therefore, it has long been hitting the Middle Class because they are being re-classified as “rich”.

Congress has moved on from the old “Fix” for the Rich Not Paying Their Fair Share (the AMT) and is now in a pickle about the Rich Not Paying Their Fair Share all over again.

They are working on a new “Fix”. Heaven help us.

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Problem: Congress tries to “fix” everything by spending more money than they take in.

Fix: Borrow money to “take in” more money.

New Problem: Interest on the money they borrow is preventing them from “fixing” everything.

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Problem: The economy need to be stimulated.

Fix: Lower taxes to stimulate the economy.

New Problem: By putting an end to the lowered taxes, Congress causes the economy to languish because of the uncertainty created because the taxes to stimulate the economy may come to an end because Congress set them up to come to an end from the beginning.

If Congress decides to lower taxes (Bush Tax Cuts), they should do just that... Pass A Law To Lower Taxes.

If it is later decided by our “leaders” in Congress that we need to raise taxes, then they should go through the complicated process (yes, it ought to be complicated) of raising taxes...Propose it, Justify it, Discuss it, Modify it, Expose it to the folks back home and then Pass A Law To Raise Taxes.

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Problem: Influential people are angry about having to pay taxes.

Fix: Congress puts loopholes into the Tax Code.

New Problem: Influential taxpayers use the loopholes and Congress acts horrified that people are using the loopholes that Congress made for them to use.

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Problem: Congress is silly.

Fix: If Congress read my Blog they would understand how silly they are and become ashamed of themselves and then they would stop being silly.

Ongoing Problem: Congress does not read my Blog.

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The Subject of this Blog Posting toyed with you about what Congress is really good at doing. The full list is...

Creating Problems

Spending Money to Buy Votes

Kicking Cans Down the Road

Are you wondering about what problems your elected representatives are working on for the future? To stay informed all you have to do is watch CSPAN.

Would I kid u?

Technorati Tags: Alternative Minimum Tax,AMT,Loopholes

Winter Storms…Again

Our 24/7 News Media has taken notice that it is Winter and they will not stop talking about it.

It happens every year and still they always seem surprised.

Would I kid u?

Technorati Tags: Winter Storms

Have You Noticed?

Have you noticed that each year we hear more and more on TV, on Radio and in the Movies about how difficult it is to get together with Family Members during the Holidays? I don’t know what they (whoever “they” are) are talking about.

If they are not simply trying to be funny, I feel sorry for them (“them” is “they”) if they really feel this way about their own Families.

I also regret that this trend got started in the first place. It is going to be hard to keep the children of the future from being influenced, since they will be exposed to this attack on the family every year as they grow up.

There you go again thinking I am overreacting about ongoing and growing movements. Allow me to make my point by illustrating what is ongoing and growing about the annual Attack on Christmas...

• For years now we have been witness to attacks on anything having to do with Christmas including…Manger Scenes and saying “Merry Christmas”.
• They started off with saying such things as these happenings offended them.
• Then they moved on to they felt threatened by these Christmassy Things.
• “Threatened?” These mental midgets need to experience a bad guy pulling a gun on them outside Wal-Mart and demanding their money. That’s what “threatened” means.

The first time it all happened we thought, “What are they talking about?”

Now we have slid right past surprise and confusion and we are analyzing why they are so uncomfortable, having panel discussions about the merits of their arguments and (you guessed it) disassembling Manger Scenes.

If I did not fully understand that we are losing this battle, a recent Talking Head’s Comments demonstrated to me how full our retreat is. The unnamed person is well respected, well known and the folks back home pay attention when she speaks. The Smartfella paid attention with his mouth wide open when she spoke these words...

The problem with the Holiday Season is there is too much religion in it. If we could only get this religious influence out of it, we would enjoy the Holidays much more.

Oh well, that’s progress...Or is it?

Would I kid u?

Technorati Tags: Christmas,Manger Scenes,Holidays

Everybody Today Is Smart ... Or are they?

The up and coming generation must be smart because they are all going to College.

Here is the gist of an article I read in my newspaper recently...

A California couple lured a handyman to their house and then kidnapped him for 6 hours while they forced him to work on their dish washer & other appliances.

Is this the tip of the Iceberg? Are we starting to run out of Butchers, Bakers and Candlestick Makers? It seems all of our young people are becoming Brain Surgeons, Rocket Scientists and, heaven forbid, Lawyers.

Who is going to fix things in the future?

My Father had 6 siblings and none went to college but all supported their families well. They did such things as Graphic Artist, Inventor, Grocer, Another Grocer, Married a Rich Guy (who did not go to college), a Factory Worker of some kind and a Food Caterer.

My Brother was the first of the next generation to go to college. Even then only 3 or 4 of 14 of that generation went to college

Now is seems like everybody goes to college. If this trend continues, who is going to Cut our Meat into Steaks, Bake our Bread into Loves and Make Our Wax into Candlesticks?

I’m really not that worried about the Candlesticks because candlesticks are many times really Butane Lighters hidden inside what looks like a Candlestick.

On the other hand, who is going to assemble the Butane Lighters and make the thingy that looks like a Candlestick?

I guess that’s why our Federal Government invented China. It’s going to be a long time before they all go to college.

I just did a lot of research into this Impending Disaster and found out I have been wasting your time. This issue is not an issue that we really need be concerned about because our Butchers, Bakers and Candlestick Makers are going to come from the ranks of our College Freshman. There is not going to be a shortage after all.

The reality of our modern American Institutions of Higher Learning influx and out flux of Freshmen actually functions as follows...

• They enroll full of anticipation to become something really smart.
• The first night in college they go to a party.
• The next night they go to another party.
• They quickly learn that all those books their parents paid for are great for sitting on so they can be seen at the bar by the bartender when they are ready for the next round of whatever they are practicing their drinking with.
• This pattern continues to perfect itself until they are really Accomplished Drinkers.

Do you get my drift? A very high percentage of College Freshmen do not become College Sophomores. What they become are Butchers, Bakers and Candlestick Makers. They do not all become Brain Surgeons, Rocket Scientists and, thank heaven, Lawyers.

All is right with the world after all.

Would I kid u?

Technorati Tags: College Freshmen,Handymen,Butchers,Bakers,Candlestick Makers,Brain Surgeons,Rocket Scientists,Lawyers

I Am Sitting Here Pecking Out This Posting While Waiting For My Heart To Attack Me

Today is the day our Mayan Friends told us was going to be the end of the world. I took them to heart because, up until now, I have never had a Mayan lie to me. I acted on their forecast and had a wonderful breakfast.

I have said to myself many times, “Self, if you are ever told that you don’t have long to live, go to the Bacon Grease”. I did just that. I had a breakfast of Five Eggs Cooked in Bacon Grease. It was wonderful!

What really drove me to the Bacon Grease was an unconfirmed report from an anonymous source that said that Sasquatch had confirmed the rumors about the world ending today.

Sasquatch has never lied to me before either. Wow! That’s two people I have always trusted sending me a bum steer in close proximity one to the other!

The final blow is going to be if I find out that the 24 Hours News Cycle was somehow involved in this hoax. Everyone knows it always tells us the truth.

I have to stop now. I think my heart is starting to twitch a bit.

Would I kid u?

Technorati Tags: Mayan,Mayans,End of the world,Sasquatch

Thanks To The Magic Of Modern Electronic Gadgetry The World Is Coming Around To My Way Of Thinking

During the Thanksgiving Hysteria we just went through I read an article about families that could not have their respective grandmothers with them for Thanksgiving but they had their respective grandmothers them with them for Thanksgiving.

Wow that was a long awkward sentence! Well, at least it made sense. What’s that you just said? Did you just say it did not make sense? Let me try again through the Magic of Bullet Points...

• This year some families found it was impossible to get their grandmas from across the country to be with them at the Thanksgiving Dinner Table.
• To remedy this sad situation, they resorted to the Wonders of Modern Electronics to have grandma join them for the big meal.
• They set up a Laptop Computer where grandma would normally sit.
• They then used Skype Software to have their grandma’s face and voice there with them while they ate.

They were so pleased with themselves that they did not notice that grandma was doing her best to look like she was tickled pink to be eating a grilled cheese sandwich while they all committed sins of gluttony.

In the Subject of this Foolishness...Or Is It? I said the world was coming around to my way of thinking. I said this because I posted a blog on November 26, 2009 which brushed right up against the idea of Skypeing Grandma for Holidays. Chick below to see how forward thinking the Smartfella is...

http://forii.blogspot.com/2009/11/grandmanearyoucom.html

Would I kid u?

Technorati Tags: Skype,Thanksgiving

We Owe A Lot To The Talking Head Industry

Because of the hard work of our News Media’s Talking Heads we do not have to think. They report to us every day about what is going on in the world. They analyze the happenings for us. They tell us what it all means. All we need do is sit on our couches and sip something sippable and let them feed our world to us. (I know “sippable” is not a word but don’t you think it fits into my Foolishness rather well?)

Did I mention they are smart? Actually that’s the best part. We do not have to think because they are so intelligent...Or are they?

Look at these five pictures of the country of Syria today and then the Smartfella will feed you closing comments after the pictures...

Now enter the Talking Head that did such a very good job of educating me yesterday. Here is what he said which conclusively demonstrates his extreme intelligence…

He said the Syrian conflict has been going on since March 11, 2011 and is showing signs of turning into a Civil War.

I guess up until now it has to be classified as an Argument. If it turns into a Civil War, it could become serious and then somebody might get hurt.

Now you understand why the Talking Head who “educated” me yesterday looked so concerned.

In order to drag this Posting on longer than is necessary, allow me to peck out this further bit of Foolishness...

This squabble in Syria has been called...

• The Syrian Uprising
• An Ongoing Armed Conflict
• An Armed Rebellion
• An Uprising Of Armed Terrorist Groups and Foreign Mercenaries
• A Non-International Armed Conflict

I don’t know about you but I prefer any one of these descriptions because they don’t sound near as dangerous as a Civil War.

Would I kid u?

Technorati Tags: Syria,Talking Heads,Civil War

We Need The Federal Government Because We Can Depend On The Federal Government To Get Things Done Right And On Time... Or can they?

I quote from USA Today...

“11:46PM EST November 5. 2012 - Seventeen months have passed since the Department of Homeland Security announced it would create an internal civil rights review of the Obama administration's signature immigration enforcement program, but now department officials cannot say when, or if, they will complete it.”

Note the use of the phrase,

“Obama administration's signature immigration enforcement program”

Now I ask you, if our Crack Bureaucracy can’t get our President’s Signature Program put together, what do you think are your chances of them getting around to Your Signature Program?

Would I kid u?

Technorati Tags: Homeland Security,Immigration Enforcement Program

The Three Wise Men Are At It Again

Much to their surprise the Three Wise Men have been resurrected from the dead put back on their camels and sent out to find a Fourth Wise Man.

Needless to say this confused them to no end but long ago they proved that they do as they are told (when God is the one doing the telling).

However, they again proved why they were originally given the designation of Wise Men right from the get-go. They traded in their camels for a Lexus and set off on their trek.

Their first destination was to a place they had been hearing for a long time which supposedly had all the answers...Hollywood. (Yes, they did have the ability to hear while they were dead.) They stayed there for two full weeks. They observed such things as...

• Guys with earrings in jewelry stores buying bobbles for their current wife and/or their boyfriends.
• Lots of chase scenes where they observed dozens of cars which rolled over instead of going crunch when they ran into other cars.
• “Stars” posing over their Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame right after they had completed their first movie. (They commented to each other that they now understood why Clark Gable, Gary Cooper and Tyrone Power were always turning over in their graves.)

They are nothing if they are not persistent. They began driving across the country and stopped in at various State Capitals as they went. They made sure to stop in on Sacramento, CA and Springfield, IL but were bitterly disappointed.

Somewhere around Ohio they saw a Talking Head on CNN talking his head about the wonderful things that were happening in Washington, DC and they stepped on the accelerator.

When they got to Washington’s City Limits they were surprised to find a Welcome Sign that had the following directive written on it...

Anyone Seeking Entrance Must First Deposit Any Part of Their Brain That Controls Logical Thinking (Most Especially Any Part That Has the Slightest Effect on Common Sense) into the Bottomless Pit

A neon flashing arrow pointed to an Outhouse alongside the Interstate. They had no intention of complying with the sign’s directive but they have always been a curious lot, so they went in.

They squeezed into the Outhouse and peered down into the Bottomless Pit with their lanterns. The newly elected Congressmen standing in line closest to the outhouse heard them say to each other in unison.

“By Golly, the Bottomless Pit is almost full!”

The cross I have to bear is the fact that some of you think I made this whole story up.

Would I kid u?

Technorati Tags: Wise Men,Common Sense,Hollywood

Social Security Is Running Out Of Money...Or Is It?

Social Security Is Running Out Of Money. The Last Thing We Ought To Do Is Take Money Out Of Social Security.

This Foolishness...Or Is It? could end right here. The above is a statement of fact and no one could argue with it...Or could they?

Have you heard about the Payroll Tax Holiday? This “holiday”, which is reducing money going into Social Security, was first proposed by Republicans and the Democrats gladly climbed on board.

Does this sound like Foolishness?...It sure does!

Now that I have slammed your elected representatives and tried to destroy your heretofore unquestioned faith in their wisdom, I need to attempt to restore your confidence in them...

Your Congress Took the Money Out but They Did Not Take the Money Out Because They Replaced the Money They Took Out with Money from the General Fund of the U.S. Treasury Department

Now that I have restored your heretofore unquestioned faith in their wisdom, I need to tell you how stupid they are...

The General Fund of the U.S. Treasury Department Does Not Have This Replacement Money So Your Congress Is Either Printing the Money or Borrowing It From China

Please do not add a comment to this blog posting telling me that you think this makes it all better.

Would I kid u?

Technorati Tags: Social Security System,Payroll Tax Holiday

How To Catch A Thief

I read recently where a bad guy in Austria stole 18 Tons of Chocolate.

The question of the day in Austria is... Will he ever be caught?

I contend that not a single minute of police work ought to be expended in any attempt to catch this thief. He will be caught for sure. The police just must be patient. All they have to do is wait 8 to 10 years. Within that time span a very fat guy is going to come waddling into an Emergency Room somewhere in Austria. When that happens they can put the cuffs on him.

There will be no need to rush up to him with the cuffs. He is not going to run away.

Would I kid u?

Technorati Tags: Thief,Chocolate,Austria,Emergency

A Few Days Ago I Said I Was Rich But Now I Realize How Rich I’m Not

In a recent blog posting I said I was rich because a benefactor was paying me $.25 every time anyone anywhere said or wrote the phrase “Black Friday”. If you want to refresh your memory go to...

http://www.forii.blogspot.com/2012/11/im-suddenly-rich-other-silliness-about.html

My wealth could be incalculable if someone would be willing to pay me $.10 every time anyone anywhere says or writes the phrase, “Fiscal Cliff”.

Would I kid u?

Technorati Tags: Black Friday,Fiscal Cliff,Rich

An Arithmetic Lesson or Do You Remember Common Sense?

Have you looked at my Credit Card Statement lately? There I go being silly again. Of course you have not looked at my Credit Card Statement but, more to the point, have you looked at your Credit Card Statement lately?

My last Credit Card Statement has a warning in it for me. Yours does to. Allow me to direct your attention to your Credit Card Statement’s Dire (that’s right “dire”) Warning...

• Mine tells me my new balance is $1,902.
• It also warns me, if I make only the minimum payment each month and do not buy anything more with the card, it will take 20 years to pay off the new balance.

What did I just hear you say to yourself? Did I just hear you say to yourself, “I’ll just get a few more credit cards and get my stuff with them”. I wish I had not heard you say that to yourself.

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Are my numbers too small to make an impact on you? Let’s try some actual big numbers from one of our USofA’s states.

This state has Unfunded Pension Liability of $83,000,000,000...

Otherwise known as 83 Billion Dollars otherwise known as 83 Thousand Million Dollars

Do I see you starting to fog over at my attempt to get you to be concerned for this state’s predicament? Allow me to try again...

As of the end of September this silly state has $6,000,000,000 in Unpaid Bills...

Otherwise known as 6 Billion Dollars otherwise known as 6 Thousand Million Dollars

There are other states in similar dire situations and their “leaders” don’t seem to be concerned either.

How could any official in any of these states not be in a state of panic? Panic is nowhere to be seen because, as Senator Foghorn Leghorn would say to us...

“Why, son, don’t you understand that we have shopping to do and it’s football season, son, by golly, I say again, It’s Football Season!”

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Now would you like me to go on and put together a similar analysis of our Federal Governments fiscal situation? I can’t do it. My computer does not have enough words and numbers inside it to do this Untenable, Unsustainable, Unbelievable situation justice.

Just for a moment think about this one point. Can you even imagine how much Interest we are paying? Are we even making the Minimum Payment on this Credit Card Bill? If we are making the minimum payment, it does not make the Smartfella feel one bit better.

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I’m exhausted and you are tired of me so I’ll close with this...

Our Federal Debt is 16 Trillion Dollars and growing every minute.

Did I just hear you say to yourself, “Sixteen isn't that much”? Think about it this way...

Sixteen Trillion Dollars Is Sixteen Thousand Billion Dollars!

Our debt is growing at more than $3.5 Billion a day and that’s much.

Would I kid u?

More: Did I just hear you say to yourself, “3.5 isn’t much. Why that’s not even 4.”? You know, sometimes I wish I did not have the gift of being able to hear what you say to yourself.

Technorati Tags: Federal Debt,Debt,Federal Deficit,Deficit,Credit Card

In The Spirit Of Compromise

There is much talk in Washington these days about the need to reach Consensus on the many issues that our “leaders” have been haggling over for a long time. The word Compromise is in vogue.

If you do not know what Compromise means to the warring factions in Congress, I will try to enlighten you. In the Official Congressional Dictionary the word Compromise is defined as...

Compromise is achieved when the idiots on the other side of the aisle agree to give in to your logical arguments and consents to give you somewhere between 75% and 100% of what you have been rightfully demanding.

Please allow me to give you an example of Compromise using irrefutable logic.

Let’s abandon the Congressional Definition above and say the Compromise in my example is a Meet Exactly in the Middle Compromise. If you are smarter than a Fifth Grader you will not need your calculator to follow along as we Compromise our way to a Congressional Consensus.

Let talk taxes...

• The side that wants higher taxes demands a certain percentage increase in taxes.
• The side that does not want higher taxes agrees to compromise and consents to meet half way.
• The next time it is convenient to bring up the subject of tax increases the side that wants higher taxes demands a certain percentage increase in taxes.
• The side that does not want higher taxes agrees to compromise and consents to meet half way.

Need I add more bullets? Let us just say that this demand for higher taxes and compromise settlement goes on and on through an unlimited number of cycles...

It does not give me the least bit of solace to know that mathematically taxes will never get to 100%.

How about you? Does that make you feel better? If it does, you are not smarter than a Fifth grader.

I can just hear members of our Congress poking holes in the air on the floors of their respective chambers saying…

“My Fellow Americans, we did not take it all. You have some left.”

Would I kid u?

Technorati Tags: Compromise,Consensus,Taxes